“Hey there! I’m Devin Walls, your new roomie.” He flashed me his smile and I kind of forgot how to speak. I stood there for a while, probably with my mouth hanging open. I was dumbfounded. I was supposed to room with this gorgeous stud?
“Um, can I come in?” Devin asked, looking straight into my eyes.
I nodded, but apparently my brain wasn’t working yet, because once again I just stood there. I watched Devin’s eyebrows raise and it finally dawned on me that I was standing in the middle of the doorway and unless Devin shoved me aside, my new roomie couldn’t get in. I kind of mumbled a ‘sorry’ and slid to the side to let him in.
“Thanks, sleepyhead.” He grinned at me and that’s when I realized I was standing in my knit boxer briefs and nothing else. I watched Devin’s eyes slide down my chest and stop at the hard bulge. Unfortunately there was just no way to hide it, but I tried anyway and slid my hands in front of my crotch.
Devin laughed. “Must have been some great dream, buddy. Sorry I woke you from it!” At that Devin reached over and ruffled my already mussed hair.
I couldn’t help it, I smiled back. My new roommate was being so nice and had even given me an out for my raging hard on, allowing me to keep my dignity. Yeah, I liked him at once.
Over the next few weeks we had really gotten to know each other. We had a lot of the same interests, although Devin wasn’t into sci-fi. But he always listened when I talked about it. We both liked basketball, me as a spectator, he as a player, but we could still share the love of the game. When I found out he liked Snicker Bars, I opened my desk drawer and showed him an entire bag of unopened Snickers.
He had laughed and said, “Oh, wow! You know the way to a man’s heart, Gage!”
I blushed at that, even though I knew he was just joking around.
We got along so well, he even gave me a nickname: Buzz.
I asked him why he called me that one day.
“You seem to know so much about science fiction and until I met you I didn’t even know there was that much out there. And you are the only one that has ever talked about things from science fiction that could be applied to real life.” He paused and smiled at me, looking a little embarrassed as he spoke. “You must be the smartest guy I have ever met. You look beyond what is available now in science and think about things that could be available in the future. That’s why I gave you that nickname.”
I had no idea what he was talking about. “Um, I don’t get the connection, dude. Where does Buzz come in?”
He looked surprised. “You know… Buzz Lightyear? From Toy Story?”
“You think I look like Buzz Lightyear?” I asked, incredulously.
He looked at me, his eyes wide. “Crap! No, I’m not explaining it right. You know his phrase? To Infinity and Beyond? That makes me think of you, because you are looking to the future. The infinite future? And…beyond?”
Hmm, I reminded him of a cartoon character. That didn’t say much for my sex appeal.
“Okay.” I smiled. It was a little weird, but it was sweet, so I let it go and told him good-night as I slipped into bed.
“Night, little buddy.”
I had blushed at his words. I didn’t have to ask him why he sometimes also called me “little buddy”. That was obvious to anyone. At only 5’4″ I certainly wasn’t going to win any height contests. Add my slender build to that and I am not a large guy by any means. I don’t work out like he does, but I do like to run, which gives me some definition in my chest, shoulders and stomach, but nothing like the six-pack on Devin. And where Devin had a lot of dark, thick black hair that covered his pecs and swirled into a trail that disappeared into his boxers, I barely had any hair on my chest. The hair I did have was such a pale blonde, it could be missed if anyone looked quickly.
The hair on my head was the same pale blonde. I wear it a little shaggy, parted on the side and the ends curl up a little. I have some freckles tossed across my pale skin, including my nose and cheeks, but not a lot. I inherited my mother’s green eyes and pale skin and my dad’s small frame. It was funny that my sister was almost 5’10”. I had no idea where it came from. The family joke was that our mom had an affair with the mailman.
But back to the here and now. What was I going to do about tonight? I couldn’t spend the whole evening alone with him. In the beginning our friendship had been easy. Natural. But somewhere a little while back, I realized my feelings had changed; I wanted more. I was very attracted to Devin and my nights were filled with lust filled dreams. But it wasn’t just the sexual attraction. I liked Devin for who he was. He was a genuine, down-to-earth guy. I’d been pondering coming out to him, and I knew in my heart that he wouldn’t judge me, but it would still be hard. I couldn’t admit my feelings to him; it was clear Devin was straight.
I sighed. Maybe this was the night to meet my online friend. I opened my laptop again and quickly logged in to the group that I found about a month ago. It was an online group of gay students from this college. It was just a way to talk to others about things we all understood; things straight people may not necessarily deal with. One night recently the topic wasHow to Deal with Feelings for a Straight Man.Oh, yeah, I had participated in that one.
That was the night I met David. He admitted he had it bad for his roommate, too and we immediately bonded. After a couple weeks of talking online, David had brought up the idea of meeting up somewhere. I still remembered the online conversation.
I can’t go another day like this! I need to find release! Why did I fall for my roommate?? Maybe if I got laid, I could get past it! I can’t keep looking at him and thinking how badly I want to bend him over and take him. Just pound him until he calls my name out over and over!
I had laughed because we were in such similar circumstances.
I know what you mean. Except for me, I keep imagining him bending ME over and taking me.
Oh, yeah? You like the other guy to be in charge? I like to be in charge…
That had led to some sex talk and then he had proposed we get together and “help each other out”. I had been a little stunned. I hadn’t really thought this friendship could become something like a hook-up.
I had sat there for a little while, mulling it over in my mind. Devin had been on his computer that night working on a project and I snuck a glance at him. It didn’t feel right to me to hook-up with someone when I was so into someone else. I couldn’t have a one night stand just because I was lonely. I’m just not like that. But, I wouldn’t mind a new friend. I finally messaged him back.
Thanks, but I am a virgin. I am little bit of a romantic and just not looking for casual sex. But, if you are looking for a friend, I am up for that.
I hadn’t heard from him for a couple of days after that. I realized I had shown how pathetic I was: crazy over a straight guy and turning down sex from another man. Maybe I should have said yes… Maybe I should also get my head examined.