Then it was just my father’s voice. “Well boys, you have witnessed in fact the wisdom of our state Government. I would have thrown that disgusting faggot out on his ass for shaming us and besmirching our sacred home. But the police dissuaded me and it was great advice. Now, as you have seen, he is a servile and obedient animal, cleans and cooks and gardens. And besides, he earns us good money that will pay for James’ college.”
“What will happen though when he turns 21?” Billy asked.
“I spoke with the administrator of the bonded servant program. She explained that if he tries to leave his servitude, I should inform the police and they will immediately arrest him for vagrancy and deviancy. He cannot get far with the tracking locator embedded in his arm. I do not think that prison will be preferable to being a permanent slave – er, I mean servant – in our home.”
So there it was. My future foretold. That gave me, even in my wretched condition, the strength and resolve to end my life for real. With all hope gone, abandoned by my former parents and even my kid brother whose life I saved, no friends, no one in the world, it was time to end this unrelenting, hellish horror that was my life. My soul was dead, my heart broken to pieces, my mouth and ass just holes to be penetrated and degraded, my body a receptacle for cum and piss. Nothing of me was left anyway. Ending it all would be a blessing. For this final heroic act, I will find the courage.
I heard my former father call out, ordering me to bring more beer for his son James and his great friends as well as one for himself as well. “And don’t forget some snacks.” The dumb, soulless robot that was me crawled out from my cage, brought them all what they wanted, with head bowed. I saw the smirks on their faces, the looks of disgust at the pathetic form in front of them. Mickey grabbed his crotch while my former father was not looking, smirking as he made sure that the huge outline of his cock was clear for me to see. And he nodded his head knowingly, a satisfied smile on his face.
As I turned to go back to the kitchen, James stuck out his leg and tripped me. I fell hard, so exhausted, on my face. “Only real men walk upright. Just crawl back to your cage.” And so I did, crawling on all fours as the boys laughed. My father scowled, but said nothing.
It did not matter anymore. I would do for real what they had already done, killing my soul and deadening any feeling I had. Yes, I said to myself, the only feeling I hoped that I could muster was courage, the courage to end it all.
Of course, I would love your comments and thoughts. More important, as you watch and listen to those who threaten us, demeaning us for being gay (whether out or closeted as I am), I hope that you take the story seriously. I wrote to remind us that we take for granted, we can lose if we do not fight.