Jon started reading through forum posts and by the end he felt more confused than ever. Mostly because, part of him identified with it and part of him did not. He knew he wasn’t attracted to men. He didn’t want to have sex with men or even date them. He wasn’t attracted to Manuel either. He was his best friend and he loved him like a friend, but he didn’t want to be with him. But he thought about the smell of Manuel’s dick and his chest felt tight and his face heated up with desire. Some of these dudes talked about being in love with cock and only cock. They didn’t care about the guy attached to the cock, but they enjoyed sucking dick, tasting it, playing with it, and feeling it in their mouths. Jon had never thought about any of that before, he had never had too.
Outside of a joke it wasn’t something he’d ever seriously considered doing. Could he do it though? He felt uncertain, which made him uneasy. One of the things dudes talked about on that website was that you couldn’t know if it was real until you tried it. He couldn’t ask that of Manuel. The thought of telling him was terrifying. It would ruin their friendship. The thought of picking up some random guy made him feel sick, too. An idea occurred to him as to what he could do.
A few days later he was opening a package from Amazon. He’d bought a set of life-like dildos in various sizes. They were supposedly meant for the purpose of training your body to take larger and larger sizes. He’d heard about this kind of thing from the forum. He would be using them for something less ambitious. Twenty minutes later he found himself with Manuel’s unwashed jock in one hand and a six inch dildo in the other hand. He held the cup of the jock up to his nose. The sweat had tried out but it still held on to the faint unique scent of Manny. He let himself drift off into mindlessness as he started sucking on the head of the dildo.
Four weeks later they were back on the road. This time they were traveling a little out of state for a championship boxing match. They made an overnight stop at a hotel and decided to share a room for cost effectiveness. Their relationship hadn’t been the same in the last month and it was obvious that Manuel had noticed how awkward Jon was around him and that he was actively avoiding him.
“You want to stop by the bar we saw on the way in, get something to eat?” Manuel asked Jon as they dropped their bags off in the room.
“Nah, I’m good.” He felt Manuel’s energy shift suddenly from friendly to tense.
“Dude, is there something wrong? You’ve been avoiding the fuck out of me for weeks.” Jon couldn’t think of an appropriate response. He just stood there and said nothing. Manuel left the room in a cloud of anger and frustration. A few hours later Manuel returned, more than a little bit drunk. Manuel demanded to know what was up. Jon suspected there had been some crying involved earlier. He felt like trash. He was letting this eat up their friendship in the same way it was eating him up inside to keep it a secret. So he told him the truth.
“You fucking what?” Manuel said, staring at him, suddenly more sober than he’d been a minute ago. “You want to do what?” he said as he sat down in a chair by one of the beds. Jon tried to respond but Manuel kept talking. “Oh my god, my jock! That’s why…I thought some creep…oh my God!” Manuel stood back up so fast Jon flinched which Manuel didn’t seem to notice as he turned away. They became silent for what felt like forever. Jon had ruined everything.
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. It’s like it snuck up on me out of nowhere and I couldn’t control it.” Manuel turned to him, a serious look in his eyes.
“You’re not gay or bi? Jon, you know it’s okay if you’re fucking gay, man! I mean, I’m not thrilled that it was me but, like…”
“No, I’m not fucking gay! I swear!” He started talking about the email and the website, saying how he was just straight, but this was just one thing. And it wasn’t about Manuel himself. He didn’t have any feelings like that, just for..well..his cock. Manuel listened. He was absorbing every word and then when Jon was finished Manuel got up and left without saying anything. Jon just sat there frozen on the bed. It was over. About twenty minutes later Manuely returned. He was even drunk than before, but he spoke clearly when he looked at Jon and said:
“Okay, let’s get this over with.” Jon looked up at him, confused at what he meant. Did he want to fight?
“What?”
“Let’s go, dude,” Manuel said as he started unzipping his jeans. “I don’t want this standing between us. If this is something you need then we’re going to do it. Once. Get it out of your system.” Once. Get it out of his system, Jon thought. As he watched Manuel pull off his jeans his mind started to spin. He could see the trail of Manuel’s hair from his stomach to the waistband of his boxers. He could see the impression of Manuel’s half hard cock against his buttoned fly. His heart was racing.
“Are you sure, man?” Jon asked. Manny nodded, seeming determined as he walked over to where Jon was sitting on the bed.
“Yes. I’m sure. I would do anything for you, man!” he said, smiling a sloppy, drunk smile down at Jon. “Just, don’t touch me, okay. I don’t…I don’t want you to touch me, This is just about the dick, okay?” Manuel nodded assuringly.
Jon leaned closer to Manuel’s crotch and he could already smell Manuel’s sweat through the faint fabric. He cautiously brought his nose to the fabric and felt the heat of Manuel’s junk against his face. He breathed in. His eyes fluttered in bliss. It was a clean kind of dirty smell. It was the smell of balls after a long day of walking in the summer heat, and something about it was unique to Manuel’s own chemistry. It made Jon a little crazy. He grabbed the waistband of Manuel’s boxers and pulled them down, revealing a thicket of dark black pubic hair. He stuck his nose in the bush and inhaled deeply. He moaned silently. After weeks of using an old jock with a fading scent he went wild at finally being back at the source.
He pulled the boxers the rest of the way down and was surprised to find Manuel was partially hard. His cock was actually quite impressive. At half mast he looked like he was close to seven inches. His cock was dark brown and thick. His circumcised head was pronounced, and the sight of it elicited a salivating response from Jon’s mouth. It was a beautiful cock. That was a thought that left Jon feeling dissociated from his own self. He’d never had that thought about a cock before, but it was true. He paused for a moment to admire it, but he wasn’t going to suck it just yet, he had other plans. He buried his nose in the space between Manuel’s thighs and his balls. The smell was so much darker there. The stink of male pheromones flooded his brain as he felt Manuel’s public hair tickle his face. Manny’s ballsack was loose and stretchy against his chin. Fuck, he was going to enjoy this, he thought.
Jon slid off the bed and got on his knees. Manuel’s balls were pretty big and hung loose and low. They were covered in curly, black hairs and a light sheen of sweat. Jon pressed his nose into the balls and breathed the scent in for a moment, enjoying it. He rubbed his face against the sac which got a sharp inhale from Manuel at the sensation of Jon’s beard scratching against the sensitive skin. Jon kept going, sucking one ball into his mouth, finally allowing himself to get a taste. He was surprised to realize how much he was enjoying it. A moan from Manuel made Jon look up from where his face was buried in Manuel’s tightening balls and saw that Manuel’s cock was now hard and starting to leak small droplets of precum. From Jon’s position the cock towered over his face. It was long and pulsing with hardness. It was at least eight and a half inches at that point and had grown even thicker in girth than it was before. A bead of clear precum swelled at the tip of the fat helmet head. His heart fluttered with