A gay story: My First Year with Austin Ch. 12 This story is a sequel to My First Year in College and My First Year in Prison.
Tyler is finally ready to commit to a serious relationship when he moves in with his former College crush, Austin. After years of entertaining the idea, it is time for those two to figure it out: is their relationship meant to last?
This story is entirely fictional and all characters featured are above 18.
*
MY FIRST YEAR WITH AUSTIN
Chapter 12: The 21 days fight
Day 1
“He’s coming!” Janice pressed me.
“What?”
“Austin! He’s coming out of the lobby, he’s walking towards us. What should we do?”
I was freaking out.
“Nothing. We do nothing, Jan. I need to think.”
Since how long had he been going to his wife? Had he even broken up with her at any point? In Cassie’s mind, were they still happily married!?
Fuck! Austin could not have betrayed me that bad. Right?
Maybe he had been fooling me since the very beginning… Maybe everything had been a lie.
“What are you doing here, guys?” Austin had reached us. “It’s gonna rain.”
“We were just getting some fresh air… The hungover…” Janice replied.
“You’re good, Ty?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I’m not equipped to handle heavy drinking anymore… That’s what happens when you reach thirty, I guess.”
We were not really good actors; it was clear that something was wrong but Austin did not challenge me. He was certainly too busy hiding his own secrets.
“Have you checked for your car? You’re going to be late to your brother’s place.”
How dared he?! He fucking wanted me gone, asap!
I felt a few raindrops fall on my face.
I kept myself collected.
“I did get the car. I’m gonna leave in a minute. Are you all set? Party with the guys and then straight to L.A. afterwards?”
“Yeap.”
I could not say if I wanted to cry or punch him in the face, Austin was lying through his teeth. Janice on my side looked like she was about to puke.
The rain intensified.
“Come on, let’s go back inside.” Austin suggested.
“No… I… I’ll just go straight to the parking lot… We… We’ll see each other in a couple of days then.”
“Are you good, Ty? You’re worrying me.”
Austin leaned over to kiss me.
I let him, thinking it would be our last kiss.
“Are you?” I asked him back. “Good?”
“Listen, guys, I’ll just go to the parking lot, I… Bye Austin!” Janice mumbled.
She smartly ran away from the situation. Austin definitely knew that something was up at this point. Maybe he understood he had been caught.
He changed his attitude once Janice was out of the view, acting gentler. He held my hand.
“Look, Ty, when we’ll be home, we’ll talk. Okay?”
“Talk about what?”
It was pouring rain on the both of us now.
“Should we go inside?” He insisted.
“No, Austin, I don’t want to go inside. Just say your piece. Is there something you’re not telling me?”
We were soaking wet.
“I… It’s complicated, babe.”
He was calling me babe… Seriously? His guilty face, his blabbering, those were all the proofs I needed to be certain that he was lying to me. But I was down putting my head in the sand.
“Complicated? How?” I urged him.
“It has nothing to do with you, or with us, I promise. Ty, we’re getting soaked, what is going on with you?”
I had given him a chance to come clean.
He did not take it.
His bad.
“Enjoy your time with the guys, then.”
“Ty?”
I kissed him on the cheek and ran towards the parking lot. He did not attempt to run after me.
I left my boyfriend there, being drenched by the rain.
Was he still my boyfriend though?
*
Night 1
We agreed on a course of action with Janice. She was, yet again, showing me how good of a friend she could be, the best of friends actually. She missed her flight to stay with me.
We hid in the rental car near the hotel while I was breaking down. For hours…
“How could he do that to me? I trusted him!”
“The asshole! The freaking asshole!” Janice was mad too. “It does not make any sense. You should have seen him last year, complaining about Cassie, whining about his married life, talking and worrying about you, all the time! I thought for sure he was serious about this.”
“I was stupid, Jan. When he mentioned that he was still married, I should have dug deeper. I mean, he told me that his wife was okay with the separation, that she knew about us dating and I just believed him! I know nothing about their relationship. Nothing! They’ve spent years together! I’m the freaking intruder here! I’m the shameful mistress! I’m the bad guy!”
“Don’t say that about yourself, Ty.”
“But I am! Oh God, maybe he just told Cassie he needed to go work in L.A. for a year and did not even mention me… All the signs were there, Jan, but I refused to see them. She may still think they are together.”
“How could she? You and Austin have been attached to the hips for months.”
“I don’t know! I don’t know anything anymore.”
She kissed my forehead.
“You’re sure you wanna go there?”
“Yes. I’ve already told Ryan I would not come to see the kids. I need to catch Austin in the act. I need to see it with my own eyes.”
Thankfully, Janice was the one driving, I would not have been able to.
I was crying the whole ride. Pathetic.
The feeling of betrayal was certainly equal to the feelings of love and trust I had for Austin before that, which is to say, immense.
We stopped several times on the way there to talk. And then to eat. There came a point where Jan was starving. I could barely eat though. Janice was telling me that I did not need Austin in my life. I was not sure it was helping.
After much back and forth, we arrived at Cassie’s place around 11pm.
She was living in a very small house in the suburbs. Austin and her had bought back the house from a friend of Cassie’s parents back when they had gotten married.
“We can always go back, Ty.” Janice said.
A part of me was still hoping that Janice had gotten her info wrong. She had not.
“The car is here. He’s here.”
I did not say another word to Janice and I got out of the car, shaking. Austin had texted me during the afternoon.
“I did not like the way we said goodbye earlier. Please, call me back.” He had written.
By his fifth text, he was more explicit: “We need to talk, Ty.”
We were about to.
I knocked at the front door.
My heart was racing like crazy in my chest. I thought that maybe I would faint right there.
Noone came. I fought a strong impulse to run back to the car and I knocked again.
I wanted to cry again. But I could not. It was not the time.
I finally heard some movements inside.
I was literally shaking when the door opened.
Fuck.
He was there. It was all real. Austin had answered the door… As if he was still living there, as if it was his own place!
There was a moment of shared dismay.
Austin opened his mouth, his face had turned white, but no word came out. He was not expecting me.
There was no longer any doubt. He was cheating on me. Or rather, he had been cheating on his wife with me!
The reaction came naturally and I could not help it.
I slapped him. Right across his face.
Ouch.
Still, Austin did not say a word. He simply took a few steps back.
“What are you doing here? How could you do something like that? To me? To us?” I yelled.
“Tyler…”
“Where is she?! Does she know about me?” I barged into the living-room.
“Cassandra? Remember me? We met at your wedding. I’m fucking your husband!” I shouted like a maniac.
Talk about trying to stay collected and having a meaningful confrontation…
Seeing him actually there, with his shocked face and nothing to say to me, I just lost it.
“Please, Ty, calm down. It’s not what you think.”
“WHERE IS SHE?”
He tried to grab me.
“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME, AUSTIN! You have no right to touch me. Where is she?! Eh?! Cassandra?!”
“In the bathroom… But please… Listen to me.”
“Listen to you? Ok, then. Please! Do talk! Tell me how this is not what I think. Tell me how you’ve not been seeing your wife behind my back this whole time! Tell me about your sick mother! Tell me about all the times you’ve been lying to me for the past month!”
Austin looked down at his shoes.
“My mother is not sick.” He confessed.
Although I was not surprised, the acknowledgement still pierced my heart.
“Oh my God. How could I have been so dumb? Thinking that my college crush had suddenly magically fallen in love with me! What the fuck did you want, Austin? Play games?! Test some new sexual kinks? I just don’t get it. Visiting me in prison, making me a love declaration, sleeping with me, living with me… For what? To go back with your wife?!”
“This has nothing to do with that! I’ve only been honest about my feelings for you. You know that. You know me.”
“I clearly don’t! I have no idea of who you are!”
“What’s going on?!” I heard a female voice behind us.
I turned around.
Cassandra was there. As beautiful as the day I saw her getting married to Austin.
One thing was different though. She was wearing a night gown and… she was showing a round pregnant belly. There was no mistake there. She was pregnant and she had been for a while.
I had to hold on to a chair not to fall on the floor.
Austin grabbed me.
“I’ve only been genuine with you, Ty. I swear. Cassie knows about you… And I… I told her how important you are to me… But she… yeah… She’s pregnant. Seven months pregnant. I wanted to tell you about it. I did not want you to find out this way.”
“Good evening, Tyler.” Cassie muttered, clearly feeling very uncomfortable.
Well, this, I had not seen coming.
*
Day 2 — Day 4
I was back in our apartment in Los Angeles. Alone.
Austin wanted to come back with me but I told him to sort things out on his side. Besides, I needed some time on my own to process.
Frankly, once I had learned the big news, there was not much more to say. My boyfriend was going to become a dad, his wife was expecting HIS baby. I could not see myself fitting in the picture frame anymore.
We did talk when I found out. I vaguely understood that Cassie had called Austin out of the blue to confess that she was pregnant.
She had kept it a secret as she did not want Austin to stay married to her for the wrong reasons. Cassie had postponed the announcement as long as she could, but then, reaching the last trimester of her pregnancy and getting ready to sign the divorce papers, she had finally decided to call him.
About time, right?!
You bet that Austin was distraught after that phone call.
He told me a dumb lie about his mother to have a reason to leave hastily and then he spent more than a week with Cassie to, and I quote him, “figure things out”.
I was not too sure of what they had talked about… or what they had done during that time. When Austin tried to explain himself, I left. I could not stand to hear any of it.
I explained the situation to Janice and she stayed with me for a little while.
I did not want to ruin her spirit though; Her wedding date was approaching and I did not want to impose myself.
Also, I had no wish to talk about it with anyone.
Going back to work was helpful. My colleagues, including Jasper, had no idea of what was happening, which was great because I could think about something else than my tragic love life and rest my mind during my shifts.
Jasper told me all about the Masked-Hunk “amazing” show the previous Thursday (apparently, he was wearing a golden jockstrap this time), and I let a sugar daddy hit on me for most of my shift.
Why not?
The man was about fifty years old but he was still very much sexy. A silver fox, as we say. I did love some grey hair on a fit body.
I did not cheat on Austin though.
Although I was tempted, just to get back at him, I went back home by myself. Stuck with my thoughts.
*
Day 5
Austin came back home four days after I had confronted him at Cassie’s place.
We had another fight. Or maybe it was more of a discussion this time. I guess there was some progress made.
The few days apart had allowed the both of us to think things through. It was a tough pill to swallow.
“Maybe we should sit down?” Austin suggested a few minutes after being back.
I nodded yes.
We went to sit on the couch. I was a nervous wreck. Austin too.
To be honest, I was even doubting he would ever come back. But he was there. Right next to me. He did not try to kiss me when he walked in though.
Was it because he was afraid that I would reject him or did he want to signify to me we were over?
I started with that.
“Are we still together?”
“Of course, we are. Ty, I love you.” He held my hand.
A tear fell down my cheek.
“Really, Austin? You came back to her, for days, and then, you went back, again, and…”
“Cassie and I, we are done. We have been done for months. We have not touched each other since last December. Not once.”
“Why the fuck is she carrying your baby, then?”
“Because I tried to save my marriage, Ty! Because, yes, I will admit it, we tried to mend things up, until the very end! She probably got pregnant a couple weeks before Christmas, when we gave ourselves one last shot. Look Ty, I promise you, I had no idea she was expecting a baby. When she told me about it, I was as stunned as you were, I mean, even more. I… I could not believe; I still cannot believe I’m going to be a dad sometimes.”
“What is wrong with that woman? Hiding this from you?”
Austin caressed my thigh gently.
It was a small detail but he was showing me signs of affections.
He sighed.
“We had many discussions about it… I was very pissed; you have no idea.”
“And now?”
“Now, I have tried to put myself in her shoes. I told her I wanted a divorce, then that I was moving to Los Angeles, and then that I was trying things out with an old friend of mine coming out from prison. A man… She did now know how to bring up the baby in all of this.”
“Poor woman… Right?”
“Yes, Ty! I know it’s unfair to you. But can you imagine how she felt?”
“Thanks for reminding me that I broke your marriage, while your wife was pregnant! Of course, I think about that, about her, about how she must have felt! All the damn time! I feel awful about it. I feel awful about being the third person in your marriage.”
“You’re not though. At all. You’re not the third person. You’re MY person.”
“Austin… You’re going to have a baby with her… She’s still your wife! I will always feel like I’m the side piece.”
“I swear to you, you’re the only one I want to be with. I…” He put his hand on my cheek. “This is why I took so long to talk to you about this. I needed to clear my own head. I needed to talk things through with Cassie. I had time to do so. And I chose you. I choose you. All over again.”
He kissed my shoulders; he held me in his arms. Tightly.
I was crying.
I know, again.
We stopped talking for a while.
I did not want to leave him. Or rather, I could not leave him. I loved Austin way too much.
We cuddled for the entire night.
We stayed together.
*
Day 6 — Day 13
On the days which followed, Austin was on his best behaviour. Tender, caring, romantic. He brought me flowers and chocolate. He put post-its all around the house with hearts and “I love you” on them. He made the bed each morning and watched my favourite tv-show so we could talk about it.
We talked about Cassie, about the baby, but not too much. The topic was still highly sensitive.
Slowly though, we started getting intimate again.
He fucked me a couple of days after his return and it got us closer. Sex was the one thing we had always been very good at.
It was hard to think about anything upsetting while he was banging my ass and whispering in my ears how much I was his “dirty boy.”
I felt a bit silly when I called him “daddy” though.
Janice was not happy about the way we had so quickly gotten back together. She was worried about me.
Janice proposed multiple times that I go live with Richard and her. I always had the same answer to give to her:
“He’s my dream guy, Jan. I cannot let him go.”
Besides, Austin had not cheated on me. That baby was simply the reminder of a constant in my life: I was terrible at timing!
The days went by, I was working a lot, taking more shifts than usual, and Austin was doing everything he could so we would hold tight.
On the surface, we were fine. I mean, Austin was perfect with me, but deep down, my anxiety was growing. I was seeing the calendar as a ticking bomb. Seven weeks before the due date. Six weeks…
What would happen once the baby would be there?
When Austin explained his plans, and therefore our plans, for the future, I was numb.
“Of course, I want to be there for the baby. She deserves to have a dad.”
Incidentally, I had just learned that he was going to have a daughter and not a son. This had never been mentioned before.
“The contract for the stadium was always meant to last a single year so we will back on the East-Coast next March, and then, we can do shared custody like all divorced couples.”
“You’re still married though…” I pointed out.
“Only until the baby is born, Ty. I told you, it’s just easier for the paperwork that we stay officially married until the birth. But the divorce will be official right after.”
“What a nice way to welcome a baby into this world. Divorce papers at the maternity.”
Austin sighed.
“Come on, you know I’m doing everything I can to make this work. What would you prefer? That Cassie and I stay married?”
I looked at the ceiling.
“There are many things I would have preferred, Austin…”
“Don’t be like that.”
“What if you change your mind when you see YOUR baby in YOUR wife’s arms?”
“Change my mind?”
“About living here, with me! How can you be sure that you are not going to want to give this family a shot? I could not even be mad at you. I would get it.”
“Come on, Ty, we’ve been talking about this, I’m all in. With you!”
The fact that he was getting frustrated about my doubts only made me more worried. Could not he see those were legitimate concerns?
We ended the conversation there. If we were to push things any further, we may jeopardize our entire relationship and we were both careful enough to avoid that.
*
Day 14 — Day 20
Despite the efforts we were putting in, the arguments became more and more part of our daily routine.
Cassie was calling often to keep Austin informed about the pregnancy. Which I perfectly understood, the due date was getting dangerously close.
Yet, every mention of the birth to come was a reason for another fight.
We were both trying hard but our frustrations and fears were getting the best of us.
“I’M HERE! AIN’T I?! WITH YOU?! I’m sharing my bed, with you, Ty. I have left my whole life behind, FOR YOU. And when I learned that I was going to be a dad, I still stayed! What more can I do to prove to you that I’m in this for the long run?!”
I had gone to sleep on the couch after another fight and Austin was mad at me.
I was keeping a lot of things in, just to not make things worse, but the atmosphere at the apartment had become tense.
I did not want to talk to Janice about it, — her wedding was set to happen a week later at that point and I could not handle her telling me that I should break-up with Austin –, so I started confiding myself in Jasper.
Even my co-worker could tell that there was something wrong.
He found me breaking down in the bar restrooms once.
“Austin is going to have a baby. With his wife, well his future ex-wife. She’s eight months pregnant.” I explained.
“Damn, Tyler Braxton is gonna be a step-dad! Who would have thought?” Jasper exclaimed. “May I call you daddy?”
I chuckled.
“I’m so mad, Jasper. I hate it but that’s just the truth. I’m mad at Austin, at his wife, at their baby! Can you believe it? I am pissed at an unborn child who has not done anything wrong in this world.”
“I mean, he did mess up your world.”
“She. The baby is a girl.”
Jasper took a more serious tone than his usual.
“But you still want to be with Austin, right?”
For the first time, I seriously asked myself that question.
Jasper did not ask if I was in love with Austin, which I was. He did not ask if I was forgiving him, which I may. He asked if I wanted to be with him.
Fuck…
That was a harder answer to give.
*
Day 21
Austin and I had been on edge for about three weeks when our fight ended.
We were doing pretty fine that day. We fucked twice the night before and Austin was really supporting me on my writing, which I thought was really cute.
The fight started for a silly reason. But it escalated quickly.
Mrs. Smith, the neighbour, complained about the noise we were making, (i.e. both the sex and the arguments we were having), and Austin made a remark which did not sit well with me.
“This is something I’m not going to miss next year, that old brat!” He said with a grin.
“So, this is decided then. We’re moving out next year?”
Austin was taken aback.
“Well, yeah… We’ve talked about it.”
I was reaching my breaking point and for the first point, I was able to pin-point what my issue truly was with my boyfriend’s behaviour.
“No, Austin. YOU have talked about it. You have decided. I did not have a say in the conversation.”
“I thought you were fine with it. I…”
“I have a job, here. A life!”
“A job? You’re working at a gay bar.”
That one hurt.
“That’s very nice of you, Austin, to always diminish what I do.”
“I’m sorry, Ty. You know that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean, then? That my life is so pathetically empty that once YOU decide to go somewhere, I should just be happy to follow you.”
“Damn it, Ty. I’m just saying that working at the “Man Cave” is not really a solid career path. I’m sure there’re tons of bars on the East-Coast!”
“You really don’t hear yourself sometimes. Your condescending tone.”
“What the hell do you want me to do? We both knew we were supposed to stay here for just a year. I’m not changing any of our plans. And you know the situation is different, you cannot keep resenting me for it! You cannot be mad at me for wanting to be near my daughter.”
“Being mad? I feel like I’m being very understanding here! And, of course, I get that you want to go live near her! That’s the problem, Austin. I really do get that you need to be close to your daughter and wife! I’m just starting to wonder if I should go with you.”
Austin started to pace around, which was never a good sign.
“Tyler, how many times will I have to tell you that I want you to be there with me?! I don’t see my life without you. Why is it so hard for you to believe? I chose you!”
I laughed sarcastically.
“You really don’t get it, don’t you?”
“Get what?”
“That this is not about YOU! Not everything is about what YOU want, what YOU have decided. Are you so full of yourself that you cannot consider that I may not be willing to follow you! That maybe, I’m no longer the Freshman boy who is ready to do anything to be with you?”
“I’m telling you, Ty. We can make this work.”
Austin tried to hold my hands but I pushed him back.
“What if I don’t want to? Have you thought about this? I trust you, okay. When you say that you love me, I trust that. But what if I don’t want to be with someone who has a kid? What if this is not the life, I had planned for myself?! I have not signed-up for this. When you gave me your big love declaration after prison, there was no baby, no wife, no ex-wife, it was just us.”
Austin was clenching his fists.
“Here we go, then! You regret choosing me over your prison boyfriend, Kurtis? Because everything is not exactly as planned, because I am not your perfect image of a boyfriend, you want to go back.”
I was so frustrated by this point.
“Really? This is what you think? I don’t care about Kurtis! I have not talked to him in months. And I did not choose you… It was…” I had to choose my words carefully. “Austin, I have been in love with you for eleven years. ELEVEN YEARS. Of course, I wanted to be with you over anyone else!”
“Wanted? Like… In the past?”
His voice was breaking.
“This is not about Kurtis; this is not even Cassie or the baby. This is about you and I. This is about me worrying for your sick mother for weeks! This is about the way you lied to my face, again and again! This is about the fact that you think you can act shitty towards me, make-up stories, and still, take decisions for the both of us without consulting me because you are so sure that I would always be there for you.”
“Come on, Ty, just listen to me…”
“No, no… The worst part is, you’re right! The minute you call, I come back. You can pounder about your future, living with your wife for days, and the moment you whistle back, I’m here. And it’s just a given for you!”
We were both crying.
“Tyler, please.”
“I am done with that, Austin.”
I knew I was right but it was still a crazy difficult thing to say and an even harder decision to make.
“What do you mean, you’re done?”
“Aust, I love you more than anything in this world, but I cannot let my love for you make me miserable.”
“Babe, don’t say anything you would regret.”
“I’ve been unhappy for weeks now and things are only getting worse and… I… I simply don’t need this in my life. I cannot be anxiously waiting for the moment your wife is going to call and you’ll have to rush towards her. Maybe that’s selfish, but I need to be my boyfriend’s priority.”
“Ok, Ty. I understand. I… I guess I have not realized how it’s been for you. I’m sorry. Truly. I should have been more considerate about your own feelings. And I’m sorry that I lied. But I’m sure we can work things out.”
“I’m the one being sorry, Austin.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t think I have the energy to try to make this work… I… I’m gonna go now.”
Austin tried to hold me back while I packed my things, but my mind was made up.
We needed to take a break.
I left for Janice’s place that evening. I knocked at her door around midnight, only a couple of days before her wedding.
*
Night 21
Richard and Janice were both very welcoming despite the situation, and immediately, they set me up in a nice guest room. They even cooked me a very late dinner.
I was very hungry. A weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
“We barely ever use this room so you can stay here as long as you want.” Janice told me.
I thanked her. I did not know what I would do without Janice in my life.
I spent most of the night crying, rehashing everything which had happened since the college reunion.
Until something happened which made me stop crying.
I threw some of my clothes in a large cabinet and something fell off my head. It almost broke my neck and I was stunned for a few seconds.
My day of luck, right?
It was a large black bag. I picked it up from the floor to put it back.
While I was about to close the zipper, something inside of it caught my attention.
A green fabric.
A cape.
I should not have looked in, I was a guest in a friend’s home, but I did (sue me!). There was not only a cape. But a mask too.
I was distraught because of the recent events so my brain took a little while to process what I was seeing.
It looked like a super-hero outfit.
Green.
A “Robin” super-hero outfit.
And there, under the cape, a couple of jockstraps. A green leather one and a golden one.
“Ah.” I audibly gasped.
I had to sit down on the bed.
There were a couple of dildos hidden in the back of the bag.
No way.
My hands were heavily shaking.
I opened-up the app on my phone. I looked for the Masked Hunk’s profile.
I mean… Richard had the same body shape but…
I could barely type his name on the search bar, I was shaking so much. The good thing was, I was no longer thinking about Austin and my break-up!
The Masked Hunk was sucking on the dildo on a video, the very same I was holding in real life…
But there was something even more telling.
How could I have not seen this before?
Those lips on the video… Those were Richard’s lips. No doubt.
Janice was about to marry a Pornstar… and she had no freaking idea!
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.
[MORE TO CUM]
And guys, this is how we conclude Part 1 one of this story! Who is ready for the second half?! This is only the start of the twists and turns to come…