“I am glad Nate has you.”
Matt only scoffed, and Brandon made this sad smirk watching the glass in his hands.
“What now?” Matt turned to Brandon.
“I don’t know. I only thought it up to a point when we will come here.”
“Strategic, bravo. Now we are all here, and this is awkward, man.”
“I need a drink.” Brandon looked at me. “Do you drink?”
“Not usually in the middle of the day.”
“Good, but it’s 3:47 pm. So I will make it an early evening this time. Do you want a beer?”
“Screw it. I am fucked beyond measure. Do you have something stronger?”
“Yeah. Scotch, rum, or whiskey?”
“Give me whatever you are drinking.”
“Good. Matt?”
“Are we seriously going to drink, like getting drunk, drink?”
“Why the hell no? It’s the best bonding way.”
“No, sex is, but I’ll take the drink.”
I had to smirk when Matt said that. They both looked at me.
“I just agree.”
Brandon brought a bottle of decent whiskey and three glasses.
“Thanks.”
.
Great, so now we can sit awkwardly with a drink in hand… Fuck it, I downed it with a shaking hand. The longer I was here, the more I regretted coming.
“You want a refill, man?” Brandon grinned.
“Fuck it. Yes. This is really all messed up….”
“Let’s play a drinking game!”
“Bran, you are coming today with the worst ideas one can think of. You invite this guy over and ditch Nate, and now this?”
“You two hate my guts, do you?”
“No.”/”Yes.” they said in unison
“I get it. I hate myself as well.”
“Then why did you do it?”
“What would you do?”
“Probably something more stupid.” Brandon shook his head, walking around us.
“Maybe he did right by Nate by leaving,” Matt spoke silently into his glass.
We just looked at him.
“Don’t you think Nate should have a say in this too?”
“Why? It’s not like he’s got anything to do about that once one decides. It’s just a painful reminder, keeping each other on edge with no relief. Even if they manage to screw each other once in a while, all that would bring is guilt, confusion, and more temptation. Vicious circle. I think they better off apart.”
Brandon looked at Matt intently. “Would you want to be apart?”
“I am too big of a pussy to do that, you know, Bran.” Matt’s glass was empty, and he grabbed the bottle and poured himself more.
Were they still talking about Nate and me?
.
“Have you slept with him?” Matt just asked suddenly.
“Nate?”
“No, Thomas.”
“Why are we talking about him? I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
“I know it isn’t,” Brandon looked meaningfully at Matt, “but would you be kind and answer him? He cares a lot.”
“Why?” Then I saw it. I turned to Brandon. “Does he like Tom?”
Brandon smiled with soft sadness.
Damn, I would really like to help him out. Anything that takes my mind off Nate at this point, but as I knew Tom, this was useless. Matt was obviously straight, maybe bi-curious. Tom would never even consider that.
I looked at Matt. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think that there’s a big chance… he would never mix work and pleasure. And I thought you were straight.”
“How can you be sure there’s not?”
“He’s got strict principles and very … well…distinct taste. But that’s not my place to talk about. I just don’t think it’s worth it if you are interested in him.”
Matt was quiet, but he seemed like he was fuming.
.
“So, have you?”
I exhaled. “Yeah. Years ago.”
“What was he like back then?”
I looked at Brandon standing there with amusement on his face. Didn’t they want to talk about Nate? I wanted to talk about Nate!
“What was Nate like when he was young?”
“Why do you care?”
“Why do you care what was Tom like?”
“Tom?”
“Yeah, I usually call him Tom.”
“Don’t.”
“Dude, I’ve known him for over a decade. I think I can call him Tom.”
“Then what was Tom like?”
I smirked. “Smart guy, very determined, and never took shit from anyone… Why?”
“Just curious.”
“What was Nate like growing up?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“I can’t seem to help it.”
“What do you know already?” Brandon filled my glass.
“Thanks. I know he had demanding parents, and he used to be quite wild.”
They looked at each other.
“He was someone you could call in the middle of the night, and he would come running to save your ass.”
I smiled, figures.
.
“He loves you, you know that, right?”
“Yeah. I just… everything went so fast!”
“Sometimes that happens,” Matt growled.
“Fuck both of you, cowards. Okay, drink if you feel like this was a bad idea.”
“Fuck it.” We smiled slightly at each other and took a sip.
“Drink if there is someone in your life you want.”
All three of us drank.
“Drink if you feel you can’t have that person.”
All three of us drank.
“Who can’t you have, Brandon?”
“Florence, my ex-wife, and Diana, she was kind of my lover.”
Matt laughed. “You can’t have Flo, cos you had Diana!”
“Still. I love them both.”
“Damn…” Matt shook his head, and I started to feel the alcohol.
“Drink if you ever cheated on someone.”
They drank, I haven’t.
“Fuck you! You should drink.”
“I never cheated on anyone. I have just been with a married guy. There is a difference.”
“Coward, drink!”
“You phrased it wrong.”
“Okay, smarty pants, drink if you have ever been the one that person was cheating with.”
Brandon and I drank.
“Really?” I laughed at Brandon.
Yeah, I was definitely starting to feel the booze. When did I eat last?
“Yeah, Diana’s husband beat the shit out of me when he found out from my wife. It was proper soap opera style.”
“So why you cannot be with her?”
“They try to make it work. So she’s a good girl now.”
Matt and I smirked. We were getting drunk.
.
“I have one: Drink if you ever kissed a guy.”
They scoffed, and all three of us drank. I wasn’t finished.
“Drink if you ever had sex with a guy.”
I watched them with a grin as I drank. Matt looked at amused Brandon, then he said, “Fuck this. You are not telling anyone.” Pointed his finger at me and downed his glass.
Brandon just watched us, grinning.
“No?”
“No.” he shook his head with a smile.
“Drink if you ever slept with a woman.”
They watched me as they drank, and I leaned back comfortably on the back cushion.
“Really?”
“No, I’ve kissed a few, but I knew soon enough I am gay.”
“How many men have you slept with, Matt?”
“One.”
“No!”
“What?”
“Tom?”
He nodded
“I am so sorry, man.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“You really like him, do you?”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Tom is very strict with people he chooses to date. He hates guys that call themselves bi.” Heck, I am really getting shitfaced with the way this is going here!
“You knew that?” Brandon looked at Matt. He nodded.
“I am honestly surprised you slept with him. He is very strict about no straight or bi-curious men. Damn, even if one admits he slept with women out of curiosity, he loses interest. And you are working together! Man, have you seriously done it?”
“Yeah.”
I looked at him with a kind of admiration. Tom is a freak! Amazing guy, but sex with him is intense even for me! Now, when I add what Nate told me about Matt, I understand why Matt could consider him desirable. Holy fuck… These two could be a hot pairing.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“If you slept with Tom, you know why.”
Bran laughed!
.
We spent hours there like that! The three of us drank the whole bottle, thankfully, at a slower pace once we started talking and teasing each other. It was hilarious. I love those guys to bits!