A gay story: Brotherly Love Sometimes it seemed like a dream to me. Two weeks ago I’d wound up at my brother Scott’s apartment and gotten stoned and next thing I knew he was sucking my dick. All kinds of things happened from there. It was kind of a wild night. The next day, however, he’d all but pushed me out of his apartment. I wasn’t sure if what had happened had been my fault. Maybe I’d embarrassed him. I did know that night I’d gone through a million and one sensations, having him suck me and then later on have sex with me, it was the some of the most amazing feelings and one of the most intense experiences I’d ever had. I thought about it all the time and every time I let my thoughts head that way I’d inevitably get a hard on. Then feel guilty because it was my older brother I was fantasizing about.
With no explanation he showed up outside my school one lunchtime a couple of weeks later. I recognised his car and wandered over. He was leaning back against it, wearing his versace jeans and a skin tight white teeshirt. He smiled at me over black ray bans and I felt an incredible sense of relief to see him but all the same when I reached him I felt shy.
“Hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you,” he said. “Got any classes this afternoon.”
I nodded.
“Smart kid like you, you can afford to cut school for one afternoon,” he said. I hesitated. It was my senior year and while I wasn’t flunking my academic record wasn’t exactly stunning. “Sure, you can,” said Scott, opening the door not thinking for a moment I was going to say no to him. And he was right. “I need your help with something.”
“Okay,” I said. “Sure.” I got into the car wondering what it was he had planned. I have to admit I was also wondering if things were going to get as hot as last time.
Scott slid into the drivers seat, he was so good looking. We look a little alike but not much. Its like I’m some kind of smudged copy of the original. His face is angular and strong and when he smiles it lights up his face like he is planning the most outrageous mischief. And generally he is.
“You haven’t been over lately,” hesaid breaking into the silence as we pulled out onto the road.
“Been busy,” I said. He glanced at me and his eyes were laughing and I started to relax. I’d been out of my mind to think he might be weird about what happened. Scott loved weird. That’s the exact lifestyle he wishes to cultivate. “I didn’t know if you wanted me coming over.” I said being a little more honest.
“You’re my kid brother,” he said. He’d pulled up to a red light. He looked at me and his expression was serious, maybe even a little sad. “That’s a truth that isn’t ever going to change. No matter what happens. I’m always going to be glad to see you. I know what its like living with Dad remember,” he grinned. Scott had been kicked out of home. No big surprise, huh. “I know you need to get away from him sometimes, you can come over to me any time. I’m always going to be there for you, promise.”
“Okay,” I said because it wasn’t like Scott to make speeches like that and I didn’t know exactly how to respond. “So what do you want my help with?”
Usually its money. Scott has a serious drug habit. He thinks its not a problem because he’s not begging on the streets or anything like that. But he likes getting stoned. A lot. All the time. He likes the people around him to get stoned too. He’s forever borrowing money off me. My Dad would kill me if he knew I gave Scott money. Actually he would kill me if he knew I even saw Scotty. My Dad thinks he is a bad influence and dangerous. That’s what he told me once. He made me promise never to see him. But he’s my brother. What does my Dad expect.
“I’ll tell you when we get to the apartment,” said Scott. And despite everything I felt a rush of excited anticipation. We were going to his apartment, I wasn’t sure what he might have planned or even if I wanted anything to happen but it had felt so good the things we’d done. I kept remembering over and over how it had felt having his lips close on my cock. How hot and warm and wet it had felt being sucked off by him. I’d been wanting to happen again and again.
When we got to his apartment it looked as though it had been trashed. Scott went straight in to the kitchen to get us beers and seemed to genuinely not notice the incredible mess he was living in. I was looking around in amazement, if not a little disgust, sometimes I can’t believe how Scott can live sometimes, this was one of his nicer apartments. He followed my eyes.
“Oh,” he said. “Raoul split a few days ago. We had kind of a fight before he left.”
Raoul was Scott’s boyfriend. I started picking up some of the stuff they’d evidently been throwing at each other or breaking in their fight.
“What’d you fight about?” I asked.
“He found those photographs I took of you,” said Scott calmly watching me over his beer. I felt myself blushing. Although it struck me he had polaroids of a lot of boys, I wasn’t sure why it was me specifically Raoul was mad about. As if he were reading my mind Scott said, “He thought it was wrong because we’re brothers. I explained we’re half brothers, but Raoul suddenly decided to get moralistic about it. He thinks I forced you into it or something.”
I shook my head but I didn’t look at him. He didn’t force me into it. I was curious. I was also a complete mess. I was so stoned I hardly knew what I was doing when it happened. That’s not to say I didn’t like it. I just wasn’t sure it was an experience I’d have tried sober. And it wasn’t anything I wanted to try with any other guy but Scott. I felt safe with him.
“You liked it right,” Scott was suddenly standing next to me. really close. I felt myself getting hot and bothered and it occurred to me that even though I was here and glad to see him, things weren’t ever going to be the same between us. “Hey,” he gently turned my head to him so I looked at him. “You liked it, I know you did.” His voice had got soft and I felt my stomach twist, his hands were on my shoulders and I thought for a second he was going to kiss me. “I’ll go you one better,” he moved really close to me now and I felt myself leaning in towards him as his hands moved down my back and I could feel his breath on my neck, his lips brushing my skin as he whispered in my ear, “I bet you want to do it again.”
“Uh,” I stuttered trying to say I wasn’t sure but instead the only sound that came out was closer to a moan at feeling him so close,. His hand made its way to my crotch and my moan changed to a sigh as he found the bulge in my jeans and caressed it.
“I can feel you do,” he whispered, his hand expertly unbuttoning my jeans, finding my cock. I moaned and leaned against him feeling his fingers lightly touch my cock. He played with it, touching it and then not touching me making me want him, my legs felt shakey, and somehow with his other hand he was helping me pull my teeshirt off. I felt dizzy, I’d only been in apartment two minutes and already this was happening. I’d wanted it to happen. I think. It felt so good. Oh God, it felt good, and even though my eyes were shut I seemed to know where his mouth was and turned towards him and felt his tongue in my mouth exploring, while his experienced fingers teased and played with my cock.
He moved me towards the sofa, managing to help me out of my boxers and jeans on the way. I practically collapsed on it, my legs were so weak. He licked and kissed his way down my chest to my stomach. I was shaking with anticipation. I wanted so bad to feel his mouth on my cock again. I pushed his head down greedily and when he took his cock in his mouth I moaned, leaned back and nothing else in the world mattered except the sensation of his mouth working my cock.
Then suddenly he stopped, it nearly drove me crazy feeling him pull away, like that. My eyes snapped open and I wondered what I’d done but he was smiling at me.
“Yeah you liked that,” he said. “Say it.”
I nodded, I didn’t think I could talk, my cock was throbbing and I wanted to pull him back over and beg him to finish the job.
“Say it, “ said Scott again. He liked to do this. Make me say things. “Say you like getting your cock sucked.”
“I like it,” I whispered. “I like…”
“Say it,” said Scott. “Say you like being sucked off by me.”
“I like being sucked off,” I said but my voice shook and for a second I felt like crying which was weird because it was obvious I liked it, but saying it out loud, I felt like I was announcing I was gay or something.
“I knew you did,” said Scott but he didn’t start up again, instead he tossed my boxers and jeans over to me and I knew he meant for me to get dressed again. I wondered if that was why he’d pulled me out of school. Just to prove that Raoul had it wrong. That was a distinct possibly.
I started to pull my boxers on, I felt ashamed and sort of slutty for wanting him so much. Scott was ignoring me now, he’d turned his attention to rummaging through the overturned book case. I decided to start picking up the mess around his apartment again. When I looked back at Scott it was clear he wasn’t tidying, he was specifically looking for something that had been on the book case, because now he was putting down a couple of lines of white powder on the back of a book. I looked away while he snorted it. Then abruptly he stalked into the bathroom slamming the door.
I carried on tidying because by now I wasn’t sure what was coming next. That had been the last of his stash. I replaced the book case and the empty box his drugs had been in. When he came out again I’d finished tidying and was sweeping up the last of the broken glass from the living room. Scott bounced out in a hyper coked up mood. He kind of grabbed me in a wrestling hold and I shook him off angrily. I was mad at him. I didn’t know what he was doing. Probably just screwing around with me out of some perverse amusement.
“There’s broken glass, leave me alone,” I snapped and took the trashpan through to the kitchen to empty it. When I came back out, Scott had retrieved his beer can and smiled at me looking a little sheepish. He held out my untouched beer can.
“Can I go back to school now,” I asked.
“Aw,” Scott said. “Don’t get mad. Drink your beer, okay. I need to talk to you about a favour I need.”
And cleaning up his trashed apartment didn’t count as a favour. I took the can and sat down, warily measuring out some distance between us. Scott watched me drink the beer and waited.
“Well,” I snapped.
“Finish your beer,” said Scott.
I wasn’t much of a beer drinker and this beer tasted weird but I drank it as fast as I could, I wanted to get out of here. He was in one of his moods and I knew from experience when Scott was hurting he wasn’t happy until everybody was as unhappy and screwed up as he was.
“I’m in trouble,” said Scott. I looked up. “I owe a lot of money that I don’t have. And the guys I owe it to don’t fool around. Understand?”
“I have some money,” I said wearily. I reached for my wallet. “I can get more if you want. I have a hundred or so in the bank. I’ve been mowing lawns…”
Scott rolled his eyes. “I don’t want your lawn mowing money, jeez.” His tone was just about as ungrateful as you’d expect. I scowled at him. That beer had gone straight to my head. I was feeling a little uncoordinated and I wanted to go home and wait for it to wear off. “Besides I need five hundred dollars by tomorrow. I can get a couple of hundred together myself and I need your help to get the rest.”
“How?” I went to put my beer can on the table and missed. I blinked. I wasn’t much of a drinker but I wasn’t normally that bad.
Scott came over to sit beside me. “Listen, this is important. Will you help me, please?”
His tone was serious, not like I’d heard before. I nodded. “Whatever you want me to do,” I said.
“Seriously,” said Scott and I started. There was something in his expression. I knew he was going to ask me some big favour. “There’s this guy, I’ve been telling him about you and he wants to meet you.”
“Oh no way,” I stood up, Scott caught my arm and pulled me down again.
“Listen to me, this is serious. I wouldn’t ask but I’m desperate. Look, he’s really into the fact we’re brothers. He just wants to watch, I swear, and you like it anyway. Where’s the harm?”
“He wants to watch what?” I said slow on the uptake, then I realised what he meant. “No way!” I said still not sure I’d got it.
“I need your help. If I don’t get this money I’m in serious trouble understand,” Scott said. “All he wants is to watch me suck your dick. You let me do it just now, all that’s different is he’s going to watch.”
“Some guy is going to pay you $500 to watch you suck my dick,” I said. I blinked. I don’t know what kind of beer Scott had given me but suddenly things were a little out of focus.
“I swear that’s all he wants to do,” said Scott. “You don’t know him. He doesn’t even live in this town. Where’s the harm.” As he was saying that his hand had found its way to my crotch and he grinned. “Why, Clinton, if I didn’t know you better I would think that the thought of somebody watching you get your dick sucked by your big brother is turning you on.”
I pushed his hand away. He was right, I was hard. But not from what he said about the guy watching. My cock just seemed to jerk into action at the mere mention of Scott sucking my cock, regardless of the audience.
“Come on,” Scott whispered, he moved closer to me, “Do it for me,” he kissed my ear and I shivered as his hand worked its way into my jeans again. This time I didn’t push him away. “Please help me out, okay.”
“Okay,” I whispered, because now his fingers were squeezing my cock and the beer was hitting my blood stream all I could think about was how much I wanted to feel his mouth on me again. And in a way the idea of somebody watching us was a turn on.
Scott had timed it perfectly. Literally thirty seconds after I said okay the doorbell went and Scott jumped up to answer it after telling me to take my teeshirt off. I kept it on while he got the door. The guy who came in wasn’t what I expected at all. I guess I was imagining some sleezy looking guy. This guy looked like a bank manager. Touching fifty but in a sharp suit with some artful frosting on his hair. Scott introduced me but he gave me a different name. The guy shook my hand but he looked straight into my eyes and held my hand a little too long. It unnerved me a little.
Scott was still hyper from the coke. He was jumping around, which made this guy seem all the more focused, he didn’t take his eyes off me. Scott told me to take my shirt off. I hesitated and he nudged me and taking a deep breath I pulled my teeshirt. The guy was just sitting there watching me. I glanced at Scott nervously, he moved closer to me and took my face in his hands. I closed my eyes. This felt exciting and bad and sickening all wrapped up together. I felt Scott kiss me lightly, then gently move his tongue into my mouth. I stayed tensed up as he moved his hands over me. I tried to forget about the guy watching me but I couldn’t.
“Relax,” Scott whispered. “Pretend its Dad watching us.”
That suggestion was so shocking I nearly jumped. Scott grinned at me and I realised that was his way of injecting humour into it.
The guy told us he wanted me to stay standing and for Scott to kneel down. I felt like I was tingling, from fear or sexual excitement I don’t know. The guy was perfectly calm about the whole thing, like he did this kind of thing all the time. Just instructed us step by step what he wanted to see and thankfully most of it involved me just standing there while Scott did all the work. Sometimes he asked us to move so he could see something better. He kept asking Scott if we were brothers and Scott mumbled yes, and he asked me to tell my brother to suck me and I managed to whisper it as I felt Scott start to unhook my belt buckle. I closed my eyes and got ready for it to start.
Scott undid my jeans roughly, quickly like he couldn’t wait and nearly ripped them pulling them off. The guy wanted to see him do it that way. He wasn’t gentle or slow, he pulled them off and pressed his hands on my arse and pulled me to his mouth. I stumbled forward and felt his lips close on my cock. I groaned. Even in this bizarre situation it felt good. I heard the guy murmur, good, and for Scott to suck me hard. I glanced at him and I could see he was unzipping his trousers, playing with his cock, while Scott licked my cock and sucked it. I felt his hands kneading my buttocks as his mouth worked me and I moaned. It felt so good. I could hear Scott breathing hard and the guy in the chair breathing. I moaned again. I felt so slutty and wanton and whispered to Scott to suck me, suck me good.
Then suddenly I heard the guy say, “Okay, he’s ready.” And Scott took his mouth away. My eyes snapped open and I saw the guy had walked over and he was on his knees. Scott moved around behind me and I felt his hands on my shoulders, like he was trying to reassure me, but his grip was so tight he was making sure I wasn’t running.
“Its okay, “he whispered. “I’m not leaving. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“Oh God, “I whispered. My head was buzzing and I didn’t know if I could do this. My legs were shaking but Scott was holding me steady while this guy, this stranger got down and took my cock. “Scott,” I whispered. I wanted him to make it stop. Scott’s hand clamped over my mouth and I felt the guy take my cock in his mouth and start to move up and down my shaft. Scott held his hand tightly over my mouth and whispered in my ear it was okay he was going to make it up to me he promised. He had his arm wrapped around me tightly in a parody of a brotherly hug but really he was holding me still for this guy to suck me and lick me and slip his finger into me, like some kind of inanimate sex toy. I felt tears slip down my cheeks but Scott held me and wouldn’t let go. The guy moved his mouth up and down over my cock, his finger was jammed into my arse and he was working a second finger in, that started to hurt.
“I know you like this, “ I heard Scott whisper, “You can stop crying, you wouldn’t have let this happen if you didn’t want it.”
He wasn’t strictly speaking correct. The guy seemed to drool a lot and sometimes he squeezed tight on my cock when he sucked and it hurt. The pain of having his fingers in my ass was not exactly pleasurable either but after a while I was getting used to his slobbering and Scott let his hand move from my mouth and started playing with my nipples and kissing my ear. In a way that turned me on far more than this guy sucking my cock, I started to respond and I heard Scott whisper good. He turned my head towards him and kissed me and the effect was so amazing, feeling Scott’s tongue in my mouth and this other guys tongue on my cock. I heard myself moan and Scott whispered for me to go ahead and cum and I thrust into the guys throat and felt my cum shoot out. Scott caught me as I went weak kneed. The guy stood up wiping his lips and for a second I felt sick at what I’d done and how it had turned me on, then relief that it was over. But then I realised the guy was unbuttoning his pants and Scott was forcing me down and I heard the guy say, “My turn.”
Scott pushed my head forward towards the guy’s crotch. I nearly gagged but the guys hands clamped on the back of my head and pulled me onto his cock. I felt Scott move away and heard the creak as he sat down on the sofa. The guy was groaning and moving my head over his cock faster and faster.
It didn’t feel like Scott’s. It wasn’t as big for one thing and the guy wasn’t interested in taking it slow, he was just wanting me to suck him and suck hard and fast. I realised he was only semi hard but he was getting harder as he moved his cock in and out of my mouth. Then suddenly he pulled it out.
“I want to fuck him,” he said to Scott. He was still holding my head by the hair. I felt like I was some kind of slave or something and he was negotiating with Scott. I just knelt there dumbly like I didn’t know what was going on.
“That’s not what we agreed,” said Scott. I turned my head to look at him. He was sitting on the sofa. “Come here,” he said to me. I went over to him, acting for all the world like the lapdog he was treating me like. “You’re not fucking him. Nobody fucks him.”
The guy smiled, “I’ll give you an extra two hundred.”
“No,” said Scott. “He’s not used to it.”
“A virgin?” And I heard this curious note of excitement creep into his voice.
There was a second and then Scott said, “Yeah,” I looked at him and he shrugged like even though he knew it wasn’t true nobody would know. He was probably right. I’d only been fucked once and that was by Scott. I was really hoping the guy wouldn’t make him a better offer because I didn’t think I could live with myself if Scott let this old guy fuck me.
“One hundred and you can fuck me,” said Scott lazily. I stared at him. He gave me a smile and said. “What the heck, I’ve got horny watching you.” I still stared at him and he frowned like he didn’t like it. “Unless you want to, Clinton.”
I shook my head but I couldn’t believe my brother was doing this for money. That he’d basically sold me to some guy for money. Scott looked away from me.
“Go into the bathroom and clean up,” he said sharply. He stood up and said to the guy they could go into the bedroom. The guy hesitated and looked at me. “You’re not fucking my brother,” said Scott.
“Okay,” said the guy with a sigh. He walked through to the bedroom.
“Scott, “ I started. I wanted to say no matter how much money he owed. No matter how bad these guys were he owed it to, surely it couldn’t justify what Scott was doing to himself and to me.
“Get cleaned up,” Scott said not looking at me. He got up and closed the door to the bedroom. I stayed where I was, feeling dazed. I was still trying to understand what had just happened, what I’d done and how I could have done it. I tried to stand and my legs were wobbly so I sat down again. Man, I was a mess.
I could hear them through in the bedroom. The guy was moaning but I could also hear him telling Scott what he wanted him to do. Judging from the groans produced, Scott was doing it and doing it well. I couldn’t hear anything from Scott. Then the noise changed slightly I could heard the bed creaking methodically like a metronome and this slapping noise and I knew he was fucking Scott. Scott was lying there silently as this guy moved his pathetic cock in and out getting his pleasure from him.
Suddenly I didn’t want to hear anything more. I went through to the bathroom and turned on the shower hot as I could stand and got in and stood there letting the water run over me, trying to get clean again.
Part Two
I was standing there in a daze and was startled when the shower door was suddenly pulled open. Scott was standing there naked, he dumped his clothes on the floor. His eyes flickered over me and for a second I wanted to cover myself but then I stopped. Part of me wanted him to look at me.
“Get out,” said Scott roughly. “I want a shower.”
I eased out past him and stood there.
“He’s gone,” said Scott. “You can go out. Get dressed. Go home. Whatever.”
He slammed the shower door and stuck his head under the water.
I wrapped a towel around me and went through to the other room. The house seemed really still and quiet. It was about mid afternoon now and I wondered if the guy had been on his lunch hour. I wondered who he was and how Scott knew him. Then I closed my eyes and tried hard not to think any more.
I heard the bathroom door shut and Scott bounded out. He was dressed and he flashed me a smile which seemed incredibly fake to me. I looked away from him and he ruffled my hair. I flinched away.
“You did good,” he said. “I know you did that for me and I appreciate it. You really saved my life, little brother.”
“I’m glad for you,” my voice was shaking. “But if you hadn’t lied to me I probably wouldn’t have.”
“But you did,” said Scott with a half shrug, he was counting some money and then he tossed me a fifty and chuckled. “Maurice liked you.”
I let the money stay where it was. I wanted to rip it up and shove it down his throat.
“I’m going out to see some people. You want to wait here?” Scott asked. “I’ll bring home some takeout you can stayover watch some TV, I’ll drop you off home later.”
I just looked at him. He was trying to pretend everything was normal. He was trying to pretend nothing had happened. Sometimes I wondered if Scott was sane.
“Okay,” he said realising he wasn’t getting a response from me. “Whatever. See you later.”
He hurried out to pay his drug pusher or his loan shark or whoever. I didn’t care. I picked up the fifty dollar bill he’d given me and put it on the table. He could use it for the next time he ran low on coke. I didn’t want anything to do with it. Or Scott.
Except I couldn’t bring myself to leave and I was still there when he got home late evening with chinese and an air of confidence which I took to mean he had no doubt I would still be there. He slipped a DVD into the player. It was porn. But straight porn, he told me, like that made him a gracious host. Or else it was his idea of irony.
He dished out the chinese takeaway and instead of saying grace before eating, snorted another line of coke. He choked and then asked if I wanted some.
“I don’t do drugs,” I said.
He looked at me with a grin.
“I don’t,” I said. “Except that one time and I’m never doing drugs again.”
Scott handed me a pill. “Take this. You already had one in your beer. I think you’ll like it.”
“What!” I exploded. “You put drugs in my beer?”
“Oh relax,” said Scott like I was this huge bore. “You sound as though you believe Dad that drugs are evil.”
“I don’t like what they’re doing to you,” I said and his face darkened. I scrambled away from him but he grabbed my shoulder and I yelped.
“Well Mr Clean, I don’t give a good damn what you think. I happen to like how they make me feel and if you weren’t so damn scared of upsetting our father you’d be as keen to get high as I am. “ He leaned back and I moved away from him rubbing my shoulder.
“How do you know you don’t like getting high unless you try it, “said Scott sniffily. He pushed the pill over to me. “Try it. I promise you, you’ll like it.” He grinned. “It’ll make you horny although you don’t need drugs for that.”
“Screw you,” I snapped.
“If you want,” said Scott in a wholly inappropriate flirtatious manner. I felt like hitting him. “Are you afraid to take it? Afraid you’ll lose control? Worse than I have already seen you lose control before I mean.”
“I’m not afraid of losing control,” I said. “Drugs are just dumb.”
“You don’t know till you try it,” said Scott. “I bet a month ago if somebody said to you hey do you like having your cock sucked you’d have said no, but now…” he grinned. “You’d probably still say no because you’re so damn prissy and uptight.”
“I’m not,” I mumbled.
“Prove it,” said Scott and I swear in that instant I wondered if either of us had grown up from when I was nine and he was fifteen. He still had the same effect on me and I glared at him and swallowed the pill. I figured it was just one little old pill, it looked a lot like tylenol. And I knew Scott didn’t go giving away his really good drugs.
Scott smiled, “Okay, that’s better, now you can relax and have some fun.” He nodded towards the TV set. “You’re not watching the movie.”
I turned my attention to the TV. In the movie there was a guy and two girls. I wasn’t sure how they’d got together or whether the movie even bothered to explain it but he was fucking one whose face was pushed up towards the other girls pussy and from her expression she was eating her out. I shifted uncomfortably as the scene started to get me excited, then I glanced at Scott. He wasn’t watching the TV he was watching me.
“Will you quit that,” I said irritably.
“Quit what?” said Scott with a smile.
I tried to ignore him but the problem was the more turned on I was getting by the movie the more it was making me excited knowing Scott was staring right at me, watching me get a hard on. He shifted a little closer to me on the sofa. I stayed right where I was but I didn’t move towards him.
“Like the movie?” he said.
“Not much plot,” I said shifting in my seat a little. The girls had swopped places now.
“You like the idea of doing it with two girls?” Scott asked. I shrugged. “Better than doing it with Maurice.”
I shot Scott a look. “I wasn’t exactly wild about the idea of doing it with old Maurice.”
Scott grinned and I smiled back in spite of the fact I was supposed to be mad at him. I couldn’t help it with Scott. “I thought you might like Maurice. Him being older and everything. You have a thing for Dad…”
“I do not,” I snapped and Scott held his hands up in apology. “You are so…” I broke off I couldn’t think of a word to describe him.
“I’m not exactly wild about old Maurice either,” said Scott. Then he slipped his hand onto my leg. “I hated seeing you with him.” I looked at him in surprise. “I didn’t think it would bother me. I thought it might even turn me on but it made me crazy seeing him go down on you.”
“Crazy how,” I asked but my voice was getting husky as Scott moved his hand up my leg.
“Jealous I guess,” said Scott. His hand had found the bulge in my jeans. “I want to keep you to myself. My secret.” He unbuttoned my jeans and I closed my eyes. I’d forgotten the movie on TV, I’d forgotten everything. He was right whatever that pill was, it had relaxed me and I was feeling as horny as hell now. I moved so he could get his hand around my cock and pulled my teeshirt off. He moved his hand up and down my cock, I breathed hard wanting it to go on forever. He knew just how to touch me. I knew I’d forgive Scott anything for a couple of hours of this.
“I hated everything Maurice did,” I whispered. “It’s different with you.”
“You want me,” Scott whispered he kissed my lips lightly and moved me around gently and started kissing me from my neck to my chest.
“Uh huh,” I said. Although I couldn’t bring myself to say it yet. He was helping me out of my jeans and for a second it occurred to me how I couldn’t help myself around Scott. He was just so damn good, I craved him like he craved his drugs. He pulled off his own teeshirt and I watched him through half closed eyes. He had such a nice body, he hardly ever worked out, too lazy, but he had broad shoulders but a really slim waist and he was so muscular, even though this time he was being so slow and gentle with me. He moved down to my groin, he kissed both my hips and I groaned with wanting him. He licked the tip of my cock and I shivered, he licked the length of my shaft, and around my balls, I shifted around to accommodate him. He knew I would do anything he wanted. He closed his mouth over my cock and I moaned loudly. Then slowly he moved his mouth up and down, so slowly it was almost agonising. “Oh God,” I moaned. I thrust my hips towards his mouth, but still he moved so slow, his hands playing with my balls, flicking my nipples. My body seemed so alive whereever he touched it, I seemed to tingle with excitement.
He moved my legs apart and licked me, his tongue flicking my anus. I moaned low and animal like, he licked around the rim of my anus, his tongue probing me. I writhed as he gave me such pleasure, the kind of sensation I couldn’t even start to imagine. Then his mouth found my cock again. He played with it, with his tongue and teeth and everything was slow, so agonisingly pleasurably slow. I have no idea how long he went on, rousing me to frenzied pleasure, stopping then starting again until I was just moaning conscious of nothing else but the heat and the desire and the need to reach that peak.
He found my lips and I clutched at him, my tongue exploring his mouth.
“You are so hot,” he whispered. “God, you get so excited.”
“Do it to me, Scott,” I whispered back. He worked a finger into my arsehole and I moaned and pressed against him. The first time I had been so scared when he fucked me, I’d loved getting head, but he’d whipped up some kind of desire in me that I wanted him to do everything to me. Anything he wanted.
“Come into my bed,” he whispered urgently, he tugged at my arm and half pushed me through to the bedroom. I fell onto the bed and I watched while he stood at the foot of it. He was still half dressed and I sucked in my breath as he went to unzip his jeans. I wanted his cock so badly. I was panting with excitement. Scott smiled at me.
“You want it,” he said teasing me.
“Yes,” I gasped. “Please.”
“You want me to fuck you?” he said. “Say it.”
“Please,” I moaned. “Fuck me, Scott, please do it to me. I want to cum. Make me cum.”
He was watching me with a funny expression. “When Dad kicked me out of home, you know he said I couldn’t stay there with you living there. Like I’d corrupt you or something. And look at you. You’re begging me for it. You let some complete stranger suck your cock till you came.” I opened my eyes. I was confused. He sounded like he was angry at me. “You’re a bigger slut than I ever was. You’re begging me to fuck you.”
I sat up, uncertain of what this was supposed to prove. He sounded so angry.
“You want to go?” he said. He’d unzipped his jeans but not taken them off.
“What have I done?” I said my voice shook. “You sound like you hate me or something.”
He looked away from me.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “Do you want me to go or something?” I wasn’t sure if this was some kind of game for him. It hurt. It really hurt the way his mood changed without warning. I knew that was just how he was but he’d never been mean to me before. I looked away from him. I was embarrassed suddenly. He was right I was like some slut, begging my own brother to fuck me. I went to stand up and he caught me in his arms and made me sit down again.
“Shut up,” he whispered. He kissed me and I started to relax a little, he kicked off his jeans and we moved under the covers.
He guided my head down to his groin and I took his cock in my mouth. He lay still as I moved my mouth over him. He was breathing hard but not moaning, occasionally he would reach down and stroke my head. He was rock hard and so big. At that moment I loved his cock, I wanted it with everything I had in me. Gently he pulled me up and kissed me again. I didn’t remember we kissed that much the last time or that he was so gentle with me. He stroked my hair back off my face.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For today. What I made you do.” He kissed my forehead. “Raoul said I was a total shit and he was right.”
“Don’t talk about him,” I said. I pressed my hard cock against him and he stroked it with his hand. I closed my eyes, I heard him lean over and get something out of the drawer. I shivered. Condoms? KY jelly? I felt something cold on my cock and he was rubbing something around my arsehole and slipping his slippery fingers inside my rectum. Dizzy with desire, I went to turn over but he held me where I was and whispered to me to move my legs apart, he leaned over me and pressed his cock against me, I gasped at feeling the pressure, he moved me slightly to the position he wanted. I breathed nervously, he guided his cock towards my anus, I closed my eyes and then winced as I felt him try to enter me, he pulled my legs up over his shoulder, I gasped nervously, he withdrew and whispered to me to relax. I took a deep breath, he pushed his cock towards me again, I tried to relax as he probed me, I felt it slip in a few inches and it hurt almost as much as it did the first time.
“I’ll take it slow,” I heard him whisper. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
He lay still a few seconds then pushed against me again. I gasped at the pressure and he stopped. “You’re so tight, “he whispered to me. “God you feel great.” He pushed again and I tried to push towards hiim, he slipped in further and he moaned a little. It excited me to hear that, I pushed against him and he shoved himself inside me further. I winced. “God you feel so nice,” he whispered. “I want to be inside you. Right inside you.” I groaned and he pushed hard against me, I felt him slide in and I tried not to yelp or cry out, I gritted my teeth. “It won’t hurt for long,” he whispered, “I’m almost all the way in.” He pushed again and this time I did cry out because he pushed hard until his cock was all the way in. He looked down at me panting and stayed still letting me get used to feeling him in me. Then he began to move it in and out. I closed my eyes listening to the hiss of his breath and the slapping sound our bodies made, he was fucking me slowly, pulling almost all the way out then slowly pushing back in. Every once in a while he’d sigh or groan or whisper to me that I felt so good. I tried to match his rhythm and I could tell he liked it, he quickened the pace a little, I was so hot, I could see he was glistening with sweat to as he grunted and worked above me.
“Fuck me,” he groaned. “Oh God, fuck me, kid.” He was thrusting into me faster and faster and harder and harder. The pain was gone, forgotten, it was like fire, I wanted him hitting against me, I moved with him, moaning his name and telling him to fuck me hard, I could feel the pressure of his body against my cock, I came and I could feel my cum oiling us. I cried out when I came and I felt him bite my neck, then he started to groan louder and louder and he was hitting at me so hard with his cock and calling out my name, I tensed up, feeling he was about to cum, his cock was so hard inside me. “OH GOD, “he yelled and gripped my shoulders tight forcing himself in as far as he could, I could see him straining. “GOD, FUCK, You’re making me cum,” He moaned. “Jesus, “ he lunged at me and I felt him cum as he cried out and fell against me, hot, sweaty.
He lay there nearly a minute, like a dead weight. I was panting and stroking his smooth, sweaty back. Then I felt him kiss my neck briefly and roll over off me.
“Wow,” he said. I curled up next to him, suddenly nervous about touching him, I wanted to put my arm across him and hug him but I wasn’t sure if he was going to turn on me again. “That was so good” He lolled his head to look at me and smiled this tired smile and squeezed my shoulder. “God I wanted to do that so bad, when Maurice had you sucking his cock, I just wanted to grab you and fuck you then, tell Maurice to get out you were mine…” his voice trailed off. “Jesus, that was nice.”
I put my arm across him tentatively and he surprised me by snuggling closer to me.
“You’ve worn me out,” he said drowsily. “God all that coke and you’ve still exhausted me.” He grinned, but his eyelids were fluttering. I kissed his shoulder quickly. He closed his eyes and I watched him fall asleep feeling warm and exhausted.
I woke with a start a few hours later. He was sitting on the edge of the bed. His face was in his hands.
“What is it?” I whispered.
He shook his head.
I sat up and touched his shoulder. He shook my hand off. “Scott?”
“I should get you home. Its late. I don’t want Dad asking questions about where you’ve been,” he said flatly.
“Can I stay?” I asked.
He looked at me and I saw his eyes were shiny like he’d been crying or was about to.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Did you want this to happen?” he asked. I looked at him unsure of what he meant. “Look I got you over here. I made you go through that thing with Maurice. Then this…” he trailed off. “God is this what you want? Have I just confused you so completely you don’t know what the hell you’re doing?”
“No,” I said weakly. “I know what I’m doing.”
“Do you think I wanted you?” he asked looking straight at me. “I mean do you think I set out to seduce you because I’d been wanting you all this time?”
“I don’t know,” I said but I was feeling he was leading up to something and I was dreading hearing it.
He laughed. “I don’t want to hurt you. I mean..” He stopped. “I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to hurt Dad. He thinks you’re this innocent. This perfect kid… shit,” he broke off.
“You want me to go?” I said, my voice was shaking. “You didn’t want me to…” I blinked I was confused. I didn’t’ know what he wanted from me.
“No, yes. I mean. Don’t look like that okay,” he reached out and pushed my hair back. I wanted to pull away from him but I didn’t. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I started to get up. “I’ll go,” I said. I felt like crying. I was starting to understand some of this. It was just sex to Scott. Everything was just sex. Which was fine. I think that’s all it was to me. It was just that afterwards he wanted me out of his sight. He felt nothing.
“Don’t go,” he said. He wouldn’t look at me. “Stay tonight. Okay. I don’t know if we’ll do this again. So stay. This time.” He sighed. “You let Maurice do all that stuff to you for me, I know that. And it wasn’t because of you know, you wanted me to give you a blow job afterwards or.. I know you did it for me.”
“You’re my brother,” I said. Scott shrugged. “I want to go home.”
“I’ll drive,” said Scott. “Its too late for you to walk home.”
“I don’t want you to drive me,” I said, I was starting to pull on my clothes, quickly as I could. I wanted to get out of there. I wanted to get home and pretend like none of this had happened. “I don’t want you doing anything for me. You hear?” I raised my voice and Scott jumped.
I pulled on my teeshirt and hurried out. I paused by the door, but he didn’t come after me.