A gay story: The Better Me
At 53 years old, feeling out of shape and stuck in a rut, I knew something had to change. I made a conscious decision to better myself, starting with my diet and exercise. No fad diets or quick fixes, just a strict routine and a determination to see it through.
As the weeks went by, I began to notice a significant change in my physical and mental well-being. I shed several pant sizes, my muscles became defined, and my overall energy skyrocketed. I even gave up my destructive habits like junk food, excessive drinking, and pornography – something that had caused damage in my personal relationships in the past.
Feeling stronger and more motivated than ever, I decided to pursue my creative passions and reconnected with old friends. Their compliments only added to my sense of accomplishment. But despite these positive changes, a twinge of loneliness still lingered.
As I continued to engage in outdoor activities like hiking, fishing, and camping, I couldn’t help but feel that having a companion to share these experiences with would make them even more enjoyable. However, I didn’t want to be the older guy tagging along with younger families or rely on unreliable online dating.
Despite these thoughts, I stayed focused on my self-improvement journey and embraced the sense of contentment it brought me. That is, until one day at work when my colleague Ken approached my desk with his best Lumberger impression, asking, “So, what’s the scoop?”
“What’s up?”
“We’re having a going away thing for Zach at a club tonight..you.should come along, Lone Wolf.” Ken likes to tease about my solitude…A friendly yet concerned jab.
I rubbed my chin. “Oh, yeah, I forgot it’s Zach’s last day. He did good work, I’m gonna miss him.”
“Then come out and tell him that, oh wise and muscular hermit.”
“Ahh, I don’t know..” I was going to make an excuse..but something clicked again. You need this, the voice said. Have fun. “Hell, why not? Where and when, I’m there.”
Ken seemed surprised. “Really? All right, my man. It will be around 7 tonight at The Hat Lounge..heads up, its a gay club, so hope that’s okay.”
I almost laughed..I used to go to that club in my less disciplined days. “Not a problem.”
“Great, see you there, old man.”
After work I headed home, grabbed a quick workout, showered and dressed. I went with simple..faded jeans and a Polo shirt. I spritzed some cologne on and checked out my visage in the mirror. I had a shaved head and a white goatee..shoulders broad, arms a little tight in the short sleeves of the shirt. Tanned from my camping trip the weekend before. I smiled. Far from the dumpy, flabby guy looking back at me last year.
I pulled up to the club..more cars than usually for 7:15 on a Friday, and the bass was loud yet muted from outside. A nervous twinge hit me…but I tamped it down..I was stronger than I used to be.
The going away party went well..I sipped club soda, mingled and chatted with my co workers, laughed, had fun..made sure let Zach know he was going to be missed.
I realized in my pursuit of my “perfection” I had shut myself off as well..I made mental note to change that.
Not long after, people began to leave..around 9, about the time when the place started to get crowded. The usual..kids at home, need to go for the married ones, the others having plans with their circle of friends.
Goodbyes and farewells until it was just me. I walked to the bar and found an empty stool. I ordered another club soda and spun around and watched.
Being sober made me more aware, I found. Seeing eyes on others, watching some pick up on clues, others oblivious. Mainly, seeing couples happy..a playful touch on their arm, genuine affection. The dance floor becoming more populated, writhing bodies and willful abandonment. I envied them and was also happy for them. A warm smile crossed my lips.
“I won.”
A voice from my right side. I looked over and saw deep blue eyes gazing back.
“I’m sorry?”
He was slight..around 5’7″, thin with sandy blonde hair. In a t-shirt and jeans, probably 30 years old. He sipped his drink. “I bet myself that you had a great smile, so I win.”
I grinned. “You made a bet with yourself, so you would have won, either out come. And thank you.”
He smiled and sipped. “You like to watch.”
“So do you, apparently.”
“Touche. What are you drinking?”
“Club soda. You?”
“Bourbon and coke.”
“Ahh..that used to be my favorite before I stopped.”
Lidded eyes looking up at me as lips wrapped around the straw..he knew how to flirt. “Did you have a problem with alcohol?”
“What, like an alcoholic?” I shrugged. “Not really. I just wanted to not drink anymore. It was holding me back, I guess.”
He smiled. “That’s a pretty mature attitude.”
I laughed. “It took me until year 53 to figure it out.”
His eyes got wide. “You’re old.”
“Thanks for the newsflash.” I replied in a friendly tone.
He held out his hand. “I’m Jamie.”
I grabbed his hand..small,my hand nearly engulfed it. “Nice to meet you, Jamie. I’m Kyle.”
He blushed..just slightly.
I flagged down the bartender and ordered us both another round.
“Oh, you didn’t have to do that..” He seemed a little embarrassed.
I shrugged. “Why not? Its a friendly gesture.”
He blushed a bit again. “So, you don’t drink..why are you here?”
“We had a going away thing for a coworker here..you know. All the others left, they had other plans, or significant others waiting at home, the usual.”
Jamie smiled again..very cute. “No one at home for you?”
“Not at this point in time..thinking of getting a dog, though.”
“That’s a shame.” He ran his svelte fingers around the rim of his glass. “You could probably walk out of here with any number of people tonight.”
I grinned. “You definitely know how to flirt.” I leaned back against the bar, my arms resting on it.
“Looks aren’t everything. Oh, no doubt they help confidence, that helps..but if you are a shitty person on the inside, you are just going to be a shitty person who happens to look good.”
He looked at me and smiled.
“So, what brings you out?”
Jamie turned his gaze to a table nearby. A brunette with big tits and a short red mini dress laughing with other girls and guys, the guys clearly uncomfortable.. boyfriends dragged to the gay bar.
“Girlfriend?”
He almost choked on the bourbon. “God, no..roommate. She likes this place and ‘please, please, come with me, I want to dance!’ ” He mimicked a girl a little too well.
“Well, kind of glad you came out.”
Jamie looked at me with eyes that were soft and inviting. “Oh, really?”
“Yep.” I raised my empty glass. “It’s your round.”
It was different and new..I was sober and still able to charm and be funny. I caught the clues Jamie was into me..little pats on my arm when I made him laugh, little blushes from my subtle compliments.
“Hey, I hope its okay, but I smoke..can we go on the patio for a few minutes?”
I liked how he asked..almost submissive. “Sure, I could stretch my legs. Lead the way.”
I grabbed my drink and Jamie grabbed his..I immediately noticed the slight feminine way he walked in front of me..and just how round his ass was. It was almost hypnotic.