“He did, but he got laid off in the latest round of redundancies so his father asked Dad if he could give him a job.”
“Your dads know each other?”
“Yep. They’re best mates.”
“How did I not know this?”
“I guess it just never came up,” Josh said as they rolled to a stop. He gently patted Levi’s knee and whispered, “It’s okay, Levi. I’ll protect you from big scary Lucas.”
Levi glanced over to make sure Lucas wasn’t within hearing shot. “As if I need protecting from that moron.”
“The birthday boy has arrived,” Lucas bellowed as he promptly approached the car.
Josh hopped out of the vehicle and greeted Lucas with a firm handshake. “Good to see you, man.”
Levi remained seated. He was in no rush to get out and say hello to the man Sophie had replaced him with. He smoothed his hands down the front of his jeans before taking a deep breath and opening the door. As soon as he stepped out of the vehicle, his nostrils were hit with a grassy pong from the freshly mowed lawn.
“I see you brought Richie Rich with ya,” Lucas boomed in a loud voice.
Levi waved, suppressing his annoyance, and strolled over. “Hey, Lucas. How are you?”
“I’m good, mate. Yaself?” He put his hand out to shake Levi’s hand as if there was no sour history between them.
“Not too bad, thanks.” Levi accepted the handshake and Lucas instantly squeezed his fingers so hard he thought his bones would crack.
“Where’s Dad?” Josh asked.
“He’s just inside finishing off your birthday present.” Lucas hitched his eyebrows.
“Wow. I’m impressed. He doesn’t usually get me anything,” Josh said, sadly not joking.
“Well, he has this year,” Lucas replied, rubbing his giant hands down the front of his sweat-stained shirt. “He tells me you boys are off fishing tomorrow.”
Josh nodded. “Sure are.”
Lucas eyed Levi suspiciously. “I didn’t pick a fancy guy like you to be into fishing?”
Levi laughed away the insult. “I am a man of many hidden talents.”
“Levi loves fishing,” Josh said. “As long as I put the bait on the hook for him and cast out the line.”
“Fuck off.” Levi huffed a non-laugh. “I am more than capable of baiting my own hook.”
“I’d believe that,” Lucas said. “You should be good at working your hands around little pieces of meat considering the size of your cock.”
“Lay off on the cock jokes, Lucas. My mate here doesn’t have a baby dick.” Josh threw Levi a cheeky glance. “Do you?”
Levi wasn’t going to dignify that with an answer.
“I’m sorry, Candy. I shouldn’t give ya grief about stuff like that.” Lucas smiled. Not a nice smile, either. It was full of mockery. “To be fair, Sophie has only ever seen two guys naked and one of them just happens to be me, so I guess ya bound to look little by comparison.”
“Are you insinuating that you’re stiff competition,” Josh joked, attempting to lighten the tension.
Lucas patted his crotch down, smiling. “The stiffest.”
A brief pause settled among them before Josh spoke. “Did you wanna come in and join us for a drink? I think we might have enough to share.” His eyes strayed to the backseat of his car where the four bottles were resting in the bag.
Lucas stepped forward, looked through the window, and began to chuckle. “You two will die of bloody alcohol poisoning if you go through all that in one night.”
“I’d say that’s a strong possibility,” Josh returned.
“I wish I could join in, but I gotta head off. Sophie’s parents are babysitting Mia for us so we can have some alone time… if you know what I mean.”
Josh laughed. “I think we do.”
Lucas’s hand dug into his pocket and retrieved his phone. “This is Mia now. Hasn’t she grown?” The proud father began scrolling through pictures in his phone, showing off his ugly offspring.
“She’s cute as, man,” Josh said genuinely. “She mustn’t take after you.”
Lucas laughed. “Not at all. I think she looks more like her mum. But yeah, she’s definitely a little cutie,” he said in a soft voice wrapped in pride. “Don’t you think, Levi?” He shoved the phone in Levi’s direction.
“Yep. Very cute,” he mumbled. As far as Levi was concerned, anything that shit itself and dribbled was not cute.
Lucas put his phone back in his pocket and stepped around to the driver’s side of his ute. “Right, I’ll catch you boys another time. Happy birthday, Josh, and good luck catching some snapper.”
They stood and watched Lucas reverse down the driveway before they grabbed their bags and the alcohol from the car, and made their way towards the front door of Dwight’s house.
“I can’t believe how much of a fuckwit that guy is,” Levi muttered.
“He can be a bit cringe, but I don’t think he means any harm.”
“You reckon? You ain’t the one he keeps saying has a little cock.”
“It’s okay, buddy. I still luff ya.” Josh put his arm around Levi’s shoulder, reeling him in for a one arm hug. “Even if you do have a baby dick.”
“Oh, har, har. Very funny,” Levi said, breaking away from the hug. “It’s all good though. Lucas can make fun of my fictitious micropenis all he likes.”
“Oh yeah, why’s that? Are you secretly hung like a porn star?”
“Other than that of course.” Levi grinned wickedly. “Because every time he fucks Sophie, he’s dipping his cock in something I spunked in at least a thousand times.”
Josh grimaced, laughing. “Gross, bro.”
Levi raised his hands, smiling. “It ain’t gross. It’s the truth. He’s fucking welcome to my sloppy seconds, ‘cos trust me, that’s how I left her. Sloppy. The baby would have just finished off the job.”
Josh sighed, shaking his head. “I can’t see how a romantic bugger like you is still single.”
“That’s me. Mr Romantic,” Levi said. “I can romance my way into anyone’s pants.”
“If romance means get them so drunk they don’t know what they’re doing, then I guess you’re right.”
You don’t know how right you are.
***
Josh led the way up the rickety wooden steps to his father’s house. The entrance went straight into the kitchen which was just as crappy as the outside of the house. One look at the state of the kitchen with its stained floors and sink cluttered with dirty dishes told you that Dwight lived like a bachelor, and one who was allergic to cleaning.
Levi ran a finger along the grimy surface of the kitchen bench, leaving his fingertips covered in a sticky grey residue. Nice to see you cleaned up for us, Dwight, he thought sarcastically.
Josh came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the kitchen, calling out to his father, and Levi took the opportunity to perve at his best mate from behind, eyeing the small of his back and firm butt. He trickled his sight down to Josh’s legs, which were glistening with a light sweat that illuminated his natural tan and golden leg hairs. A primal urge coursed through Levi’s veins and he had to use all his strength not to reach out and touch him. He flicked his eyes to the floor and noticed the red canvas sneakers Josh had on, finding himself curious as to the shape and size of his best mate’s feet.
It seemed odd that he would want to know such a detail, something he could have quite easily asked about in the past, but suddenly the idea of asking Josh what size shoe he wore seemed as risky as enquiring about the size of his cock. Every part of Josh was sexual to him now and felt like a secret waiting to be discovered.