What the…? No fucking way? He can’t be serious. I had to use every ounce of self-restraint to not laugh at him. I was giving Daniel Day-Lewis a run for his money.
“What about yesterday, though?”
“Well… first days don’t count. The health department gives a company twenty-four hours to prepare for the inspection process with new employees.”
Archer just nodded. He didn’t seem at all bothered by what I was saying. An odd sense of power coursed through my veins. I’d thought it’d just be a funny joke – one that he’d shut down either amicably or sullenly — but it was shifting into something else.
“Okay, what do I need to do?”
“Ummm…” Shit! What does he need to do? I hadn’t thought that far. “I… I just need to take a few pictures for your personnel file.”
“Oh, that’s easy.”
A huge grin spread across Archer’s face. I think he was just happy that the inspection seemed easy. I doubt he’d have been as complacent if I told him it’d be a set of essays he had to write about health and safety.
“Where should I stand?” he asked.
“Against the wall,” I said, pointing towards the white bricks to my left.
Archer strutted over and waited for further instruction. My heart raced as I pulled my phone out. I wondered if he was going to ask why I was using it for the photos instead of a digital camera.
“So… do I just stand here?”
“I need a few different angles,” I bull-shitted.
The first snaps were the easiest. I just had him stand with his hands to the side for the initial shot; he even smiled like he was getting his senior portrait taken. He was radiating what some of my friends referred to as “golden retriever energy” – sweet, but dumb. I had him place his hands behind his head for the second shot; a wild tuft of golden hair under each armpit caught my attention. He looked like he belonged on a beach in California with his tanned skin, blond locks, and jacked body.
“Okay. Now we gotta do the back side.”
“Sorry I didn’t wear boxers today, buddy,” he said with a chuckle. “I feel bad that you have to stare at my ass.”
Archer had the best ass I’d ever seen. I was amazed by how muscular it was, given his height. I’d always thought tall guys had a harder time with that. It had a dimple on each side that made me think of the ones on his face, and just enough fat to jiggle a little when he shifted his weight.
“It’s fine. We’ve gotta follow the instructions.” I’d tried to sound as serious as possible. I didn’t want the lust sneaking out as I spoke. I took several close-ups of his impressive bubble. “Okay, that’s all the photos they need.”
“Cool.”
“But…” Really? Are you really doing this, B? He’s going to beat the crap of you, and you’ll deserve it. I was drunk on my newfound power, though. I was also becoming more aware of just how compliant my new plaything was. I’d met plenty of stupid jocks, but Archer seemed to be so dumb that it was almost impossible to believe.
“…now we have just one more thing,” I finally said, feeling my heart racing. “I need to apply some anti-bacterial lotion to keep any germs or viruses from jumping from your body onto the food.”
“Huh? I’d never thought about that. It’s kind of like when our dog, Lucy, had fleas. We had to put something on her to keep them from jumping onto us.”
“Exactly!”
My hands were almost shaking as I pulled a bottle of Lubriderm from the desk drawer. I’d used it during the winter to keep my hands from cracking while I worked. I pulled off the label so I could tell him it was something else if he tried to look at the container.
“How do you need me to stand?”
“You can stay facing the wall.”
I pumped thick white cream onto my palm before setting the bottle on a table next to us. I took a deep breath as I moved closer to Archer. His back was broad and strong. I leaned forward and sniffed the skin on his spine. I reminded me of the smell in the air just after a lightning bolt strikes a massive tree – electricity and earthiness.
I started slathering the lotion onto his back. His skin felt so warm beneath my delicate fingers. I let them guide me across the places where various muscle groups collided with one another.
“It’s kind of like a rubdown,” he mused. “Like, after practice or games we can get one if something is really sore. You aren’t pushing hard enough for it to be the same, though.”
Archer seemed bemused by the comparison. I was amazed how comfortable he seemed. In a surprising twist, I was certain I was more mortified than he was.
Once I finished his back, I looked down at his two large globes. No, not yet.
“Turn… turn around.”
“Yes, boss.”
I was so close to him. It was the closest I’d ever been to a man who was practically naked. It was intoxicating for a nerd who’d never felt anything but anxiety when a guy as good-looking as Archer came too near.
“Isn’t this weird for you?” I asked. I wasn’t sure why I had. In hindsight, maybe it was an attempt at self-sabotage. I was feeling too good in the moment and I needed to punish myself. I’d primed him to think what we were doing was odd when he hadn’t seemed to care.
“Not really. At wrestling meets, we all hang around in our jocks while we get weighed. Some of the guys don’t wear anything. I guess I’m used to it from all the sports. I feel bad for you, though. I imagine you’re not used to doing this kind of stuff.”
I couldn’t believe it. He’d given me the perfect out. “Yeah, it’s kinda weird. It’s not like I like touching other dudes, but I’ve gotta do what I’m told if I don’t want to get fired. You definitely owe me big time, man.”
“For sure! I’m just happy you’re training me and not some ass-hat.”
I coated my palms with lotion again and began to rub Archer’s chest. He looked down at me while I focused on the feeling of his smooth skin.
“I’ve been trying to pump up my pecs. I’ve always had an easier time with my biceps.”
“Well… it seems to be working. They’re the biggest ones I’ve ever seen.”
“Nice. Thanks for boosting my ego, B!”
I moved my hands south. His abs were unlike anything I’d ever touched. They were hard and taut. I made my fingers trace the deep grooves that divided them into eight smaller sections.
“Hah! That tickles, bro.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean… I’m just trying to get the antibacterial in every nook and cranny. I don’t want either of us to get into trouble.”
“For sure. I wasn’t mad or anything. I was just surprised.”
I did his biceps next. I even asked him to flex for me; I told him it’d make it easier to apply the lotion. Of course, he didn’t think twice about the request before following my guidance.
“I’m going to do your legs now.”
“Okay.”
My throat started to dry as I lowered myself down onto my knees. Archer’s package was right in my face. I was trying to not look at it, since I was afraid that’d be the thing that suddenly boosted his IQ by thirty points and made him realize what was actually happening.
“Sorry about my dick, bud,” Archer said, noticing that I was trying not to look at it. “Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t go commando today, huh?”
He started laughing; I let out a chuckle to mirror his emotion. My hands massaged his calf muscles. They were bigger than my biceps. They had to be the hairiest part of his body aside from his armpits; even then, he wasn’t all that furry.