“That’ll be great, thanks,” Liam smiled taking a seat.
“Be right back,” Connor said and disappeared. Still clearly confused.
“Guess he wasn’t expecting you then,” Luc joked.
“Been a while,” Liam agreed. “How long have you been together?”
“Not long really,” Luc said. “I’ve only been working here a few months.”
“Oh, sure. I get it,” Liam sneered, managing to make Luc feel cheap.
Uncomfortable, Luc gestured towards the bar. “Er. I’d better get to work. Nice meeting you.”
Liam just smiled coolly as he left.
Connor was being harangued by Aydin by the coffee machine when Luc wandered over.
“Well, what does he want?”
“I don’t know, Aydin.”
“You’ll ask him?”
“No, I’m going to go back there and just glare at him!”
“Me or Luc should come with you.”
“Jesus,” Connor rolled his eyes. “He’s my brother, not some evil warlord.”
“Who you haven’t seen since you were twelve.”
“Maybe something’s happened to your Mom?” Luc suggested, placing a hand on Connor’s arm, his eyes concerned.
Connor sighed and turned. “I’ll go and find out. Aydin, I will explain to Luc later, okay.”
Aydin opened his mouth but then his shoulders slumped. “Fine.”
They watched Connor leave. “Explain what?” Luc demanded.
Aydin looked at him, his eyes unusually sombre. “Con’s right. It’s not my story to tell.”
“It is bad?” Aydin just nodded.
“It can’t be worse than that Nigel, Peter, guy?” At Aydin’s look, Luc just added. “Oh!”
The evening crawled.
Despite being busy, Luc was desperate to close and find out what was going on.
Aydin wasn’t too happy when Connor confirmed that Liam would be using the spare room for a few days. But Luc had managed to get out of him that Liam was only five years older, so seventeen when Connor had left.
“He can’t have done anything that bad at seventeen?” Luc had suggested quietly.
Aydin sighed, his eyes on Liam, sat at the bar, drinking and chatting to random people. “He didn’t do ANYTHING,” he said cryptically.
Finally Connor had done his final check and lock up. Liam was asleep in the spare room, and Luc was ready to be whatever Connor needed. Supportive, understanding, angry.
He had never asked why Connor had grown up with his aunt. It was a something to ask one day in the future. He guessed the future was now.
Connor passed Luc a beer and joined him on the bed.
“Don’t really know where to start,” he admitted.
Luc just touched his hand briefly, then waited.
“I grew up in Washington Heights, you know that. Just across from where my aunt still lives. We were a pretty normal family, but not super close. Liam was five years older, so we didn’t have a play-mate type bond, you know?”
Luc nodded.
“I guess it started when my dad died. I told you he was only thirty-seven. It hit my mom hard. I had literally told my parents the week before that I thought I was gay. Then the accident. She just retreated into herself. Liam was embarrassed, thought I was weird or attention seeking. We kinda fractured, emotionally.”
He sipped his beer, eyes darkening. “Then, less than a year later, she met Hank. Some church thing. Suddenly we were moving away and his word was law. It all happened so fast. I was four hundred miles away from everything I knew. My brother and Hank got on so well, immediately. But me? I was the confused kid going through a phase.”
Luc reached out and just placed his hand on Connor’s knee.
“I was meant to be coming back to New York for a few weeks the first summer, to stay with Aunt Pat. I was so excited. So unhappy where I was, and no friends. The only person I could talk to was a teacher at school. He had noticed I was always alone. I think he guessed I was gay. Maybe he suspected about Hank.” Connor shrugged, “Don’t know, but he made me memorise his numbers and that one thing probably saved my life.”
Luc frowned but didn’t interrupt.
“So, suddenly I’m going to camp instead of back to New York. Hank’s all excited for me, and Mom’s begging me to make an effort. Try and fit in, Hank only wants what’s best for me. To be a family. So I went to camp. It was for Catholic kids like me. A place to learn new skills and make friends. Suitable friends.”
Connor’s voice shook a little, and he reached down to grip Luc’s hand when his knee was squeezed. Giving him a grateful smile.
“What was it really?” Luc asked. Even though he didn’t think he really wanted to know.
“Conversion therapy. Only a few kids there, and we didn’t spend any time together. I was put with a team of mentors, all adult men, who would help me pray the gay away. When that didn’t work, Hank turned up. I still remember the sound his belt made when he pulled it free, and they decided to beat it out of me.”
Luc stifled a sob, but placed his beer aside (he felt nauseous) and moved to cuddle Connor.
Connor shuddered and held on tight.
“I got away on the third night. Just ran until I found somewhere to hide and a payphone. Called Mr Harrold collect. I was so scared that he would betray me. I was in a different state as well. Forced open the mail box on a house to get the address and told him where I would be hiding. There was a shed. Like a workshop, but it was all run down. I don’t know how, but somehow I tucked myself in there and fell asleep. I guess it was because I hadn’t slept in the past two nights.”
“Because you were scared?”
Connor shook his head. “No, they didn’t let me sleep. It was part of it.”
“Jesus. And you were twelve?” Luc was crying quietly.
“Yea. Still small and skinny like you. Mr Harrold couldn’t find me. I hid so well.”
He smiled at Luc’s puzzled frown. “Thankfully, he brought his brother in law with him. He was cop. K-9 unit. It was Bessie who found me. I remember being woken by a cold muzzle and barking. I was terrified at first, but she snuggled right into me, and then there was this cop explaining who he was and that I was safe.” His voice caught and he cleared his throat, grateful for Luc’s warmth.
“Thank God, Mr Harrold had the sense to bring his brother in law. They drove me through the night back to New York. Straight to my aunt. Once a doctor cleared me. They called her and she took me, just like that.”
“And you were allowed to stay?”
“I was old enough to make my feelings clear. Hank was being prosecuted for taking me out of state against my will and they went for everyone involved in the camp. Mom blamed me. She wouldn’t have taken me back anyway.”
“What about Liam?”
“He was happy where he was. He was seventeen. Had a girlfriend, a car, got to go hunting with Hank. He slithered out of jail in the end. Why would Liam leave? I never saw him after the day I left for that camp.”
Luc’s eyes were unhappy. “I think Aydin’s right. He should have helped you. Or at least supported you once he found out what was going on.”
“He was a kid. Like I said, we were never close.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Connor wiped his eyes and squeezed. “Aunt Pat got me through. Got me all therapied-to-shit!” He paused when Luc sniggered. “I’m good, Luc. It was a long time ago.”
“That’s why the pub means so much to you. Because it’s a safe space?”
Connor nodded.
“Do you know what Liam wants?”