Me — Not so far.
Miss Melissa — But you still went over to be her house boi? After the pegging?
Me — Yes.
Miss Melissa — And that was ok you didn’t fuck at all?
Me — I still enjoyed being there like that.
Miss Melissa — hmmmmm. Can I say something?
Me — Sure.
Miss Melissa — Maybe you’re coming to the end of sex with women. Maybe this is getting more real for you.
Me — That’s interesting.
Miss Melissa — Not like you haven’t had a lot anyway, but talking to you these years, bdsm is changing you. More open. You don’t seem surprised either.
Me — You saying it resonates with me. It’s been liberating to learn about bdsm. Maybe that was it.
Miss Melissa — And that freeing up is letting your sexuality evolve. Or maybe just rise up. That was what?
Me — You get it. So maybe I was trying to imprint that on her.
Miss Melissa — Imprint?
Me — Maybe wanting her to be more like you are. But that’s not her.
Miss Melissa — Me? You thought of me like that?
Me — Sure. Lots.
Miss Melissa — I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!
Me — I thought having a real life relationship with her would be healthier.
Miss Melissa — I think that’s good. I mean, she was kind of good for you.
Me — I thought so. I certainly learned I like being submissive and it’s a good relationship role for
me.
Miss Melissa — Well that, but you’re more gay now too. No?
Me — Yeah I think you’re right.
Miss Melissa — You went to Folsom with her and look how good that went.
Me — That just reinforced it for me.
Miss Melissa — It felt good for you to explore. You need more.
Me — Oh for sure.
Miss Melissa — So maybe that’s kind of where you are now.
Me — Where?
Miss Melissa — Maybe not totally gay, but sex with women is probably in your past now.
Me — I like you though.
Miss Melissa — You want to have sex with me though?
Me — Does pegging count?
Miss Melissa — lol no. You want to eat my pussy? You want to get hard and fuck me? Shoot your load in my wet cunt?
Me — I never really thought of you like that.
Miss Melissa — I know you like me but how do you think of me?
Me — Domme definitely.
Miss Melissa — I have to say, you really took to being a house boi. Submission is working well for you. I can tell you feel better just by our chats.
Me — For sure.
Miss Melissa — Was it better than the sex? Just being her house boi? Be honest.
Me — I think so. Yes.
Miss Melissa — It was easy for you to serve like that. No pressure for sex.
Me — Pressure, yes. Great word. For sure. Almost a relief.
Miss Melissa — Relief? Not having sex with her was a relief?
Me — Yeah I could just focus on being her house boi.
Miss Melissa — Are you hearing yourself?
Me — What?
Miss Melissa — When was the last time you did pussy?
Me — Probably last year the first time we fucked but then we did anal anyway.
Miss Melissa — Do you miss it? Be honest.
Me — I haven’t really thought about it.
Miss Melissa — Wow. I think she helped you turn a corner.
Me — How so?
Miss Melissa — You’re much gayer than I thought! I love it!
Me — You think? I don’t know. I still like some girls. You.
Miss Melissa — But you’ve moved past a sexual need for women. And men turn you on sexually. You admitted it the first time I asked. I’ve got tons of gay sex pics we send all the time. There’s no women in those is there?
Me — hmmmm. Well no. It’s easy to open up to you. You’re naturally Domme and it fits really nice.
Miss Melissa — We really get along like a house on fire and we’ve never met! Hey, it’s cool! I think this is a huge breakthrough for you. How do you feel right now.
Me — Humiliated.
Miss Melissa — And you’re probably hard as a rock.
Me — Semi.
Miss Melissa — That’s what you were missing from her.
Me — What?
Miss Melissa — The humiliation. You wanted her to humiliate you for your (strong) gay tendencies but you said she’s not a talker.
Me — oh wow yeah. Part of it for sure.
Miss Melissa — What’s the other part?
Me — Being the house boi. I certainly liked that.
Miss Melissa — But both is ideal. And the cfnm.
Me — Yes. Absolutely. I’m not sure what to do now with this.
Miss Melissa — You’re a new boi! hee. How are you feeling about this? It’s a lot.
Me — No, I feel good. Not sure what to tell her though.
Miss Melissa — Yay! hmmm. Don’t tell her anything. Just don’t bother.
Me — At all? Ghost her?
Miss Melissa — Well, if she really wants a house boi she’ll tell you. I don’t think she’s your problem. This is a new you to explore and if she’s not willing to guide you and help you with what you really need, then don’t waste your time.
Me — Eh ok. Fuck it then.
Miss Melissa — That was easy! lol
Me — I feel pretty good. I need to work on this though.
Miss Melissa — Yes you do. And Miss Melissa wants to help if you’re interested.
Me — Yes, please.
Miss Melissa — I have to go pick my kid up, but here’s an easy start. Don’t talk to her anymore.
Me — Deal.
Miss Melissa — yay! ttyl gayboi!
So we’re going to leave it there. This didn’t happen exactly as it’s written, but it’s close. Miss Melissa was always encouraging me to act on my urges and grow. Next time I’ll share my solo gay outing to Dore Alley festival!