A gay story: Beyond the Bruises Ch. 04 Hello !
I’d like to thank neuroparenthetical for his help in editing this chapter !
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I woke up sore from the previous night. Struggling out of bed, I carefully walked to my bathroom, where I took off my shirt and assessed the damage. I had three major bruises covering a big chunk of my stomach and chest, but fortunately, nothing more visible. Dad was smart enough not to leave marks that couldn’t be easily covered by clothes. Stepping into the shower, I turned on the hot water and soaped myself gently, trying to avoid aggravating my injuries. Even the slightest touch was painful. I had PE class later that day, but I knew there was no way I could attend it in such a state. I considered skipping it, though it wouldn’t make my life any easier. I knew Dad would understand why, but school would be another story.
Panicking, I suddenly remembered Colt. I wasn’t ready to face him, and worried how he might react if he saw my injuries. I decided to avoid him by taking a detour on my way home, even though it meant a longer walk.
The day at school was uneventful, as I managed to stay invisible and avoided any confrontation. I focused on listening in class, and whenever I had to move through the hallways, I stayed close to the walls, trying not to draw attention. I had to disappear for a couple of hours during gym class, but other than that, everything went well.
On my way back home, I took the detour I’d planned, ensuring I wouldn’t run into Colt. I wasn’t ready to see him or anyone else. Avoidance seemed like the only way to handle things for the time being.
Instead of heading straight home, I decided to visit the animal shelter to check on Lucky and the other animals. Spending time with them always brought me a sense of comfort, and it was a much-needed escape from the troubles at home and at school.
I spent the next hour at the animal shelter, taking care of the various animals as part of my volunteer duties. I started by cleaning the cat area, making sure their litter boxes were fresh and their food bowls were filled. I loved the sound of their purrs as I gave them some gentle pets and scratches behind their ears. It made the pain I was feeling disappear- or at least lessen a little.
Moving on to the smaller critters, I checked on the hamsters and guinea pigs, ensuring their cages were clean and that they had enough food and water. It was heartwarming to see them scurrying around, seemingly happy and content.
Finally, it was time to visit the dogs. As I approached the kennels, my heart skipped a beat, and my mind went straight to one furry friend – Lucky.
“Lucky!” I called out softly, and the beautiful mixed breed turned towards me, wagging his tail with excitement. Despite the hardships he had endured, he had an unwavering spirit, and I couldn’t help but admire his resilience.
Carefully, I opened Lucky’s kennel door and stepped inside. His tail wagged even faster as I crouched down to his level. “Hey, buddy,” I said with a warm smile, gently rubbing his ears. Lucky leaned into my touch, his eyes filled with trust and appreciation.
I noticed his paw still in a cast, a reminder of the abuse he had suffered in the past. It broke my heart to think of what he must have gone through, but I was determined to make his life better.
“You’re such a good boy,” I murmured, speaking softly, as if to reassure him. “Don’t worry Lucky, you might be a little broken right now, but you will still find someone that loves you and wants to take care of you… Right?” I felt a tear forming in my eye.
I spent a good hour with Lucky alone. It wasn’t even nearly enough, but I still had homework to do, so I finished a couple more tasks before making my way back home. Once there, I immediately went to my room and didn’t come out. I spent my time studying and relaxing, trying not to make the pain worse. I managed to continue like that for the next two days, avoiding people at school and at home. But on the third day, as I was on my way back from school, taking the usual detour, I heard someone call my name behind me.
“Scott!”
I instantly recognized the voice to be Colt’s, so I pretended not to hear it and started walking faster. My head was a mess at that point; I was scared that he’d seen me and nervous about what might happen. I was focused on running away from him, so I didn’t hear his rapid footsteps getting closer, and I only noticed his nearness when he put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around. I winced in pain from the sudden movement.
“Scott!” said Colt, finally catching up to me. “You’re a difficult man to find! I didn’t see you in your secret place, nor did I see you walking home from school the last couple of days.”
“Yeah, I take this road now; it’s safer.”
“OK, well, I don’t doubt that; there’s nobody around. I only got lucky and saw you leave school, so I followed after you.”
“OK, cool. I have to get going, lots of homework and stuff, so bye.” I turned around, trying to make a quick exit.
“Wait, I wanted to talk with you!” said Colt from behind me, grabbing my shoulder again and turning me around once more. That time, he was a bit more forceful, and I couldn’t help the little groan of pain that escaped my lips, which he noticed. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I replied while walking away once more. “I’m just not interested in hooking up right now.”
This is not good, he’s going to figure it out. I need to quickly get away.
“Yeah, no, me neither. I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I hope you didn’t get into much trouble with your dad.”
“No, we’re cool,” I quickly replied. “I’ll see you around, I guess.” I was trying to keep the conversation as short as possible so I could leave the awkward situation, but he wasn’t making it easy.
“Wait!” he shouted, catching up to me again as I had begun to walk away. “You okay? You seem weird.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m trying to talk to you.” He was persistent, and once again, he tried to make me face him. That time I resisted a little, but it was no use. He stepped closer to me and easily grabbed my arms, which were in front of my chest, protecting it. He pulled them above my head with one hand. I tried to fight back, but even one-handed he was stronger than me. With his other hand, he lifted up my shirt, revealing the bruises I was trying so hard to hide.
“What the hell?!” I yelled. I took advantage of the moment he saw my injuries; the shock made him lose focus, and I was able to free myself from his grasp. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Scott, this is not a fall injury,” he said with a very serious look on his face. “Who did this to you?”
“What are you talking about? I told you I fell..”
“Don’t! Tell me who did this. Did someone at school do this to you?”
I puffed at that thought, offended that he thought anyone at school could hand me such a beating. Colt registered it, taking it as a no.
“Wait, did your dad do this? Because you were caught on private property?”
“I told you I fell,” I replied-but maybe a little bit too quickly and loudly, making it obvious to Colt that I was lying, and that he’d hit a sore spot.
“Fuck. That’s not right.We need to go to the sheriff’s station to report him.”
“Report what? I told you I fell.”
“No, you didn’t. Those are clearly injuries from being hit. Your dad did this to you, and we’re going to have him arrested.”
He didn’t even wait for my reply. He grabbed my arm and started dragging me away. I tried to resist, but he was much stronger than me, and I couldn’t escape his grip. Once again, I felt so powerless. I couldn’t do anything, and it wasn’t a feeling I wanted to feel because of Colt, so tears pooled at my eyes. He was holding my bicep strongly, and it started to hurt.
“Colt, you’re hurting me,” I told him, but he didn’t seem to care. He was only focused on taking me away. Anger started bubbling inside me, and before I even realized what I was doing, my fist flew toward Colt and made contact with his face. I had just punched him. He released his grip on me and fell on his ass on the ground. Even though I was angry, I don’t think I punched him that hard, so I think it was more the shock of it than the actual punch that made him fall.
“I told you, you’re hurting me!” I yelled at Colt. “Don’t pretend like you know something, because you don’t. Everything is easy for you. You’re the amazing pitcher, everybody loves you, and I’m sure you’re used to getting what you want. Well, life isn’t like that for everybody.”
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and Colt was still on the ground, his hand where I had punched him, still in shock.
“You just take what you want, not thinking about anybody else but yourself. I told you it was private property and we shouldn’t be there, but no, you made us go anyway. You probably knew nobody would tell you anything since they all love you because you make the baseball team win. I told you I had to study, but you wanted to have sex. So we did. I told you I was scared, but you took my virginity anyway. It felt good, but you didn’t check if I was okay, you just left.”
I paused, trying to catch my breath, my anger boiling inside me.
“What are you doing here anyway? You already fucked me, you can move on. Or what, you want to throw me a pity fuck? Because I’m the only gay kid in school, you feel bad for me? Well, I don’t need your pity. I was doing just fine before I met you. I managed, and I had a plan. Study, get good grades, get a scholarship, and get the hell out of this town.”
The tears had stopped, sadness being replaced with anger. I paced in front of him while he just stayed on the ground, silently watching me as I continued ranting.
“That probably never occurred to you, though. I’m sure you have baseball scholarships being offered to you by at least half the colleges in the country. And even if you didn’t, your rich parents would probably pay for it anyway. Well, it’s not like that for everyone. I don’t have anybody who can pay my tuition, so I need a scholarship to get out of here. But today I got my physics results, and I had a B-. B- doesn’t get you grants. I was unfocused and unprepared because of you. Have you ever thought about that? Did that cross your mind that I was studying for a good reason? Probably not.”
I panted, having said everything quickly and louder than I wanted.
“My dad was right anyway, I’m just your cumdump. Well, not anymore. Just pretend you don’t know me, because you don’t. Leave me the fuck alone.”
With that, I turned around and ran to my house, tears starting to fall down my cheeks once again. I left Colt there on the ground. He didn’t say anything, and I didn’t want him to. I just wanted to forget about him.
After running home, tears still streaming down my cheeks, I found solace in the familiar comfort of my room. I closed the door behind me, needing the sanctuary of four walls to contain the emotional storm raging within. Collapsing onto my bed, I let out a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.
I didn’t want to think about Colt-about what had happened between us. The pain and anger were still fresh, and I needed time to process everything. With a heavy sigh, I decided to distract myself by diving into my homework. I opened my textbooks, trying to concentrate on the equations and words in front of me, but my mind kept drifting back to the encounter with Colt.
Eventually, I gave up on my studies, feeling too emotionally drained to focus. I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the events of the day over and over in my mind. The hurt and confusion were still overwhelming, but underneath it all, there was a glimmer of hope that things could somehow change.
The next morning, I woke up with a mix of emotions still swirling within me. Part of me wanted to stay home-to avoid facing anyone-but I knew I couldn’t hide forever. So, with a heavy heart, I got ready for school, putting on a brave face even though I felt anything but brave.
At school, I tried to keep to myself, avoiding eye contact with others and burying my emotions deep inside. The classes went by in a blur, and I found myself going through the motions, mechanically taking notes and completing assignments.
During lunchtime, I sought refuge in a quiet corner of the cafeteria, eating alone and observing the bustling crowd around me. Everyone seemed so carefree, laughing and chatting with their friends, while I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
As the final bell rang, I made my way to my secret spot in the woods, hoping that spending time in nature would help ease the turmoil within me. The familiar path calmed my nerves, and by the time I reached the clearing, I felt a sense of peace wash over me.
I settled down in my usual spot, opening my sketchbook and letting my pencil glide across the paper. Drawing was my way of expressing myself-of releasing the pent-up emotions that threatened to overwhelm me. With each stroke of the pencil, I felt a tiny sense of relief, as if a small part of the weight on my chest was lifting.
The sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the trees, and I allowed myself to get lost in the beauty of the moment. Despite everything that had happened, I felt a flicker of hope within me-a belief that I could find a way through the darkness. That flicker didn’t last long, as I heard the rustling of leaves next to me, and saw the familiar figure of Colt emerging through them.
Immediately, I felt anger raging through me, as I had made it clear to him I didn’t want to see him anymore. He probably could tell by looking at me I was about to snap at him again, because he put his hands up in a sign conveying he came in peace.
“Sorry,” he said. “I know you don’t want to see me, but I wanted to talk to you. You told me how you felt, and now it’s my turn to tell you what I feel. I promise it won’t take long, and after that, I will leave.”
I mulled it over in my head; glumly, I decided it was only fair that I heard him out since I’d ranted at him the day before without letting him speak. I also told myself that after he had his say, that would be that; we wouldn’t have any more reason to interact with each other at school or anywhere else. I softened my gaze and went back to my drawing; he understood it as a yes and came to sit with me. Unlike before, he didn’t sit right next to me, but in front of me. He knew I wouldn’t appreciate being so close to him.
“Thank you,” he started. “I’ve thought a lot about what I would say, because I’m not good at expressing myself, as you’ve guessed. I think it’s because my dad is a shrink, so I never have to say anything; he just figures everything out by looking at me.” He tried to joke, but I was not amused.
“First, I need to make something clear, because I don’t think you know. I’m gay. 100% gay. I have no interest in women. Never have, never will.”
My eyes went wide open; I hadn’t been expecting that. I’d figured he wasn’t completely straight since we had had sex a couple of times, but I’d assumed he was just a horny jock fucking anything he could before settling down with a nice girl. I never would have thought he was actually gay; he’d never made it seem like he was.
“I can tell by your face that that comes as a surprise-probably because I’m not out. My parents know I’m gay, and they’ve always been cool about it. I’m just not out in public because I’d like to play pro baseball. I work hard every day to be the best player I can, but there are no gay players in any major baseball leagues. I don’t want my sexuality to be an obstacle to making my dream come true. That’s why I keep it a secret.”
I could understand that. Even though I knew nothing about baseball, I heard other people talk. They said Colt was an amazing player, and if he continued on his current trajectory he would be able to join a big team.
“I wanted to make it clear to you because I don’t think you understood I was gay. Truth be told, I’ve been, let’s say, actively gay for the last couple of years. I’ve had to keep up appearances at school, with the occasional girlfriend and such, but I never enjoyed it. I never had a boyfriend or any sort of romantic relationship with a man because it would be too dangerous for my secret. It’s only ever been physical with men, and it worked for me-at least, until I met you.”
He paused, maybe waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t. I just stared at him and waited for him to continue.
“I guess men came easy to me; I never had to flirt or anything, they would almost throw themselves at me. Ever since I hit puberty, I’ve been told I was handsome, and with my constant working out in order to be a better pitcher, I developed a pretty good body. Everybody around me would tell me how sexy I was, and as you know, I’m also gifted down there, so I easily found guys to hook up with. Even supposedly straight guys would be all over me, and I guess it got in my head. I’m weak and pathetic, I know, but I acted like I was god’s gift to men.”
He marked another pause, that time burying his face in his hands, as if he were trying to hide his embarrassment.
“What does that have to do with me?” I asked coldly. “Are you saying I threw myself at you?”
“No! No!” he quickly interjected. “My point is, I became sort of a dominant douchebag in bed, where I would just use guys for my pleasure and toss them away, thinking they should be grateful to have had the chance to be with me. Don’t get me wrong; most guys were happy with that arrangement, but that’s not a reason to treat every man like that. When I moved here, I thought it would be the same. I would just wait a couple of weeks to get used to things and make sure I could keep my secret safe before I started turning guys. But that was before I saw you.”
He looked right into my eyes. His blue eyes sparkled as he took me in. I blushed from the sudden attention, but I was unable to look away.
“I met the baseball team first, as we started practice before the beginning of the school year. On the first day of school, I was with them, scanning the guys going in, trying to find my next hookups, when I saw you. You were walking quickly, your eyes looking at the ground, but you were so handsome. Just looking at you, I felt something different than I’d ever felt for any guy before. I just wanted to be near you all the time, to talk to you, to just bask in your presence. So I asked one of the guys who you were, and that’s when they told me about the rumor of you being gay, and I freaked out. I knew that if I were close to you, I wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings, and everybody would find out I’m gay. That’s why I decided to completely ignore you-pretend like you didn’t exist. I know, I’m a coward.”
“I was right, then. You avoided me.”
“Yes, and I’m so sorry about that. I’m a jerk, an idiot, whatever you want to call me. I tried forgetting about you and hooking up with other guys, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get you out of my head, but I made it work for several months. I got super horny, being used to having sex at least a couple of times a week in my previous school, and suddenly I wasn’t getting any. That’s why I started running more, trying to release all that pent-up tension. I don’t like running on made trails, so I set out to explore the woods around here, and that’s how I found this place. When I saw you, I was nervous at first, but then I thought this was the perfect place. It was just the two of us, with nobody around, and I could be with you here. Very selfish of me, I know. Anyway, we started talking, and you are even more amazing than I could have ever imagined.”
He had the biggest smile on his face, still looking at me, maintaining eye contact. I was embarrassed by what he was saying.
Did Colt also have a crush on me? That can’t be true. An amazing guy like him wouldn’t care about an ordinary guy like me.
“Usually with guys, I would top them, and that’s it. You are different. I want more with you. But it was so confusing and new to me, I knew I couldn’t have more, and I was also super horny. I’m not proud of how I acted with you. You are the sexiest man I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to have you. I’m sorry if I made you think I was only interested in you for sex. Sex is all I knew, and all I allowed myself to know. When we were alone at your house, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I had to have you. I should have been more attentive to your feelings; I’m so sorry about that. You were right; I was only thinking of myself, and for me, sex isn’t a big deal, but I should have known it is a big deal for you. I really care about you, and I should have made sure you were comfortable. I shouldn’t have forced myself on you.”
“You didn’t force yourself on me,” I quickly intervened. “I also wanted it. I was just stuck in a fantasy where my first time had to be more special, but that doesn’t happen.”
“It should have been special. You deserved to have the first time you wanted, and I’m sorry I took that from you. And I know you wanted me to leave you alone, but I’m sorry. I can’t do that-first, because I know what your father did to you, and I’m not going to rest until you are safe.”
“Nothing happened,” I said. “It’s not your concern.”
“I looked into it,” he replied, “and unfortunately, I can’t force you. Since you’re 18, I can’t call Child Protective Services, and only you can file a lawsuit with the police. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to sit by and do nothing; I’m here for you, and when you’re ready, I’ll be here to help you. In the meantime, I think you should talk to my dad; he is a psychologist, and he could help you.”
“What did you say to your dad?” I almost yelled, my eyes red with anger.
“Nothing yet. But you should go see him.”
“I’m fine. I told you.”
I saw Colt clench his teeth. He was trying very hard to stay calm.
“Alright,” he said, puffing out. “Secondly, I’m not going to leave you alone because I like you. From the moment I first saw you, I was crazy about you. Then I found out you were not only handsome and sexy but also smart, funny, and nice. I want to be your friend, and I’m going to use all the charm I have to win you over, because I want you to be my boyfriend.”
“Wha… I, no … what are you talking about?” I mumbled, shocked by his direct approachdeclaration. “You’re you, and I’m me. You don’t want me to be your boyfriend. Stop.”
“Yes, I do. I want you, Scott.”
He seemed sincere, and he had a serious look in his eyes, but I had a hard time believing him. More likely, I judged, it was another plot to get into my pants.
“How can I believe you?” I demanded. “How can I be sure it’s true and not just some line you use on guys to get them into bed? After all, you said it yourself: you just use guys how you want, then leave them.”
“You’re right. I have given you no reason to trust me yet. All I can say is, that first time I met you here, if it were any other guy I would have had him bent over that table and my dick in his ass in less than thirty minutes. But since it was you, I held myself back and actually talked to you because I wanted to know more about you. Not just have sex with you.”
“That’s it? I should applaud you because you were able to not have sex with me?” I raised an eyebrow at what seemed like a pathetic explanation.
“Very pathetic I know, but I am very pathetic. Also, I don’t know if it helps, but you were the first guy I ever blew. Before, I would just use my dick to please guys, but I wanted to make you feel good, more than I wanted to feel good myself. It’s a really weak argument, but that’s all I have right now. I’m just hoping you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and maybe give me a chance to make it up to you and prove that you’re special to me. I want you to know that I’m interested in you, not just your body. I’m willing to court you-to show you that I’m serious. But if you’re really not interested, I’ll respect your decision and let you be.”
He gave me a weak smile, and I remained silent, unsure of what to say.
“I’ll see you around, Scott,” he said before leaving me alone with my thoughts.
Can I trust Colt? Does he genuinely want me to be his boyfriend, or is he just trying to get me into bed again? Moreover, is it even a good idea to get close to him now that he knows about my dad? This situation is so complicated, and I have no idea what to do.