A gay story: The Trappings of Love Pt. 02 When Boston Reyes stirred awake the next morning, he found himself in his bed alone. As he laid in bed with his eyes closed, he remembered that Josh had fallen asleep in his bed with him for the first time in their dorm room. While the boys had shared a bed many times before, they had never done so when there was an open bed available and they had certainly never cuddled like they had the night before.
Boston always slept in one of the guest bedrooms at Josh’s house but Boston’s house was much more crowded and all the bedrooms were taken. So he always shared his queen bed with Josh instead of making him sleep on his floor or living-room couch. Considering locked doors were a no-no for Boston’s parents, they always ran the risk of Boston’s siblings or parents walking in so cuddling was something that never even crossed the boys’ minds. Sure, they’d found themselves sleeping very close to eachother many times but never outright cuddling. Being that the dorm beds were full-size, this meant that they had even less room than they normally did in Boston’s bed.
It had honestly felt nice to Boston but it still felt like some invisible line may have been crossed. He wondered if Josh had woken up in the middle of the night and gotten back in his own bed because he sensed the same thing. Soon, he heard quiet grunts coming from the floor of the bedroom and opened his eyes to find Josh doing sit ups. Josh always did several sets of sit ups, push ups and planks first thing in the morning. Boston always admired this about Josh, he seemed so disciplined and had it all together.
“It wouldn’t kill you to take a day off every now and then, you know,” groaned Boston as he stretched in his bed.
“Oh sorry man, I hope I didn’t wake you up,” grunted Josh as he continued his sit ups.
“I’m serious man, I don’t understand how you don’t stay sore and tired all the time,” said Boston, sitting up. Boston looked over at Josh’s bed which had obviously not been slept in.
“Because your body gets used to it and then it takes alot more to make you sore, I keep telling you that you wouldn’t feel so beat up if you’d just work out more,” replied Josh, laying flat on his back between sets.
Boston was always complaining after practice and games about soreness, particularly in his shoulders, neck and upper-back. Boston just sighed and continued laying on his back scrolling on his phone while Josh finished his workout.
“Come on man, you gotta get up! You got class in twenty minutes,” said Josh once finished, clapping his hands together like Coach did when he wanted the team to jog faster during laps around the field.
Boston groaned before getting up, grabbing some clean clothes from his dresser and going to change in the bathroom. He brushed his teeth quickly, made sure his short but shaggy dark hair was the right amount of messy and soon, he was headed to class. The boys had tried to get as many classes together as they could and successfully managed to get three of five classes together. The other two classes they had were the same courses, just in different classes and today’s first was one of those classes.
After Boston had gone, Josh had another twenty minutes to kill before he hinself had to go to his first class of the day. He got dressed real quick and then laid down on his bed to relax for a few minutes before class. Josh started grinning when he thought about the night before.
Josh had left the room to throw some clothes in the dryer but he turned back when he’d realized he was taking his phone out of Bluetooth range of their speaker. When he walked back into their dorm room, Boston was in the bathroom and making quite a bit of noise. Josh walked to the door to make sure he was alright and when he did, it became extremely clear that Boston was in the middle of a particularly intense orgasm. He quickly threw his phone on the bed and left before Boston knew he had been there. Josh didn’t find it weird or embarrassing at all but he knew Boston would be mortified if he’d known Josh had heard him.
As he thought about this, Josh realized his own penis was hardening rapidly in his pants. He tried to coax it down because he didn’t want to jack off right before class but it just wouldn’t go down. The thing was just begging to be touched and there was no way Josh could walk to class with it so visibly straining his jeans. Josh unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, pulled the front of his Jockey boxer-briefs down so that he could free his seven inch cock. It was as hard as a dense piece of wood and it almost hurt.
Josh threw his head back, slowly stroking his penis while rubbing his own abs and chest. Josh always did this, enjoying the feeling of his own body. He wasn’t necessarily conceited but he definitely thought he was hot and most girls normally agreed. At first, he tried thinking about images of his past encounters with girls like he normally did when jerking off without porn. But for some reason, his mind kept going back to hearing Boston groaning in the bathroom as he masturbated.
Josh thought about what Boston’s penis might look like. He thought about how big his best friend’s cumshots might be. He pictured Boston getting a handjob from one of the girls he knew Boston had gotten one from. He remembered Boston’s story about the first blowjob he’d ever received, the only sexual story Boston had ever really told Josh in great detail. He played it in his head like a movie, watching her gag on the dick that he couldn’t quite see in his mind. He was watching her bob her head up and down in his best friends lap…until suddenly, it wasn’t her blowing Boston. It was Josh sucking desperately as Boston started bucking his hips, about to unleash a massive flood of semen into his best friend’s mouth.
“Uhhh oh fuck…oh fuck,” gasped Josh as his orgasm suddenly started to take over. He felt a slight panic when he realized that he had not grabbed a towel or sock or anything to cum into. Just in time, he swiftly turned over onto his side so as to not cum on his shirt and shot a massive wad of his own cum onto the dark blue comforter that covered his mattress.
Once he’d come down from the orgasm he stood up, looking down at the mess he’d made. As he stood there, his still erect penis hanging over the elastic band of his underwear, he felt an odd urge to do something he’d never done before. Before he could even contemplate what he was doing, he reached down onto the comforter and scooped a small amount of his cum with two fingers before sticking them in his mouth.
Josh didn’t necessarily find the taste particularly pleasant but he was surprised it wasn’t nearly as bad as he always figured it would be. Once the afterglow of his orgasm faded, however, he was horrified with what he’d just done. It wasn’t the tasting of his own cum that he was most disgusted with though. It was the fact he’d just had an incredible orgasm thinking about giving Boston, his best friend in the world, a blowjob.
He felt deeply shameful and guilty, as if he’d betrayed the trust of his friend. Boston was the most important person in his life, especially since he hadn’t had a girlfriend in well over a year. His face burned as he thought of how uncomfortable Boston would feel if he ever knew, how violated he would feel. Boston was always a little weird about sexuality and stuff like that, he wasn’t the kind of guy that typically discussed those things. If he was uncomfortable whenever Josh said something about sex with a girl, he couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable he would be knowing Josh had ejaculated while imagining himself sucking him off.
The thought that he’d imagined himself giving another guy a blowjob didn’t really enter into his mind, Josh didn’t feel all that weird about that part. He had always appreciated an attractive guy but it never crossed his mind to be sexually involved with one. It could have been any other boy in the world that he’d masturbated to and it really wouldn’t have phased him. He’d have just written it off as a moment of adolescent horniness and natural curiosity. But this wasn’t any other boy, this was Boston.
It finally registered in his head that he needed to get going or he would be late to his American history class. He stuffed his still semi-erect penis back into his underwear, adjusted it so that it wasn’t too obscenely visible and then buttoned and zipped his pants up. He continued beating himself up thinking about what had happened the whole walk to class but by the end of the class, it had been pushed from his mind. Replacing it was a feeling of panic as he realized he had a paper due for this class at midnight that he’d totally forgotten about. Normally, he’d be meeting Boston for an early lunch after this class but he decided he’d go back to the room and start on the paper before his next class.
Truthfully, he was kind of grateful to have an excuse to avoid Boston right now. It may not be at the forefront of his mind anymore but he was still feeling a bit of inner turmoil over the whole thing. As soon as he got back to the room, he immediately grabbed his laptop, sat down on his bed and started on his paper.
He quickly began to feel frustrated and overwhelmed by the daunting task of writing five pages on one of the founding fathers and their contributions to the formation of the country. History was so incredibly boring to him and he didn’t really know how he was going to stretch this out into five pages of college-level prose and analysis. Soon, his phone went off in his pocket. His stomach lurched a little when he saw it was a text message from Boston.
“Where you at?? I’m hungry as fuck,” it said.
“Forgot about the history paper due tonight, skipping lunch to start it. Sorry, meant to message you,” replied Josh.
“But have you even eaten today?” asked Boston.
“Nah it’s all good though. I’ll be fine, just eat without me today man,” answered Josh before turning his attention back to his paper.
Josh was nearly through with the introduction of his paper when the door swung open. It was Boston, who had a bag of food with him.
“You’re an idiot, we got practice immediately after our next class and you think you’re not gonna eat?” asked Boston as soon as he walked through the door.
“I know man, but it’s gonna be a fucking miracle if I get this paper done in time,” replied Josh miserably.
“Well here, at least eat while you wallow in your self pity,” said Boston with a smirk, tossing a sub sandwich over to Josh.
“Is it a cold cut combo?” he asked Boston hopefully as he unwrapped it.
“‘Add bacon and provolone’, yes I know what you get every single time,” responded Boston, rolling his eyes.
“Sweet! Thanks man, I owe you one,” said Josh, smiling widely. Boston felt his mouth smile back like it did automatically whenever Josh smiled at him, he couldn’t really help it.
They ate their sandwiches quietly, Josh slowly working on his paper as he ate. When Boston was done eating, he got up off his bed and walked over to Josh to look at what he’d typed so far.
“Bro, what the fuck is that?!” he exclaimed, pointing to the bed next to Josh.
Josh’s stomach plummeted, knowing immediately what Boston had seen. Being so intent on trying to get this paper done, he’d totally forgotten about the puddle of cum that had to have soaked into the comforter by now.
“Oh–uh–that’s…” he stammered, blushing furiously.
“So that’s the real reason you were going to skip lunch for,” laughed Boston, clearly more amused than anything.
“No, that was from before class,” said Josh meekly, smiling weakly in an attempt to cover his embarrassment.
“Yeah well that’s quite the mess you made. Have you ever heard of a cum-towel dude??” teased Boston.
Josh could have turned the tables on Boston and brought up the night before but Josh would never do that. He knew Boston couldn’t take the teasing back as good as Josh could. He had no desire to bring up the night before regardless, irrationally fearing maybe Boston would somehow connect the dots and realize that’s why he had masturbated in the first place. It never even occurred to Josh that Boston had jerked off after seeing him in the shower the previous night. He was absolutely positive that Boston was as straight as can be, but until these last couple days, he’d considered himself to be straight as well.
“I just forgot man, I was in a hurry before class! I won’t make that mistake again,” he said, chuckling.
Boston laughed some more before bending down to read what Josh had typed. With Boston bent over him, Josh could smell Boston’s scent: a mixture of Kiwi Old Spice and his natural musk that Josh couldn’t help but take in.
“Looks good so far man, you’ll get it done I’m sure,” said Boston after he was done reading.
Soon, they were heading off together to their next class and then before long, they were back in their dorm after practice. Boston immediately grabbed a pair of boxer-briefs and a shirt and headed straight for the shower. While he showered, Josh opened his laptop back up and read what he’d already typed of his paper.
He felt the strongest urge to just cry, he felt so frustrated not knowing what he was even going to say. He typed a couple more sentences and then picked up a pillow and screamed into it. He didn’t handle stress well and even though he had a great work ethic, he was not exactly a genius. He had to try very hard to get decent grades. He couldn’t afford to leave work like this until last minute and normally he never would but even after only a month, college had been a different animal than high school. Professors didn’t remind you every class of upcoming assignments and tests, you were expected to keep up with the coursework through the syllabus. Josh pulled up his notes from class, trying to find things to say on the topic.
When Boston came out of the bathroom, extremely thankful to have a clean pair of underwear to put on for the first time in days, he saw Josh and could tell he was feeling totally overwhelmed. He looked over at Boston like a deer in headlights, a face that clearly screamed “I am fucked.”
“Bro relax, you’ve got like 4 hours to do this. Go take a shower, calm yourself down and then come back to it,” said Boston sympathetically.
“It’s hopeless man, I may as well just say fuck it and take a zero,” responded Josh, dejected.
“No, you’re not gonna get yourself put on academic probation after the first damn semester,” said Boston firmly.
“True…but I’m not doing anything til I know I’m gonna be able to finish this, it’s gonna take me every bit of that four hours to even get close,” said Josh miserably.
Boston looked at him for a moment and felt pity for him. He thought about how comfortable he felt in the clean underwear that Josh had been so kind to wash for him.
“Nah, you aren’t gonna make this room smell like ball-sweat. Hand me that and go get in the shower man,” he said, holding his hand out for the laptop.
“What, you mean you’re gonna work on it for me while I shower?” asked Josh hopefully.
“Don’t get used to it…but yes, I’ll help you,” he said, smiling in a self-satisfied way.
Josh stood up and launched himself into Boston without thinking, nearly tackling him to the floor. He hugged a momentarily surprised Boston tight. Boston laughed and gave him a little squeeze in response.
“Okay okay, let me go cause you are still a sweaty mess,” said Boston with a smile.
“Thank you so much man! I owe you a million for real!”
Josh gathered up some clean clothes and headed into the bathroom as Boston sat down on his bed with the laptop. Boston was a smart guy, not necessarily a rocket-scientist but was smart enough that he handled all his freshman courses with ease. He was particularly great at writing papers and since he’d already finished and submitted this paper for his own class, he already had a good idea about how to write the paper.
Josh had chosen a different founding father than Boston had but it made no difference, history was his favorite subject and he almost always wrote from his own memory. Even on research papers that required a bibliography of sources (which this was thankfully not that kind of paper), he’d wait til after he wrote his papers before finding sources to pretend he used for citations.
By the time Josh came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, Boston had already breezed through the rest of the first page after Josh’s introduction and was almost halfway through the second. Josh walked over to look at Boston’s progress and was both impressed and ecstatic.
“Holy shit dude, you’re good at this kind of thing,” he said earnestly.
“I mean I guess…I don’t know, this sort of thing just comes easy to me,” said Boston, shrugging.
“Well thanks man, I think I’ll definitely be able to finish it now,” said Josh appreciatively, reaching for the laptop.
“I got it dude, it won’t take me but an hour to finish this,” said Boston, thinking to himself that this could be his way of evening the score after all the times Josh has cleaned up after him.
“Dude you’re seriously the best,” said Josh, sitting down on his own bed and connecting his phone to the Bluetooth speaker to play music.
After fifteen minutes of scrolling on his phone as Boston worked on his paper for him, he looked over at Boston who kept rolling his shoulders and stretching his neck out. He was in what had to be an uncomfortable position, sitting crossed legged on the bed and hunching over to type on the laptop which was sitting on the bed in front of him.
“Your shoulders hurt?” Josh asked Boston.
“And my neck, I think I must have landed awkwardly when I dove for that fly ball in practice. We need to figure out how to get a desk or something in here, this is incredibly uncomfortable,” he said, not looking up from the computer screen.
Josh sat silently for a moment, contemplating something before walking wordlessly over to Boston’s bed and sat behind him. He started to gently massage Boston’s shoulders and neck. Boston stopped typing for a moment and closed his eyes.
“Is this bothering you?” asked Josh a little nervously, pausing what he was doing. He had never asked Boston if this kind thing bothered him before but he was now paranoid about doing things that might weird Boston out.
“Fuck no dude, that feels great. Keep doing it,” replied Boston softly, eliciting a smile from Josh.
For the next thirty minutes or so, Josh rubbed Boston’s shoulders and neck. Josh’s hands had started to cramp a little but he did not stop what he was doing. He eventually started to run his hands up Boston’s neck, sensually rubbing the bottom of his skull behind his ears. This caused Boston’s scalp to tingle. Boston was thankful he had masturbated the previous day and that he had the paper to focus on because he could feel his penis wanting to expand in his underwear. Finally, Boston finished the paper and then went ahead and submitted it online for Josh.
“Thanks again man, you’re such a lifesaver,” reiterated Josh.
“Just consider it a thank you for picking up after me,” said Boston with a small smile.
Boston stood up and grabbed his Xbox controller before returning to his spot on the bed in front of Josh. As he started playing his game, Josh sat awkwardly behind him. He wanted to keep doing what he always did with Boston but he was getting in his head about things. He felt confused by his feelings and worried that Boston would figure out that out. Boston, on the other hand, was waiting patiently for Josh to go back to what he was doing. When he didn’t after several minutes, Boston did something he’d never done before.
“Uh…could you do that thing you were doing on the back of my head?” asked Boston awkwardly.
This was the first time Boston had ever even asked Josh to touch him. He’d never even verbally acknowledged the behavior before tonight, let alone asked for it. It was sort of an unspoken part of their friendship and intentionally so. Boston had been a little hesitant because he didn’t want to give Josh the wrong idea but he figured if Josh always did this sort of thing and he always let him, what’s the harm in asking him to do it.
“Sure thing,” said Josh brightly, all apprehension leaving his mind as he enthusiastically started doing what Boston asked him to.
It had certainly crossed Josh’s mind before that maybe it bothered Boston when he did stuff like this, but he convinced himself that Boston would ask him to stop if it did bother him. This moment told him that Boston wasn’t just tolerating it, he enjoyed it. This made Josh feel oddly weightless for a moment, as if it had filled him with an earnest joy that made him float. It wasn’t lost on Josh that this feeling had typically been reserved for moments with girls he had been into romantically.
Even though they spent most days together even before college, it was like moving in together had changed something. Being together all the time without family or other friends around had created a new kind of intimacy between them. If they had been attached to eachother before, they were probably beginning to venture into the dangerous territory of co-dependency.
It’d been a month in college and the boys hadn’t even made any new friends. Sure, they had people on the baseball team and in their classes that they chatted with and liked but it’d be a stretch to say they were friends with these people. These thoughts hadn’t crossed either boys’ minds but it’s clear they were both beginning to depend on eachother beyond what was generally considered healthy for a friendship.
“Eh I’m bored with this tonight, here,” said Boston suddenly, holding the controller over his shoulder for Josh to grab. “Put something on for us to watch.”
“Okay!” replied Josh enthusiastically as he turned the music off, clearly happy to watch something with Boston like he always was.
In all honesty, Boston wasn’t necessarily bored with the game. No, he moreso just wanted to lay down because he was hoping that Josh would want to cuddle him again. Boston obviously wouldn’t ask him to, that would be too out of character for him and might give Josh the wrong idea and it wasn’t his style anyway. He’d already stepped far enough out of his comfort zone tonight when he asked for Josh to rub his neck.
Boston just figured that they were having a sort of bromance going on but nothing too serious. Boston really didn’t dwell too much on feelings or emotions much, he was a bit of a typical jock in that sense. Sure, he was aware that he and Josh were doing things most guys didn’t do but he also figured this probably wasn’t as unusual as people might think for two attractive heterosexual guys as close as they were.
Cuddling was also on Josh’s mind too and he was starting to feel some butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He remembered what he’d done earlier, masturbating to Boston and he once again felt guilty for feeling this way. But he couldn’t help it, he wasn’t doing any of this intentionally. Josh was a much more emotional kind of guy, he was always “feeling” and that was something that Boston understood about him even if he didn’t really relate to it.
Josh started worrying about what this could mean for their friendship, surely nothing good could come from catching feelings for Boston. And if he let it keep going like this, he knew that’s probably where this would go. He had never considered himself anything but straight, yet he was beginning to consider the implications of having a burgeoning crush on another guy. As excited as he had felt just seconds before, he suddenly felt anxiety and a sense of dread as he once again got too deep into his own head.
Boston assumed his usual position on the bed and, once Josh picked what they were going to watch, he did the same. Unlike he normally did, however, Josh laid flat on his back and kept his hands to himself. Both boys stared at the TV screen but weren’t really paying attention to what was going on. Both boys felt a tension in the air and, naturally, both wondered if the other felt it too but neither dared to speak about it.
Josh’s mind was racing and Boston started to sense something was wrong. He would glance over at Josh every couple of minutes, wondering what was wrong. It’s one thing if Josh didn’t try to cuddle him as that was something new that had just happened for the first time the night before. It’s something else that Josh wasn’t even playing with his hair or lightly tapping his fist against his arm or thigh like he always did as they watched TV. It made Boston feel a little uneasy. Part of him worried if Josh could sense that he was wanting to cuddle again and he wondered if that had made him feel uncomfortable or something.
Josh, on the other hand, avoided Boston’s gaze altogether. He kept his eyes glued to the screen as his mind flooded with different thoughts. He wanted so badly to turn onto his side and start running his fingers through Boston’s hair like he always did but he had started to question if it was a good idea for him to keep being so touchy-feely with Boston. If he started doing that, then he might end up being stupid and trying to cuddle Boston again. Clearly he’d started to feel differently about his best friend and he couldn’t let that continue. It made him feel pretty lousy, both the fact he was having these treacherous feelings for somebody that trusted him implicitly and for also having to stop himself from showing Boston the usual affection he did. And lousy was the complete opposite of how he always felt when he was with Boston.
“Are you okay man?” asked Boston concernedly, after Josh started rubbing his feet together roughly like he always did when he was anxious.
Josh’s stomach lurched a little and he thought “fuck, he can tell something is wrong with me, he must know I’m starting to crush on him.” Sure, the thought was irrational but when you have a new crush on a friend that you are certain is unrequited, you start to question everything. You feel scared that they will find out about your crush and stop being your friend, something that genuinely hurt Josh to even think about.
“Um, what do you mean?” asked Josh a little shakily.
“I don’t know man, you just…don’t really seem like yourself all of the sudden,” said Boston.
“Oh, I don’t know…yeah, I guess my mind is just a little fried right now for some reason,” replied Josh, now shivering slightly even though he wasn’t at all cold. He was anticipating something bad to happen with this conversation. Boston also was feeling a little weird, it wasn’t like Josh to be so cagey like this.
“What’s wrong?? You know you can talk to me about anything right?” asked Boston, a look of genuine concern on his face.
Josh felt his eyes burning as if wanting to tear up but he fought it. Boston’s words didn’t help Josh’s feelings for him right now at all. He thought about how good of a friend Boston was and it made him feel a even more guilty about how he was betraying his trust. But even still, it also made him feel good that Boston cared about him.
“I don’t know what it is man, maybe I’m just feeling a little homesick or something,” lied Josh, who had yet to look at Boston.
“I can understand that but just remember I’m here with you, you still got me. Hey,” said Boston as he put a hand on Josh’s shoulder when he still wouldn’t look Boston in the face, pushing it down to try to make him look back at him. Josh finally stopped rubbing his feet together and forced himself to look at Boston and Boston could tell something was really wrong.
“I love you man, you know that right? I’m right here,” he told Josh seriously.
Josh couldn’t suppress a smile, Boston had such a genuine look on his face that made Josh feel warm inside. This was also the first time that Boston had ever outright told him that he loved him. Josh knew Boston loved him as a friend but it was no less comforting to hear him say it out loud.
“I know man, I love you too. Please don’t think I’m not happy to be here with you, it’s nothing like that,” said Josh, a little embarrassed.
“I know man, I know. I’m sure alot of freshman are starting to feel a little homesick, we’ve never been away from our families and friends like this before,” said Boston sympathetically.
“Yeah that’s true. Thanks man, that makes me feel a little better,” said Josh honestly, even though he wasn’t actually feeling homesick. He just couldn’t help but feel good hearing Boston being so sweet to him.
It was unusual for Boston to be the one to draw Josh’s feelings out of him. He was always sympathetic and kind, but he normally just waited for Josh to talk about his feelings instead of starting a conversation about it himself. He had no reason not to trust that Josh was being honest with him so he truly didn’t want him to feel homesick. He just wanted Josh to be happy to be there with him.
As for Josh, he normally had no problem with expressing his feelings to Boston but this situation was different. He couldn’t just vent to Boston about his feelings for him and maybe that’s part of what made this situation so hard for him. He didn’t feel like he could talk about this with anyone and for such a sensitive and emotional person like Josh, it really weighed on him. But for now, Josh really was feeling much better.
“Good, its gonna be a long year and we gotta help get eachother through it,” said Boston. “So are you gonna be okay?”
Josh smiled at Boston and nodded his head. Boston couldn’t help but smile back at Josh and then, before he could change his mind, he reached over and grabbed Josh’s arm to pull him over to him. Josh hesitated for just a small fraction of a second before letting Boston pull him into his body. Josh buried his head into Boston’s chest and threw his arm around his stomach just as he’d done the night before. Boston felt an odd sense of triumph as if he’d just won an award. He put his arm around Josh’s upper back and then shifted his body into a little more comfortable of a position.
Josh knew he should probably break the hug before he started to crave this kind of thing all the time but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was already hooked and Boston didn’t let him go either. Josh decided he’d worry about things tomorrow, but he was going to be happy tonight in Boston’s arms. That felt so much easier than fighting his feelings tonight, even if it was going to make things harder later on. It was a future problem for future Josh to figure out.