A gay story: The Good Old Boy Ch. 03 Sometimes it’s been so long since you’ve felt good, you can’t even remember what it was like. I didn’t know when I started feeling this bad, but it must’ve happened a long time ago, when I wasn’t paying attention, mired deep in a bad relationship in a city seven hours away from my small-town home. I didn’t even know how miserable I’d actually been until this moment, when Louis Welch and I were holding each other in the back seat of my dad’s old Shelby 500 GT that had been sitting under a tarp in the garage for almost 20 years, after mind-blowing, surprising sex that came from nowhere and just exploded between us.
For a long time we said nothing. I just lay there with my cheek on his chest, my hand on his bicep, thinking how good I felt. I thought I was miserable about getting dumped and losing my job and having to move home to my brother’s basement, but actually I wasn’t miserable at all. There was nothing complicated about it: I was happy. In just about an hour Louis Welch had turned everything that had been happening in my life from bad to good. If I hadn’t lost my job, if that dick Marc hadn’t kicked me out, I never would have come home. I never would have turned to Louis and kissed him in my brother’s auto shop and it never would have led to this.
All these years I’d known Louis, since the sixth grade, when he started coming over to our house to spend the night with my brother Andy. We’d eat cereal and watch Saturday morning wrestling on the living room floor. Andy was the popular one, always surrounded by crowds of friends, and I was weird little brother everybody picked on. Only Louis was ever nice to me. I angled my head up from his chest and looked up at him amazement; I couldn’t believe what had just happened between us. Louis Welch, after all this time, I didn’t really know him at all.
He noticed me looking at him and smiled, pushing back his long, wavy brown hair, falling out of its ponytail in the aftermath of our wild, hot sex. God, he was so cute. “It’s getting cold in here.”
“Yeah.” The sweat was drying on our skin and I pulled up my pants and zipped them. “Want to go in the house?”
“Where’s Andy?” he hesitated.
“Took the kids to a classic car show at the state fairgrounds. They won’t be back until tomorrow.” I grinned as his face lit up, realizing what this meant. We had the whole house to ourselves all night. “You hungry?”
“Hell yes.” We were both a little stoned and I had the major munchies. We giggled like kids as we pulled on our jackets and gathered up our come-stained t-shirts we’d used to wipe up the back seat; but there was nothing we could do about the back windshield of the car that I’d cracked with the cast on my arm in a moment of passion. Andy was going to be pissed off and I’d have to pay for a new one, but right now it was hilarious.
“Shit, that was good weed, Louis,” I said, stumbling a little, grinning like an idiot.
“I know,” he answered smugly. We pulled the tarp back over the Mustang and locked the door behind us. While we were getting it on, the sky had turned black and rain slanted down in torrents. Before it started, Louis had walked down the gravel drive from the house instead of driving his car when he came down to the garage looking for me, so we were forced to make a mad dash through the cold rain, holding hands. When we got up to the door we were both soaked to the skin, our teeth chattering as we stripped off our dripping jackets and shoes in Andy’s kitchen; despite the cold, we were making out. As we kissed I kept my eyes open. I wanted to see him. How could I never have seen before how sexy he was? Some of Andy’s other friends were hot, I used to have a big crush on this guy Eric, but I’d never thought of Louis that way. Even with his long hair wet and matted down from the rain, and that scruffy little beard, he still had the same cute smile I remembered through the years. He always smiled at me, always asked me how I was doing. What might have happened if I’d noticed him years ago?
My hands slid over his cold, wet bare stomach down to his jeans, where my fingers worked the top button. “Let’s get these wet clothes off before you catch your death.”
“Yeah, I could really use a hot shower,” he answered, and I backed off, a little hurt.
“Okay, I’ll go find you some dry clothes.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” Louis caught me and pulled me back to him. “I meant both of us, Sean.”
“I can’t take a shower. I can’t get this cast wet,” I reminded him.
“Don’t worry about that. You go get some towels and some dry clothes and come back upstairs. Go,” he smacked my butt and I went downstairs to my room to find us both some clothes. Louis was a little taller than me, but my clothes would fit him, so after digging t-shirts and track pants out of one of the piles I went back upstairs at a run.A few years ago Andy spent a lot of money remodeling the master bedroom, adding on a huge bathroom and walk-in closet to please his ex-wife, who wanted everything to be more and better than what Andy could afford. With Louis’ help he’d installed a huge double Jacuzzi, surrounded in gorgeous tile, with a separate shower. Andy only took showers and the kids had a separate bathroom in the hallway when they came on weekends, so since the bitch left the tub was just sitting empty and unused, except as a hamper for Andy’s dirty laundry.
When I went through my brother’s room I could hear the water running in the tub. Louis had cleared out all the dirty clothes and found some bubble bath under the sink that Lindsey had left behind, and he was sitting on the edge of the tub still in his wet jeans, lighting the dusty candles she’d put there that Andy never bothered to get rid of. Looking up, he smiled while I stood staring at what he’d done, touched.
“All this for me?” I whispered. Nobody had ever gone to any trouble like this for me before. It was so romantic, a funny feeling spread over me. Funny as in scary. Especially when I saw his brown eyes looking up at me, his long wet hair hanging free against his cheek, grinning, and my stomach dropped like on the sudden descent of a roller coaster.
“Get in.”
There was no way to refuse such an offer. I shyly peeled off my wet jeans and slid into the big tub. The water was hot, warming up my cold feet, and the bubbles closed around my neck like pillowy clouds. There was more than enough room for two people; I watched Louis stand up to take off his pants. In the Mustang’s tiny back seat, with my back to him– getting fucked by him– I really didn’t have a chance to look him over. Naked and beautiful, with slender hips and belly, lean, not cut like my cousin Nick, with soft light brown hair skimming his chest and down over his stomach. Gorgeous cock, perfect, big enough to make my ass a little sore; but it was a good soreness, reminding me how he filled me up. He got in way at the other end of the tub and we faced each other, our outer thighs pressed together under the hot water, while the jets came on and swirled the hot water around us like a boiling cauldron, humming low and steady.
“That feels good.” Closing his eyes, Louis sighed and sank back into the foam, his head tipping back against the tiles.
Questions raced through my brain, but they seemed lodged in my throat. Usually I talk and talk; I rarely ever shut up. But for the first time in my life I was speechless. I really liked Louis, more than I had liked anyone in a very long time. This terrified me. I had to be careful. I didn’t want to get hurt, but I hadn’t felt this way since…. Well, I didn’t even like to remember that far back. Being with Louis wasn’t like being with someone new, where you’re constantly worrying about the impression you’re making, and going through the tedious getting-to-know-you stage, “Hey, that’s my favorite Chili Peppers album too,” kind of shit. It felt like just catching up. He knew me, he knew my family as well as I did. He even knew my dad…
“So, did you come over here today to fuck me?” I finally said, going all the way to cynical, protecting myself. When I found myself caring, I got scared and I tried to push people away. I knew it. Maybe that was why I found myself in rotten relationships with people I didn’t really love. I didn’t love them so they couldn’t hurt me. I was safe behind my impenetrable walls.
Louis laughed with his eyes closed. The way he looked, sexy and relaxed, made me start to get a hard-on again, even though I hadn’t fully recovered from our passionate explosion in the back seat. I could fall for him, I realized with a sudden sick feeling. I’d known him practically my whole life; he was a part of my life already. It wouldn’t take much for him to get into my heart, my soul.
“I came over here to smoke some weed with your brother; I didn’t know he’d be out of town. But I saw he wasn’t here so I found you playing with yourself. The rest is history.”
Run, my every instinct told me. Run far, run fast. Around this time, I usually started acting like an asshole, doing something to screw things up and sabotage my chances with someone I actually might like. I don’t know why I did it, but the story was always the same. However, I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I managed to remind myself how good I felt when I was with him, and I laughed slightly and let some of my fear slip away. My questions– was he gay, was he just fucking around with my emotions– weren’t that important. I wasn’t going to marry the guy. Why ask a lot of questions he might not be ready to answer? Louis didn’t have to tear my walls down; he was already there, behind them, before they even existed. Why not, for once in my life, just enjoy the moment?
“Can you help me wash my hair?” I asked softly. “It’s hard to do with one hand.”
“Sure, come over here.”
Under the billows of white foam I slid over to him, between his thighs, my back to his chest. The insides of his legs brushed my hips, enclosing me. My shoulders were tense as he turned the sprayer on; I closed my eyes and bit by bit I relaxed as the warm water flowed over my hair, down my face and my neck. Louis’ hands were so soothing, lathering up my hair, rubbing my temples, that I found myself leaning back against his chest while he soaped me up with long, slow strokes, over my head and my neck. Under the water my left arm was draped over his thigh and my right one was carefully propped up on the edge of the tub. Never in my life had I felt so good… so at ease, so perfectly in tune with someone. This was something I’d always longed for but had always been afraid of, this closeness. Now that I tasted it for the first time, I was scared, but I stayed exactly where I was.
“Rinse.”
His voice was in my ear, soft and simple. His hands, the way he touched me as he rinsed out all the soap, careful to keep it out of my eyes, melted me completely; I couldn’t have moved if I wanted to. My head fell back onto his shoulder as his hands slid down over my chest. I could feel his prick hardening against my lower back, and even as I responded the same way, I didn’t move. For once, I let go of my need to be in control. I just wanted to feel his touch.
Slowly, he soaped me up all over with a big sea sponge that was both soft and scratchy. I lay limp against his chest, sprawled out, eyes half closed while his fingers traced my skin, every inch of me, and his lips brushed the back of my neck and my shoulders, tongue swirling through the drops of water that clung to me from the sprayer. The back of my neck is a major erogenous zone for me and in an instant I went from relaxed and limp to electrified. Twisting my neck, I hungrily caught his mouth with mine and filled it with my tongue. A little moan came up in the back of my throat when I tasted his mouth, he tasted so good, I wanted to taste all of him.
“We really need to get out of this tub,” Louis whispered, a millimeter away from my lips. “Before we slip and break your other arm.”
I groaned. “Yeah, I wouldn’t like to explain this to the rescue squad.” Reluctantly, I pulled my body from its place between his thighs, where it felt so perfect. We dried each other off with towels and our tongues, steaming up the mirrors, till we were aching for each other. What was it about Louis? When we were together, when I was touching him and he was touching me, I totally lost my head; I didn’t think about what I was saying or doing, I didn’t censor anything. My need for him drove me to do and say things I never would have allowed myself to do with anyone else, I was always so worried about saying too much or looking foolish, but with Louis I was completely wild and abandoned and it scared the hell out of me, but it also thrilled me in a way I hadn’t felt in a long, long time.
We groped each other urgently, moving together, our mouths locked. There was no time to go all the way downstairs to my room. My brother made his bed every morning, so I threw down a towel over his comforter and dropped to his bed, pulling Louis with me, above me so that his body pressed against mine, his hard cock throbbing against me. He grinned down at me, laughing while I pawed at him, biting on his neck.
“Your brother would shit if he knew.”
“He never fucks anybody on this bed so somebody needs to.”
Grabbing him, I locked my legs around his hips and pulled him down, kissing him desperately; but this time, Louis did not give in to my need for speed. He pulled back deliberately, gently pushing my arms down to my brother’s mattress and holding them there, gazing down at me with his dark eyes, a little smile playing on his lips.
“Not so fast, Sean.”
“God, I love it when you say my name…”
“Sean.” He licked my nipples, torturously slow. He said my name again, and again while his tongue grazed my collarbone, down between my pecs, over my stomach and darted into my bellybutton, making me scream out. Always before I was quiet and collected in bed. One part of me always held back, watching myself with a critical eye, always staying in control. But not now. My control was in shreds and I almost sobbed as he swirled his tongue over my sensitive lower belly and into my blonde pubic hair. His breath was hot, whispering across the head of my cock.
“Louis, stop.” I whimpered.
I caught his head in my hands before his flicking tongue found my balls. I couldn’t stand it, it was just too intense. When I opened my eyes a peep I saw him looking up at me questioningly and I forced a smile to release some of the tension I felt. I was all ready to say something clever and witty, but the way he was looking up into my eyes, like he could see past them and into my soul where all my fear crowded, made my mouth go dry and I couldn’t speak. Instead, Louis rose up above me and brought his lips down to mine and kissed me, slowly and tenderly.
In that moment, that kiss, I was lost. My love was a little bottle inside me, and it broke and my insides were slowly filled with a liquid seeping through my veins, from the middle of my chest all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes. It was too late to run. One moment I was teetering on the brink and the next I fell over the side, I fell completely and totally in love with Louis. I almost stopped breathing and I was scared to even look at him for fear he’d see it reflected in my eyes.
I couldn’t tell him how I felt, but I could show him. Gently I placed my hands on his chest and eased him off me, down to his back, his head on my brother’s pillow. As I kissed my way down his stomach, teasing his nipples with my tongue, I closed my eyes and breathed in. Clean and soapy, sweet, punctuating the funky smell of my brother’s room, incense and dope smoke and dirty clothes; Louis’ hands were on my shoulders, then sliding up over my neck and through my damp hair in a gesture that seemed almost more intimate than what I was doing to him. My tongue circled the plump, juicy head of his prick and moved it forward, burying it. I felt him jerk and gasp in a little breath.
I knew what that little gasp meant; I remembered making that sound myself the first time a guy’s mouth hot, wet closed around my cock, a sound of need, mixed with shock at the intensity of the pleasure. I couldn’t help but smile as I slid my palm up over his stomach reassuringly. Back arched, head thrown back on the pillow, he clutched handfuls of the bedspread with his fingers. Tremors passed through him under my hands. Everything that had happened today was all new to him and that made me incredibly hot. I loved him, I wanted to share everything with him, I wanted to make him feel so good he couldn’t stand it.
It was different when you loved the person attached to the cock. I wanted to give him a blow job he’d never forget, and so instead of pushing it, trying to get it over with as soon as possible before my jaw started to hurt, I took my time. I let the head rest against the roof of my mouth like a big ripe plum while my tongue flicked over the thick rim and down the shaft. I loved that little flare around the head, that soft, soft velvety skin, his soapy scent, and the low, throaty growl he made while his hand came down and rested in my hair. He didn’t hold my head to thrust deeper into my mouth; I hate that, it’s so rude. No, Louis just gently ran his fingers through my hair, drying into a stringy blonde mess. With my right hand, the one in the cast, I reached up and touched his arm lovingly.
“Oh, Sean. Oh my God.”
His whole body jerked when I pushed my tongue down into the slit at the tip of his cock. I could tell by the way his balls tightened he was about to come, so I eased off, letting him relax, catch his breath. Then I performed a little test that separated the men from the boys. It was a sure way to find out if I was dealing with someone who was only playing, or someone who really wanted it. I started to pick up the pace and the intensity of my thrusts, taking him deeper, and then I pulled back and let my hand take over while running my tongue down over his balls, under them, and into his butt crack. My tongue slicked back the little hairs until it found his tight, virgin asshole, so cute, so sexy, untouched till now.
“Oh God, Jesus Christ.” Louis’ whole body jumped. I pulled away a bit, smiling.
“No praying allowed.”
Now was the time for him to stop me, if he was going to. This was the point of no return, the line in the dust no straight man would step over. I even waited a second, giving him time to think it over. But he did not stop me; in fact he wriggled his hips forward, closer to me, lifting his leg slightly to allow me better access, and so eagerly I explored the pinkish, puckered little hole with my tongue, gently probing, while Louis lay against the bed frozen in pleasure, breathing in shallow, surprised gasps. The passage was tight, but not clenched. Gradually I felt it relax and I stiffened my tongue and ever so gently slid it past the ring of muscle and into his ass. Slowly I moved it in and out and as a deep shudder went through him and he let out a low, desperate moan in the back of his throat, just hearing it like that and feeling his excitement almost undid me.
The darting motion of my tongue was too much for him and he was getting close, too close; I wanted him to come, but not like this, it wasn’t time. I stopped, pulling away.
“Hold that thought.”
Leaving Louis naked and panting on my brother’s bed, I jumped up and went for the bathroom, where I had strategically noticed earlier a little jar of Vaseline on one of the shelves. His eyes widened when he saw it, I know what he thought I was going to do with it, but that wasn’t what I had in mind. Not now. I wanted to feel him inside me, to fill me up the way he did in the garage, fully and completely until I tasted him. It was something I never thought I’d want again, to be taken and claimed the way he possessed me. The past still hurt too much. But with him I wanted it, I wanted him to know all of me.
My eyes met his and stayed locked there while I stroked him with the Vaseline. I wanted to remember this moment as perfect, only him, with nothing before it. I closed my mind against the memories the smell and the feel of the greasy Vaseline tried to choke inside me, a different face in a more innocent time. Being home had brought these memories to the forefront and I wanted to wash them away right now, and replace them with images of the gorgeous and shining present, and the sweet, generous man I was with now, so familiar to me that I didn’t know at all.
I lay down on my back with my eyes still on his and silently told him what to do. Rising up on his elbows, he lowered himself on me, still looking deep into my eyes, and he kissed me, his tongue gentle but demanding. Some guys won’t kiss after the rimming action and the fact that he didn’t care that I’d just tongue-fucked his ass was unbelievably sexy. My raging erection was trapped between our bellies and if he started to move, I knew I couldn’t hold out long. But I didn’t move to take things over; all I did was lie still and wait for him. What usually turned me on was to be in control of my sex partner; I could not bear to be passive or vulnerable. And yet for once, I was completely open and giving myself to Louis without hesistation, letting go of the role I usually played so well.
Our tongues played, our mouths locked; and when he slid into me with one long, smooth stroke, I tasted his moan and felt it shudder all through me.
In the car, he fucked me hard, with no lubrication other than spit and the clear, slippery drops that shone on the head of his cock. The dull burn of being stretched was what I needed then, it drove me to a place I had forgotten existed, and I rode him, controlling his strokes. Now he was so slick, he could have pounded me into oblivion, but he didn’t move at all. Completely still, buried in me, he looked down into my eyes with his long hair falling down around his shoulders and down into my face. I reached up and caught it gently around my fingers, stroking the side of his scruffy bearded jaw. We smiled at each other briefly as he slowly began to push into me.
I was a little numb from the hard fucking earlier and at first I didn’t feel much other than his weight, I watched him flush as his eyes glazed over, felt the sweat break out over his body as I slid my hands up his back, feeling all the lean muscles flex under his smooth skin. He filled me completely, all the way to the top, and not just in a physical way; holding him in my arms like this, looking up into his face while we were as close as two people could ever get, filled me with this deep, incredible sense of completeness I’d never felt in my whole life. And while I experienced all these deep emotions, all the sudden his short, careful thrusts hit something deep inside me and pushed me straight to the edge like it was a fucking cliff.
“Oh my God,” I breathed. My body froze and through glazed eyes I saw Louis grinning down at me, sweat glistening on his face while he fucked me. I loved him more than I could stand; I grabbed him and pulled him down so he was crushing me with his weight and I captured his mouth with mine, catching his lip with my teeth, filling him with my tongue the way he filled me. My body took over, thrusting forward, harder, pushing him; he went rigid in my arms and let out a low cry into my mouth, and I felt the eruption of his orgasm inside me, pulsing, once, twice, and then stopped, still hard in my tight hole.
Breath heaving, he lifted his head and looked down at me. Between our stomachs, my own aching cock was close to exploding. The friction and the thrusts were just enough to excite me beyond belief, but not enough to make me come, especially when I’d just shot in the back seat of the car less than an hour ago. I squirmed, whimpering with my need for satisfaction, and Louis pulled out of me suddenly, leaving me with a bereft emptiness I hadn’t felt in many years, like he belonged there; he reached for my cock, but I stopped him without a word and took it in my own hand, and he watched up on one arm while I quickly and expertly got myself off in just two strokes.
“Oh.” I let out a wild cry while the orgasm flooded through me, shooting off orange fireworks in my brain while I kept stroking, prolonging it as my come spurted out over my hand, onto my stomach, and pooled in the light blonde hair that trailed down my abs.
A second later, spent, I looked up at Louis and saw him smiling wickedly. He dipped his head down, to my disbelief, and licked the come off my stomach, his tongue swirling through the hair. It was absolutely the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life and I felt my insides contract like an electrical current was shooting through me; but I was too exhausted to get it up again for a second, or rather, a third round. I wasn’t 18 anymore. Instead, I pulled him down and buried my tongue in his mouth, tasting my own salty-sweet essence.
After that we found ourselves holding each other seriously close; and there was a long silence that seemed to be building up to one of us saying something pretty intense. It was then in the silence that Louis’ stomach let out a long, loud growl. We both cracked up, breaking the tension. I wiped up with the towel under us.
“Come on, let’s eat.”
Cooking was kind of my thing. I’d started cooking meals for Andy and Dad and me when I was about ten, and Andrew was more than happy to let me do all the cooking these days. After Louis and I cleaned up and got dressed, I cooked ham and cheese omelets, sausage, biscuits and gravy while we drank beer and talked. We knew each others’ pasts well enough, but we weren’t very caught up on what was going on in the present.
“Still have your Harley?” I asked, nostalgically remembering his elbows on my knees, my hands on his shoulders and his ponytail blowing in my face 11 years ago.
“No, I sold it. Having a flashy ride is the quickest way there is to attract the attention of the cops, narcs and the county drug squad.”
“So… you’re dealing?” I probed.
“That sounds so bad. I merely furnish my homegrown bud to a select group of friends, and they give me a little cash donation to help fund my education.”
While I beat the eggs, I learned Louis was living with his dear old granny in her farmhouse while he worked as a vet tech during the day and went to school 4 nights a week, majoring in biology. Next semester he’d be going to veterinary school at the nearby state university. I was amazed, I had no idea he was so smart and talented, even though he’d gotten decent grades in school, better than mine. His grandma might look sweet, he told me, but she was no fool. She knew what he was up to and she kept him on the run, scouting out his pot plants no matter where on her forty acres he planted them; he’d finally found the perfect hiding place, and he promised to take me to see Little Mickey, his prize plant, taller than my head and dripping with resin, the biggest fucking ganja plant I could imagine, that even my brother had never laid eyes on.
The phone rang. I had no intention of picking it up. My mom’s cheery voice came on the answering machine.
“Hi Sean, it’s your mom.”
“No shit,” I muttered to Louis. She always said that when she called, like I wouldn’t know who it was.
“Listen, honey, I was talking to the Lakes. You know them, they own the Wild Goose Saloon? They’re looking for a bartender; I told them about you and they said you have the job if you want it. They know about your arm and they said it’s fine. That’ll be a good job for you to earn your keep until you get your cast off and you can help Andy in the shop until you go back to the city.”
At that, I noticed Louis’ eyes went to me. I never thought there was any reason for me to stay here. But now, I was much less eager to leave. After all, even a job slinging beer at a redneck bar was more of a job than I had in the city at this point. My mom left the Lakes’ number and hung up after telling me to call her. Carefully I concentrated on the omelet, avoiding Louis’ gaze; I didn’t want to talk about leaving. The Wild Goose? Christ. I could just imagine that, hanging around with Nick and the other drunken rednecks from high school every night.
As we sat around the table eating and drinking, we started talking about high school. We moved in totally different social circles. I was more the artistic type and Louis hung out with my brother and the other stoners. “I think I wanted to fuck you then,” Louis grinned. “But I wasn’t ready to face it yet.”
“I understand.”
He’d had a serious girlfriend back then, Danielle, one of the bleach-blonde rocker chicks with big hair and ripped jeans, who hung around with my ex-sister-in-law Lindsey. They were all in my grade and I couldn’t stand any of them. You hardly ever saw Louis without Danielle attached to him, they were even engaged at one point. When I asked him what happened to her, he made a choking sound.
“Let’s just say she figured something out about me that I’ve kept a secret until very recently.”
Oh, shit. Was he telling me he was gay? It was obvious he was at least bisexual, but I needed him to be honest about it. And I definitely wasn’t going to push. I waited, but he didn’t say anything more, so instead, as we got a little drunk, I started telling him about my four years with Marc. He was a professor of American history. When we first got together I was in awe of his tremendous intellect and more than happy to let him run my disorganized life; he was older and very regimented, very efficient, completely the opposite of me. Gradually his guidance turned into control, which I resented more and more, and there were numerous sexual problems, mostly his and not mine, even though he blamed everything on me. Now I was so relieved to be away from him, his passive-aggressive hold on me, his constant phone calls to check up on me, I was almost delirious with freedom. To think I was ever actually upset when he told me to leave!
As it got later, we cuddled up on the couch together, drank beer and smoked weed, playing Zeppelin CDs from my brother’s collection; and I told Louis about the guys I blew in high school. I named a few names he didn’t believe, but he really couldn’t believe it when I told him about my first–and really only–serious relationship, the only time I ever really gave my heart. Bryan Mitchell. Everyone at school knew him as Mitch, only I ever called him Bryan. A year older than me, in the grade between Louis and me, Bryan was class president, National Merit Scholar, handsome, tall with dark hair and a smile that hit me like a clap of thunder even in the crowded hallways, not even directed at me. He was a brain, one of the popular kids even if he was a little nerdy, and I was not. At school we hardly even acknowledged each other; but we were together secretly for my whole junior year.
Everyone thought Rachel was my girlfriend, and Bryan really did have a girlfriend who knew nothing about us. We’d known each other all through school, but we were not in the same cliques and we never talked, not until the summer I lived with my mom between sophomore and junior years. Mom had just moved in next door to Bryan’s family. It all started because we were bored, both of us without cars and nothing to do during the long, dull small-town summer. We hung out together a lot, listening to music in my room, not really even talking. And one thing led to another. I was sure by then I was gay, but Bryan wouldn’t admit it, even though he was wholeheartedly into being with me. At least, he fucked me wholeheartedly. I was totally, deeply in love with him, the way only a 17-year-old can be, completely without reservations; and he even said he loved me. He was going to wait for me, and after graduation I was going to join him at the same college, where we would live happily ever after.
Needless to say it didn’t work out that way. I didn’t like to go into the painful details, it still hurt too much even after 13 years, but in the end I was profoundly hurt by him; and the scars cut so deep I’d never let myself get even close to feeling that way again. Until now. And that was why I was so petrified to find Louis breaking down my carefully constructed emotional walls and grinding them to powder.
“So… I don’t know what’s become of him or what he’s doing now,” I finished with a shrug.
“Well, I do,” Louis stated suddenly. “He’s married with two kids and he teaches chemistry at our old high school.”
“No kidding.” I shook my head. “Well, I feel sorry for his wife. She probably has no idea he’s gay.”
“Sleeping with a guy doesn’t necessarily make you gay,” Louis pointed out with some amusement.
“It sure doesn’t make you straight,” I snapped. Was he indirectly talking about himself? The thought made me feel sick to my stomach. I withdrew to the corner of the couch, pulling my knees up in front of me defensively; I must have been pretty transparent because Louis grinned and followed me, cornering me and pinning me to the couch while he kissed me, slow and sweet. It was too soon for either of us to be aroused again, and instead I just buried my face in his long, silky hair and closed my eyes with my arms wrapped around him, holding him.
The phone rang again; this time it was my best friend Rachel, half-whispering on the machine. “Sean, listen. If Tom calls here, you and I went out to the casino last night, and I had to drive you home. Okay?”
I sighed, shaking my head while Louis laughed. “A gay best friend’s work is never done.”
“What was that all about?”
In the course of explaining all last night’s events, which seemed like they happened a week ago and not a day, I told him all about Ryan and Rachel, and then about Nick Innis and me, and what occurred when he brought his truck to the garage this morning, and exactly why I had my hand down my pants when Louis found me in the shop earlier. He seemed amused, but somewhat scandalized.
“Dude, isn’t he your cousin or something?”
“Third cousin,” I emphasized. “We’re hardly related at all.”
“I never would’ve pictured him as…” He wasn’t sure what word to use.
“Bi-curious? Me either. He’s definitely not gay, he’s just one of those people that will try anything if it feels good at the time. It didn’t mean anything.” It was important for me make that clear, even though Louis wasn’t asking, he was just kind of looking at me. Wait, did that make me look like a slut? Christ, we never even mentioned condoms, did we? I got all nervous and started babbling. “Not that I do that kind of thing all the time. I haven’t been with anyone but Marc in four years, and I’ve been tested, so you don’t have to worry that I’m going to give you any diseases.”
Louis pulled me back against him and started massaging my shoulders. “It’s nice you’re concerned, but I trust you. I’ve known you too long not to. You know something I’ve always thought about you, Sean?”
“God knows,” I answered nervously.
“You’re way too uptight.”
“Really? I think I’ve calmed down a lot in the last 12 years.”
“You have, especially since you started smoking dope. Now that we’ve talked all about your ex-boyfriends, why don’t we talk about you.” He breathed into my ear. His hands felt so good rubbing my neck, working out the tension. “Tell me what makes Sean tick, what gets you off.”
“Well…” This was definitely a subject I was uptight about. I tried to brush off the question by playing cute. “Umm, I like to masturbate.”
“No kidding,” Louis teased. “I hadn’t noticed. But tell me what you think about when you’re touching yourself.”
“First you have to answer the same question,” I stalled, turning it around on him.
“Okay.” Louis didn’t seem to have a problem telling me his fantasies, which he admitted he’d never talked about with anyone before. He’d already told me earlier that he’d been thinking about being with a guy for a long time. He’d seen enough porn to know the score. If he never got to act out this particular fantasy, he qualified, that was fine; but something that really excited him was the idea of someone watching while he was with a guy. It could even be a girl, he didn’t really care about that, it was just the taboo of being watched that turned him on. I didn’t say it, but the wheels were turning in my head; there were several ways I could set that up, if things worked out. If this didn’t turn out to be just a one-night thing, and that would only happen if he wanted it to, because I certainly didn’t.
“Now you. I really want to know.”
“I can’t, Louis.” I backpedalled as fast as I could. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t think I can tell you.”
“Come on, Sean. If it’s a little kinky, so what? As long as it’s not illegal, or dangerous, it’s no big deal. I won’t be freaked out.”
“My ex was.”
“I’m not him.”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and mumbled something under my breath.
“What was that?” Louis demanded.
“Peeing,” I mumbled a little louder, squirming with shame. My heart was pounding. “I… I get off thinking about peeing, okay?”
“What, like on someone, or what?” Louis asked casually.
“No… on… on myself,” I admitted reluctantly. “You know how when you’re about to come, sometimes it’s so intense, there’s a moment you’re not sure whether or not you might piss…”
All the sudden Louis started laughing, which was not the reaction I was expecting. “That sounds like prostate trouble to me, Sean. Wait… I’m sorry, it’s not funny. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, that’s nothing. It’s kind of cute, actually. If you don’t mind my asking, how did you become interested in this?”
“At first I just noticed that feeling, and it kind of stuck in my mind; and then I stumbled across some stuff on the internet, and I started seeking out web sites, and it kind of became my secret little hobby. I mentioned it to Marc kind of half-joking, but he thought it was disgusting so I didn’t pursue it.” Actually, despite my initial embarrassment, it was kind of a relief to talk about it. It had been a secret for such a long time and now I didn’t have to hide it anymore. It was almost like coming out of the closet. Again.
“So have you ever done it? I mean, on your own?”
“No, I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think I could handle it if someone caught me, or found out, and I really can’t believe I’m even telling you this.” I wiped sweat off my forehead. I couldn’t have told anyone but Louis. He’d made a joke, but he wasn’t horrified. A lot of people said they didn’t judge, but Louis was the most accepting person I’d ever known. Why had I never noticed this about him? “Also,” I added suddenly, without even meaning to, “whenever I think about it, I blow my load so fast, I’ve never been able to actually get that far.”
“Well– do you want to try it?”
“What, now?” I got panicky again.
“Yeah, sure.” He shrugged. “It’s really no big deal, Sean. It’s probably pretty common. There’s even a name for it, right?”
“Yes, but… I don’t know, there’s a difference between thinking about it and really doing it.” The fetish, if you will, was just too secret, too recently exposed for me to take it all the way so soon. “I want to try it. But another time.”
“Okay,” Louis said casually, and to my relief he let it drop.
Long into the night we hung out in the living room, getting more and more drunk and high, talking about anything and everything. Somehow we managed to get Louis’ soaked clothes into the washer and dryer. Finally, we were both totally baked, giggling and stumbling down the stairs to my room; I pulled Louis’ clothes off, all except his socks, and we fell into bed but we only groped around a little before we were asleep. My last conscious thought was how good he felt next to me.
Our connection was almost scary. When I woke up in the night with an aching erection just from his closeness, Louis was already awake, waiting for me. No words were needed. I dug a tube of lubricant from where it was hidden between the mattress and the wall and Louis turned me over on my stomach and fucked me slow and hard in the dark, his long hair brushing over my back like a curtain of silk. I gripped the edge of the bed, hardly able to withstand the intensity. He belonged inside me. God, he was fucking amazing, and sadly, it had been a long time since I’d been with someone who turned me on as much as he did. I was fast becoming addicted to him. We had not planned ahead; there was no towel or shirt or anything handy to wipe up with, but in a moment of inspiration Louis reached down and pulled his sock off. He used it to wipe up as he pulled out, and then he grabbed my hips, rolled me over, and went down on me. I let out a cry; and at the last minute, caught up in an earthquake, I pushed him back and finished myself off with my hand.
He slid up next to me and buried his sweaty face in my shoulder. I grabbed him as our breathing returned to normal and I came down off my high, drifting toward sleep.
“Why won’t you let me get you off?” he whispered suddenly.
I was thankful for the dark that hid my face from him. It was easier when I couldn’t see him, whispering even though there was no one to hear.
“I don’t know… it’s just this thing I have. It’s not you. It’s me.”
He was quiet a second. “In case you’re wondering if you can trust me…”
Ever since he washed my hair, that’s exactly what I was wondering, if I was going to get hurt, because I couldn’t stand that, not at my age–
“You can.”
Next morning, I buried my face under the pillow and groaned as sunlight peered through the high window opposite my head. The rain had finally stopped and it was a clear early spring day, still cool enough in the damp basement to need blankets. I was not a morning person. The clock said it was after nine, not even close to time for me to get up, but I was alone in the empty bed. There was no sign of Louis except for his balled-up socks on the floor, stiff with last night’s dried juices.
Laziness won out over curiosity for the moment. I always hated getting out bed. I would lie there until I had to pee so bad it hurt. Finally, I was forced up to get up and go naked to the bathroom. Once in the hall I could smell coffee, so I knew Louis hadn’t slipped off without waking me up, like a one-night-stand who only wanted to escape. I stood there for a very long time, pissing out all last night’s beer with my eyes closed sleepily, the splashing of the water letting me know my aim was on. Emptying my aching bladder felt so good I let out a little groan.
“Need a hand with that?”
Louis was leaning in the doorframe with his arms crossed and his eyes on my dick after sliding over my naked body. I was embarrassed, in light of last night’s confession of my secret interest in water sports; but at the same time I was highly turned on. While he watched my cock started to harden and rise, and the flow of piss naturally stopped, leaving me with a slight pressure in my not-quite-empty bladder. I tried to force it out and all the sudden Louis was standing behind me, his hard cock pressed against my ass through my borrowed boxer shorts he was wearing, and his hands slipped around me and gently wrapped around my dick, pointing it down to the toilet. Electrified, I stood there with my mouth open and my mind blank. I was frozen, rooted to the spot, while the conflicting needs of my body struggled in me.
“Can you finish?” he whispered.
I wanted to. I needed to. I needed to finish pissing and then push him over the sink and fuck him silly, virgin or not; but I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t let me. Not even a trickle. Helplessly I stepped back from the toilet. I was weak with disappointment, but when Louis turned me around, his brown eyes grinned into mine and he led me through the hallway into the bedroom, where he quickly shucked the boxers and a t-shirt of mine he was wearing so that he was naked, his erection springing up against his belly. I sank down on the edge of the bed and reached for him, my hand on his hip; I wanted to taste that beautiful thick cock of his, but he stopped me.
“No, baby,” he whispered; and a hot wave of love and desire flooded my whole body when he used that word in that sexy voice. I assumed he wanted to fuck me again, and I was fine with that. I slid down the edge of the bed to my knees so he could take me doggie-style, the only way we hadn’t tried it yet. But once again he stopped me, and so I waited, unsure what he wanted, while he lay back full length against my bed with his head on my pillow.
“You. Up here.”
By now I was panting, ready to do anything he wanted. What he wanted was for me to straddle his chest, my knees on either side of his neck, right above his shoulders, so that my cock was right in his face. The pillow lifted his head so the angle was better. As his tongue swirled around the head of my prick, tasting the rim, I braced my good arm against the wall behind him for support, while my broken right arm slid down and my fingers cradled his head. I looked down and almost shot off just at the sight of my body thrust forward, his head between my knees, my cock dancing on the edge of his lips, his pink tongue flicking over my balls. Jesus fucking Christ!
He felt my hips buck and grinned, his hands catching my ass cheeks. His face was red in what I knew from yesterday was a flush of excitement. “Whoa there, Trigger.”
“Oh Louis, oh God,” I whimpered like an idiot.
“I know you like to be in control,” he said in that low, raspy, unbelievably sexy voice. “Then do it. Fuck my mouth.”
“Oh shit….”
A note of fear entered my voice, but I plunged forward into his waiting mouth, supporting his neck with my hand, lifting it off the pillow so he could take all of me. It was like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. There was nothing between us, nothing holding me back as he took my cock deep into his mouth like he’d been doing it all his life. The pleasure was so intense I was terrified; tears formed in the corners of my eyes and a scalding sweat trickled down my back, dripping onto his chest. His hands gripped my ass hard, forcing me into a wild, pounding rhythm. His eyes gleamed up at me, he was fiercely determined to make me come in his mouth, and I was on the edge of doing it–
“Louis, no, I can’t!” I cried out. His hands released their tight hold on my hips and he let me pull out of his mouth as the orgasm tore through me and I spurted right in his face, splattering his bearded chin, his neck, and my pillow with my spunk. When I was spent, I drew a shaky breath and smiled down at him sheepishly while he wiped the sticky fluid off his face with his hand, grinning.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? That was amazing.”
God I love you. It almost came out of my mouth. To stop it, I flipped off him to my side, up on my elbow, and took his heavy, engorged prick in my mouth. He was close to coming already. While I blew him, I was thinking how amazing this was, how unexpected; and yet, I was totally unsure about what happened next. There wouldn’t be many opportunities for wild nights like this. I certainly wouldn’t feel right fucking Louis downstairs from my brother, and on the weekends, my niece and nephew; and Andy hardly ever went anywhere other than work and occasionally out to bars, so the house was seldom empty. Better, I guess, to have a weekend fling than nothing at all, but I just wasn’t sure I could stand it that way.
Now wasn’t really the time to be pondering that, however. Increasing the pressure of my sucking, I took him deeper until I felt his balls go tight and his hips bucked up. He let out a moan. Hot, thick come filled my mouth and I swallowed it quickly. Sometimes the stickiness gagged me, but Louis’ come was creamy, not chunky, and almost sweet. I licked my lips while he lifted his red face, grinning.
“Damn, baby.”
I laughed, running my tongue up his chest to his mouth. I kissed him, sharing the taste of his come. Then I closed my eyes and rolled over next to him, relaxing. My hangover wasn’t terrible, but I could use a few more hours to sleep it off. “Nap time.”
“I want to,” Louis said, “but I can’t.”
I tried to hide my hurt and disappointment. “Why not?”
“I’ve got all kinds of shit to do.” He got up and started putting on his clothes that he’d gotten out of the dryer. “I’ve got three exams this week I have to study for, I need to take care of my animals at home, and I’ve got to do follow-up visits on some animals later.”
“On a Sunday?”
“You call the sick animals and explain to them it’s my day off,” he suggested. “Besides. Andy will probably be home soon, won’t he?”
“Yeah,” I admitted softly.
“He’s probably not ready to see you sitting on my face,” Louis said with a grin, and I had to admit, he was probably right to a point, especially since the kids would be with him. I watched him button his pants. Baby, he called me. We had never talked about where we stood now. Shit, I didn’t even know if he was gay or not. I couldn’t ask. I didn’t want to seem whiny, or needy; I didn’t want to seem like I cared too much. So I said nothing.
“Can I borrow some socks?” he grinned.
Eventually, Louis buttoned up his flannel shirt and sat down on the edge of the bed next to me with his soft, wavy long hair hanging loose and shiny in the sun coming through the little window. It was all I could do not to bury my hands in it.
“I gotta go,” he said in a very sweet, soft voice I hadn’t heard before, his brown eyes going over my face. He smiled. “I’ll see you later this week though. Okay?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, swallowing my fears and doubts. “Okay.”
Part 4 coming soon…
[zilla_likes]