Sun 10/24/04
Oh Diary!!! Ricky took me to a gay restaurant, Deanna’s Place. I never even thought about the possibility such places existed. Sure, I heard of gay bars and bathhouses, but places like that but never a restaurant.
It was clear to see who wasn’t gay among the patrons. They were three guys on a date with their girls. Lost in their own world for a while, it slowly dawned on them that many of the men around them were holding hands across the dinner table and leaning in for their intimate conversations, sharing moments only lovers share. The guys got noticeably uncomfortable as one finally notice and pointed this out to his two buddies. It didn’t seem to bother their girlfriends though, so the guys ended up staying, but looking like they wished they’d left.
These six young people felt so out of place that they were now the minority that they showed all over their faces.
This was the perfect place to go. Even though my date (that doesn’t go down so well, does it?) knew many of the folks here, we stayed to ourselves. He told me anecdotes about many of the patrons as he discreetly pointed them out to me. It was so comfortable knowing everyone else (well, almost) was gay. That relieved a lot of pressure! We talked. We laughed. Ricky held my hand across the table. I felt so at ease, when Ricky leaned across the table to kiss me, I met him half way. It was a good place to be gay in.
On the way out, my lover introduced me to the owner of the awesome love nest, Daniel.
Daniel informed me the restaurant was his idea. The name, was his daughter’s name. He felt a female’s name would make the neighborhood a much friendlier place to do business. As we said our good-byes Daniel told me to come often, now that I have found it.
When we got back to my place, we smoked some weed, drank some C. B. and o. j. sitting on my bed. Naked. Ricky made love to me shortly after. After my man came inside of me, we lay in a spoon position while he stayed inside and eventually deflated. His hand reached around my left arm for my cock. Once he found his target, I got the softest, sweetest handjob I ever got, including my own autoerotic pleasures. He leaned close talk very softly directly in my ear “So, what’s your real fantasies? And don’t give me any of that teenage heart breaker shit.” At that exact moment he uttered “shit”, he gave my balls a little squeeze and rolled them against each other. I jumped from the sudden pain, hoping he would do it again.
“Come on. Give me some credit. I did fantasize about her a couple of times, I just couldn’t get a nut when I did. She was a really hot little number, but no matter how great her beauty, she didn’t have her sex organs outside her body. My fantasies really need dick to get me there.” I then proceeded to tell him about my S&M fantasies, except I watered them down to moderate B&D. I did however tell him actual favorite fantasy (also the watered down version) about being enthusiastically throat fucked while lying helplessly on my back, my arms bound under me. I revealed my desire to have no control at all during this time.
“That sounds incredibly hot! We have to do that sometime”, he murmured in my ear. “When you do yourself, what is your favorite part? What is it you do that makes it so good?”
Without hesitation I responded, “Not every time, but often, I use a long lace to tie my nuts up. My favorite way it to spread and bind them. I start by holding both end together. I use the loop as a sling under both balls. Taking two fingers, I draw the sides together, sliding my fingers down them. Once I have my balls completely lassoed, the hand holding the ends takes one end at a time and wraps a couple of very tight loops around each testicle. If each one is securely bound, I then keep wrapping each individually until all the lace is used, leaving enough for a tight knot to secure the ends. This pulls my scrotum tight around each nut and separates them. I then pay them special attention as I pull my own dick imaging myself giving a blowjob to a tough dom.”
Somewhere in the middle of that description, my lover slid his right arm between me and the mattress and enclosed each hand around a testicle, gently squeezing and kneading each one differently. Testing how rough he can get. I believe I surprised him. He almost hit the point where the pain became intensely perverse pleasure and backed off. I took hold of his hand and squeezed. Hard. He seemed hesitant to apply that much pressure. After a brief pause, he resumed squeezing and now applied real pressure, each nut differently but very roughly. I was ecstatic! I became hard as a rock! Painfully hard. I turned my head as far left as I could and searched out my man’s mouth with my own. It was then, when I found it difficult to turn farther, that I realized he had become fully erect again himself.
My tongue probed his mouth finding pleasure in the contact with his while his large, uncut manhood probed the inner reaches of my male vagina. Each time he hit bottom, he squeezed nuts more painfully. Right here, right now, there is no gay emergence to deal with, no loneliness, no sorrows or painful past relationships fret over. All there was, was this gorgeous 30 something young man and the pleasure he was giving me. During that moment I was happy.
Maybe you are helping me Dear Diary. We’ll see, the next time my boyfriend has to leave, when my mood gets dark.
Sat 10/30/04
My throat hurts unbearably today, but it was worth every bit of the pain! I am so happy I told Ricky about my fantasies. He is so willing to help. I had about a 10′ length of clothesline around. It was a little short for a good arm binding, but it was sufficient to keep me from being able to prevent him from having his way with me. To my surprise, he pulled a long shoelace from his pocket and bound my balls similar to the way I do it for myself (I am soooo glad I told him about that). He added a twist of his own. He tied the shoelace tightly to the arm binding. Any time I tried to move my arms, it pulled painfully on my balls.
Ricky then put the couch cushions down in a line on the floor. He laid me down on top of them, my head hanging off the top one, for easier access to my throat. Kneeling down, pushing down my lower jaw and positioning his big, beautiful, uncut manhood in front of my open mouth, my love shoved it balls deep into my oral fuck hole.
He fucked my throat like it was my asshole. Hard, fast, deep. My jaw is sore from his pelvis bouncing off my chin. He really got into it. Before long, he was completely ignoring my helplessness and doing nothing to afford me air. I had to figure out how to breathe on my own. It was VERY difficult, but I managed. Without passing out, as well.
Each thrust pinned me down on my bound arms, bouncing my head off the ground. I was sooo into it! It was just like my fantasy. The more I tried to move, the more pain his cock caused my throat and the more difficult it was to breathe. Several times, he ground his pelvis against my chin, trying to bury his bone even deeper.