Gay story: Zac’s story – Chapter 9
Author: Zac22
“For real, don’t worry about it. Zac’s parents are cool.” Randy added.
A knock at the door came and I let my parents in. and got the hugs out of the way, “Hey mom, dad. Come on in. Have a seat. You guys know Randy.” They sat down and said hello as I introduced them to Shawn. It was a little awkward, but my mom did most of the talking like moms tend to do.
“Nice to meet you Shawn. We’ve heard so much about you.” She said.
“It’s really nice to meet you too ma’am….sir.” He was tense but handled himself really well.
I gave them a quick tour of our apartment. My mom wasn’t fazed at all by my living with Shawn or that we slept in the same bed. My dad looked a little uneasy, but he was never very good at these little awkward formalities so I figured it was no big deal.
We all went out to dinner. We sat down and ate and talked, but my dad barely said anything. It was all nods and short answers. He didn’t look angry or upset, he just didn’t talk. When we finished and went back to our apartment, they all went inside, but I stopped my dad outside and asked him to go for a quick walk. The rest went inside and chatted. I told Randy to protect Shawn from my mom’s interrogation.
“Is there something wrong, dad?” I asked as we started to walk around the park near the apartment.
“No.”
“Well, do you have a problem with Shawn or us living together or what because you haven’t hardly said two words to him all night.” I prodded.
“No, he seems like a good kid. I guess I just feel a little weird.”
“Weird about what, dad? I really want you to like my boyfriend…” When I said that he grimaced a bit. “Oh so that’s it. You have a problem with him because he’s a guy.”
He rolled his head around a little bit as he was obviously uncomfortable, “I just never thought about you living with another man before.”
“Dad, I’m gay. You’ve known this for a long time now and you’ve never had a problem before.”
“But it’s real now. Before you were just gay and now you are living with another man…sleeping in the same bed.”
“I’ve had boyfriends before. You should be happy I’m with someone that I love and I’m not going around dating a bunch of other guys getting into trouble. You should be happy for me. I mean did you think I was gonna just stop being gay?”
“No, I know you’re gay and there’s nothing wrong with that. I love you and want you to be happy, but I don’t know how to talk to a boyfriend of my son.”
“I love you too, and thank you. I am happy, but what do you mean you don’t know how to talk to him?”
“Well if you were straight then I’d know how to talk to your girlfriend and say how pretty she is and how lucky you are to have such a nice girl and all that. Even if you were my daughter and brought a boy home I’d know how to act. I’d tell him he better take good care of my daughter and make sure he was good enough for her and make sure she never got hurt. With you, I have a son who doesn’t need protecting and you have a boyfriend who I can’t tell to be good to you or anything like that. It’s just different and I don’t know how to act.” He explained quietly.
“Okay, well that makes sense I guess. You don’t know how to act because you’ve never been taught how to treat your gay son’s boyfriend. Then I guess I’ll just tell you. Treat him how you treat me or how you treat Randy. Just as another guy.” I tried to help.
“But it’s different for you or Randy. I don’t even know what to talk about with Shawn.” He said.
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t know how to talk to a gay guy.” He continued.
“Ummm dad, you’ve been talking to a gay guy for the last ten minutes.” I replied.
“But you’re not like a normal gay guy. You’re different.”
“Okay dad, I’m going to act like I didn’t hear you just say ‘normal gay guy’ and try to help you understand this again because I know this is still foreign to you.” I said slightly irritated but I understood that he was not trying to be mean, he just didn’t understand. “What you see on TV about how gay people act is not entirely true. Yeah some do fit those stereotypes, but you know that I don’t. Neither do many many many other gay people. To be totally honest, and don’t you dare repeat this, Shawn is more masculine and farther away from the stereotype you see on TV than I am.”
“Really?” He asked with an interested look.
“Yeah, but don’t you dare tell anyone I said that.” I paused and laughed. “Shawn isn’t feminine and isn’t going to talk about fashion or Brad Pitt or anything” he laughed “He loves sports and action movies and all that stuff. He’s just another guy. He just happens to also be my boyfriend. Talk to him like you would any other guy and treat him like you said before. As long as he seems to be a good guy who cares about me and will never hurt me, then you can approve and act like any other dad.”
“Alright, I’ll try my best.”
“Cool, let’s go back inside.”
We went back into the apartment where Shawn seemed to be calm with my mom.
“Hey, you’re back. We were just talking about how Shawn here wants to work in sports radio.” My mom said.
“Really?” My dad asked, interested.
Shawn looked up at me and seemed to get nervous again. He knew why I was talking to my dad and clearly felt like my dad did not like him. I gave him a nod to let him know it was okay.
“I’ll go get us some glasses and lemonade.” I went over to the kitchen as my dad sat down.
“So you want to work for a team or ESPN or another station?” My dad continued.
“Ummm, I’d like to work for a radio station, maybe ESPN and do a talk show and discuss all the sports news and topics and maybe also cover some games play-by-play or whatever else is offered.” Shawn said in a very nervous tone.
“Sounds good, so I got one question for ya. Yankee fan?”
“Hell no!” Shawn said clearly, “I mean, no sir.” He got nervous again.
My dad laughed, “Good man.”
The worst was over at that point. I brought in the drinks and gave Shawn a smirk. I sat down next to him and we all talked for the next hour or so. My dad opened up and didn’t seem awkward the rest of the night and Shawn was able to relax. They left to their hotel and were going to be back in the morning to see campus and whatever else.
The door shut and Shawn exhaled “Holy shit, what did you talk about with your dad?”
“No kidding, I’ve never seen him that uptight and quiet and then you guys come back in from that walk and total 180” Randy added as he carried the glasses back into the kitchen.
“He was uncomfortable because he didn’t know how to act around his son’s boyfriend. He said he doesn’t have a problem with me being gay, just didn’t know how to talk to Shawn.”
“Really, what was he worried about?” Shawn asked.
“He said he didn’t know how to talk to a gay guy,” Randy laughed into his hand as he walked back into the living room and sat down, “He said it was different talking to me because I’m not a ‘normal gay guy’.”
“Oh no, please don’t tell me you attacked your dad.” Shawn said causing Randy to laugh even more.
I glared at them both, “No, I didn’t attack him. I just set him straight,” Randy laughed again, “Oh shut up, I just EXPLAINED to him that the stereotypes weren’t true and that you are just like any other guy and he could treat you the same way he treats me or Randy.”
“That’s great, I was so worried he hated me, then he totally flipped and I didn’t know what to think.” Shawn said.
“Well, I can see where he’s coming from. Apartment with two gay guys in it, odds are one is gonna be a raging mo” Randy said as he busted out laughing. Shawn covered his own laugh with one hand and put the other hand up as if to say ‘I didn’t say it, it was all him’ and I shook my head at him holding back a smirk.
“Do you think it matters if people know you’re gay?” Shawn asked quietly. We were lying in bed. It was probably past midnight and I was mostly asleep in his arms.
“What? What are you talking about?” I asked starting to wake up a little as I turned to face him.
“Does it really matter if people know that you are gay? I mean, as long as you are comfortable with yourself and happy, it shouldn’t mater if anyone knows what your sexuality is.” He said very seriously.
He looked troubled and I was almost totally awake now. “Baby, where is this coming from?”
“Does it matter?” Shawn asked urgently. He was sitting up now.
“I don’t know. It depends on the person. If they can be happy and live their life without it bothering them then I suppose they don’t need to tell people.” I was awake now and getting worried. Shawn looked really upset. He was now sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to me.
“What about you and me?” He asked softer again.
“What about you and me? Everyone already knows about us.” I said confused.
“But would it matter if they didn’t?” He turned his head back slightly as he asked this.
“Well, I have been out for a long time and that’s because I want to be honest with the people close to me. I don’t want to lie to them and try to be something I’m not.” I explained. I had talked to him about this before. I wasn’t sure why he wanted to talk about it again now.
“But gay isn’t who you are. It doesn’t change anything about you. So what does it matter if people see you as gay or straight if you are still the same person?”
“That’s why I came out. It didn’t change who I was and people understood that. Since it didn’t change me there was no reason to lie about it.” I paused. “What is this all about Shawn?”
“I never told my parents I’m gay.” He took a hard deep breath, “I said I told them, but I didn’t. My friends all know, but I never told my family and I don’t know if I can.”
I didn’t know how to react. On the one hand, I was mad that he lied to me about telling his parents. On the other hand, he was clearly upset about lying and even more upset about the issue of telling them. “Ok, that’s fine. Do you want to tell them?”
“I don’t think I can.” He said breathing heavy.
I began rubbing his back, “But do you want to tell them?”
“I don’t know.” He sounded really worried and his breathing increased, “I- can’t- breathe”
“Shit!” I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a small paper bag and held it over his mouth. “Breathe into the bag. Deep breathes.” I held the bag over his mouth as I rubbed his back, “That’s it, deep breathes. Slow. Relax.” He steadied his breathing and I guided him back down into bed. I put the bag down and closed the door before returning to him. “Just calm down, baby. It’s all right if you haven’t told your family yet. You can tell them if you want and I’ll help you. If not, then we won’t. As long as we’re happy then it doesn’t matter.” I assured him as I stroked the hair on his head.
“Seriously, just go to the party. I’ll be fine.” Shawn urged.
We had spent that morning discussing his panic attack over his parents. I didn’t want to leave him alone. Randy wanted to go to a party a few blocks down the street but needed someone to go with so he didn’t feel like a loser. I told him I’d go with him and Shawn would’ve but the place wasn’t really accessible and Shawn didn’t really like parties anyway.
“Are you sure? I’ll stay. It’s no problem for me to stay and talk about this.”
“We’ve talked about it all day. I feel better. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’ll figure it out. Go out. Have fun.” Shawn kept prodding me.
“Alright, call me if you need anything and I’ll come right back.” I told him as I made my way to the door. He nodded and I left with Randy.
The party was busy and loud with plenty of drinks to go around.
“Here, drink up and relax. Shawn will be fine. With all the drama of last weekend’s visit from your family and now this, you need a night to just relax and get fucked up.” Randy handed me a beer in a red plastic party cup.
Drink after drink went by. 10 o’clock became midnight and then one and two. Everybody was pretty trashed at the party. Dancing and drinking non stop. Some people were sitting on furniture or any piece of wall they could lean on. Randy eventually got caught up in various conversations and was now away from Zac. Zac, still in the main living room was completely wasted sitting on a coach. In front of him was a coffee table filled with half empty party cups completely blending in with one another. The room was still fairly full and a pretty tipsy girl made her way to the couch next to Zac.
“Hey, my name’s Kaley.”
“Hi, I’m Zac” He said with a smile.
“You here alone?” She asked getting very close.
“No…I came here with Randy. He’s, he’s my roommate…my, my best friend.” Zac stuttered, once again oblivious to her flirting looks. He reached forward and grabbed what he assumed to be his cup and continued drinking.
Randy was working his way through the crowd when he realized how late it was. The party was just as busy as ever so he had to carefully push through the crowd of people. Eventually getting to the living room where he left Zac earlier.
“Zac, what the fuck?!?” Randy said in shock. Kaley was straddling Zac’s waist kissing his neck and sucking his earlobe. She sat up and turned to Randy.
“Something wrong?”
“Yeah, you mind getting off my friend?” Randy asked her puzzled.
“Why don’t you come back later? He’s busy.” She said.
“I’m not goin anywhere. Listen, I don’t know who the hell you are, but you need to get off of him and let me take him home.” Randy argued.
“I think he’d rather go home with me.” She said quite proud of herself.
“Ummm, I think not.” He leaned in over Zac and grabbed his necklace out from under his shirt showing it to her. “I’m positive he’d rather go home to his BOYFRIEND.” He demanded.
“Fuck.” She got up with a disgusted look on her face. “I just made out with a faggot.”
Randy got down to a knee looking at Zac gazing off with a dumb smile on his face. He looked back over at the girl as she walked away “Get over yourself bitch and watch your fucking mouth.”
“Zac, are you ok? Look at me!” Randy held Zac’s head straight to get him to make eye contact.
“Randy, the room is green.” He laughed.
“Dude, what’s up with him?”
“Jake!” Randy looked up. “Is anyone doing drugs here?”
“Woah dude, keep your voice down. Yeah a couple guys brought some acid. Why?”
“Cuz Zac clearly got some.” Randy shook his head frustrated. “No surprise with all these cups everywhere.”
“Dude, you think he drank a spiked beer?”
“Jesus, you should be a fucking detective! Help me get him home.” Randy pulled Zac up by his arm as Jake grabbed his other arm.
Jake help Randy carry Zac out of the party and to the sidewalk. Then as they started down the street Zac began throwing up.
“Shit.” Jake said jumping back and Randy caught Zac as he began to fall.
“Fuck you dude, you just let him fall.”
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