A gay story: Secret Prayer Ch. 05 Gage’s first order of business come Monday was to go to Beachwood Creations and give Xavier his information so they could make him an official employee. Xavier told Gage that he would be showing Gage how to do everything there was to do in the shop and with making the designs as well as the sales side, but he wanted to start Gage in the back first. He felt Gage had a lot of promise in this field and was more than happy to teach him everything.
Tate, with the help of Kennedy, Jeremy, and Jimmy, managed to get a job as an aid in a legal office while working on getting himself enrolled in school. He wanted to get into engineering if he could but would need to find scholarships and grants to do so, as well as fill out FAFSA forms.
Jimmy helped Gage through the restraining order process along with Lucia, being a calm head to explain to Gage how it all worked and what to expect. He was still being bombarded with messages from his family, and Mr. Hartman had sent other missionaries over to try and plead with him and Tate to come back, as well as home visitors from the nearby church.
So Gage was already a little on edge when the doorbell to their home rang one night a week and a half later while all three of them were at home. The Foundation Folks had made it a practice to call or text before coming over for that very reason. Tate and Gage both looked at Jarek like deer in headlights, like they weren’t sure what to do. Jarek motioned for them to stay seated and crept over to the door, peering through the peephole.
There was a girl standing at the door, with long blonde hair and the same beautiful green eyes as Gage. She looked nervous and had a man with dark hair and a well groomed beard standing behind her. Jarek stepped away from the door and quietly described the pair to Gage.
Gage practically jumped out of his seat and went to the door, opening it to the startled face of his younger sister. Once she saw it was him, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
“Do mom and dad know you’re here?” Gage asked her as he hugged her back.
“No, not yet,” she admitted, looking over her big brother like she was trying to make sure he was okay and not hurt in any way. “Brett brought me in his car. I imagined you would be one person against our parents and the church, and couldn’t stand the thought of that. Are you okay? Are you eating enough? Do you have enough clothes and such?”
“I’m fine,” Gage replied. “We have a foundation helping me and I have a job now. Addison, this is Jarek and back there is my companion Tate. Ex-companion. Friend.”
“You’re the boyfriend?” Addison asked Jarek.
Jarek cocked his head, smiling, “Did we make anything official, Gage? I thought we were extended FWBs…”
Gage rolled his eyes at that playfully. “I mean, we haven’t talked about it for sure, but I was hoping so.”
Addison grinned at that and immediately walked over and hugged Jarek warmly. “It’s so nice to finally meet you then. You’re very handsome and funny, so I see why my brother was so taken by you.” She backed away far enough that she could look at him while still keeping her hands on his shoulders. “Please do not judge me or Brett by the rest of the family. I’m very angry at all of them and may just have my wedding out here with Gage in attendance to spite them.”
“Careful, he is bisexual. You know they’re rabid and can’t control themselves around any gender,” Tate said.
Gage shushed Tate but pulled Jarek over to him. Brett came up behind Addison and finally introduced himself to Gage. It was clear that they knew of each other but hadn’t met in person yet. The two of them shook hands and Gage did the brotherly thing of reminding Brett not to hurt his baby sister.
Gage looked to Jarek, his expression asking if they could invite them in like he wasn’t sure he technically had the right to do that, especially after everything that had happened. Jarek nodded with a broad smile and left the honors to Gage. Gage practically beamed at him and then asked Addison and Brett to come in and offered them drinks.
“Did dad really get the cops involved?” Addison asked after they were all seated.
Gage nodded his head. “Yeah, it was kind of terrifying, if I’m being honest. Cops don’t have a good track record with our community, and I was more scared that someone else would get hurt because of me than for my own safety. It’s only because of Lucia’s quick work that I wasn’t committed that night. Lucia thinks they would have used that to try and get power of attorney over me and take me back to Utah.”
“Yeah, that’s what dad said the ultimate goal was,” Addison replied, her face scrunched up in disgust. “They learned nothing from what happened to Craig other than to lock up the guns. I’m so sorry they brought cops into your home like that.”
Jarek nodded his appreciation. “Thank you, but that wasn’t your fault. Some people just can’t bear to see others enjoying their lives because of the light that it shines into themselves.”
Addison considered that and nodded her head. Their parents hadn’t been happy with each other for a long time. They didn’t even sleep in the same bed anymore, and hadn’t for a long time. “Dad keeps saying that once you corrupt Gage as much as you want, that you’ll move on to your next ‘conquest’ as he puts it.”
“Forgive me if I’m not overly hurt by the opinion of a misguided man who would rather put his son in jail or the hospital than let him live his life,” Jarek responded.
Gage winced a little at that reminder, but Jarek made a good point. “Dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I think the only kid that follows his word like it’s gospel is Kayla, and that’s because she’s…”
“A popular mean girl bitch,” Addison joined in so she and Gage said the same thing at the same time. Then she added, “I don’t think she’s going to grow out of that unfortunately. I was always hoping but…”
Gage shook his head. “She gets too much enjoyment out of it. It makes her feel superior to everyone. She was practically glowing with happiness when she let those cops in.”
“Well, speaking of people who dislike her!” Addison cried, suddenly remembering something. “Marina said she is driving out to join us at our Airbnb while we’re here to support you.”
Gage stared at his sister in shock for a moment. “Marina? Wait, she’s taking time off from classes to come out? Wow, I haven’t seen her in…I don’t even know how long it’s been.” Then he seemed to notice the confused faces of Jarek and Tate. “Marina is one of my cousins. She lives on the east coast though, and we don’t see her often. She left the church a while ago, along with her siblings.”
“That’s encouraging,” Jarek said with a smile.
“The whole family is nice to their faces but there’s a lot of talk about them making bad decisions,” Gage explained.
“Yikes,” Jarek said noncommittally.
Addison smirked at him. “It’s okay, you can say it like it is. Marina is one of the best people I know, so warm and loving and loyal, and it’s bull that she is treated the way she is.”
“How long are you here for?” Gage asked them.
“As long as is necessary,” Addison replied.
Brett gave a nod of his head. “Addison asked me to ask for remote work for a while, which I’ll be doing here so we can be here to deal with your family for you as long as you need us for.”
“I appreciate you both so much more than I can adequately describe right now,” Gage said.
Jarek played the host quite well, helping them get settled and offering drinks. When it came time for dinner, Addison wanted to help Gage make it, and the two siblings worked in the kitchen effortlessly together as if they had been doing this for a long time. It was a stark difference from when the rest of the family was there. Gage looked relaxed around his younger sister, and they talked and laughed as they cooked. The tense look Jarek had seen on Gage around the rest of his family was gone when he was with Addison.
He was happy to see it, and he said as much during a lull in their chatter. “You know, Gage, you can cook around here more often if this is how much you enjoy it!”
“Yes, put him to work!” Addison laughed.
Gage smiled at that. “I do enjoy it, actually. As I got older though, I wasn’t allowed to do it as much. Dad said it was women’s work, so Addison and Kayla needed to learn, but Craig and I didn’t. I’d help Addison when mom and dad weren’t home though, and Kayla was out.”
“It’s criminal to keep people from learning basic life skills and to gender household chores,” Jarek said, shaking his head.
“Agreed,” Addison replied. “I taught Gage sewing and Gage taught me how to change my oil, change a tire, and more. All when dad was never around, of course.”
“Dad has antiquated rules,” Gage grumbled. “Grandma taught us how to make her recipes though, and we helped her pick fruit and vegetables from her garden.”
Addison and Gage brought the serving plates out to the dining room table and then told everyone to dig in. Gage seemed to be picking at his food as he watched Jarek for his reaction nervously. Jarek dug in with enthusiasm, almost moaning when he took the first bite.
“See? Now you can be a good little wifey,” Addison joked, and Gage practically choked on the bite he had taken.
“Oh,” Jarek corrected gently, “that’s not how the Gays do it. We divide the housework into Top and bottom chores and whoever… well, pitches or catches that day gets the corresponding chores.” He winked at Gage with a twinkle in his eye to show that he was joking.
Gage shook his head at that before telling Addison that they generally split the chores based on who hated what and who didn’t mind what. “Plus, most people don’t jump into marriage the way Mormon couples do. No offense to you two. You two seem very happy and I’m excited for you, but that always felt very fast to me.”
Addison gave a nod of her head. “I understand. To be fair to Brett, I’ve dated him since high school but didn’t tell anyone because you know how dad is. I didn’t want to see if those chastity belt jokes were real.”
Jarek gave no outward sign of his feelings on the matter of getting married. He simply ate his meal and panicked on the inside. The suddenness of all of this was beginning to worry Jarek, but he was trying his best not to let it show. It wasn’t without its benefits, after all. He found he felt drawn to Gage like he had never been drawn to anyone before. It was just that he had been a playboy for so long that his instincts were up in arms.
Gage, meanwhile, didn’t hide that he was uncomfortable with the general talk of marriage, and his sister and soon-to-be brother-in-law seemed to understand. To Gage, marriage had only been talked about with the idea that he would marry a woman. It was never a consideration that he could marry someone he actually loved. For that reason, the idea of marriage had been soured for him for a long time. He wasn’t sure how long it would take him to recalibrate his thinking, but he was fine with taking time and working with his therapist to change it. Not now though.
“You aren’t going to be able to come to the wedding in Utah, are you?” Addison asked.
“Not unless a whole bunch of people suddenly change their outlooks and get cool with letting me leave afterward, no,” Gage admitted.
Addison looked disappointed but nodded her head. “I’ll see if Marina will take some photos while we are up here then. A few of the three of us and then some of just us two, if that’s okay.”
Gage smiled at that. “I’d love that, Addison.”
After dinner, Addison and Brett helped Gage clean the dishes and then Addison hugged him tightly and Brett shook his hand before they both gave their goodbyes to Jarek and Tate.
Jarek mentioned that they could stop by any time if it meant he didn’t have to cook OR clean up afterward, which gave them all a chuckle. Addison agreed and then said to him, “Keep him safe when I’m not here, okay?”
Jarek readily agreed to do just that and thanked them again for stopping by. Once they were gone, Tate excused himself to go take a shower and go to bed so he’d be rested for work in the morning. Jarek and Gage went into the master bedroom where Gage sat down while Jarek made sure he had everything for class the next day. While puttering around the room, Jarek casually told Gage he had quit his night job.
Gage looked surprised by that and didn’t know what to say at first. “I thought you said you were making bank at that job.”
“I a– was. So much so in fact that I’ve put aside what I need to finish classes for the rest of my degree and cover my part of the expenses here. I’m still keeping my restaurant job, but part of the reason I haven’t been around so much lately is because I’ve been saving up,” Jarek explained.
“What made you decide to quit? I had gotten the impression that until you actually finished your degree, that wasn’t the job you’d be quitting anytime soon,” Gage asked.
Jarek shrugged, “I haven’t been feeling up to it each night. Leaving home to go to work was a lot easier when there wasn’t anyone to come home to.”
Gage smiled at that, but didn’t say anything. Then he got a smirk on his face and said, “Yeah, that Tate is like an excitable puppy sometimes. I can see why you’d want to come home to that.”
“Well, who wouldn’t! All that Golden Retriever energy…” Jarek said.
Gage laughed at that and leaned back on the bed so he was propped up by his elbows. He loved that they could joke like this. It was one of the easiest relationships he had been in, romantically or platonically. “And what about me? What kind of energy do I give off?”
“You? You’re electric. Every touch and kiss,” Jarek said simply.
Gage let out a breath at that, because it hadn’t been the answer he was expecting, but he felt the same way about Jarek. Gage’s expression had lost all of its joking tone, and he was looking at Jarek with a look that said he both felt the same way and wanted to feel that electricity.
Jarek sat down on the edge of the bed. “Gage, I’ve been meaning to talk with you about something,” he started.
“You can talk to me about anything,” Gage commented and sat up. “What is it?”
Jarek looked thoughtful for a time, drawing out the moment. “I don’t want you to be upset, but I feel like I’m conflicted about something and I was hoping talking with you could help.” He hesitated, then rushed on, blurting out, “You knew I was a playboy before I met you, and you took a chance on me anyway, so I feel like I can be honest and tell you that I feel a bit rushed with all this marriage talk. I know your sister means well, but I am not interested in getting married until I am more established in a career.”
Gage pressed his lips together in brief annoyance at his sister and then blew a breath out. “In the church, things move very quickly. Couples only date a brief amount of time before they go to get their temple recommend in order to marry in the temple. So, when couples are serious, or seem serious, that talk comes up. Honestly, though, marriage to me always meant being suffocated and pretending to be who I’m not, so it’s not exactly in my head right now. I love my sister, but she’s talking about something that has only ever meant oppression to me. I’m not looking at the idea of marriage at all right now, if ever. I’d need to completely change my outlook on it, Jarek, and that doesn’t happen overnight.”
Jarek breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad I brought it up instead of sitting with it,” he said, kissing Gage briefly on the mouth.
“I know that this probably all feels really fast right now,” Gage said when the kiss broke. “Tate and I can always look for a small apartment to share. We both work now so it wouldn’t be too difficult to do.”
“Did I say that you needed to move out? I just don’t want to get married tomorrow!” Jarek said.
“No, but I wanted to make sure you knew it was okay to ask me to if you needed that ever,” Gage replied. “I don’t want to get married tomorrow either. I haven’t seen a lot of good marriages in my family, to be honest. Mom and dad are miserable together, aunt Alana left the whole state when she divorced my uncle Stefan. Uncle Derrick won’t even date, and my aunt Kora and uncle Henry are…well, they’re happy together but they talk shit about everyone who doesn’t fit their perfect little Mormon ideals. Marriage seems…risky, and challenging, and…unhappy.”
“That really sucks, honey. I’m sorry to hear it. Marriage has usually meant tons of kids who always get ignored among the Phillipses. Catholics are almost as difficult a cult as– well, as Mormons,” Jarek said, slightly hesitant. He didn’t wish to upset Gage with his opinions of his former religion.
Gage snorted at that. “No, I think Mormons are worse. Everything is done in the shadows, or the safety of the temple.”
Jarek nodded, but didn’t give up that easily. “Does your leader look like that dinosaur who ate Nedry in Jurassic Park when the wind blows?”
“Which one?” Gage asked. “We have twelve of them, and they are all old white men covered in wrinkles and gray or white hair. Does your entrance into the temple involve things like being anointed with holy oil while mostly naked?”
Jarek chuckled. “We’ll have to exchange horror stories, when I’m ready to dig into my own traumatic experiences…” he said ominously.
“Oh good, we can trauma dump with each other,” Gage laughed, then he looked serious again. “I’m sorry my sister upset you. I’ll tell her not to mention marriage unless it’s about her and Brett.”
“She can feel free to mention it if she wants. What’s important to me,” Jarek responded, “is how you feel about the prospect. I don’t want anyone upsetting you, but if you’re okay with her talking about it, that’s fine by me so long as you and I are on the same page.”
“She really should be focusing on her own wedding,” Gage commented. “We’re definitely on the same page, but…what happens if one day you decide you do want to get married and I just…don’t want to ever?”
“We will discuss that if it ever comes to pass. I don’t believe in secret marriage proposals. You will definitely see it coming because we will talk about it. Fair?” Jarek asked.
Gage nodded his head. “Completely fair.”
Jarek smiled and kissed him soundly. “Now,” he muttered after a few passionate moments, “where were we?”
Gage smiled. “You were talking about electricity.”
“Was I? It’s too bright in here for that…” Jarek said, turning the lamp off.
Gage let his eyes adjust to the low light in the room and looked at Jarek as he moved back on the bed again, this time resting on his elbows in the center of the bed. Gage could admit to himself that he didn’t really know anything about seducing someone, but it seemed that with Jarek, it didn’t take much to get his point across when he looked at him with a heated expression.
Jarek lost his shorts and climbed seductively onto the bed, knowing that Gage was watching him in the twilight glow of the bathroom night light. Gage ran his hand along Jarek’s chest and abs once he was close enough, unable to take his eyes off Jarek. Breaking eye contact for a moment and licking Gage from belly button to mid chest, Jarek finished straddling Gage’s lap and inches from his face. “Slut,” Jarek said with precise elocution and a sultry smile.
Gage smirked at that. “Only for you.”
“For now,” Jarek said, “According to Mr. Belford it’s only a matter of time before you feel the desire to sow your wild oats and live the capricious, carefree life of a won ton. Or something.”
Gage put his arms around Jarek’s shoulders and then kissed lightly along his neck. “I thought that was you. My dad doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Besides, you’ve lived that life enough for both of us.” He licked up Jarek’s neck and to his ear, where he whispered, “I just want you. Only you.”
“There’s a song in there somewhere,” Jarek said with a smile.
Jarek felt Gage smile against his ear. “I don’t know songs well other than ones we were allowed to listen to, but you might be right.”
Jarek’s face took on a mischievous cast and he smiled wickedly. “You may be crazy,” he said in a sing-song voice.
Gage moved back to lay his head down again so they could look at each other, and he gave a little shrug that said he didn’t know that reference either. “Maybe you can help me come into this century?”
“Sure thing! As soon as you cum into this ass,” Jarek said, sitting down and grinding on Gage’s lap.
Gage let out a groan at that, but then he looked a little self-conscious. “I’ve never topped before. Or bottomed, but I’ve heard it’s far easier to suck as a top than as a bottom.”
“It depends on what you’re sucking,” Jarek said, continuing to grind his ass against Gage’s hardening cock.
Gage moaned and grabbed onto Jarek’s hips. He was worried he wouldn’t cut it as a top, but if it was what Jarek wanted, then he was more than willing to give it to him. Gage gave Jarek a nod that said he was willing to try and then ran his hands up Jarek’s torso, using his nails on the skin there. Jarek leaned down, sensing Gage’s hesitation. He said, “Don’t worry, baby, I know how to bottom from the top.”
With that, Jarek reached between his thighs and slipped a hand down the waistband for Gage’s shorts. Jarek fished around briefly and then closed his fingers around Gage’s cock with a smile. Gage let out a surprised groan, always forgetting that the touch from Jarek was so much more intense than when he would touch himself. He trusted Jarek so he was okay with letting him take the lead and guide him through this. Jarek used his other hand to push Gage’s shorts down as he slithered down his body and took his cock into his mouth.
“Fuck,” Gage breathed out, his head falling back as his eyes closed. That mouth was magical, and soon Jarek had him completely hard and leaking precum like a dribbling fountain. Gage stopped him just before he came, as he didn’t want to risk the chance that he would be too tired for the main event. Jarek did as he asked and kissed him deeply, letting him taste his own flavor on Jarek’s breath and tongue. Mostly he wanted Gage to be sloppy and wet.
Reaching to the night stand, Jarek squirted a bit of lube onto his hand and gave it a swipe through his crack before lubing up Gage’s hard cock. Jarek guided it into place and lowered himself onto it slowly. Gage swore out under his breath because of how hot and tight Jarek was. It was like nothing he had ever felt before. It was intense and amazing, and Gage looked up at Jarek so they locked eyes as Jarek continued to slowly impale himself with Gage’s cock.
Once he had Gage fully seated inside himself, Jarek closed his eyes and moaned gently. His colon gripped Gage tightly and spasmed occasionally, though whether that was happening on its own or if Jarek was doing it, Gage had no idea. Opening his eyes and continuing to look into Gage’s eyes, Jarek started to slowly move him out and back in, it was only when they were a few strokes in that Gage realized they hadn’t used a condom.
Gage really only had enough time to look momentarily surprised by that before Jarek’s movements made it hard to think. He decided he would have to bring it up afterward, as it was already too late now. Gage kept a grip on Jarek’s hips while he sat up a little bit to take one of Jarek’s nipples into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue before he started sucking on it. His movement forward changed the angle he was going into Jarek, causing his cock to drag along Jarek’s sweet spot inside with each movement back inside.
Jarek continued to ride Gage while he worked on Jarek’s nipple. He clamped down on Gage’s cock when rising and let off the pressure as he took his lover’s cock inside. Gage let go of Jarek’s nipple as the pleasure overtook him. He was barely able to think enough to reach between them to stroke the head of Jarek’s cock before Gage was crying out in orgasm. It was then that Jarek realized what he had done. As Gage forcefully flooded his colon with his thick seed, Jarek’s face looked like a surprised Pikachu. Any chance Jarek had of orgasming with Gage was destroyed in that moment, though a distant part of his mind still noted how amazing it felt to have someone he trusted erupting in his rectum.
“Are you okay?” Gage asked between shallow breaths.
Jarek was unsure how to answer that, so he simply said what was on his mind, “I am SO sorry!”
Gage took Jarek’s face in his hands and kissed him gently. “So, both of us forgot the condom. It’s not the first time it’s happened to someone and won’t be the last, but I trust you, and if something bad comes of it, we’ll deal. You don’t need to apologize.”
Jarek tried his best to relax and let it go, but all he could think about was his history as a bit of a sloot and he didn’t want any consequences of that being visited upon Gage because of a moment of forgetfulness. Still, Gage was right and didn’t seem to be as upset, so he took solace from that. “There are baby wipes on the nightstand, could you grab them for me, please? I think you left a couple of fully-grown tadpoles up there…”
Gage snickered at that and reached over to the night stand to grab them for Jarek. He pulled a few out before handing the package to Jarek, helping Jarek clean up as Gage’s softening cock popped out of him. When they were all clean and spooning afterward, Jarek muttered into Gage’s hair that he had recently been tested and was negative for everything, but that he was going to continue to get tested just for safety as HIV could take up to 6 months to show up and he had only been celibate for a couple of months before they moved in together.
“That’s smart,” Gage agreed. “And we know my sexual history is…one blow job and that’s it before you.”
Jarek nodded behind his head, then realized that Gage couldn’t see that and said, “Yeah.”
Gage leaned back into Jarek’s chest, loving the feel of their bare bodies together like this. There was a part of him that felt like this was a big deal, a big achievement, to have lost his virginity, and to someone he actually wanted to other than just because it was expected. At the same time, he didn’t want to dwell on it as if it was something to put on a pedestal. He was a virgin, and now he wasn’t. Jarek probably had his own story about losing his, but it wasn’t the last time he had sex, and this wouldn’t be the only time either.
Plus, Jarek seemed a little skittish when it came to big commitments, and putting this type of emphasis on it might freak him out. That was the last thing Gage wanted to do, so he just enjoyed the feeling of Jarek holding him and let himself drift off to sleep.
The next day Jarek got to meet Marina in passing. She was much shorter than her cousins, and very clearly not completely white in race. She had darker skin, dark hair that was almost black and deep brown eyes. She seemed to be a very feisty woman who didn’t filter herself from saying what she thought. She did it in a tactful way, but she didn’t sugarcoat it either. She warmly greeted Jarek and immediately treated him like just another significant other of her cousins, which meant she told him she wanted to get to know him and to take care of her cousin.
Marina did take photos for Addison. Addison found a nice white dress to wear for the photos, and even though it wasn’t her wedding dress, she loved them. Marina worked on editing them and less than a week later, she brought over printed off versions for Gage as well. There were a few of them that were just of Gage, and Gage looked a little embarrassed while Jarek looked through them. Jarek was sure to crow about how very handsome Gage was and celebrated the skill with which Marina had taken the photos.
In the end, Jarek selected a favorite and ordered a large canvas print of it to frame and hang in a prominent place in the house, which only caused Gage to blush even more.
He hadn’t heard much from the rest of his family besides seeing Kayla around every once in a while, and Gage was wondering if they were done with whatever they were trying to do. That was, until Addison came knocking on the door way earlier than she ever had before with Brett and Marina in tow, all of them looking at Gage and Jarek with grave expressions.
“Jarek, are you from Texas?” Addison asked once they had gotten inside and the front door closed.
Jarek looked momentarily confused, then slightly alarmed. “Yes, but how did you –”
“Their dad is a psycho, that’s how,” Marina grumbled.
Addison looked like she was going to argue for a moment before she stopped and then shook her head and looked at Jarek. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how he does the things he does sometimes.”
Gage clenched his jaw in annoyance, and Brett said, “All he really needs is a name. Anyone can pay for background checks. It’s pricey but accessible.”
“Sounds like privacy is for sale as much as anything else,” Jarek said. “Most importantly, though, what did he do with that information?”
“Fucking capitalism,” Marina mumbled angrily.
“According to dad, he thought that two sets of parents was better than one trying to talk you two out of this ‘nonsense’ as he puts it,” Addison explained.
A dangerous look darkened Gage’s face, making him look far more serious and menacing than Jarek had ever seen him before, and Gage seemed to be considering his options. “I’m going to fucking kill him,” Gage ground out, his voice deeper in his fury, emphasising every single word he said.
Jarek’s mood was just as dark. He had worked hard to distance himself from the pile of homophobes that made up his original “family”, opting instead to build a family of caring individuals where he found himself. He had gone to great lengths to make sure he was as far away from them, both physically and culturally, as possible. Now apparently they were here to bother him once more.
Jarek was broken out of his thoughts by Addison and Marina yelling at Gage to stop. He had grabbed Brett’s keys from him and was about to go and find his father to make good on his promise, and now Tate and Brett got in front of the door to block his exit.
“If you actually go and hit your father, then he gets what he wants!” Tate told Gage, his hands raised up to stop him. “You’ll end up in jail and he can try and claim you aren’t mentally fit and need to go back to Utah for treatment. With a threat under it, they might just side with him.”
“I’m not sure I really care right now,” Gage admitted.
“They have a point,” Jarek said, breaking out of his own self-pity to try to help talk some sense into Gage. “Don’t let him win.”
Gage clenched his jaw so hard Jarek was surprised a tooth didn’t crack or something. It was clear to everyone that Gage didn’t want to change his course of action, but with a great amount of effort, he dropped the keys back into Brett’s hands and turned away from the door to stalk over to the couch. He ended up sitting down on the couch looking defeated, staring off into the distance though he wasn’t really looking at anything at all.
Who would actually stay with someone whose family did this to them? Gage was asking himself in his head. The only answer he could come to was: no one. No one would. Jarek sat next to him and caught his eye. “This isn’t your fault, you know,” he said with conviction, “They’ll do anything to get you back into the cult. My own family tried several times to drag me back to church after I realized that what the priest was doing to us behind the closed door of his office wasn’t normal.”
“Isn’t it my fault though?” Gage asked. “You never had to be involved in all of this. I should have met with them alone, or with just Mr. Thayer and Mr. Sparks and Kennedy. If you hadn’t been there for everything, they wouldn’t know enough to have done this. That directly connected to me.”
“Gage,” Jarek said in a tone that showed his displeasure with Gage blaming himself. “You seem to forget that I am the one who checked you into the hospital. I connected myself to you when I did that. There’re a lot of Phillips families in Texas and around the US. He would have needed at least as long as the time since then to find them. He came prepared for any eventuality.”
“Besides, blaming yourself takes away the fault that sits squarely on their shoulders,” Tate pointed out. “They did this maliciously. All you did was meet a guy and have feelings for him. Of the sins here, which is actually worse?”
“According to who?” Gage asked, though he didn’t look at either of them. “Me, Jarek, or the church?”
“Fuck the church,” Marina spat out. “It’s controlling and run by bigots. I can see how your dad has made this possibly more dangerous for Jarek, but you can both get through this.”
“Gage, loving someone isn’t a sin,” Addison said as she came over to sit down on the other side of him, putting her hand on his shoulder. “You’re both consenting adults, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to be with each other. Nothing.”
“Yet my love seems to be harming everyone,” Gage replied.
“That’s exactly what they want you to think,” Jarek said.
Gage let out a sigh and leaned his elbows against his knees, burying his face in his hands.
Jarek rubbed his back comfortingly while he texted the group chat with the Foundation the latest update so they could get a plan together. He made it clear in his message that he wanted restraining orders against the lot of them, especially his parents, for mental and emotional anguish. Jeremy explained to Jarek that they would need proof of danger for the restraining order for his own family, but at this point they had more than enough for Gage’s. So for now, they needed to wait to see what Jarek’s family would do, which Jeremy and Jimmy both agreed was a sucky way of dealing with it, but the justice system wasn’t always fair on victims, or fast.
It wasn’t hard to get Gage an emergency session with his therapist, luckily, so he let Brett and Addison drive him over to that before he went to his job. He focused on learning some of the iron work they did in the shop, wanting to really get his body into it this time because he was so angry at everything that was going on. He kept his phone on him while he worked though in case something happened.
By the time he came back home, his body was sore from everything he had been doing and he had streaks of sweat along his face from being up near the fire for most of the day. He felt accomplished though, and felt like he had a good idea of how to work with the wrought iron now.
Jeremy and Jimmy were there when he got home, talking with Tate and Jarek about what they could do about everything going on. Gage said his hellos and then said he was going to take a quick shower before he joined them. When he came back out he gently sat down on the couch next to Jarek and they could all tell he was sore, even with the very hot shower he had just gotten out of. Gage’s skin was warm against Jarek’s arm when he leaned into him so Jarek knew how hot he’d probably had the water.
“You seem to be settling in well at work,” Jeremy commented.
That made Gage smile his first genuine smile that day. “Xavier is great. If he’s not in the front of the store with customers, then he’s back teaching me various techniques on what I’m doing. And all of his workers are great people. I’ve learned more than I ever thought I could in the short time I’ve been there. I love the work too. I’m very thankful that you could help me get this job.”
Jarek smiled at that, pleased that Gage enjoyed what he did. He made a mental note to offer him a massage later. “So, circling back to my family damaging me…” Jarek started, “Would any of my therapy serve as proof of that or maybe my trauma journal? I have no doubt they’ll bring the Bishop and I’m pretty sure even if he’s new to the area, there are still priests associated with that Diocese who are in my journal.”
“We can definitely try to use those, but how long has it been since you’ve heard from any of them?” Jeremy asked.
“About seven years,” Jarek answered after a quick calculation in his head.
“Well, I’ll have Lucia start filing,” Jeremy replied. “The judge might claim they aren’t a danger to you now, so it might take a bit longer to get yours through. We can keep fighting it though, and make sure you both document everything. I have no doubt that Gage will get his, though. They’ve gone to extreme lengths to get him alone with them and vulnerable. Has your family said anything to you yet?”
“No, it’s been radio silence. My guess is they’ll try to show up when it will be most dramatic for them. Mother’s name is literally Karen, so…” Jarek answered, rolling his eyes.
“Alright, well, we’re on standby whenever you need us,” Jeremy said. “How are you dealing, Gage?”
Gage shrugged his shoulders, and then winced slightly at how sore they were. “I’m angry, and feeling guilty, and want to scream, so I turn that into physical labor.”
“Be careful with that,” Jeremy warned. “Sometimes it feels good to use physical means to deal with emotional problems, but you don’t want to go overboard and harm yourself physically. There are so many bad things you can do to your body without meaning to.”
“And so many good things you can do to your body if you’re not sore every day…” Jarek said with a sly smile.
Gage smirked at that, accepting that they both were right. “I’ll be more careful, I promise.”
Jarek smiled back and hugged his arm gently. Jeremy looked over at Jimmy, and there seemed to be some form of communication going on with their looks before Jeremy looked between the three young men seated with them.
“I was hoping to avoid this, if we could, but your family seems to want to play dirty, so it may be time to use the press to our advantage here,” Jeremy said.
Jarek squinted at Jeremy suspiciously, “What do you have in mind?”
“Sometimes, in escaping cults, the press is your friend,” Jeremy explained. “People find it interesting, it makes good stories. If we talk with a few specific reporters we know, they can put out that your church and family are trying to use the police and hospitals as a way to kidnap you back. It, unfortunately, puts a big spotlight on you personally, Gage, but it also puts a spotlight on your church that they won’t like.”
Jarek looked to Gage, indicating to him that it was his choice and that Jarek would back him up. Gage’s face drained of color as he considered that option. It wasn’t exactly how he had wanted to come out to the rest of the people he knew in Utah, but it wasn’t a bad play. He glanced over where Tate was, and Tate gave a short nod.
“Alright, I’ll trust you on this,” Gage replied.
“But if he’s doing this, I want in,” Tate added. “That way it’s not just him. My father may not be trying anything, but the Mission President has put me through hell the last almost two years, and I stand by Gage.”
Jeremy considered that. “Actually, showing the disparity here isn’t a bad idea. They aren’t trying everything to get you back, which is…well, good, obviously, but not what you would expect from a church like this. Show them the black sheep side and the side of the one who looks like the good Mormon boy.”
Gage glanced over at the mirror that was hung on the wall behind a table, looking at himself. His hair was getting shaggy, but he didn’t necessarily hate it that way. His skin was pale and mostly unblemished other than a few moles and scars from outdoor activities. He looked the good Mormon boy part, if a little too disheveled for his father’s liking.
“Would it still work even if I stopped looking like the good Mormon boy?” Gage asked.
“Thinking of some freedom spending?” Jeremy asked him.
Gage slowly nodded his head. “We were always supposed to protect our bodies. They belong to God after all. No tattoos, no piercings unless you were a woman, and we mostly stay away from hair dye and unnatural hairstyles.”
Jarek rolled his eyes a little at the “belong to God” comment but otherwise seemed supportive. Jeremy looked thoughtful at that and nodded his head. “It would still work, yes. In fact, I think quite a few people would understand you wanting to finally get a real taste of that freedom. Don’t waste your money, though. Find a good shop and I’ll pay for your first piercing and tattoo.”
“I couldn’t after everything you’ve already done!” Gage started, but Jeremy held up a hand to stop him.
“I insist,” Jeremy replied. “Money is supposed to move through society. I have far too much of it sitting in our bank accounts. Besides, I find this a worthy reason to spend a little.”
Gage smiled and accepted, and they spent the rest of the time planning for their legal battle and looking at tattoo artists online.