Mark and I had become good “pen pals” over the last couple of weeks. One particularly lonely night I had floated the idea that we hook up and help each other over this issue. But in my heart, I didn’t really want to. I only wanted to be with Gage. Thank goodness Mark had the sense to turn me down. But we remained friends.
And then tonight happened. I was just messaging with Mark and we had decided to meet when I noticed Gage grab his red Nike hoodie. At first I thought I was crazy. There was no way Gage was Mark, right? It was just my heart trying to grasp at simple coincidences.
But then he said he was going to the Commons. That was just too coincidental. My heart beat faster as I watched him go out the door. I waited a couple minutes to give him a head start. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say when I got there, but I knew one thing: it was time to end this torture!
*******************
Gage’s POV
I was nervous as I entered the commons. I quickly scanned the area and decided to grab a soda while I waited. Within a few minutes I was sitting at a booth, my red hoodie still on, but the hood down so David could see my blonde hair. I looked around again. Not too busy tonight, I thought, which was good. I felt jittery. I wasn’t really sure why. I was just meeting a friend. It’s not like I was going on a date with Devin!
I took a deep breath and fiddled with my straw as my thoughts wandered to Devin. I wondered if he was still in our room. Now that I was away from him, all of my thoughts were about being back there with him. God, I was losing my fucking mind. I looked down as I realized I was rapidly bouncing my knee and tried to calm myself. I took another deep breath and heard a voice behind me. A voice I recognized.
“Mark?”
I turned a little in my seat and gasped. ItwasDevin. I felt my cheeks and ears turn red as tears sprang to my eyes. “What…what are you… how?” I was so mortified I couldn’t get a coherent sentence out.
“Hey, it’s okay, Buzz,” Devin whispered as he slipped into the booth across from me and slid his hands towards the middle of the table as if reaching out for mine.
The dam broke and the tears poured from my eyes. I finally understood what it meant to feel your heart break, because mine shattered in my chest at that moment. My lungs felt tight, like I couldn’t get enough air. “Why would you do such a thing to me? This is the cruelest thing anyone has ever done to me!” I tried to keep my voice hushed, but I was so angry and upset and hurt that my emotions were right on the edge. “How could you? How could you set me up like this? I hope you got a good laugh! I hope it was worth it!”
I knew I had to get the hell away from him. I stood up and ran out before he could say another word. I didn’t want everyone to see my meltdown….well, anymoreof my meltdown.
**************************
Devin’s POV
I was shocked. It had never occurred to me that Gage would think this was a prank. I wanted to explain, but he had run out so quickly, I didn’t get a chance. I stupidly sat still for about fifteen seconds before running after him.
By the time I got out the door, I didn’t see Gage and was kicking myself for being an idiot. I scanned the area and caught a flash of red out of my eye and turned. It was him and he was running back across the grounds, already close to our dorm. I dashed after him, determined to fix this. I had never wanted to hurt him.
He was a fast runner, but Gage’s short legs were really no match for my long ones and I caught up to him as he entered the dorm. I reached out to him, grasping the sleeve of his hoodie, but Gage whipped his head around and when he saw me he backed away forcefully. His face was a sea of emotions as I saw shock, fear, anger and even sadness fight for control. His dark lashes, wet with tears, only stood out more against his flushed skin. I wanted to reach up and soothe him; to cool his cheeks with my hands. But I couldn’t. Not yet. I had to make him understand.
“Oh, god, Gage. I wasn’t trying to hurt you!” I said, my clenched hands and pressed against my jeans. My heart was breaking. How had I fucked this up so badly?
Gage turned away from me and ran into an open elevator. There were several others already standing inside it and the sliding doors were just about to connect, when I slid my hand between them, causing them to reopen. People stepped back to make room for me, but I was barely aware of them. I only saw Gage.
“Please look at me!” I pleaded, trying to keep my voice low, but knew everyone could hear me. I didn’t really care. “Please Gage! I didn’t do this to hurt you…I would never hurt you.” Giving in to the desire to touch him, I reached down and lifted Gage’s chin with my hand until he was looking at me. God, the pain in his eyes was so raw. Tears stained his cheeks and his lips were trembling. “I would neverintentionallyhurt you. I am so, so sorry.”
Gage’s eyes swept from side to side, looking at anything and everything but me. He seemed to be weighing his words as he wiped at a straggling tear and nodded a little. “I know. I-I was just shocked. I trust you, Devin. I do. But… but the things I shared… I am mortified. I…I don’t know what to say.” His voice trailed off at the end and I knew he was close to sobbing again.
I think my heart started to beat again at that moment. He trusted me. There was hope. I smiled. “Don’t you understand, yet?” I asked him softly as I cupped his cheeks with my hands, brushing away his tears with my thumbs.
Gage sniffled a little, still confused. His eyes peered into mine and I felt that he was looking into my soul. Never in my life had I felt that connection before. My heart thundered in my ears. The elevator had stopped on the next floor, but nobody was moving. Apparently our audience had no desire to stop watching us anytime soon. A student even pushed the button to hold the door open. No one stepped out. Gage looked like he was trying to figure out a puzzle in his head. “No. No, I don’t understand why you would humiliate me.” His voice was quiet; so sad. His eyes pleaded with me to make things better; to help him understand this. I looked back at him and felt myself fall deeper. Hell, I didn’t just fall, I plummeted. Head first. There was no going back now.
“Gage, I didn’t do it to hurt you. I did it because…” I took a deep breath.It was now or never,I told myself. “Because I am crazy about you! I didn’t know how to tell you how I felt and it was easier this way. I didn’t even know it was you I had been talking to until tonight.” My words poured out as I finally was able to tell him how I felt.
There were a few gasps in the elevator and someone murmured, “This is so romantic.”
I had almost forgotten we were in the elevator, but I kept my gaze on Gage. He looked as if he was trying to make sense of things. His eyes were wide as he stared at me.
“You… you’re crazy about…about me?” Gage’s voice was barely a whisper.
I nodded, smiling at him. My knees felt a little weak, but I needed him to know the truth. “It’s more than that. I’m in love with you, Gage.” My voice trembled and my body shook as I whispered my secret.