Zac’s story – Chapter 20

Gay story: Zac’s story – Chapter 20

Author: Zac22

“Hey sweetie how was work?”

“Long, and I just want to shower and get some sleep.” Logan replied as he walked by to the bathroom.

Great, another night of lonesome silence, I sighed and turned out the light.

Logan crawled into bed after his shower. I was only nearly asleep when I felt him pull me in close. There are a couple different ways he pulls me close. One is just to comfortably sleep and hold me. The other has a very different intended result and this was clearly the latter. Logan kissed my neck and slid his hand around my chest as his pelvis grinded lightly against my backside.

I turned my head, “Where did this come from?”

“I know it’s been awhile, but it’s just been stressful lately. I’m sorry.”

“So what’s different tonight” I rolled over and kissed him.

“Just that I’m horny and miss being with you. Still stressed but I see you here in bed and just want to make love to you like you wouldn’t believe.” He kissed me back running his fingers down my body.

“Well, I can’t argue with that.” I wrapped my leg around him as he rolled over on top of me. Kissing my neck slowly and working his way down my chest he was not going to take his time. He pulled my legs up and began rubbing his cock against my ass getting it slightly wet with his precum. I reached to the bedside drawer and got out a bottle of lubricant and quickly opened it and applied it to Logan’s ready hand.

He quickly lubed himself and me before lining back up, kissing me deeply and entering me just as deeply. Logan thrust quickly and pinned my arms at my sides. He wasn’t in the mood to make love, Logn was in the mood to fuck and fuck he did. Sending burts of passion through me with every motion. He was gaining force and getting rough. He turned me to my side and proceeded from behind. Logan reached under my arm and grabbed my shoulder pulling me into him. My moans and grunts grew louder and louder.

He could hear the climax in my voice and quickly told me to get on top. He rolled to his back and I quickly straddled him as he entered me again. I grabbed hold of the head board for support and began thrusting back onto him. He did his part to thrust up as well. Two fingers entered my mouth and I began sucking them. With his free hand he held my cock and shortly after it erupted onto his chest and up to his face. With that he tossed me back to my stomach and furiously slammed into me making me scream into the pillows.

The force began to hurt but never too badly. I liked it rough that way and he never took it too far. I could feel my cum pressed between my back and his chest, Logan kept going, sweating profusely. I couldn’t scream anymore. I simply moaned and panted into the pillows as I returned to orgasm with a semi hard erection. Logan pulled my waist up and began thrusting from his knees before finally reaching orgasm and filling me with his weeks old load.

Logan fell to the side and pulled me on to him wrapping his arms around me. He fell asleep almost instantly after. I lay there for awhile catching my breath. My mouth was dry so I slid out of bed, put some sweatpants on and walked out to the kitchen.

“Oh hey, sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“Oh no, I was just getting some water. Have we met?” I asked.

“No, I’m a friend of Nate’s. Name’s Jack. I was just headed out.”

“Oh cool. I’m Zac, Nate’s brother-in-law. You guys come in from the pub? You’re welcome to stay in a guest room if you’d like. Don’t want you to make you drive if you’ve been drinking all night.” I offered.

“Nah, I’m alright, we didn’t really have that much to drink. I’ll be just fine. I can let myself out. Nice meeting you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” I took a quick drink and briefly pondered that strange encounter before heading back to bed.

“Nate is really starting to get on my nerves.”

“That’s sort of a random to bring up in the shower.” I replied jokingly.

Logan turned around to face me, “Whatever, it’s just bugging me.”

“What is?” I shut the water off and stepped out.

“He’s just so fucking irresponsible.” Logan groaned grabbing a towel to dry off.

“Why do you say that? He’s got a job and he’s going to school. He’s doing well in his classes and he’s respectful of our place.”

“Is he? He comes home drunk with his buddies or a random girl he picks up.”

“I’ve never seen him bring his buddies home and besides, he always goes to his room and is never noisy. Not that we could hear if he were.”

“He’s brought a couple of his friends here. I usually catch them leavin late at night.” We walked out to the bedroom and began getting dressed. “I just think he needs to grow out of this partying thing. Getting drunk every weekend isn’t good for him.”

“I don’t know babe. I haven’t seen your brother drunk in a long time. He usually just goes out and has a couple and by the time he comes home he’s not even drunk or disruptive. Hell, anytime he brings a friend home they are sober enough to leave that night.” I put on my shirt and stood in front of Logan and bent over for a kiss. “I think you are overreacting.”

“Maybe.” Logan got up and we walked out to the living room.

“See, and he doesn’t even walk around half naked like you thought. He’s always dressed when he’s out of his room.”

“Am I missing something?” Nate turned his head in confusion.

“Your brother is complaining that you are too much of a party animal bringing girls and friends home and getting drunk.”

“Twat.” Nate shot at Logan.

“Oh lighten up, he’s just noticing a pattern. I set him straight. In fact, I mentioned I haven’t seen you drunk in a long time and even when you have a friend over he is always sober enough to go home that night.” I sat down on the couch while Logan made his way to the kitchen.

“What friends?” Nate asked.

“Just we’ve bumped in to a couple guys late at night who let themselves out. Not like the girls you bring home. Apparently they need to be pretty smashed to go home with you.” I joked and laughed at Nate.

“Whatever,” Nate rolled his eyes, “I don’t drink that much. I just like to go out and hangout with some nice people. Sure, sometimes I bring a girl home but they aren’t skanks I pick up. I know them and sometimes we get together. If I’m out with friends sometimes I crash at their place and sometimes one of the guys comes back here to chill.” Nate got defensive and directed it at Logan.

“Ok, ok, you’re more responsible than I thought.” Logan walked into the living room and sat down. “Just venting a bit. No need to attack me for it.”

“I think I’m finally used to living here, Carrie.”

“You’re kidding right?” Carrie looked up from her newspaper.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the office fridge, “No, seriously.”

“You’ve been here for years hun. You are one slow learner.” Carrie laughed.

It’s true. I’d turned 25 and Logan was approaching 30. We’d gone through a wedding, a skipped funeral, and Nate making his way through a graduate degree. He still lived with us but was planning on moving out soon. I have to admit, I’ll miss him. He keeps us balanced at home and when Logan is out of town, like now, it’s nice to have someone at home.

“I know I’ve been here a long time, but I’m really beginning to feel like this is home. I like it.” I leaned back on a table and smiled.

“So I guess now that you are comfortable, you are ready for some baby talk.” Carrie turned in her chair and smirked at me.

“Oh no, settle down girly. We’re not talking kids yet. It’s been mentioned, but we’re not ready for that until Nate is out of the apartment and-“

“And what?” Carrie interrupted. “You are set in your job with no worries, Logan makes some serious cash and you have a sodding cathedral for a home. I mean really, you’re apartment is way too big for just the two of you and you’re not hurting in any area of your life. Why aren’t you looking at starting a family? I mean, don’t you want kids?”

I stood there absorbing her rant. I began thinking about us having kids.

“Ah, a smile. You do! You want children.”

“Ok, maybe it would be nice to have one maybe two but that’s the limit.”

“Oh, I’m so excited. You two are starting a family.” Carrie got excited and stood up from her desk. “Janet, Logan and Zac are finally going to have kids!”

“Would you stop that!” I sat her back down. “No we’re not. Just considering it.” I raised my voice to the office to override Carrie’s announcement. “Don’t be starting that. Logan isn’t even in home right now. Can you imagine how angry he’d be if he came back to the office with everyone talking about us having kids?”

“Well, you have talked about it.” Carrie frowned from me stomping on her gossip, “Haven’t you?”

“Yes, a little. I just want one. He might want two. I mean, we have the room for two, but not at the same time. Maybe we’ll have one to start, and then later have another.” A smile came back to my face. “Maybe I will bring it up to Logan when he gets back.” Carrie began to smile again, “But don’t you dare turn this gossipy office onto that. At least give me until Logan gets home and we can discuss it.” Carrie rolled her eyes and sighed in concession.

“Hey sweetie, how’s your trip?” I asked.

There was a lot of extra noise in the background but Logan replied, “Good, I just can’t wait to be home. We have one more project meeting here then I’ll be flying back tonight. Have to set the new season’s campaign in motion. So how are things back home?”

“Good, I ummm.” I paused wondering if I should mention anything over the phone. “I was wondering if we could talk when you got home about something important?”

“Is something wrong?”

“No, I was just talking to Carrie at the office today and she got me thinking.”

“Uh oh, what about?” Logan’s sarcasm squeaked out. He knows how gossipy and meddling Carrie is.

“Well, I think maybe it’s time for us to talk about possibly having kids.” I paused and waited for a reply. The pause seemed endless.

I could actually hear the smile in his voice, “I would love to talk about kids when I get home baby. You know I want to start a family. I just didn’t know if you were ready.”

I wave of happiness crashed over me. “Perfect baby, I can’t wait for you to get home!”

“Me too, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Can’t wait.”

“Love you”

“Love you too.”

We hung up and I packed up my desk. I wasn’t going to get any more work done today so I left early and went to see Susan for an early dinner.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna be an aunt!” Susan screamed.

“Settle down, we’re just going to talk about it tonight when he gets home. It’s going to take a long time to actually go through the process.”

“Well sure, you have a lot to think about. So what do you think? You want to adopt or surrogate?” Susan put her elbows up ion the table and ignored her food, “I’ll donate eggs for you two or do you want to use Logan’s sperm? Or do you want to adopt? A baby or someone older?”

“Susan, slow down. I have no idea.” I sat back confused by the bombarding of questions. I paused to sort through them all and try to answer. “I guess I don’t care if it’s biological. I’ll have to ask Logan. I wouldn’t mind adopting. I mean there are so many kids out there that would be stuck in foster homes. No need to have a biological child if we can help someone who really needs it. I don’t really know if we’d adopt a baby or a little older. Not too old though. I’d like to actually raise him.”

We kept discussing over dinner. It was fairly cold by the time we really got to eat but it didn’t matter. We were both too excited to care.

I got home to an empty apartment. I had expected to hear from Logan when he landed or from Nate to see what he was doing tonight but I had left my cell at the office. My mind was in the clouds and I just didn’t have my head on straight. No problem though. I could pick up my cell tomorrow. Tonight was about staying in and talking about kids. My heart was racing in excitement. Logan should be home soon and I don’t know if he’ll be able to keep up.

I made my way to the bedroom and changed into more comfortable clothes and started to walk out to the living room when the phone rang.

My mind went numb, my body fell to the hallway wall and the phone dropped to the floor splitting in two pieces with the battery flying out. What was said, I don’t know. Who called, I’m not sure. I was outside of myself looking into the hallway, an out-of-body experience. I could see myself sliding down the wall until I was on the ground. My face was pale; my eyes were blurred. I didn’t make a sound. My breathing seemed to stop as if I had forgotten how.

Some people say they have had out-of-body experiences when they are in an accident and can see the paramedics reviving them. Some see a bright light. Everyone is different. This was new. I didn’t know what I was thinking. I was in shock for sure, but why. I couldn’t understand myself. I was on the floor, pale, water flowing from my eyes, barely breathing. Who was that on the phone? I was concerned but not yet panicked outside of myself.

Suddenly I saw my body gasp hard struggling for oxygen. I had remembered to breath and I was sucked back into my body. The call was a blur. All I could remember: “Tried….cellular…crash….Logan’s plane”

“LOGAN!” I screamed. Tears poured and my breath lost control. I was panting, heart racing.

The door flung open, Nate’s head turned and found me in the hall. He ran over and dropped to his knees sliding the last few feet. He flung the pieces of phone to the side and pulled me into his arms.

I began wailing into his shirt, his wrapped me in his arms and put his face on the top of my head. Tears ran down his face and into my hair.

We sat there in the hall for an unknown amount of time. Nothing made sense anymore. Every reality was blurred in emotion and we were trapped with no answers to our confusion.

Then reality returned and I longed for the daze of a moment ago. The gaps in the call were being filled. The call was from my office. They had tried to call me on my cellular phone. There was an accident. The company plane crashed. Logan was in it. There are no survivors.

No survivors. The words floated in my brain. No SURVIVORS, NO survivors, no one survived. NO ONE.

Logan! Logan was dead…

Numbness sank in and my heart pounded.

My vision began to blur and darken. My eyes were open and all I saw was black.

I took hard shallow breaths until they slowed.

My heart rate dropped and I gasped deeply. I focused on breathing deep and my eyes refocused.

I calmed my breathing and found myself on the couch in Nate’s arms. I looked around collecting my thoughts. It was pitch black outside. It was the middle of the night. At some point Nate got me off the floor, but I know he never left my side. His face was still wet and his eyes were red from crying with me.

So it was true. The reality was that Logan, the love of my life, my husband, the man I was going to have children with, the one person who never hurt me, the man I love, my world, was gone forever.

This story is far from over as long as you guys want to hear how it ends. I know many of you are upset with me for the way the last part ended but that is just how the story was meant to go. I have predetermined how it will go and I can’t please everyone. Frankly, we don’t always get happy endings and you’ll just have to accept some of the drama and bad times and hope for the best in the future. Just keep hoping for the best and I’ll continue posting the story. If you haven’t read this storyline before, go back and read part 6 as it contains the whole story thus far. As always, keep the comments coming.

“How’s he doin?” Susan asked.

“He hasn’t left the apartment in 2 months except to see his grief counselor but that’s clearly not helping.” Nate said, exhaustedly. He sighed and looked down the hall to Zac’s room. “All he does is lie in bed. I have to tell him to shower and make him eat.” Nate shook his head in sadness, “I don’t know what else to do for him.”

“There’s nothing more you can do. You’ve done more than enough. You’ve stayed strong through this and I know he appreciates that.”

Nate sniffled and wiped a tear from his face, “I just feel like I could be doing more.”

“Nate, let me take you to lunch. He’ll be fine here. You need to get out and give yourself a little space from this and then we can come back and try to get Zac to do the same.” Susan put her hand on Nate’s shoulder and guided him to the door.

Nate saw the look in her eyes. She gets that look only when she means business and there’s no going against her then. Nate shrugged off, “Let me just go let him know we’re going out.”

Nate jogged to Zac’s room and came back out a moment later. “Just for an hour, ok?”

“Fine.” Susan agreed and they headed out.

Nate wasn’t hungry but Susan brought him out to a nearby park for a walk. The fresh air helped Nate calm down some. The fresh air was good for him and he took several deep breaths.

“So how are you doing?” Susan asked.

“I’m doin the best I can. I just don’t know what else I can do.”

“Are you talking about you or Zac? I want t oknow how you are feeling. You need to think about yourself a little right now.”

“No I can’t. Zac needs me. Logan was all he had here and he’s gone. I can’t let him down.”

Susan wanted to interject but saw Nate opening up so she let him talk.

Nate took a deep breath, “The man he loves is gone Susan. I was there that night. I saw the look in his face. It was like I was looking at a ghost. All the life, the happiness, the will to live was gone from him. It broke my heart to see him like that.”

Susan turned her head and looked at Nate. She put her hand on his back and guided him to sit on a bench.

“It hurts to see him everyday without any hope. He wakes up in the morning and cries. I check on him everyday and make him shower just to get him out of bed. I only get him to the couch a few hours a day and he goes back to bed and just stares at the emptiness. I can’t help Susan. I’m doing everything I can and I wish with all my heart I could, but I’m just not good enough.” Nate wiped tears from his eyes and leaned on his knees taking few deep breaths trying to keep composure, it was no use.

Susan looked at him and tried to make sense of Nate’s emotions. Then it hit her. Nate didn’t think he was good enough. Why? What was he trying to be good enough for? “Nate, are you-“ she paused and reassessed her question. “Are you in love with Zac?”

“No” Nate sniffled and turned his head toward the park.

“Nate, look at me,” Susan’s eyes got wide as she demanded and he turned his head to her, “Are you in love with him?”

Nate sighed and lowered his head.

“Oh my god, Nathan.” She pulled him in a hug. She looked up and all around. She looked all around to find some sense in all of this. She searched for something to say. Susan tried to make this mess have some cohesion, to make this crisis make sense and fix this broken man in her arms and the broken man in his empty apartment.

“Ok,” Susan took a deep breath and finally spoke while holding her brother in her arms. “Nathan, you have to help me understand this. I want to help you and I will help you, but I need to know exactly what’s going on with you. Are you gay?”

Nate shook his head no in her arms. The sight was odd to onlookers. This small woman holding a large crying man in her arms.

“But you are in love with Zac?”

Nate nodded his head.

“I’m going to need you to explain this to me Nathan. I can’t guess my way through this.”

Nate sat up and took a few deep breaths as Susan rubbed his back gently. “I don’t know what I am. I have always loved women but I’ve always been attracted to men too. I thought it was normal because it was just physical and I only ever was interested in being with a woman. I never been emotionally attracted to a man. I’ve been that way with women and-“ Nate wiped more tears away and tried to find the words he needed, “Fuck.”

“It’s ok, keep going.” Susan whispered.

“I have only been in relationships with women and only looked at certain men. Then Logan and Zac moved into their flat. I wasn’t attracted to Zac. I really wasn’t. He was just my brother’s boyfriend. Then I spent a lot of time with Zac. He didn’t know anyone here so I showed him around whenever Logan couldn’t. We spent a lot of time together and then after awhile I started seeing my friends less and less and was spending more and more time with Zac.

Nothing bad, just spending time with him. Then I wasn’t going out or seeing any girls and stopped dating and mum died and I just didn’t do anything else but go to class and hang out with Zac and Logan.” Nate spilled his guts while Susan put all the pieces together. “I fell in love with Zac and thought maybe I was gay. Maybe, I needed to find a man to date.” He took a deep breath, “I went out to a gay club and saw a guy I recognized from school and went over to talk to him. He was cool and so I went home with him.”

Susan’s head shot back in shock.

Nate noticed her shock and ended her assumptions, “We didn’t do anything. I couldn’t. I wanted to but I couldn’t. We talked some and I went home. We met a few more times and he introduced me to a couple other guys. I went to their flat, they came home with me, but we never did more than hug and kiss some. I was attracted to them, but I didn’t have feelings for any of them.

I just couldn’t go any further with them and each of them gave up one by one.” Nate looked up at Susan, “I’ve loved women and I am still attracted to women. I am attracted to men, but I’ve only ever had feelings for one.” Nate slowed down his speech saying one word at a time and asked Susan, “What-the-hell-is-wrong-with-me?”

“Nate, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re bisexual hon. You may have loved women in the past but you’ve always had the ability to love a man too and now you’ve fallen in love with Zac. The mess we’re in now is that He just lost the man he loves and you lost your brotha and haven’t grieved. Zac will be alright. He’s grieving and will recover, but you can’t ignore the loss of you brotha.” Susan sighed. “How about you let me take care of Zac for awhile and you focus on you.”

Nate composed himself and they headed back to see Zac. When they walked in, Zac was standing in the hall.

“I’m going home.” Zac said stoically.

“What are talking about?” Nate asked.

“I’m going back to the States. I need to get away from here for a while. I already told work that I wouldn’t be back. You can stay living here Nate, it’s paid for and all taken care of. There’s plenty of money left from what was promised to Logan and myself from the team. I just need to get away and see my family.” Zac turned around and went into his room to pack.

Nate started walking toward him but Susan grabbed his shoulder, “Let him go Nate. He needs this and so do you.”

Zac didn’t waste time as he booked a flight home for the next day and left quickly. Nate went home to an empty apartment. He sat on the couch, took a deep breath and began to cry. This time he did not cry for Zac, he did not cry over his sexuality, he did not cry over confusion, he did not cry over loneliness. This time, Nate cried for his brother. This time, Nate grieved for Logan and the realization that he will never see his big brother again.

Upon landing, Zac saw the one person who could truly help him. Zac saw the one man who knew just how to get him through. Randy stood by his car with a somber look on his face. Zac walked straight too him, dropped his bags and fell into his arms.

Randy squeezed his best friend and put him in the car before loading his luggage and driving him home.