“Imagine waking up and not only realizing how sexist you were, but understanding how racist you were,” Lee said, “multiply what you felt times . . . times a really big number, a googol, and that’s what I felt. And I was one of the ones who tried really hard not to be racist.”
Marvin had obviously never even thought what that might have felt like before. He continued. “After The Shift, it was like I had access to . . . I can’t explain it . . . like, like . . . like I had memories of knowing that my behaviors were wrong that I didn’t have in the before. I had always felt like if I admitted that I was wrong before, that I would be admitting that I was . . .’ He choked up and sat in silence, holding back tears he knew he didn’t have to hide but cognizant of the fact that he was releasing old patterns. Softly, and with sincere pain in his voice he said, “I feel less afraid. I mean, I didn’t even realize how afraid I had been until that grip of fear had been released.”
“I felt like my world was crashing around me but at the same time, that I was free for the first time in my life. Somehow, hearing the truth about Black greatness, and knowing that white people were going to be able to hear the truth of Black greatness without their typical racist backlash, knowing that the energy of racism was nullified, was reassuring. I mean, they were prepping for a race war before, and what they got was hit in the face with the fact that everything they were told about how great and wonderful white people were, was allllll a lie. In the Old World, that woulda sent them over the edge and on killing sprees murdering any person of color they saw in every corner of the country. Which apparently, they had been doing all along but the news never reported it.”
“Clearly, I’ve never experienced anything like this before. And, apparently, from what I understand, none of us have. This is the first time humanity has experienced having free will in this state of consciousness as I understand it. I think I understand what that means. In the split second when we moved from the Old World to the New-World, we experienced a shift from . . . from . . . forget it, I can’t explain it.
“No, no. You’re doing great. Take your time. It will come to you,” Lee offered his support.
“We still have the experience of time, and I absolutely do NOT understand how all time, the past, present and future, existed at once. I mean it was one thing to see it on Dr. Who or time travel movies, but how do I process that for my life? I’ve only ever experienced the past and the present and I didn’t experience them as the same thing. But now, we can move forward in time, but we will eventually move beyond time, and . . . and and the steps we take to get there are . . . not fixed,” expressing himself as a question to indicate that he really was unsure about a lot of the more sci-fi aspects of the New World?”
“We still have our soul contract to work out, the deal we made to be here but we have choices we didn’t have before. I get that. I didn’t have to read every story. I didn’t have to open that email or click on that link. Before, everything was backwards and everything that I thought was a choice, really wasn’t.” He looked sad. “I really gotta work on understanding that stuff a lot more. “There are times when I’m just so focused on the here and now and healing me, that I don’t give a fuck about understanding anything. For me, the last two years has been, for the most part, spent alone, being a Hermit, trying to get comfortable in this new skin of emotional maturity and this New World.”
Like a well-choreographed pair who knew each other’s moves intricately, Lee stretched out his legs and Marvin maneuvered himself so that he was laying on Lee’s chest, staring up at the ceiling and able to relax and continue to share. Lee’s fingers casually caressed Marvin’s chest and shoulders while he continued to hang on his every word. Lee’s growing erection could clearly be felt on Marvin’s back.
“I clearly remember staring at the TV for weeks, watching the Truth and Reconciliation and the Disclosure broadcasts. It was fucked up to see Trump of all people, and King Charles and Biden, The Pope, and all the world leaders confessing that they had had access to magick and they were mentally and magically manipulating humanity, that everything we believed was a lie. It hurt like crazy. It was wild to see celebrities, politicians, doctors, professors, people I had admired, people I had hated, people I had never heard of before exposing how they were slaves to the overlords and they knew about the other world, the secret world of magic and Artificial Intelligence, and that had deceived us for what we understand to be thousands and thousands of years because they had sold their souls for fame and they were slaves, just with the pretense of more more money, and that they were now free.”
“I understand that we were all given a gift. We are now free to live, to Love, to fuck up, to make mistakes, and to learn, to heal, evolve and grow on our own terms. I understand that the ones who did the most evil, the ones who were the most deceptive and wicked, they, they get to die . . . I don’t THINK it’s an option so maybe that’s not the right word. Anyway, their souls will come back as melanated beings and they will experience maternal Love, unfettered, Divine, Goddess Mother Love from birth. Everyone else, the rest of us gets to decide if we want to die and start over again, or we can work out our karma and we will all get younger and healthier and more beautiful and we will never die. And women will still have children until the time when we don’t need to recreate any more.”
“When they say, ‘the truth hurts,’ they weren’t lying. It was hard. It was hard to know that there were people who knew that men are supposed to like anal stimulation and that they convinced us that we were damaged, that we were immoral and reprehensible if we liked it. It was painful as fuck to know that every feeling I had that wasn’t masculine and aggressive was because I’m a composite of masculine and feminine energy and every human being is supposed to express a balance of both. I struggled with the fact that every rule, commandment, law, and norm that we were told was right and just was to keep us enslaved in the Matrix. It hurt but not like the pain I felt before. I understand that revealing the truth in stages was best. I felt betrayed, obviously. And whoever thought of having comedians being responsible for delivering the truth in their stand-up routines was GENIUS. Yo, Trevor Noah, Roy Wood, Jr., Dave Chapelle, those brothas saved me from insanity, everything they said felt like it was meant for me to hear. That made taking a bitter pill so much easier to swallow.”
“I lost my religion, my politics, my concept of manhood, and my understanding of what sex was literally overnight. Science and technology, everything, everything was gone in a flash. Knowing that history had been completely rewritten, that nothing we had been told was the truth, for the sole purpose of denying melanated people our divinity still doesn’t make sense to me. Learning that Wakanda-like advanced futuristic, civilizations existed all around us, and their existence was hidden from us . . .” He got choked up. “I don’t feel anger or resentment. I don’t want or need revenge. I mean, I’m not in the inner circle, I don’t have a position of power to call any shots, but I feel like if we take a vote, and majority rules, I would have voted for exactly the outcome we had, unity. I’m glad we didn’t choose fear.”