A gay adult story: A Second Time With John “Revised” by markerss ,
I hadn’t been up to the game room in several week, but I continued to think about what had happened and there came a point where I finally convinced myself to go see him. In a weird way, I was excited to feel it again, but thought, “How could I get up the nerve to even hint that I wanted to do it?”
Summer vacation was slowly slipping away now, and at first, I did stay from the game room, continuing to have conflicting thoughts about what had happened. Eventually though, I found myself wanting to hang out up there again, and when I was up there, I tried to stay away from John, but felt, “He must be looking for an opening,” wanting to talk, hoping to convince me to have sex again. Eventually, I noticed that John was taking other boys out for what I suspected was lunch or breakfast, obviously trying to convince them to go to his apartment to have sex. I tried to ignore it, but in a weird way, I was becoming a little jealous, wanting the attention too, even though I knew what was going to ultimately happen when and if, he got me to go to his apartment.
John and I already had a connection, being we had done it before, and because I knew where he lived, and being it was close to my house, it was easy to go see him, which is the reason why he moved closer in the first place. Eventually, the need to be with him again was overpowering, especially knowing he was looking to move on with other young boys, and not wanting to lose the chance, I approached him one day.
We had continued to be very friendly, and even though he felt that I had decided to not to have sex with him again, I think it surprised him when I happened to go up to him one day and excitedly say,”Hi!”
He was cordial and after cautiously replying, “Hi” too, he asked, “How’s it going?”
At first, I don’t think he realized what I was wanting, but when I told him, “Everything was good,” there was a pause, but then John, sensing I just might want to talk, he asked, “Do you wanta go get something to eat?”
It was what I needed, but not wanting to appear too eager, I simply smile and said, “Sure!”
John smile too, and after telling me to wait a minute, he went over to one of the game room attendants to explain he was leaving. Turning and heading back to where I was standing, I could see he was smiling excitedly.
We quickly left, and in the car, we didn’t say anything for a minute or two, but I could see him continuing to glance over at me. I’m sure he knew I was nervous, because he turned, and trying to get up talking said, “It’s really nice to see you again.”
I know it was just a way to stimulate a conversation and when I told him, “It’s nice to see you too,” he reached his hand across, touching my thigh.
It made me look down and then as our eyes met, he smiled and said, “You should come over sometime.”
Seeing me nodding in agreement and that I was smiling, he looked twice, surprised a little. It made him smile too, and then as we pulled into the restaurant parking and we went inside, we ended up sitting in a familiar booth. I was nervous to be with him and after ordering something to eat, John boldly said, “I think about you a lot.”
I’m sure he was curious why I suddenly wanted to be with him again, and seeing me nervously smile, not saying anything, he needed to find out if I might be thinking about having sex with him. Yea, I had been thinking about having sex with him to the point where I was using a makeshift toy in my ass, wanting to feel it again.
I could see he was searching for what to say, wondering if he could persuade me to go with him again, which made me smile, but right now, it wouldn’t take much. I had already decided I wanted to be with him again, and all I needed was for him to suggest it, and basically he did by telling me, “You should come over.”
Again, we only made small talk and after we finished eating, there was an awkward pause. John eventually suggested we should go, and in the car, he again asked, “Would you like to come by my place sometime?”
“Of course,” I had thought about it, but reluctant to commit, I didn’t answer him right away.
However, John impatiently suggested, “Come on, it’ll be nice to have you visit again,” and then continued by telling me, “Don’t worry, I won’t try anything.”
I don’t think he actually realized I was wanting to have sex with him again, however when I turned to look at him I simply said, “Okay.”
Hearing that I’d like to come over, I think aroused him a little and not wanting to appear over anxious, he paused and then asked, “Do you wanta go over there now?”
I was hesitant, I knew what he wanted, I wanted it too, and after a few second he again said, “Come on, it’s okay.”
Smiling, I wholeheartedly said, “Okay,” which made him cautiously asked, “Are you sure?”
“Yea, of course I was sure,” I thought, but not wanting to appear overly anxious too, I again simply said, “Yea.”
It again made him smile and as we headed toward his apartment, we didn’t say anything but then he again said, “I’m really glad you wanta come over.”
He was still wanting to see if he had a chance to get me in bed again, and when he subtly reached over and put his hand on my leg, I instinctively looked down at his hand. I could see John repeatedly glancing over, and it only took me a minute, but, I eventually put my hand on his.
I really wanted him to know that I wanted to be with him, and it did make him look over at my hand on his, and sensing him smiling, I nervously didn’t look up. John then gave my thigh a little squeeze, obviously signaling he knew why I was willing to go with him, but then suddenly, he took his hand off my thigh.
My hand had slid off too, and as I rested on the seat, I worried, but then he confidently looked over and said, “Okay, we’ll be there soon.”
It made me again smile shyly, and it really didn’t take long before we were pulling into his apartment complex, and as he quickly parked out front of his building, and we got out, John said, “Here we are.”
Hurrying us inside, I was super nervous and when he put his hand on my back, guiding me to go in, he quickly closed the door behind us. Looking at me, he smiled and said, “Let’s go over there,” motioning toward the living room.
I think he was a little nervous now too, obviously wanting it to go well, I know I did, and as we sat down, John again said, “It’s really nice to be with you again.”
Moving closer, taking the lead, he again put his hand on my leg. Looking at each other for a moment, he asked, “Can I get you anything?”
Looking up at him, I simply said, “No,” and after a few seconds, John again said, “Well, I’m glad you wanted to come over.”
Not knowing what to say, I simply sat there and when he scooted closer, putting his hand on my thigh, I looked over at him. He was smiling and looking at each other he asked, “What do you want to do?”
I was confused, I thought he knew, but now I wasn’t sure, however when he said, “I’ve thought about being with you,” I was relieved he had got the message.
Knowing what I was about to agree to, made me nervous, and looking over at him, I politely smiled and before I could say anything he leaned toward me and said, “Close your eyes.”
I was hesitant, but seeing that he meant it, I nervously closed them, and when I felt him lean toward me even more, I instinctively open my eyes. I was nervous what he was going to do, figuring he was going to kiss me. However, John leaned away slightly, and as we looked at each other he said, “Don’t worry.”
Nervously, I looked down, I didn’t want to consider what he wanted to do, however when he lifted my chin and we looked at each other, he again told me, “Close your eyes.”
Continuing to smile shyly, I nervously said, “I’m scared.”
It made him smile too and then say, “Now, you’re going to make me nervous too.”
He had turned to face me and putting both hands on my thighs, he leaned toward me and again whispered, “Close ‘em.”
Cautiously, I closed them and when he leaned on my thighs, and I felt his lips pressing against mine, I winced, closing my eyes even tighter. It was only for a second or two, and when our lips parted, and I opened my eyes, he was smiling as we looked at each other.
Seeing I was nervous, John said, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Immediately I again told him I was nervous, which made him smile, and after a few seconds he said, “Don’t worry.”
He was still leaning toward me and seeing me continuing to smile, he again told me to close my eyes, giving my thighs a gently squeeze.
Nervously, closing them, I felt him lips touching mine, as he kissed me again. I really felt it wasn’t right to be kissing a guy, never thinking I would. However, as he continued to kiss me a couple more times, it felt like he was opening his mouth, and trying to push his tongue into mine.
Immediately, it made me open my eyes, and pull away, scared. Looking at him, I’m sure he knew it was making me nervous and then after a pause he said, “You’re a good kisser.”
I think he was merely trying to make light of it, trying put my mind at ease, trying to tell me it was okay.
Instinctively, I nervously looked down, and without looking at me, he casually reached over, to feel on my chest. I didn’t think anything of it, until he slid his hand down to my crotch. Embarrassingly, I was hard,and when he felt it, he again leaned in, trying to give me a kiss.
I was still scared to kiss him, however as he again told me, “Close your eyes,” I smiled and closing them, our lips again met.
I kept my eyes shut tight, and as he excitedly groped on my crotch, he again opened his mouth, pushing his tongue into mine. He eventually told me, “Open your mouth,” and as I did, letting his tongue in, he turned his head slightly, pushing his tongue further into my mouth.
After a minute or so, our lips eventually parted, and as we looked at each other, John smiled and pulling me close he passionately said, “That was really nice.”
Smiling too, I didn’t say anything, but feeling myself blush, I looked down at his hand on my crotch. John had scooted away a little, and moving his hand to my thigh, John suddenly asked, “Do you want to go to my bedroom.”
Looking at him nervously, not saying anything, he said, “Come on,” gesturing for me to stand.
Eventually, we both stood, and as I looked around, he again put his hand on my back, guiding me toward a short hallway at the back of his apartment.
His bedroom was dark and as we went through the door, I became so nervous, and as he continued to guide me into his bedroom, I immediately, noticed a tube of KY conveniently laying on the night stand.
Briefly glancing back as John continued to move us closer to the bed, he suddenly stopped, and then turning me, we looked at each other, and smiling he again said, “Close your eyes.”
Smiling nervously, I again closed them, and when he kissed me, immediately pushing his tongue in my mouth, I again winced. It still felt it wasn’t right to be kissed another guy but feeling a need to reciprocate, I gingerly putting my tongue in his mouth too.
It seemed to elevate the experience for both of us, especially with him feeling on my crotch, and being it was open mouth, letting our tongues touch. I tried to prepare myself, and continued to think, “I wanted this,” as we kissed.
John then took my hand, and as he moved it to feel on his crotch, I pulled away, and opening my eyes, I looked down. He was smiling but then seeing I was looking down, he immediately tried to undid my pants.
Smiling to myself as he got them undone, letting them fall to the floor, he quickly moved to feel on my crotch with both hands. As we stood there, looking at each other, John eagerly reached down the front of my boxers.
Feeling my cock and how hard I was, seemed to excite him, and when he eventually pulled down my boxers, and my cock flopped out, he immediately went down to his knee.
Looking up at me, smiling as he felt on it he said, “I’ve missed this.”
Holding it out, he immediately took it in his mouth and as I looked down , I could see his eyes where closed. Watching him sucking my dick and feeling him fondling my balls, I ended up looking toward the ceiling, with my eyes closed too.
I tried to relish the moment, and thinking about when he sucked me the first time, I wanted to cum. It really felt good and after he pulled my underwear down the rest of the way, he had me step out of them. Continuing to feel on my hard cock, he stood up, and looking at each other he asked, “How was that?”
It made me smile shyly, and when I nodded and told him, “It felt good,” he smiled and casually wiping his mouth, he again kissed me.
John immediately took off my shirt and after slipping it over my head, and tossing it aside, he took off his shirt too. Looking at each other, he took my hand, and as he placed it on his crotch, I couldn’t help but looked down.
I could feel he was hard and as he had me rub his cock though his pants he ask, “What do you think?”
I didn’t know what to think, but he felt big, and as we looked at each other, he undid his pants, casually inching them down, making sure he grabbed his underwear too.
Desperately wanting to see his cock, being I had never seen it, I continued to look down, and then as he stood up, I saw it.
“Oh my god,” I thought, “he’s big.”
Embarrassingly, I looked up. His dick really looked to be so big, definitely much bigger than mine, and being I was curious, I simply smiled at him. I wanted to look back down again, and when he took it in his hand, I did just that.
He was circumcised, but I couldn’t get over how thick it looked, and as he pulled and rubbed it, it seemed to be kind of long too. Continuing to look at it, I thought, “Maybe it’s because he was much older, or maybe it’s his dark skin and tangled dark pubic hair that made him look so much bigger,” in either way, I couldn’t help but smile timidly.
Instinctively, I looked up, not wanting to appear to be staring, and when I saw him smiling, seeing I was watching, I smiled too. He continued to rub and pull it, and then as he let it go and he took my hand, I looked down to see what he was doing.
John then put my hand on his cock, and having me wrap my fingers around it, I felt just how big he really was. Nervously, I looked up, never having touched another guy’s cock before, and yea it was weird to think about, but when had made me rub it up and down, I anxiously looked down.
I remember his dark skin and his tangled pubic hair that reached up his stomach, and as he continued to have me rub his cock, it really felt thick and veiny, especially as his cock grew harder.
Again, I looked up at him, because it was starting to turn me on, and the thought of feeling him in me again, made me shyly look away. John was smiling and again asked, “What do you think?”
Nervously, I looked down at it and smiling I shyly blurting out, “You’re big,” and again looked up at him.
John nodded, and then after giving me a simple little kiss, he subtly turned me to face the bed. It made me glance back at him, wondering what he was going to do, and when he pushed me forward, until I was leaning over the end of the bed, I rested on my forearms.
He now leaned up further, and when I felt his hard cock pressing against me, I smiled in anticipation. However, he was merely grabbing a handful of the covers, and as I watched, he simply pulled them down.
Leaning back up, he pulled them down a little more and as he he let them go, he put his hands on my back. He eventually started feeling on my back, which made me smile and when he again pressed his hard cock against my ass, and his hands eventually made their way down, feeling on my ass, I became anxious.
John seemed anxious too, and when he spread my ass cheeks, and then leaned away, wanting to see my butthole, he boldly remarked, “Mmmmmm, I want to be in you.”
Smiling, I told myself, “I wanted that too,” but not wanting to appear too willing, I didn’t say anything.
He again spread my ass cheeks and then leaning against me, pushing his hard cock into my crack, grinding it up and down, he excitedly said, “Why don’t you get on the bed.”
Looking back briefly, I smiled and then as I climbed up on the bed, John got on too. I wanted to feel him in me, I had been thinking about it, and as he spread my legs, again pressed his cock against my crack, I pushed back too, letting him know I was ready.
I knew it was going to hurt, but I wanted to feel it again, and after a few seconds, John leaned back, telling me, “Move up.”
Smiling to myself, as he moved between my legs, he reached over me, and grabbing a pillow, he again made sure to press his cock against my ass.
Placing the pillow in front of me like before, he leaned back again, and when I put my head down on it, I excitedly wrapped my hands under, grabbing it and turning my head to the side.
Again, I knew I was in a compromising position with my ass in the air and my ass cheeks spread slightly, but I didn’t care. Feeling on my ass, John now asked, “Are you comfortable?”
Simply nodding, I replied , “I’m okay.”
Hearing this, John reached under me, and as he briefly fondling my cock, I thought, “Oh Yea.”
I was hard, and I did like him feeling on my cock, but after a minute or so, he leaned to the side, grabbing the tube of lube off the nightstand. Sitting back up, he immediately flipped it open and hearing him squeeze a good amount out onto his hand, I tried to glance back, wanting to watch. He seemed to be slathering some on his cock, I turned back, waiting.
John then shift a little, getting more comfortable and when he tossed to tube of KY on the bed, it made me look over. Immediately though, John spread my one ass cheek, and when he touched my butthole, I tensed up, as he dabbed and smeared some on it.
Wiggling a little, it made me anxious to have him pushing into me again, and when he started to finger my ass, I tried to relax. “Mmmm,” it did feel good having his finger in me, which made me instinctively leaned up and looked back.
Looking at me, he stopped, and then gently rubbing my ass he said, “Just relax.”
I knew it was still going to hurt, but, “I was ready,” or at least I thought I was and then after taking a deep breath, I again put my head down.
John briefly pushed his finger in me again, and then moving closer, he spread my legs a little more. I knew what was coming next, and as he now gently started wiping the head of his cock into my crack, I smiled in anticipation.
Again, spreading my ass with his free hand, he immediately pressed the head of his cock against my hole, and then leaning forward, continuing to tease my tight little hole, he seductively whispered, “I wanta be in you.”
I wanted to feel him in me too, and feeling my my butthole quiver a little, I pulled the pillow closer, trying to get comfortable. John eventually leaned away, and again said, “Relax, okay?”
Immediately, I felt the pressure of him pushing into me and when I rock back, trying to help, he remarked, “You’re really tight.”
It made me smile, but as soon as he pushed into me more, it hurt. I tried to relax, I tried to let his cock into me, but it hurt so bad I couldn’t help but reach back, pushing on his thigh.
Trying to pull away, John quickly grabbed my hips, and holding me, making me stop moving, he again told me to relax. The head of his cock felt so big as he pushed it into me, and when he pushed in more, I lifted up.
He had to know it hurt because he seemed to struggle too. Eventually, he stopped and when he pulled out, I smiled and took a deep breath. John again felt on my ass again, and when he said, “Try to relax,” I knew he was going to try again.
Taking another deep breath, I put my head down again, and desperately tried to relax.
Feeling him put the head of his cock against my puckered little hole again, I tried to push out as he pushed in. At first it was okay, because he simply pushed in a little and pulled out, trying to go slow. Suddenly though as he pushed in further, it immediately hurt. I tried to accept it but thought, “Oh my god, I can’t do it.”
Feeling me try to pull away again, he held me, not letting me move. He was in me, but only a little way, and then grabbing my shoulders, he told me, “Relax.”
I nodded, but John then suddenly pulled me back toward him, pushing into me more. He was trying to force his cock in my ass, which again made me try to pull away. It hurt so bad, and when I raised up, he pushed me flat on my stomach telling me, “Stop!”
Holding me down and leaning into me, he told me to relax, but it really hurt, and I continued to try to wiggle free, but I couldn’t. He did stop briefly and the pain did subside,and when I stop struggling, John immediately started trying to fuck me.
Laying on my stomach, the pain subsided and it actually started feeling kind of good. John again stopped and asked, “Are you okay?”
Nodding and mumbling, “It’s okay,” he pulled me back up to my knees.
I needed to let him fuck me, and it really was okay, but occasionally, when he’d push deep into me, I did reach back to push on his thigh. I tried to block out the pain besti could, and as he started to move his cock, in and out of me, he leaned forward and seductively said, “Take it.”
As he leaned back, I immediately asked him, “Go slow.”
Agreeing, he felt on my back and my ass, and when he eventually pushed on my back, making me keep my head down, I told myself, “I wanted to feel him in me.”
I had been thinking about it, but right now, I just closed my eyes, and tried to accept it. I’m sure he still sensed it was hurting now and then, because he stopped, and asked, “How are you doing?”
Again, I was glad he decided to take a break, because when he did stop, the hurting went away. I wanted him to cum and when he again started fucking me, and his thrusts became faster and more deliberate, he felt so big in me.
Feeling on my ass, and spreading my ass cheeks slightly, it was obvious he was looking to see my butthole prolapse as his cock went in and out. I could feel it too, and I’m sure it was a turn, because I felt he was going to cum.
Knowing he might be close, I tried to help by moving back and forth too, but he suddenly stop, pulled me close, and holding me, he said, “Turn your head.”
Smiling, he reached around, and turning my head, he kissed me. It was open mouth and as his tongue pushing into my mouth, he again started fucking me.
It was awkward and his thrusting into me were immediately more vigorous and more deliberate. I knew he was trying to cum, and then without saying anything, he leaned back up, grabbed my hips, and breathing hard, he started bucking his hips, fucking me faster.
I wanted to feel him cum, and when I tried to move back and forth, helping, he pushed down on my back, trying to get us in a better position. It was obvious he wanted to cum too and when his breathing became more and more labored and he started working his cock more at the tight opening of my butthole, I knew he had to be close.
It excited me, and when he tried to push deep a couple times, he whispered in an out of breath voice, “I’m gonna cum.”
Trying to relax, John pulled me closer, and when I pushed back, bracing myself, he push in as much as he could. “Yea,” it hurt, and I did pull away slightly, but continuing to hold me he sternly said, “Stop!”
“Oh yea,” I thought, “he must be cumming.”
Stopping and trying to relax, I felt his cock pulsating inside me. It made me smile to myself, to know his cum was spilling out inside me.
Feeling his warm cum inside me, I push back and after John gave a few short thrust, he again stopped and pulled out. I was relieved he was done, but as I felt him squeezing the last little bit of cum out on my ass, I suddenly felt his cum leaking out of me. It made me move a little and trying to squeeze my ass cheeks together, I unintentionally farted.
Feeling more cum bubble out was embarrassing, especially when I felt John spread my ass, wanting to see. I knew my butthole was gaping, I could feel it, and when I again tried to squeeze my ass cheeks, John pulled me close. He was still out of breath and when he again rubbed my ass he said, “That was great.”
I couldn’t help but smile to myself, but as cum trickled down, and dripped off my balls, John grabbed his semi hard cock and tried to push it back in me.
I knew he was done, he had to be, but as the he pushed the head of his cock into me again and it slipped back in, I arched back thinking, “Oh my god, yea!”
I wanted him back in me, and when he again started to vigorously try to fuck me, it seemed like he was trying to cum again. I wasn’t sure if I should try to help, but suddenly he stopped and again pulled out and laid next to me. He was out of breath, but was smiling, and seeing his face was flushed, I realized he was obviously as satisfied as I was.
Telling me to lay down, he put his hand on my back and when he moving to face me he said, “Thanks.”
It again made me smile and when I leaned on my side to face him, I looked down. He was feeling on his cock, and even though it was limp, I had thoughts about wanting to suck him.
I’m sure he could see that I was looking and when he let go and we looked at each other, John glanced down briefly and then looking back up, asking, “Did you like that.“
Smiling, feeling a little embarrassed, John leaned toward me, giving me a side hug. Looking at me, he smiled and when I said, “I think I need to use the bathroom” there was a pause, but seeing I was concerned, he agreed.
John quickly rolled off the bed, and when I slid off too, we ended up standing by each other. John was smiling and then casually put his hand on my back he told me, “I’m going to use this one,” point to the back, and then said, “Why don’t you use the one out there.”
Smiling, I hurried out of the room, and going straight into the bathroom, I closed the door. I used some tissues to not only wipe my ass but also to wipe the cum off my cock and balls. Immediately, I sat down on the toilet, and knowing there was still cum in me I strained to push out whatever cum and KY was still in me.
This time, I didn’t worry so much about him having cum in me, I was more worried about wanting to get back to the bedroom, knowing, he was probably there waiting. Smiling to myself, and after peeing, I wiped my ass again, and standing up, I instinctively looked into the toilet, wanting to see.
Just like last time, there was some white stuff floating amongst the tissue paper, and again seeing that some had sank to the bottom, I smiled. I knew his sperm was still in me and after quickly flushing, and putting the seat down, I hurrying back to the bedroom.
Going through the bedroom door, there he was. He was sitting on the end of the bed, waiting, but immediately standing up, he walked toward me and asked, “Are you okay?
Smiling I simply told him, “Yea,” and after standing there for a moment, John then put his hand on my waist, moving us back over to the bed. Sitting down, he looking at me, and then pushed me to lay back. Laying back and moving up, so my legs weren’t dangling over the end, John immediately climbed on the bed too.
Again as we looked at each other, he told me, “It’s really nice to be with you again.”
I didn’t respond, I didn’t know what to say, but he eventually leaned toward me giving me a kiss.
It was obvious he was thinking about something and after a few seconds, he asked, “What do you want to do?”
I was hesitant, but as I looked down, John casually laid back. He then took hold of his semi hard cock, and watching intently, he started pulling and stroking it. I wanted to feel it, and he had to know, because as I continued to look down, watching he said, “Give me your hand.”
Looking up, he reached for my hand and then as he again placed it around his cock, and started having me rub it, I again had thoughts about going down on him. See I was nervous, he asked, You’ve never done this before, right?”
Looking over at him, I didn’t say anything, but he was smiling and then he asked, “Do you wanta to suck it?”
It was obvious he knew what I was thinking, and yea, I had wondered what it would be like to actually suck a guy’s cock, but I was scared to do it.
I tried to focus on just stroking it, not really sure what I wanted to do. Seeing I wasn’t willing to go down on him, John casually moved his one hand to the back of my head. Looking up at him as he shifted a little, he smiled and then pushed my head down, trying to indicate he wanted me to.
I continued to be scared to do it, but as my head got close to his cock, and he took hold of it, he told me, “Open your mouth.”
Thinking about having his cock in my mouth was intimating, but it was tempting too, and when it touched my lips, I closed my eyes, letting him put it in my mouth.
Feeling the head of his cock in my mouth was weird but it was a turn on too. I couldn’t believe what I was doing and as John put both of his hands on my head and said, “That’s it,” I glanced up.
He had his eyes closed and when he made my head slowly move up and down, and the head of his cock went in and out of my mouth, I thought, “What if he cums?”
I didn’t really think he could, but it was in the back of my mind and yea, in a way, I did want to taste it. He was hard now, and after forcing my head down, causing me to gag a little, John suddenly stopped and said, “Oh yea, you’ve gotta stop.”
Figuring that, “Yea, he was probably going to cum,” I looked up at him, letting his cock drop out of my mouth.
John grabbed my shoulders and pulling me back up , he smiled and said, “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
When I didn’t say anything, he continued by semi jokingly saying, “Well, you’re really good at it.”
It did make me smile shyly, and as he gave me a kiss, I could see he was againthinking about something. He continued to look at me for a moment, and then leaning away, he looked down. It made me a little self conscious, feeling he was probably looking at my cock, but then looking up at me again he asked,”You’ve never,” but before finishing his thought he stopped.
Looking at each other I was curious and when I said, “What?” John smiled and said, “You’ve never, fucked anyone before, have you?”
He already knew the answer, but I think he wanted me to think about it, but the comment, made me hesitate to answer. Seeing that the wheels were turning, and figuring that he’d be my first, he felt on my thighs.
Eventually, I told him, “No,” and when he heard this, John immediately asked, “Do you wanta try it?”
Again, I was hesitant to answer but thought, “Yea, I want to.”
Smiling, I had an idea what to do, but as I looked at him, I started to have second thoughts about whether I could actually do it, and thought of being in him, made me worry.
He was so much older and more experienced, and feeling I might disappoint him, I didn’t say anything. John however smiled, and as we looked at each other he again asked, “So you wanta try it?”
Telling him, “I don’t know,” seemed to make him question it, and eventually John said, “It’s okay, don’t worry,” and then said, “Maybe another time.”
It did make me smile, relieved he was okay with me not wanting to do, and after letting out a big exhale, John stood up and again said, “Don’t worry.”
Again, I didn’t say anything, but after a few seconds he asked, “You wanta spend the night?”
Thinking about it for a minute, I wasn’t sure if I should and when he said, “I understand if you don’t want to.”
I hesitated, I wanted to stay and considered it, but feeling my parents would probably worry, I said, “I better not.”
It was starting to get late and as we got dressed, John said, “Why don’t you come by tomorrow,” and then said, “If you want to.”
It made me smile, but being nervous I simply said, “Maybe.”
He seemed to be okay with that, and after he took me home, I couldn’t help but think, “Am I gay.”
I liked having sex, I liked the feel, I didn’t want to think I might be gay, but being at that time, John was the only person to have sex with me, I was troubled.
Again, I tried to stay away from John, but wanting to be with him was always in the back of my mind, probably because he was the only one to ever have sex with me.
Yes, I’ve had sex with several girls since then, but continually feel I have to convince myself I’m not gay, telling myself, “It was only a one time thing.” However, the thought of having someone actually fucking me, whether it’s another guy or a transsexual is constantly in my thoughts, even when I’m having sex with girls.