In the end, my online friend agreed and understood. He still wanted to get together, though. In fact he had asked again just this morning. He said his roommate was going to be out and we could hang out in his room if I wanted. I had told him I had plans, so I couldn’t, but now that I was stuck in the room for the evening with the man of my dreams, I was rethinking that decision.
I sent David a message through the online group and waited to see if he got it.
Still want to get together tonight?
We hadn’t exchanged cell numbers or even what dorms we were in. For all I knew, David lived down the hall.
I glanced over at Devin who was now in his bed, laying on his back, with an arm folded underneath his head. He was busy on his cell, so I looked back at his computer, hoping David would message me and help me escape. As much as I loved spending time with Devin, it was becoming torture to be near him and not touch him. How many nights had I fantasized about kissing those lips?
A message popped up on my screen.
Yeah! Can’t come here now, though. Roommate home. Damn, need to get out of here before I jump him! He’s so damn cute. It’s killing me.
I smiled a little. God, I could relate.
OK. How about the commons? Near the pizza place?
David responded immediately.
Sounds good. Wait! How will I know you?
I bit back a laugh. This was beginning to sound a little like a covert operation. I thought for a second and scanned the room, coming up with an answer.
I will be wearing a red Nike hoodie and I have blonde hair. I’m pretty short, too.
OK. See you in half hour Mark. It will be nice to finally come face to face with you.
I winced at that. Crap… I still couldn’t believe I was such a wimp that I had lied about my name! Oh, well. Pretty soon we would meet and could commiserate together. I decided I would give him my real name when we met. I really didn’t like lying. Plus, the more we got to know each other through our online chats, the more I realized he is the kind of guy I would normally fall for. If I weren’t already so hung up on Devin, that is. David seemed like a really nice guy and he deserved honesty.
I shut my laptop, grabbed my red hoodie from the top of my dresser and turned to tell Devin I was heading out, but paused at his expression. He was giving me a very strange look.
“What?” I asked. “Do I have something on me?” I scanned my clothes, but didn’t see anything, so I pulled my hoodie on.
“You going out?” Devin asked, never answering the question.
“Yeah. I’m meeting a friend for dinner and then just taking it from there.” I couldn’t figure out why Devin was still looking at me with a weird expression. “Hey, are you okay?”
Devin sort of shook his head and a huge grin spread across his beautiful face. “Yeah, I’m okay. Actually, I’m great! So, where are you going?”
“Just to the Commons. Why? You hungry?” Oh, no!Why did I ask him that?This could ruin the entire evening. I didn’t want to be rude, but I really needed to get away from Devin to clear my head and work through the feelings that overwhelmed me so often. I waited for Devin to answer, silently praying he would say no.
“Nah. I might run over there later for a cheeseburger, but I’m good right now. Thanks. Have a good time.” He still had a huge grin on his face when I turned to leave.
I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped out into the hall. Soon I was making my way through the grounds over towards the Commons.
********************
Devin’s POV
I couldn’t quit smiling. The minute I saw Gage close his computer and reach for his red hoodie, I knew. I justknew.And that was more than I could have hoped for!
The past few months had been torture as my crush on Gage had turned into something deeper. I had fallen in love with him. Everything he said, everything he did, how he looked, and god, the way he smelled, it all made me want him more. I knew I had to do something soon or I was going to lose my mind. Even my grades were suffering.
From the day Gage opened the door in just his little boxer briefs, my heart had been doing flip-flops. I thought it was just a little crush on a cute guy at first, but soon my dreams were filled with him. I ached to touch him everywhere and I stared at him whenever I could get away with it. And Gage starred in my nightly jack-off sessions. One night, in a particularly stupid move on my part, I started stroking my hard cock while he slept just a few feet away in his bed. As I imagined it was him touching me, I accidentally cried out Gage’s name as I climaxed and had been terrified he heard. Thank god, he never mentioned it.
At first, I was pretty sure Gage was straight, but I noticed he never dated, never talked about women, and never told me about any girl he was interested in. I, on the other hand, had always played the straight card: I dated women, talked about women and had even slept with two. Both times with women had only solidified that I was gay. Not bi. Gay. I was only attracted to men.
One day a few weeks ago, Gage had left his laptop open while he was in the bathroom. I needed to look up something and was having connection issues with my laptop, so I slid over to the other desk and went to log into the college portal. We had used each other’s computers before and it was no big deal. But the website he was on caught his eye. It was a page full of half-dressed men in hot poses. I gasped because I realized I had surfed that website myself! I slid away from the computer without using it because I didn’t want to embarrass Gage. I hadn’t said anything about it that night, either.
Over the next week I had tried to figure out a way to approach the subject with him. I had to find out if Gage was gay and if he was attracted to me at all. I tried to come up with other reasons Gage could have been on that website, but kept circling back to the same conclusion: Gage was gay. Or bi. My heart fluttered at the thought that I might have a chance with him.
One night I was so sexually frustrated, I had wandered into a gay chatroom that was only for men that attended my college. Sort of like our own little Frat. I used a fake name, too embarrassed to say who I was because I wasn’t out, yet. I made a friend online and chatting came easy. We had a lot in common. He was hot for his roommate, too. Apparently I wasn’t the only lovesick fool in the dorms.
I was careful not to ever say Gage’s name. I didn’t feel right about sharing that information. There were sort of unwritten rules in the chat room. It was a safe place to discuss things, but nobody was there to ‘out’ people who may or may not be gay.
For weeks I had wanted to share my feelings with Gage, but was afraid to scare him. He was so sweet and adorable and I felt like a big, dumb jock around him most of the time. But, I reminded myself, just because I was on the basketball team and liked to work out, didn’t mean I wasn’t smart. I know people assume jocks are dumb and hoped that Gage didn’t think that. Gage had a brilliant mind and ever since meeting him, I had found myself working harder on my studies, looking things up to discuss with Gage and even watching a couple of documentaries that, surprisingly, were interesting. I felt like Gage was helping me grow, without him even realizing it.