“So tell me, are we ok?” Luke asked.
Jack made an attempt at a chuckle, but it ended up sounding like a cough “you’re great… I need a little work.”
Luke laughed “Why do you think you need work and aren’t perfect just the way you are?”
“Perfect people don’t hit on friends… or at least people they barely know hoping to become friends.”
“So if I hit on Reve, that would be ok?”
Jack paused “yeah, I suppose so… but that’s different. It’s not the same thing.
“Is it because we’re both men?”
“Let’s not forget you’re not gay or into guys” Jack’s voice wavered “that’s the most embarrassing part.”
–
“Jack, when did you realize you were gay?” Luke’s voice turned introspective.
“I’ve known as long as I can remember. I never considered there were options… until I started hearing things from guys in school. Why?”
Luke was now staring directly at Jack
“What if nobody ever told you?”
“Told me what?” Jack asked “I’m not following.”
“When Chris, that’s Christine just to avoid any future confusion” they both laughed “left me she just didn’t leave for a another job, she left me for a another person. She left me for another woman.”
Jack continued staring at Luke.
“I never realized that was a possibility…. not at this stage in my life. I always believed you were born gay and loved someone gay. I never saw this coming. I thought we were happy. I thought we knew each other. Then to be dropped out of the blue… for a women! Was I just an experiment? Did she just use me to find out if she was gay?”
“C’mon Luke, you know that’s not true. You’re in your twenties, I’m sure you know people live, or have lived, their lives in the closet? Bisexual people existed before Chris left you.”
Luke’s face changed dramatically. He looked heartbroken, like someone just told him there’s no Santa Claus. Everyone knew a secret and they were hiding the answer from him.
“Jack, I’m thinking… afraid… I’m bisexual? I think I might be… or maybe could be…” He stopped talking and did that thing Jack always does when a situation was uncomfortable, he looked at his feet.
–
Luke tilted his head back, draining the last of the beer bottle, and returned to looking at his feet.
“You know, when you kissed me last night, I wasn’t offended… or mad…. or anything other than confused. I enjoyed it. Fuck I loved it! I never kissed another guy before, and I didn’t know how to react. I always wanted to be with a guy, you know, try things.” Luke sighed as pink blush filled his cheeks “I’ve always considered myself straight – but then everything that happened with Chris – left me wondering if I always thought I was straight because I was told I was… do you know what I mean.”
Jack reached over and touched Luke’s arm. “Just because you enjoyed a kiss from a guy doesn’t make you bisexual.
Luke quickly stood up “do you want another beer? I could use another beer.”
Jack got up and followed him back into the house. Luke twisted the tops off two more bottles, handed one to Jack, and almost downed his entire second bottle in one gulp.
Jack reached over and took Luke’s beer. “Here, I’m gonna hold onto this for just another minute or two, Ok? Until we talk some more”
“Let me ask you” Jack pondered “Are you more scared of being gay – or let’s say bi – or more scared of admitting it?”
“I’m more scared of not being sure. I loved kissing you, even if it was just a short kiss, it made me feel warm and happy. I’m surprised I felt that way and I want more.”
Jack set the beer bottles down on the counter, moving closer in front of Luke. He melted as Luke wrapped his arms around him, pulling them together, chests touching, in a tender embrace.
“You don’t have to figure this out today. You can work it out at your own pace and decide what makes you comfortable.”
As Luke held him, Jack could feel a stiffening against the thin, lightweight fabric of Luke’s pajama bottoms… something pressing against his thigh. A firmness growing between Luke’s legs. Luke was getting hard.
“Will you help me figure this out?” Luke’s voice was strained.
Jack smiled “of course I will.”
–
Jack broke away from the hug “Ok, let’s go out and enjoy this day!” exclaiming “I call for a beach day!”
Luke was excited. “The beach? I haven’t been to the beach in forever!”
“Settled then… beach it is. Put on some shorts and grab whatever you need for Olive. We’re having a daddy/doggie day in the sand.”
It didn’t take long for Luke to pack a big duffle bag.
“We’ll swing back to my place, I’ll grab some things for me and Theo and we’ll hit the road.”
–
Top down on the car – men and dogs piled in – they took the short drive back to Jack’s. He packed a bag too and the group headed off.
“So where are we going?” Luke asked
“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it.”
Luke looked a bit concerned. “A surprise beach… interesting.”
Jack hopped on I-676 headed for I-95
Everyone was quite for a while… the guys lost in thought, the dogs noses in the breeze.
“Jack, can I ask you something?” Luke was shy.
“Of course.”
“Can we kiss again? W-would that be OK?
Jack reached over putting his hand on Luke’s knee.
“Luke, you know it would be… but I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through. I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”
“Ok, I understand that… but right now my brain says it wants to – and that’s what I’m trying to follow.”
Jack let a wide smile spread across his face.
The rest of the drive popped between short rounds of silence and the occasional sing-a-longs that spontaneously erupted when particular songs came on the radio. They both were thinking about Luke’s request, but each was trying to put it out of their minds – each were processing it differently.
“I haven’t been to the beach in forever. Mike and I used to come here on a regular basis, but when we were over… it just felt so sad. I’m excited to make this trip.”
Passing a ‘Welcome to New Jersey’ sign, Jack eventually turned off the Garden State Parkway into Gunnison Beach – leading to a large parking area. The guys unloaded the trunk… bringing the bags they packed, and headed toward a sandy area, greeted by a sign “Sandy Hook: Beyond This Point You May Encounter Nude Sunbathers.”
“You brought me to a nude beach!?” Luke asked shocked
“Yeah… I think it has to be one of my favorite spots – if you get your timing right. You don’t want to be here when it’s super crowded.”
They rounded the corner from the parking lot, it was just as Jack hoped, the beach was busy, but not too packed. Men and women, ages ranging twenties to eighties dotted the expanse of sand.
“I-I don’t know if i can do this” Luke stammered.
“Not even if I promise to kiss you?” Jack winked, clearly testing and teasing Luke.
Luke laughed and stood up straight “Ok then, first time for everything.”
They strode to the far end of beach that allowed dogs, dotted with signs reminding visitors to keep pets close and clean up after them. All in all, it was warm with a beautiful view of the ocean. A pleasant breeze coming off the water. They picked an open piece of real estate in the back against the dunes.
“So… what do we do now?” Luke blushed