“Are then any more issues than Ashley right now?”
“Jerry is living there.”
“Where?”
“In our house.”
“Since when?”
.
I told him we had an amazing ride home after leaving Ross’s house yesterday. We had the same favorite song, we sang, and then Nate opened up to me about his past. I told him it was really heavy, and it made me realize even more how much I admire and care for him, but before we could talk about it, Jerry called. I told him what happened after and how Nate invited Jerry to live with us for as long as he needed. I told Ben everything that happened today, and I broke down crying again when I recollected the last minutes in that house.
.
Ben never stopped or interrupted my rant and just listened while holding me close and warm. I don’t know how long it took me to say it all, but he was there. Listening.
“What will be now?” he asked when I finished.
“I don’t know.”
“Do you want to be with him?”
“I don’t know.”
“What…” Ben’s phone started ringing. It was on the coffee table right in front of us, so we could both see the number calling him.
“That’s Nate.”
Ben looked at me as if asking me if he should answer it. I nodded. I knew Nate must be worried for me.
.
Ben reached for the phone and answered.
“Yes.” Ben’s voice was chilling.
“Yes, he is here.”
“Yes.”
“I think that would be best.”
“Right.”
“Okay.”
He threw the phone on the table. I looked after it listening to the sound of it falling on the hardwood. Then I looked at Ben.
“He just needed to know if you were safe. Then he asked if you would need to have a space, and I said that you do. Then he thanked me for being there for you and said his goodbyes. He sounded really heartbroken.”
I just nodded. I didn’t know what to say to that. I was tired. I told that to Ben, and he nodded, saying that Peter had prepared a room for me upstairs and I should get some sleep. I thanked him, and we went up, he carrying my bag for me.
.
We reached the room, and it was pretty much empty. Peter took all toys and boxes from there and left the futon with a sheet, blanket, and pillow. The dresser was open and empty, as were the shelves.
“Where did he put Sheila’s things?”
“Rick, she is three. She will be happier having you here than a room full of toys she doesn’t play with that much anyway. I am sure he put it somewhere he considered right. You can ask him when you wake up. This is now your space for as long as you need. I can bring you a table and chair tomorrow.
“Thank you, Ben. You are amazing.”
“Don’t mention it, Rick. You are family!”
He kissed me on my forehead. He had this soft longing in his eyes.
“Did you bring any clothes?”
“No…”
“I will bring you some.”
He left and returned with a little pile of clothes within a few minutes. He handed me a shirt and shorts and put the rest on the dresser.
“I don’t think you’d fit into Peters, and mine are probably too big, but I suppose it’s better than nothing.”
“Of course, thank you.”
Then he wished me to sleep well and left.
.
I took off my pants and shirt, tossing it away, and as I reached for Ben’s, my sight stopped on that shirt on the ground, the one I had been wearing all night. It was Nates… It was the shirt I took off of him when we had sex this afternoon. Fuck! The only clothes I have here and that fucking shirt must be his. Now I know why I felt him everywhere tonight…
.
I wish I were stronger, but I took it and placed it on the pillow crying into it as I fell asleep breathing in his scent.
.