“Calm down!” Claudia sat beside him and wrapped an arm around him. “This is what that boy wants and if we’re acting like this, he’s winning. We need to be stronger. Besides, no one knows how you and David got married five years ago except for you, Elena and I. Not even that boy knows what happened. You’ve been with David for the last 5 years; you’ve got a five-year-old son. Nothing can break that.”
Jim glanced at Claudia. “But…”
“Shhh…” She whispered, bringing him into her arms. “It’s okay. Mother is here and nothing is gonna happen, okay.”
‘I will make sure that what happened five years remains a secret, forever if I have to.’ Claudia thought. ‘If my son finds out the truth, I might lose him forever. You’re not gonna win this, Ben. I swear!’
***
The heaviness of the room settled over Ben as he slowly entered, closing the door behind him. Sighing, he slowly walked forwards, his eyes settling on the crib that was on the floor with all the toys that he had bought for his daughter.
His eyes scanned the room, wishing that there was more life to that room. There was a plum and a few other baby stuff that he had refused to dispose. This was the first time he had seen those things since his return. The room was dim but it reflected his emotions so he didn’t even bother turning on the light.
He was lost in melancholic reverie, his eyes haunted by the ghosts of past sorrows that refused to fade. Reaching there, he dropped to his knees and rested his hands on the crib, moving it. It began swinging and he felt a pain in his heart with its movement.
A silent tear traced a path down his cheek, a silent testament to the depths of his misery.
“I don’t know what to feel today, I wasn’t prepared.” He whispered in despair. “I know I promised not to cry on this day but I could not help but think of you, Leah! I met your father and I just couldn’t help but think if you would have survived had he been with us. And maybe if you still hadn’t survived, would I have been feeling this way? Would he have kissed my pain away? Would we have had another child?”
So many questions and yet he couldn’t even find an answer to them. He took his baby’s blanket and covered it around himself, curling into himself, arms tightly wrapped around his body, seeking solace in the comforting embrace of his sorrow.
***
6 years ago…
*
Ben was standing on the beach with his arms wrapped tightly around himself, trying to keep himself warm. It was cold, lonely and he was so scared. That was the first time he had ever spent away from his family and he missed his father. But he couldn’t do anything because the man had disowned him.
“Hey!” He felt a hand on his shoulder.
He glanced across his shoulder and found David staring at him with an assuring smile.
“Are you okay?”
Ben nodded sheepishly, trying to put up a smile. “I am okay, I am just nervous and scared. I don’t know if what we’ve done is the right thing, David.” He sighed. “Especially for you. You left your family, all the luxuries just to be with me in this place. I can’t help but worry about you. How will you cope in this place?”
David laughed. “You’re so sweet.” He took Ben’s hands and held them tightly. “But I’ve made this decision and there’s no turning back. I love you so much, Ben, and spending my entire life in this place with you is better than any luxuries that can be offered to me. I’ll die loving you.”
He got nearer, staring deep into his eyes, their souls connecting.
“I just wanted to apologize for whatever has happened since I came into your life.” His voice was so sincere. “I want to make it up to you. Without my coming into your life, you wouldn’t be in this situation. But then again, I would still be miserable without you.”
“It’s nothing!” He said, blushing.
“It’s not nothing.” He added. “My love, I am so sorry. I didn’t see how important your family is to you. Despite everything that has happened, you still think about them. I just want to let you know that I am really glad that my beautiful baby is a good person.”
Without wasting any time, he pushed his hand in his pocket and knelt in front of Ben, staring at him. When Ben saw what he did and what he was holding, he got so emotional. His heart began racing and tears built in his eyes. He didn’t know how to react.
“My love, in this place where we’re about to start our lives anew and with God as my witness, I vow to love you.” He said with so much passion. “I vow to love everything you do and make sure that you have a family in future. From now on, we will be a happy family. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am not joking.”
Ben couldn’t control himself. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he didn’t even rub them.
“Will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?”
Ben kept on staring at David without giving an answer. He was overcome with a lot of emotions.
“Please, don’t make this any more difficult for me.” He joked. “My knees already hurt. Please say yes.”
Ben laughed. “Yes! I will marry you.”
“Really?” David gasped, feeling like he was finally able to breathe. He carefully put the ring on his finger and it fit so perfectly. It looked so beautiful on him, like it was made for him. “Perfect! Now I can make you mine as soon as possible.”
He rose and pulled him into a tight hug before he locked his lips with his. The kiss was passionate, sweet and heavenly. Ben felt like he was cloud 9 and he didn’t wanna let him go. No one had made him feel so happy and alive before. He wanted to seize that moment. The feel of David’s lips dancing on his was magical.
That night, they made love, sweet love that he enjoyed. Ben felt safe in David’s arms… he felt loved… he felt accepted and he felt blessed. The man was so gentle that he forgot about the initial pain. He was now just in bliss.
Their lives began, though with lots of challenges, they survived. They got married a few weeks later although it was just the two of them with the initiating minister. That had been one of his most special moments.
***
“There’s your baby.” The doctor said with a smile.
Ben’s eyes were fixed on the screen the entire time, watching the movements his baby was making. He still couldn’t believe that there was a life growing inside of him. It felt like a big dream, a fiction that his mind had made to make him escape the pain that David had caused him.
“Its growing healthy and I am sure that it is just as excited as you are to come out to the world.” The beautiful nurse commented, smiling at him. She held his hand the entire time. “In just a few weeks, you’ll be holding your baby.”
Ben’s hand robotically moved to hold his big tummy, moving his hand all over it. He was 7 months and a few days gone and he couldn’t still believe that was possible. A few months back, he had been told he was dying of cancer but his life had changed. He felt his baby kick and tears automatically began running down his face.
“Wow!” He chuckled in tears. “Wow! I can feel it move.”
“Yeah!” The doctor smiled, as he printed out the picture and handed it over to him. “That’s a sign that your baby is healthy and can’t wait to meet you. You’re a very lucky boy, Ben, and I am so proud of you. No one with Persistent Mullerian Duct Syndrome has ever been able to do such a thing and even if they got pregnant, it got terminated within a few weeks of conception.