A gay story: Austin Pt. 10 Playing The Last Card…
“I need to find a new hydroponics plant manager ASAP,” I said on our way back to the farm. I had to protect myself.
“It’s Sunday night. I doubt we can find anyone tonight.”
“Yes, yes…you’re right.” I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed the one person I’d never thought I’d ever turn to, but the person I knew would help me.
“Sorry to disturb you, but I need your help.” I didn’t say please or thank you. Niceties had left me. Owen took his hand off the steering wheel long enough to squeeze my knee before returning it to concentrate on the road. I had never asked Joshua for anything. He knew by my tone alone that whatever I needed was serious.
“Whatever you need, neighbor.”
“Something has happened. I can’t go into it right now. I need a few of your men. They must be at the Hydroponic plant before six tomorrow morning and be prepared to stay until the matter is settled.”
“I’ll have four of them there within the hour. If this is as serious as you make it sound, I want you protected at all costs. They will stay all night and be there as long as you need them.”
In abbreviated bursts, I told him I was firing Steve, and I couldn’t take a chance he’d try to sabotage the farm. I explained the only entry access was at the front of the building. The loading dock and two emergency doors were exit-only doors. I gave him the code to get into the building. I also told him his men couldn’t go into the plant itself. It was a sterile environment, and protocols had to be followed.
“JJ worked there during his 4H days a few years back. He’ll lead the men. He knows the ropes over there. I also have a cousin in Moscow (Idaho) who’s worked extensively with Hydroponics. I’ll call him now, and weather permitting, he can be here sometime tomorrow. He can help out until you can find a replacement. You don’t have to worry about anything, neighbor. We take care of our own.” I wanted to thank him, but my brain wasn’t working.
Joshua had his pulse on everything in our community. He had to have known about Cyndi’s wicked ways. He wouldn’t have acted so quickly if he didn’t know what was happening.
The worst thing possible was beginning to happen. I was getting emotional, and it was taking every ounce of strength to hold back another inundation of tears.
“One more thing. Can one of your guys pack everything from Steve’s office and bring it to my place? I don’t want him to get his hands on anything.”
“You have nothing to worry about. He won’t even make it to the front door.”
I walked around the house looking around. Everything suddenly looked so foreign. The house I thought was built on love was truly built on deceit.
“What would you like to do?” Owen asked. He had started a fire, and we were lying on the makeshift bed Owen had made two days ago.
“Besides bashing my head in a wall, beating the living crap out of Cyndi, and digging a hole so deep I’ll never have to come out again?” Tears filled my eyes. “Perhaps if I talk some things through,” I answered.
Talking was the last thing I wanted to do, but I needed to vent.
“Talking is okay. There’ll be no bashing, beating, or digging.”
“I couldn’t have handled any of this without you, and for that, I thank you,” I said numbly.
I started giving him a thank-you kiss, but when our lips touched, we got carried away in a deep, soul-searching kiss. I wanted to freeze time and hide away in the kiss. Tears came to my eyes again, and I knew no matter how together I thought I was on the outside, I was a total disaster.
“I was going to suggest a way to work out your aggressions, but I think that would be insensitive of me now.” Owen’s hand was on my chest, letting his strength flow into me.
“More than anything, I would love to do that—to get lost in you—but I’m afraid Junior isn’t going to budge an inch.” I sighed deeply. “I just can’t believe that for all these years. Why didn’t I see it?”
“Possibly because the axiom, ‘love is blind’ rings true.”
“Yeah, well, in my case, deaf and dumb also.”
Owen sat up and crossed his legs Indian style.
“I think Cyndi hid the affairs for as long as she could, but when it came to your front door with Devon and Thomas, the only way she could continue to protect you was to keep you away from them.”
He paused for a long moment. “The people around you that knew. I understand they kept it from you out of love. But it was wrong of them. Sid even admitted it was wrong. If someone had said something years ago…”
I looked at him with tears in my eyes. “The weird part of this whole thing is that everything that has happened led us to this exact moment. If things had been different, I might have never met you. We wouldn’t be here, would we?”
Owen pulled me in his arms and held me close to him. “I just hate that you are hurting so badly.” He whispered.
I took a deep breath in a final attempt to end this thing once and for all. “I don’t want to piecemeal this thing. I need to finish it now and move on. You know I have to do it.” I kissed him tenderly and stood up, looking towards the bedroom.
“Are you sure you want to do that, Austin? I think you’ll know what you’ll find.”
“I do…and I do,” I answered.
“Okay, then let’s do it.” He took my hand, and we walked into the bedroom.
Cyndi always kept her desk neat and free of clutter. I pulled the top drawer out and poured it on the floor. When I found nothing, I moved to the drawers on the right side of the desk. There was nothing in the first drawer. My optimism was rising. I opened the bottom drawer where she kept the current files. There were green hanging folders with papers neatly placed in them. The folders were labeled Barn, Hydroponics, Bank, Household, Construction, and Taxes. The last folder in the back of the drawer was unmarked.
I pulled the folder out and opened it. Inside was a thick padded envelope. I poured the contents out on the desk. There, staring back at me, were three packets of birth control pills, Cyndi’s copy of the bill, a discharge notice, and a preprinted single-sided sheet of paper with directions of the Do’s and Don’ts and what to look for after the procedure.
The material was dated four months ago.
I handed the documents to Owen, who looked them over. His eyes told me everything. I went back in my mind. Were there any signs that she had done this? Did I even remember she had missed a period? She was always horniest on the days leading up to her period. I couldn’t remember. I thought our lives were out in the open, but with each breath I took, I realized Cyndi’s was so full of lies that they appeared as truths. My heart clenched tightly in my chest, and I struggled to take my next breath. How could she have done something like that? The worst part was that I would never know if the child was mine. Not that it mattered. I would have loved it unconditionally. My stomach flipped, and a moment later, I found myself shaking uncontrollably; how much more could there be?
“About eighteen months ago, we went to a fertility specialist,” I spoke monotonally. Emotions had left me. “We both tested fine. The doctor gave us several things to try, and if they didn’t work, he recommended that Cyndi have a small surgical procedure, what they call a D&C. Four months ago, out of the blue, Cyndi told me she’d scheduled it. Another lie.” I would forever mourn what she took away from me.