A gay sex story: My New Personal Assistant Ch. 24 Dear readers.
We are reaching the end of the first half of the book. The following (the 25th. Chapter) will be the last.
I will start posting here the second part of the story on Aug. 1st. 2023. As a thank you, I will post one deleted scene in the meantime and unlock a character map for those who care and read all of my stories :).
FomEB (Ross’s and Kyle’s story) will be released on the schedule as I need those two storylines to catch up to each other.
The second part is mostly focusing on Thomas’s arc and will consist of both Thomas’s and Matt’s POVs, with a few insides from Brandon’s and Noah’s POV.
Hope you will enjoy it. I love the second part, maybe even more than the first, and it will be worth the wait for you.
Chapter 24 – Thomas’s Confession
I woke up in an empty bed, an empty house with emptiness eating me alive. I’ve had birthdays, good and bad, but this one was nerve-wracking. I knew Thomas well enough to know there was a big chance he won’t let me see him. Who knows, if what Peter told me that Saturday a few days ago it’s true, Thomas may not even open the door for me. I hugged my chest and covered myself, burying my head in the blanket. Happy fucking birthday to me…
I reached for the phone after a little while and opened the text window… I scrapped dozens of messages before I sent the final version.
Thomas, it’s my birthday, and I really want to spend it with you. Not because we had a deal but because, you know, we both want to. I will come at ten. Please open the door.
I have only one birthday wish. Please, give me one day without the world. You can break my heart tomorrow.
Matt
Cheesy? Pathetic? Sure, but in all honesty, that was how I felt after Peter made sure I understood that Thomas has a record of cutting people off if he considers that necessary, and no matter how much I didn’t want to believe that, I realized why he did that. He loves me, but he knows there is nothing I can offer to him. And I finally admitted that he was right. I wanted him, but if I wasn’t willing to become gay for him, I had no right to hold him.
Still, I couldn’t just let go…
A message popped up. “Come then.” I smiled, but I knew better now than to make expectations from him… Maybe it’s time to stop using people who love me… Perhaps I could finally let them breathe… After today… I need that last day!
Ten o’clock.
I knocked on Thomas’s door, ready for everything. Well, obviously not everything… The door opened, and inside stood Thomas I had never met. He had no sternness in his eyes. He looked gentle, vulnerable, and… soft. That expression broke something in me, and I reached for him, kissing him right on his doorstep. Thomas let me and kissed me back as shivers ran through me.
Our lips parted, and his forehead rested on mine.
“Come in, Matt.”
I stepped in and only now realized that he was wearing a plain white t-shirt and pale blue jeans. Jeans? I never saw him wearing jeans. He looked as if he was ten years younger now. It was fascinating. He was barefoot, and I took my shoes off as he closed the door.
“Happy birthday,” he smiled softly.
“Thank you.”
We just stood there. What now…?
“You will not leave tomorrow willingly, will you?”
“I don’t know, Thomas. Do you want me to?”
He shook his head and walked into his living room. “You heard me that morning did you.”
“Yes.”
Thomas nodded. “Sorry, that wasn’t my intention.”
“Thomas… I can’t be that person for you. I am sorry.”
“I never expected you to be, Matt. I’ve spent every day for months at work next to you. I’ve seen you when you were angry and excited. I have a pretty good idea of what kind of person you are. I don’t need you to be someone you are not.”
“But I still care about you.”
“You care about the release you feel when you can let go, Matt. That is not what I am looking for.”
“I know. But I honestly don’t know if I can find that anywhere else.”
“You never tried,” he pointed out as he sat on his couch.
“I don’t know if I want to,” I came closer, standing in front of him with my hands in my pants pockets.
“I think you should.”
I raised my eyebrow with doubt. “And what about you?”
“Trust me, Matt, the sooner this ends, the sooner I will get better.”
“Right…” I looked away. That hurt…
.
I sat down next to him.
“I spoke with Peter.”
Thomas looked surprised. “You did?”
“Yeah… I talked with Natasha. Brandon told her about my kink for pain. She assumes I found some dominatrix. He even showed her the video.”
Thomas frowned and looked judgingly. “Did you tell him he can do that?”
“No, I had a huge fight with him over the phone. But when I came home, Nat was packing, and we had a long conversation about it. I have to admit that bastard was right. I know Nat well, but I was shocked at how well she took it. If he didn’t do that, I believe I would come to half of my things burned, but instead, we talked for hours and hugged goodbye. I suppose I owe him an apology, but I still feel betrayed.”
“I can understand that. So she thinks you found another woman?”
“Yeah.”
“Right.”
We looked at each other for a moment. I couldn’t help but brush a few hairs off his face and hold my hand on his temple. He turned slightly, and my hand slipped off him.
“And how did you end up talking with Peter?”
“Right… I woke up in an empty bed, and it felt strange… With everything happening at once, I was overwhelmed, and I just sat in my car and drove left, right, straight, back.”
Thomas looked at me quizzically. “What is that?”
“Game we used to play with my buddies when life was too much. Every time we stopped at a red light, we started chanting — Left, right, straight, back… And at what word the green came, there we went.”
“What if there was no left?”
“Then we chanted — right, straight, back,” I winked at him, and he smiled a little.
“I like that.”
“Yeah, it’s fine. If you want, I can take you some time.”
He looked at me. “Rather not, but thanks.”
.
I nodded, understanding. “And then, as I turned, I saw Ross.”
Thomas raised his brow. “Ross Garret?”
“I don’t know his surname, that big guy from New Year’s at Ben’s.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“You went to college together?”
“Yes.”
“He’s a great guy. I like him,” I admitted.
“He’s also pretty powerful dominant,” he smirked.
“I know.” I laughed, and Thomas looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read. Was he curious if I let Ross top me? He looked like he was fighting whether to ask that question.
“We just talked, and he took me inside.”
“Inside where?” Thomas straightened his back. He is cute when he is jealous.
Only now, I realized how that could sound. I didn’t mean to mislead him. “Ben’s gym. I somehow ended up there.”
That seemed to surprise him even more. He turned to me with his body and rested his elbow on the backrest bending the knee on the couch between us. “Really?”
“Yeah…I didn’t even know where that was. I suppose that’s why everyone at his party was so ripped.”
Thomas shook his head, smiling. “Fascinating…”
.
Seeing him smile was nice, and I grinned too. “Tell me about it. Ross had some issues himself and went to train there. Ben was there as well, and they nearly destroyed me! Man, I am still sore!”
Again that look… Right… I should be careful about double meanings today. I didn’t want to tease him. I just genuinely didn’t realize it all.
“We trained Thomas. Well, I mean gym-wise. They are sick! I never exercised so hard! I think if I were in my prime, I would have a problem keeping up with them.”
His look has become softer now. “Yeah, they are quite driven, especially if Ross came to deal with anger.”
“It helped… A lot, actually.”
Thomas smiled. “I am glad.”
.
I nodded. “Still, it wasn’t anywhere near as being with you.” I looked at him, but he just gazed at me.
“Then Peter came down, and they invited me for lunch. We talked a lot. They are amazing. They care about you a great deal.”
Thomas watched me, resting his head in his palm over the backrest.
“I was a bit scared at some point, to be honest. It was as if I talked with your two big brothers and understanding sister,” I laughed a little.
Thomas’s lips curved into a warm smile. “That’s nice.”
“What did Peter tell you?”
“For example, they were shocked that I even saw your bed. They immediately switched to those protective brothers when I told them I had spent the night. Well, Peter told me about his tries to get back to you. But mostly, they said one thing that I had to admit… If I am not willing to become gay for you, I have no right to hold you. I realized that I do tend to hurt people who love me… I don’t want to do that to you.”
He looked at me as if I was saying something he never expected of me. I could understand that now.
“Thank you…”
.
But even despite all my efforts, I couldn’t shake the sadness I felt realizing that. Was I really able to give him up?
“Still, Thomas, I can’t stop thinking about you! Many people told me they love me, but I never cared about anyone’s confession as I did about yours. It’s making me crazy just to sit here next to you.”
“Yet you cannot imagine spending life without women.”
I shook my head. “No… I cannot. I believe if you were a woman, I would be faithful to you, but then I could never do the things to you that I did… So I don’t think there’s a win in this, and I believe you don’t want to share me with anyone.”
“No. I would never want that.”
“They refused to tell me why you hate straight people.”
“I don’t hate straight people, Matt.”
“Okay, right. Why don’t you want to date straight people?”
“Well, that is quite self-explanatory, Matt.”
I looked at him sternly. “You know what I mean, Thomas.”
He sighed and leaned against the backrest looking in front of him.
“When I was a freshman at college, I fell in love with one guy. Derek. A bad boy who loved pain, and I loved giving it to him. I assumed he was bi, but now when I met you, I started to believe that he was really straight.”
“I was his best-kept secret for over a year. I hated it. I kept punishing him for it every time, and it never was enough for either one of us. After a while, I realized how toxic this was. It was destroying me inside. So I broke it off. He came crawling back, but then he found a girlfriend, and that was the line I refused to cross.”
[zilla_likes]