A gay story: Fire in My Heart Pt. 01 Seth
I was embracing myself to face the questions I knew I was gonna get when meeting the family for another birthday party. Having a big family was a great thing if you needed help or someone to talk to. But sometimes it was a pain to keep up with all the parties and gatherings that was bound to happen if you were a greek-american living in a smallish town with all your family near-by. And being a 30-year-old single man I was almost getting used to all the question about “a girlfriend” or “having a family soon” or ” being interested in this or that lovely girl”. Almost. But there was a problem to that. I was a single gay man. A closeted gay man.
I was in the closet for purely comfort reasons. I didn’t think I would be disowned or anything like that. It was just easier for me to not have everyone know my business. Because in my family secrets were like holding a diamond in your hand – rare and too good to pass up. And I hadn’t met anyone who was worthy of coming out. So I stayed in the closet.
When I got to my parents’ house I was ready to face all the aunts and uncles and cousins with their children.
“Seth! Oh, my dearest Seth, come here, help me with the drinks” My mom had already hugged me and kissed my cheek while patting my stomach and pulling me towards the drinks.
“God, are you eating anything? You are getting too thin! You have to eat, my dear! Come here, take some meat. Here, here!”
She was pulling me towards the grill and I stopped midway and took my mother’s hand.
“Mom, please, I will eat later. And yes, mama, I am eating, every day in fact.”
“Oh, you! You know I worry about you. You need a wife to cook for you. With your crazy work hours I am sure you don’t have time to eat properly. I will pack you some leftovers, yes.”
With that she nodded and pushed me back to the drinks and was already giving orders to other people who arrived “early to help” like every other family had done who were attending. I started to take some soda and wine out of the coolers and had to smile when three teen-aged girls came and one shyly asked if they could get some coke. I reached for some coke and gave each one a can.
“Enjoy!” I smiled and winked at the girls who started giggling and backed away whispering to each other. I never really understood women or girls. But I knew that if you were a teenaged girl, you crushed on older guys left and right. I’m sure my looks didn’t hurt, or so I had been told many times over. I myself think that I am your average greek-american guy: olive skin, black wavy hair and dark eyes. Being a firefighter and having a good physique due to my job and constant working out at the gym helped also. I knew that people thought of me as attractive, but to me it was just looks and it would fade in time.
Maybe that’s why I hadn’t found anyone yet. I had had plenty of offers and men (and women) were interested in me, but that’s just it. They were interested in my looks but nothing more, I had come to find out. I was beginning to think that gay men didn’t really look for something serious and long-lasting, but just a hot night or two. But I knew that I wasn’t really looking in the right places either. I visited some clubs while younger but the club life wasn’t for me. Nowadays I met guys at the gym who made an obvious pass at me. I wasn’t really one to have a great gay-dar.
“Seth! Look at you, my darling! How are you? Are you seeing anyone yet? You know, my neighbors daughter, little Amy, remember? Well, she has just broken up with… who was is, Mark, honey, who did Amy date? Mark?”
My aunt Lena was poking her husband Mark who stayed oblivious to the whole conversation and was tapping away with his phone. Lena was about to continue her never ending matchmaking and I had to step in.
“Lena, you know I’m not looking to go on a blind date. I’ve got it under control.”
I tried to sound convincing and smiled bravely. Lena just smiled and patted my shoulder.
“You know I am thinking of your best. You can’t just stand still if you want to have a family of your own.”
“I know, I know.”
With that she left following her husband. Just couple more hours and it would be over I told myself with a sigh.
Adam
If I would have known how much work goes into starting a business I would have managed my time a little better. I gave myself two to three weeks to have my business up and running, but now ending a week three it looked like the paperwork was barely covered and I still had a thousand other things to do to get myself ready for my future bookings. But I was going to get things done as soon as possible, just so I could get to the point where I could actually do the work.
I have always loved outdoors, forests, gardens, flowers and plants. It is no wonder that I chose to do that as my career. Well, yard work and garden design mostly, but the occasional park jobs or mansion estates are my favorite and where my full creativity gets to use. I started with cutting the grass in high school and worked my way up the company. When my grandmother Sarah passed a year ago and left me her house and savings I decided that now or never is my time to start my own business. So here we are. My very own landscaping company is taking its first jobs.
It looked like my social life would have to wait for a while longer, since being a fresh entrepreneur my workdays would take all my energy and time before I would find capable help and everything would settle down. Not that no social life would be a problem or anything new to me. Since my granny Sarah passed away, I really hadn’t had time or interest in finding anyone new. God, had it been a little over a year already? Time has gone by so fast I can barely keep up. My last boyfriend of three years, Roy, disappeared six months before granny died. He wanted to pursuit his dream of entertainment business and bigger and better things in a big city. He did try to convince me to move with him to LA, but that’s not for me and we both knew it. Our relationship had it’s strong points, sex for example, but after he left I realized I missed the security and companionship of relationship more than Roy himself.
Anyways, after Granny passed I was heartbroken with grief and the next six months went by in a haze. Sarah had raised me from a toddler and I had no parents of my knowing. Granny Sarah had told that my mother was alive but not able to take care of me, and she was more than happy to raise me for she loved me most in the world. She was my rock, and after coming out to her when I was 16 and her accepting me wholly I understood that she was my best friend and I couldn’t have made it with out her. Her death was slow and painful: a breast cancer that in the end won the battle. I miss her everyday but nowadays the pain is less and not so piercing. That’s why I had the strength to start my business and maybe start anew with somebody if I happen to meet someone special. All I wanted was someone who loved me and accepted my love. Someone to grow old with, as cliché as that sounds, was my dream.
But, I had to concentrate on the present and work hard, so one day I would reach my goal of owning a successful business and hopefully have a family to go home to.
—
“AB Landscaping, Adam Bennett speaking”
I had just finished some paperwork and was off to eat some lunch, when my phone rang and I had to open my computer back up. I had advertised only for two weeks of having my business open and already I had a few job bookings and a lot of phone calls asking all sort of questions.
“Hi! It’s Elene Mires, I am calling about price estimate and maybe a design layout for my yard and garden?”
A pleasant female voice with an accent asked trough the phone.
“Then you called the right place Mrs. Mires. How can I help you?”
“Oh, It’s Elene, please. I would like to visit with you and hear what you could do to my estate. I am keen to have a change to my yard… or obsessed about it as my husband would say.”
“Not an unworthy obsession in my opinion” I laughed. “But if you would like, I could pop by our house this week and we could walk through the yard. That way I get an idea what you are looking for and I can estimate how much it should be. This would be a draft meeting which is naturally free of charge, this way you can decide if you would like to use my services in future. Sound good?”
“Yes, yes! Sounds very good. When are you free? I am at home during daytime so anytime is good for me.”
“How about today afternoon or tomorrow after one pm?”
“You can come so quick! I am so happy! Yes, you could come even today, if you have time. Let me give you the address and I will see you soon!”
Elene Mires sounded very excited and happy witch made me happy. These are the kind of clients I love. I took her address and knew where the area was. It was a nice neighborhood and usually the estates were extensive. I was feeling good about this already.
“I will see you soon Elene, and until then, have a great day!”
I ended the phone call smiling. And now I needed some food before my stomach started to make noise. Then off to the Mires home.