A gay story: Songs of You Ch. 05 I never thought I would utter these words, but prom was just magical. I went with Wyatt, out in the open, as his date. We danced, we kissed, we took photos with all of our friends and with just us. I felt loved and cherished, and I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.
When we got back home, we made love to each other for a while. First he topped, and then he asked me to take him once we were able to get hard again. It was an emotional night, and we made love slowly and sensually, with tongues touching and bodies covered in sweat. I licked beads of sweat off his neck as he came hard.
I’d always had this idea of how my graduation day would go. It included both of my parents there, pretending to be proud of me and taking photos, and my siblings being dragged along against their wills. I would then go to everyone else’s graduation parties, though I knew I wouldn’t have one.
That wasn’t how the day went though. Eliza was there, and mom and my other sisters were somewhere in the crowd though I didn’t interact much with them. They all gave me hugs, though mom looked like she wanted to say more. I never gave her much of a chance though. I told her I had to go, and went to find Wyatt. We took photos as a group and photos of just the two of us together. Dorothy’s camera had to be full by the time the day was done.
We did go to quite a few parties, but Dorothy held one in our honor too. She set up the backyard with games, sodas, food, and she had Wyatt’s uncle barbequing burgers and hot dogs. We played basketball on the hoop in the driveway with our friends, explored the garden behind the house, and ate food. She had a big cake made with “Congratulations Wyatt and Milo!” in rainbow letters.
As all of the parties came to an end, and the summer began, Wyatt and I had to talk about what we were going to do about school. I had gotten into the New England Conservatory for Music and would likely go there, while Wyatt had decided on UC Berkeley for sciences. It would put us across the country from each other, but it all kind of depended on how the Battle of the Bands went. I might have ended up doing online schooling if the band won.
Wyatt had a full ride so long as he played sports in college, and I couldn’t bring myself to stop him from doing that, even if it meant it made us be apart from each other. He spoke about transferring closer, but I told him that I wanted him to go to the school right for him. My future all depended on a lot of luck, talent, and chance.
We didn’t want to focus on that right now though. Wyatt wanted me to put all of my attention into the Battle. We only had a few weeks before we would be in Salt Lake City to perform. The band was perfecting what we were doing for our set, especially “On the Edge” as that would end up being our biggest song. It was also the song that would decide whether I succeed in the original song contest as well.
Dorothy went all out for the Battle of the Bands in Salt Lake. It was only less than an hour from us, but she decided to rent a few hotel rooms for the night among the big group of us. Dorothy had one suite with two rooms for her and the girls, and one suit with three rooms for the band and Wyatt. It had to be a fair amount of money but she wouldn’t let me pay her back in any way.
I hadn’t ever been to Salt Lake City before, but it was beautiful. I didn’t subscribe to the Mormon belief system and was generally an atheist, but I could admit that the architecture that resulted in the Mormons settling here was stunning. Dorothy took us around to see some of the city, though she did none of the driving. She was too afraid to. We went out to eat and, with sodas of course, we clinked glasses in celebration of the band and everything that was to come. Dorothy was sure we would win, and nothing we said could make her think otherwise.
Finally, the day of the Battle was upon us. We had redyed my hair in preparation, and the mohawk was longer than I normally kept it, trying to make it look more noticeable on a big stage. Usually the other guys let me have fun with my own makeup and they went up on stage bare faced because they weren’t as into it as I was, but tonight was different.
I used a lot of color tonight, giving us an overall rainbow look. I toned down their own looks and went all out with mine, doing just one or two colors each for them so the whole rainbow came together on me. We got into our clothes made of our normal black, reds, leather, and metal. I stood in front of Wyatt wearing a long sleeved fishnet shirt with a tighter red and black vest over top that showed off my physique. The vest had black leather and metal studs, and I paired it with ripped black jeans and combat boots with metal studs in them that I had added myself. My lips were painted black and I had an entire rainbow on my eyes with dark eyeliner and black stars around the rainbow.
Wyatt grinned at me. “If I wasn’t worried about messing up your hair and makeup, I’d take you right now right here over this dresser.”
I smirked back at him. “Lucky for you, once this event is over, you can either celebrate it with me in bed, or console me in bed.”
“We’ll definitely be celebrating, babe,” Wyatt whispered to me.
The venue was big and walking into it was like stepping into another world. There was seating up higher in the balconies, but the main floor was completely open so people could dance and mosh if they wanted to. Right now it was just the bands, plus Wyatt who was helping us get our equipment figured out. The backstage was luckily set up for us to be ready to go at any time. They had something like almost thirty bands playing, starting right as evening hit. We weren’t playing until later, but I was pumped all the same.
Once we were set up and ready to wait, we were allowed to start roaming around the venue a bit. As it filled up with audience members, friends, and family, the place really started to come alive. It reminded me a lot of going to grunge concerts, with the stone floors and the alternative clothing of the audience. Of course, there were parents and such here too, so it was an eclectic group, but the air still seemed to be buzzing with excitement.
I felt my friends come up behind me as we just looked out over the people talking, laughing, and waiting for the event to start. This was what I had always dreamed of. Standing in a venue waiting to perform, with people excitedly talking, snacking, and ready to dance. I dreamed of one day being in a huge venue where people were waiting just to see us perform. I had kind of figured it might never happen though. So to be standing there, waiting to be able to perform, was already a dream come true. If we won the Battle of the Bands, our entire lives could change.
I felt someone put their hands on my shoulders and turned to see Wyatt grinning at me. The group of us went down to meet up with Dorothy and the girls. They all ordered sodas, but those of us who did any vocals, which usually meant Nigel, Zack, and I, had water to keep our throats ready.
We were surprised by Eliza and my mom coming up to us at the table. The others all fell silent when they saw my mom, though there was still a buzz all around us in the venue. Eliza gave a brief flash of an apology with her expression and then moved over to greet the others, leaving me standing in front of our mother.
“Mom,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. “What, uh…what are you doing here?”
“Oh, well,” mom breathed out and then cleared her throat. “Eliza said this was your, um, passion, and I wanted to see…I wanted to be here to…I should be here to support you and your dreams.”
“Oh,” I replied, not entirely sure what to do with that. It was a thoughtful gesture, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to give her a chance, or if it might be too little too late. “I appreciate that. Hopefully you enjoy the show.”
“You’re my only son, Milo,” she said hurriedly, like she was worried I wouldn’t let her get it out. “Our first born. We were so happy when you were born. Your dad especially, because you were such a strong boy, and beautiful…”
“And then everything I did became a disappointment to you both,” I replied. “You can’t have it both ways, mom. Either I’m your son and you love me, or I’m your biggest disappointment and you want me gone. There’s no in-between here.”
My mom nodded her head, looking a little pale at my words. “You’re right. I want to…can we try to fix this? It always felt like your dad was supposed to be the one to deal with you. He said as much, because you were a boy, and he could relate to you. That’s why he took you hunting.”
“I hated hunting,” I replied with a shake of my head.
My mom gave a sad smile. “I know. Just…can you give me a chance?”
I closed my eyes for a moment and considered it before looking at her again. “I don’t know if it can be repaired, and I don’t know where we’ll be going after this performance.” I looked over at Dorothy, who gave me a nod that said to give it a try at least. “We can try, but we have to take it at my speed, got it? Phone calls, emails, letters. You have to get to know me, really get to know me, and you have to accept me as I am. Is that possible?”
“Yes, of course,” my mom replied and took my hands. I flinched a little and she winced when she saw it but she squeezed my hands lightly. “Anything you need me to do.”
We fell into a silence for a moment before I asked the biggest question in my head right then. “Did they charge you?”
“They’re still investigating but they said it was a form of self-defense, and they likely won’t,” she explained.
That was what I had been expecting, but I was surprised by how relieved I was. Dorothy asked my mom to join them at the table and she did, talking to Dorothy about the event and how she was nervous for me but also excited.
“His voice was a gift from God,” Dorothy said and winked at me, making me smile at her. I didn’t necessarily believe in God, but I know she meant it as a compliment, and it seemed to make my mom happy too.
Wyatt put his arm around me and I couldn’t help but beam at him. The nervous excitement that always came before any performance was back in my stomach and chest. Wyatt was watching me as some of the other bands performed, and I turned to look at him and couldn’t help the smile that came across my face. He was so intently watching me, his blue eyes sparkling with joy.
“You’re stunning when you light up like this, watching the other artists,” Wyatt said to me. “Though it pales in comparison to how you light up when you perform. I could never get bored watching you perform.”
“You’re sweet talking me,” I murmured to him.
“Maybe, but it’s still true,” Wyatt said before he kissed me.
We watched the bands before us, commenting to each other what we liked and didn’t like about their performances. We had a lot of fun just seeing what our competition was like, and soon enough, we needed to get our instruments ready to set up next. I kissed Wyatt briefly but hotly and then followed the rest of the band to the backstage area. I saw Gus walk away from backstage and my stomach dropped. I ran ahead of the group and came into the staging area to find my guitar destroyed.
“Oh I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Varick said and I could hear him cracking his knuckles as Nigel and Zack stopped him from leaving.
Wyatt had followed us and was looking at the guitar while shaking his head. “Get everything else set up. I’ll be back.”
“We can’t play without my guitar,” I told him.
“Just stay here and get ready,” Wyatt replied and then disappeared.
“Luckily, there are cameras,” Nigel said and then he called over one of the assistants to ask them to call the police and pull the footage. He also started taking photos of the damage. “Gus won’t be going to any of the schools he wanted after this.”
I shook my head as I took in the damage. I’d bought that guitar on my own, using money I got from odd jobs like mowing people’s lawns, painting fences, babysitting, and more around the neighborhood. I was so proud of myself and it had held up for so long, and now it was gone because Gus was an asshole who wanted to see me fail, and why? Because I left him?
I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time because I was so angry, at both him and myself. We got to work getting things ready, and we were watching the last band bring their stuff off stage when Wyatt came back with a guitar case carried on his back. I looked at him in confusion as he put it down on a chair so he could open it. Inside was an absolutely gorgeous custom guitar with a rainbow on it to match my hair. I took it from him to check its tuning, and it sounded perfect.
“It was supposed to be a congrats for winning gift,” Wyatt explained. “Nigel helped me tune it correctly.”
I looked back at him with so much awe and love that I could feel tears stinging my eyes. “Wyatt, this is…I don’t even have words.”
Wyatt kissed my cheek and I put the strap of the guitar around me and moved it to my back so I could throw my arms around him and hug him like it might be the last time I ever get to. I heard him chuckle in my ear, one of my favorite sounds in the entire world, and he wrapped his arms around me before kissing my temple.
“Now, you go out there, and kick everyone’s ass,” Wyatt said to me. “I love you and know you will win.”
It’s hard to argue with the man when he had not only come to my rescue, but was giving support so freely and willingly. Plus, he looked hot as hell in his dark wash jeans and maroon button up shirt. I kissed him deeply before I followed the others onto the stage to plug in the guitar and get ready to go.
It was once we were on stage and in front of the bright lights and cheering crowd that I let go of the last remaining bit of tension I had in me. This was what I lived for and loved. The roar of the crowd and the heat of the stage thanks to the lights and all of the bodies in the venue. We got everything plugged in and then we were announced. The loudest cheer of course came from the table where Milo and his — our — family was.
After just a brief breath, I gave the others a nod, and we started our set. We had some of our biggest songs on the lineup. On The Edge, which detailed my long drawn out history of suicidal ideation and self harm in a three-minute song, along with the new “Wyatt Song” as the rest of the band dubbed it, Breaking Barriers, which was about love winning out. We had a song that was meant to be a bit of a misfit anthem, which always got everyone dancing.
I was on cloud nine by the time we finished, and the whole venue was alive with cheers and whistles. We thanked everyone and then broke down our stuff and got them moved. We didn’t get to stay on cloud nine, though, as we had to deal with the cops now. We showed the broken guitar, where it was, and the venue was happy to show them the video security had. When they asked if I wanted to press charges, I was quiet for a moment as I thought it over, despite the look on Varrick’s face.
In the end, I decided too, which was usually against my character, but Gus had done so much to try and ruin all of this for me, and I was more than happy for him to get charged with vandalism. He was lucky he had only gone after my guitar. Had he ruined all of our instruments, it would have for sure been a felony. Gus might slip through with only misdemeanor charges for this, though guitars were expensive.
It was a low point of the day, as I hated dealing with cops, but I hated that Gus could just get away with things even more. With a criminal record, his first choice schools likely wouldn’t take him anymore, and I couldn’t find it in myself to be sad about that.
The security team escorted Gus out, and we got to see it happen, where he was taken outside to where the cops arrested him. After that, I put him out of my mind and went back to enjoying the different bands’ performances. By the end of the night, the old guitar didn’t matter that much. Sure, I was annoyed, but somehow my boyfriend had saved our entire set.
I pushed thoughts of it all away and decided to just be present with the band, our families, and Wyatt. I danced with Wyatt to the music from the other bands; sometimes jumping up and down in time to the beat with the entire crowd, other times dancing close with our arms around each other. I wasn’t sure there was anything that could ever feel this perfect to me.
I wanted to capture this moment and stay in it forever, but I knew all things must come to an end eventually. It was already getting late when all of the bands had finished their performances. Dorothy made a joke about it being way past her bedtime, but she didn’t seem upset or bothered by it.
The MC of the event came up onto the stage, asking everyone to quiet down. “Thank you to all of our amazing bands tonight for their performances! Let’s give them one last round of applause!”
The entire venue erupted in cheers before the MC waved his hands to get everyone to calm down again. He had a grin on his face, and I was just barely breathing as I waited for him to continue.
“Now, the judges have talked, and I have some results for everyone,” the MC said, his voice booming through the venue.
They decided to announce the winner of the original song contest first, announcing the two runners up as my band all surrounded me. It almost felt like a dream when the MC announced the name Milo de Léon. I let out the breath I had been holding as my band mates started jumping up and down around me before they pushed me towards the stage. It felt unreal, like I was watching myself instead of being inside my body, as I took the stairs up and accepted the envelope that explained the scholarship for school I had won with that.
It was a quick event, and then I was back on the floor with my bandmates and Wyatt had his arm around my shoulders, telling me how proud he was of me. Then the MC was quieting the crowd again and telling us all that he’s going to announce the winner of Battle of the Bands.
I know in movies, and books, they talk about how things go in slow motion. In a way, it felt like they did, but at the same time, it felt like everything went incredibly fast too. He announced the third place winner, and we all applauded while they went up to get a trophy and token prize. Then came the second prize winner. I was insanely nervous, especially because our name hadn’t been called, and the people who were the runners up had been amazing on stage.
Of course, somewhere in the back of my mind, I worried that we weren’t as good as everyone else. I wondered if maybe we had just barely made it here by the skin of our teeth, but then another part of my brain pointed out that my song won. “On the Edge” won against so many other amazing songs, and my stomach flutters that maybe, just maybe, we would take it all tonight.
“And the winner of the entire Battle is…” The MC cried into the microphone, and a drum roll sounded in the background behind him. “Tormented Accord!”
The whole place erupted in cheers and whistles while colorful confetti fell down all around us. I could hear our table behind us cheering the loudest though, and soon we were pushing through the crowd to get up to the stage.
We were handed a trophy made for this event, with a guitar on the top and held it up high as everyone cheered. I barely remember what I said for the acceptance speech, but mostly we thanked everyone who had supported us, especially Dorothy, and then there was more cheering.
The night turned to partying, which Dorothy let us do while she took the girls home and my mom took Eliza home. We were old enough to be out later, though we couldn’t drink. I didn’t even care though, I was on a high with the knowledge that we had won and were about to have a record deal!
It was only when we got home that my joyous feelings were beginning to wane. We had won and gotten what we had always wanted, but now I was watching as Wyatt got out of the clothes he had been wearing, and it occurred to me that his dreams did not include moving around the country touring with a band he wasn’t part of. He had plans to go to college and make something more of himself, and I couldn’t stand in the way of that.