A gay story: The Snow Man Ch. 02
The main street of Brush Creek was now deserted, with the snow blowing straight down, occasionally shifting to a horizontal direction when a strong gust of wind came along. Alex and Rob found the Melody Inn behind the McDonald’s and managed to get the Blazer into the unplowed parking lot with some difficulty. It was an old-fashioned motel where you park right outside your door, and even though it was still afternoon, most of the rooms appeared to be occupied. At one end of the building was a small office, where a skinny, balding clerk sat by a portable electric heater with a hand-rolled cigarette in his mouth.
“Well, this is yer lucky day, fellers! I got one room left for ya!”
“We need two, actually,” Alex said, gesturing at Rob.
The clerk spit a bit of tobacco on the floor and shook his head. “I just have the one,” he said. “Rest are taken. It’s a decent room, nice and cozy for a couple of cowboys like you.” He snickered as if he had said something funny.
“Why don’t you take it, Alex,” Rob said. “You’ve played good Samaritan enough for one day. I’ll find someplace else to stay.”
“You’re crazy. There isn’t any place else to stay in this God-forsaken town.” The clerk confirmed this with an expressionless shrug. “We can split the cost if it makes you feel better.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind sharing a room with me?” Rob asked hesitantly.
“I think it’ll work out,” Alex replied.
Alex paid for one night with his credit card and retrieved his suitcase from the Blazer. When they entered their room, they discovered that the clerk had failed to mention one small detail, although it probably wouldn’t have changed their decision: the room had only one bed. And it was a standard-size double bed, which would be cramped enough for a married couple, let alone two men. Rob and Alex looked at the bed and laughed.
“What do we do now?” asked Alex.
“I guess I could sleep on the floor,” said Rob reluctantly.
“Watch out for rattlesnakes,” said Alex.
Rob looked up in alarm. “Are you serious? Are there snakes here?”
Alex punched Rob on the arm and laughed. “I’ve got some soap and mouthwash if you need it,” he said, rummaging through his suitcase. “Toothpaste. Shampoo. Snake repellant.”
“You must have been a boy scout,” said Rob.
“Yeah. I’ve got an extra pair of underwear, too, if you need it. May be too big for you.”
Rob laughed.
Once again Alex noticed that Rob was watching him as if he were waiting for something. It made Alex a little uncomfortable. “Listen, Rob, let me get something out of the way. I don’t have any problem with your being gay or whatever.. . . in case you were wondering.”
“I didn’t think so,” said Rob. “You seemed pretty cool about it.”
“I know some guys would have a hard time handling it, but it doesn’t bother me.” As Alex said this he walked to the window and looked at the snow mounding up on the cars in the parking lot. “Actually, when I was younger I was a little curious about gay stuff,” he added.
“What do you mean?” asked Rob.
Alex kept looking outside. “Jeez, it’s kind of embarrassing,” he said. “I don’t know why I brought it up. I never told anybody this before. Anyway, I was just curious — you know? When I was in high school I had a friend who was gay. We talked about it sometimes. I used to wonder what it would be like, to be like him.” His voice trail off and he cleared his throat. “Listen, I’m just rambling. I didn’t mean to start talking about that crap. Just forget I said anything about it.”
Rob sat on the edge of the bed and watched Alex thoughtfully. “I don’t want to piss you off or anything. I mean, we hardly know each other. But can I ask you a personal question?”
“I suppose.”
“Did you ever do anything with your friend?”
“Do what?” Alex was flustered.
“Hook up. Fool around.”
“No!”
“Did you ever want to?”
“Huh?” Alex’s breath caught in his chest. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation! He didn’t like talking about such personal things, but there was something about Rob that made him want to open up. It was weird. And anyway, they’d probably never see each other again after this blizzard, so why should he lie? “Look,” he said abruptly, “I’d be a liar if I said I never thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. But I liked girls, and I ended up getting married.”
Rob nodded. “I had a feeling about you when you picked me up this afternoon.”
Alex now turned from the window. “You had a feeling about me? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I dunno. I guess it was the way you looked at me or something. I thought you might be interested.”
Alex shook his head. “Sorry, dude, I can’t go there.”
Rob rubbed his chin. “Look. I believe in laying all the cards out on the table, okay? I know we don’t know each other very well, but I was never good at hiding things so I’m just going to put it out there. No offense, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I think you’re hotter than hell. I’d hook up with you anytime.”
Alex’s felt a knot in his stomach as if somebody had punched him. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or angry, but either way he figured the conversation was going in the wrong direction. “I’m married,” he repeated. “I don’t cheat on my wife.”
“To tell the truth, I think married guys are the hottest. And I have a boyfriend back home, too. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do,” said Rob.
“Oh Jeezus!” Alex was too embarrassed to meet Rob’s eyes now and he was running out of things to say.
Rob got up from the bed and Alex knew he was standing nearby, but he kept staring out the window. Snow was covering all the familiar objects outside and the whole landscape looked different. Everything was grey and blurry Even the light was different. It was strange how a snow storm changed everything.
“They say no two snowflakes are exactly alike,” said Rob.
Abruptly Alex turned to his younger companion. “I thought it would go away, you know. But it didn’t. Even after seven years of marriage. I probably never should have gotten married in the first place. I never had the guts to do anything about it.”
Rob put his hand out and gently touched Alex’s forearm. “You have great arms, you know that? You must work out a lot.” Then he added: “There’s nothing to be scared of. It’s just who you are.”
Rob kicked off one of his running shoes, and then the other, and stood beside Alex in his stocking feet.
“What are you going to do?” asked Alex.
Rob shrugged and pulled his navy blue sweater over his head, shivering as he pulled his arms from the sleeves. “Jeez, it’s cold in here! I guess we were lucky to find this place but it sorta reminds me of that Alfred Hitchcock movie.”
“Psycho?” asked Alex.
“Yeah. The motel where the crazy guy stabs the chick in the shower and blood goes everywhere.”
Alex shivered and drew the drapes closed.
“I doubt anyone’s watching,” said Rob. “Who cares anyway? Nobody knows us here.” He unfastened his leather belt and let the ends hang down from the loops of his jeans. Alex was staring now and Rob knew it. He reached slowly for his zipper. It made a little ratchety noise as the fly opened. Then he pushed his jeans down over his hips and kicked them down to the floor so that he was standing in his white cotton briefs. “Brrr. We gotta turn the heat up in here!”