Rain Storms Ch. 02

A gay story: Rain Storms Ch. 02 The next morning brought the whole issue crashing down on me again when he woke me early to send me home. Even though we were going to the exact same place, for the same amount of time, he didn’t want to ride in together. I didn’t make an issue of it to him. I certainly made of issue of it to my steering wheel and dashboard. I bitched at them the entire way home. I was so flustered that I failed to notice the gorgeous hunk of Goth sitting on the stairs to my apartment until I was right up on him.

“Where have you been all night, Rain?” Eric growled. His stormy gray eyes were flashing with anger and it was the absolute sexiest thing in the world short of those same eyes heavy with lust.

“Are you stalking me now, Eric?” I snarled right back.

“No,” he snapped. “I have been trying to talk to you but you’re avoiding me. Where were you all night?”

“No,” I shot back. “You don’t get to ask me that. You forfeited the rights to my whereabouts the second you stuck your dick in someone else.”

He rolled those stunning eyes. “I’m not here to fight with you.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Are you going to let me in?”

I didn’t want to. I already had no defense against him. If he decided to seduce me once we got inside, I wouldn’t stand a chance. But then, he was just as likely to seduce me right there in the open breezeway if that’s what he wanted. I walked past him, up the stairs, and unlocked the door.

“Why won’t you take my calls?” Eric asked.

“You know why,” I grumbled. “I have to get ready for work. Can you just say what you came to say and be done with it?”

“You can get ready,” he said softly. “I’m not going to rape you, Rain.”

I just stared at him. No. He wasn’t going to force me. I had no fear of that. I was more worried that I would jump him. I hated that I had no power to resist him. My body was already humming with the need for him to touch me just from being in his proximity. My clothing was the only protection that I had against my body’s visceral reaction to him. If I shed even one piece, there would be no stopping the primal instinct to join with him.

“Fine,” he huffed when I made no move toward changing clothes. “I wanted to tell you that I’m being sued. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.”

“Sued?” I asked, confused. “What for?”

“Paternity.”

The word slammed into me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t stop the gasp from escaping my lips. Eric was going to be a father.

“The kid isn’t mine,” he rushed to explain. “He looks like me but he’s not mine. I swear to you, Baby. He’s not mine.”

“K-K-Kid?” I stuttered. “He? Looks… How old is your son?”

“He’s not my son, Rain.”

“How old, Eric?”

“He’s two.”

“Two?” I repeated, doing the math in my head. “TWO?!”

“He’s not mine, Baby! I promise you! I didn’t fuck her! I didn’t!”

“TWO?!” I yelled again. “You sorry son-of-a-bitch! I was working my ass off trying to get a degree and you were getting your dick wet?”

“No!” he roared. “You’re not listening to me! I did not fuck her! You’re never going to believe me, are you? Fine! Even if I had fucked her, which I did not, the kid still wouldn’t be mine! I’m sterile. I had a vasectomy.”

“You did what?” I was still shouting. “When?”

“When I was in college,” he explained. “In Boston. They made me wait until I was twenty-one, but I got it the day I turned of age. I’m telling you the truth. The kid is not mine.”

“You had a vasectomy and you never told me?” I shouted. “Jesus fucking Christ, Eric! You didn’t think that was something you should have shared with your partner?”

“Why?” he asked, honestly confused. “You know how much I hate kids. And it’s not like you were ever going to ask me to get you pregnant. Why would you even give a shit that I got snipped?”

“Oh my fucking God!” I screamed. “You are never going to fucking get it, are you? Get out. Get out of my house!”

“Baby, please,” he whimpered. “Please don’t do this. I love you so fucking much. Please.”

I could see it. Pain, confusion, and love were, clear as day, stamped across his exquisite features, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that everything I was, I owed to him. It didn’t matter that there was no color or joy or love in my life without him. None of that mattered as much as the pain of betrayal that clouded everything. I couldn’t get past it.

“Get out, Eric,” I said.

He slumped, defeated, shook his head sadly, and left without another word.

I changed clothes and went to work. I was an hour early. But if I didn’t get my mind on something else, I was going to curl up into a ball and die.

Dylan found me, sometime close to eight, sitting at the console with a box of Kleenex in my lap. I wasn’t a crier. I absolutely wasn’t. But it’s amazing what having your heart ripped out and stomped on will do for you. Especially when you’re fully aware that most of the fault is your own.

“Are you upset with me?” he asked, taking note of my puffy red eyes, I’m sure.

I shook my head but continued working. “Eric’s being named in a paternity suit.”

“Paternity?” he asked. “There’s a baby on the way?”

I shook my head again. “The kid is two,” I told him as I hit print screen and pushed my rolling chair back to pull the page off the printer.

“Two?” he mumbled. “But that means…”

“I know what it means,” I replied, rolling back to the console. “I can do basic math.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“He claims it’s not his,” I continued. “He says that he got a vasectomy when he was at Mass Art.”

“Seriously?” Dylan asked. “Jesus. You never knew?”

I shook my head as Jason came strolling into the server room.

“Have lunch with me,” Dylan offered. “We can talk about it then.”

“Yeah. Ok,” I agreed and Dylan nodded and headed to his office.

“Are we going to run the CAT today?” Jason asked after he’d set his bag down.

“Yeah,” I replied. “Just let me finish this.”

“Ok.” He sat down to wait and I could feel him boring holes into the back of my head. I flinched when I heard him inhale to speak. “Are you ok, man? You look like shit.”

“Fuck you too,” I chuckled.

He snickered. “Seriously man. Are you still having trouble with your ex-girlfriend?”

I spun the chair around to face him. “I’m not going to play the pronoun game with you, Jase.”

“The what?”

“The pronoun game. He, she, him, her,” I replied. “My ex-girlfriend is a guy. I’m gay. If that’s going to be a problem for you, I need to know that now. I can’t do anything about this assignment but there’s only a couple of weeks left on it. I can make sure that the company assigns me someone else on the next gig. If you back out before this one’s finished, you’re going to take the hit for it.”

He looked stunned. Flabbergasted is a more accurate word. “You’re ga…”

“The word is gay. And yes. I am.” I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and slid out the picture of me and Eric that I had been carrying around for years. I looked at it before handing it over. It had been taken outside the Starlight Café. Eric was leaning back against the brick wall and I was leaning back against him. It was winter and he had his arms and his leather trench coat wrapped around me to keep me warm. The man was a walking space heater and I hated being cold. Neither of us had known the picture was being taken and it was a very candid and sweet shot of us just being us.

“Holy shit,” Jason said when I handed him the photo. “How fucking tall is this guy?”

“Six foot eight.”

He studied the picture long enough for me to get nervous that he wasn’t going to give it back. Then he handed it back with a smirk. “He’s hot. I mean he’s no Sharon Stone but, yeah, I’d do that.”

I laughed and put the picture back in my wallet back where it belonged.

“Should this be open?” Dylan asked, indicating the server room door. I had it propped open because it was on a timed lock that engaged at five and I didn’t want to have to deal with it every time I left the room.

“It’s fine,” I told him. “It’s frigid in here without this monstrosity up and running.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be cold?”

“Yes. To protect the systems. But they aren’t operational yet.”

“Ok.” Dylan looked around to make sure that we were alone, even though it was well after five and everyone had already left for the night. “Are you coming over tonight?”

“I don’t think so.” I finished packing up for the evening and stood to go.

“You are upset with me,” Dylan sighed. “You said that you aren’t but you are.”

“I’m not upset with you,” I lied. “I’m just trying to deal with what’s going on in my head and heart and I have no desire to get up at five a.m.”

“Rain, you know the score. You knew before we ever got here.”

“I know,” I sighed. “I just… Do you know how insulting it is to not be acknowledged? Do I expect you to tell your clients that you’re fucking the IT guy? No. But being kicked out of your bed before the crack of dawn was a bit much for me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Rain,” he argued. “I just knew that you didn’t have any work clothes with you and I thought you’d want time to not have to be in a rush.”

“So you’re implying that you wouldn’t have sent me home if I had work clothes with me?” I asked. “Because it felt like you should have been giving me money on my way out the door.”

His mouth dropped open in shock but he recovered quickly. “I thought you didn’t sleep with your clients,” he said with a smirk. “What’s the going rate for an overnighter, Rain?”

I knew that he was teasing but I wasn’t in the mood. “Ass,” I said as pushed past him and kicked the doorstop out from under the door on my way through.

“Rain! Wait!” he called after me. “I was kidding!”

I spun on him. “I know that you were kidding, Dylan,” I snapped. “The thing is, I wasn’t. That’s how it made me feel. If that’s what this is to you then that’s what it is. It would just be nice for me to know that so I don’t get my hopes up that you actually give a shit. Don’t worry. I’m not going to stop letting you fuck me just because I’m only a piece of ass to you. I just need to know that because even whores have feelings.”

“Dylan?” Senior partner, Albert Weston, of Granger, Weston & Graham, stepped out of the copy room three feet further down the hall than where Dylan and I were having our little spat. At high volume. And there was no door on the copy room. The man had heard everything.

Dylan closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. When he opened them again, he was looking right at me with no expression at all. I had never seen him look so blank. Even his eyes had lost that warm sparkle they always had for me.

“I’m sorry, Dylan,” I said. “I’m so fucking sorry.” At that, I turned and fled from the office.

The machine was flashing ten when I got home. I bit the bullet and hit play. How much worse could it get? On top of everything else, I was about to be fired. I didn’t think getting fired for fucking the client was going to look very good on my resume. I started stripping while the machine played back the messages.

“Baby, pick up the phone,” Eric purred. “I know you’re there. Come on, Rain. You sicced Irish on me…”

I hit erase. I’d heard that one live.

“Rain.” Eric’s sultry voice still stirred unspeakable things in me. “Please talk to me. I need to talk.”

Erase.

“Baby. I’m getting worried about you. Please call me.”

That was short and sweet. Erase.

“Hello,” a voice boomed, making me jump. “This is councilman…”

Erase. Jesus, damn. I won’t forget to vote. Must those pre-recorded political messages be deafening? November fourth, and the end of all the annoying campaigning, couldn’t come fast enough for me.

“Rain, just talk to him,” Irish sighed. “He needs to talk to you.”

Thanks Jessica. I got that. Erase.

“Rain. Pick up,” Eric commanded. “I’m not kidding. Pick up the damn phone.”

How presumptuous. I wasn’t even home. Erase.

“I’m wrapping up here,” Dylan said. “I seem to recall you having an interesting suggestion that I haven’t been able to get off my mind all day. Call me.”

That made me smile. Damn him. Erase.

“Rain, Baby. I really need to talk to you. I’m begging. Please. Call me back. It’s important. If I don’t hear from you soon, I’m coming over. I’m serious. Please call me.”

That would have been good to know. Oh well. Erase.

“Ok,” Irish started. “This is none of my business, and I should just stay out of it, but I want you to know that he swears he didn’t fuck her. You know he’d tell me if he did. He says that she tried but he turned her down. So this is how she gets back at him? I don’t know. Maybe she’s psycho. The court ordered tests will tell, right? Anyway. Don’t just dismiss him out of hand, even though, he probably deserves it.”

Ok. That also would have been good to know… like yesterday. Erase.

“Rain?” A voice that I didn’t recognize. “I hope this is the right number. This is Ryan. I got your last name from Barb. How many Rains can there be, right? I’m going to be back there tonight, if you’re the right person, and you’re interested in having a drink with me, you know where to find me. A lot of ifs, right?”

Hmm. Choices. Do I stay home, curl up in a fetal position, and lick my wounds; or do I go out, potentially get hammered, and let an adorable femme boy lick my… wounds? Not really that much of a choice.

How did I even get here? I had no clue. I’d had too much to drink on an empty stomach, that was for sure. I didn’t really care. I had ended up exactly where I wanted to be. Buried balls deep inside the tight velvet heat of Ryan’s ass. And it was Heaven.

I’d dressed for him. Black, because it looked good on me. Silk, because I wanted him to touch me. I’d even added some kohl around my eyes, because I wanted him to drool. It worked. But then, I’d been doing some drooling myself. He’d worn white. Soft, flowy, diaphanous, white. Like he was a bride. That’s what he was, my bride for the night.

All the alcohol was making it hard for me to think or concentrate. It was also making me numb, which made it hard to come. That was fine. For once, I wasn’t the one with the hair trigger. I’d taken him over the edge twice and watched him fall apart. It was astounding. This was the joy of being a top. This was the drive and the goal. My pleasure was secondary, inconsequential. There was nothing like the feeling of power, the rush, which came with giving another person their ultimate joy, ecstasy. He was beautiful just existing, but when he came for me, he was blindingly gorgeous. Every atom and fiber of his being I held in my grip, laid bare for me to see, and it was stunning. In that moment, he was totally and completely mine. And a few moments later, I was his.

I woke alone again. It was starting to become a pattern. A very annoying pattern. I also had a headache. That was fine. I deserved a little pain. I showered and got dressed. I wasn’t too sure what to wear since I was pretty sure that I was going to be fired. I went with black. It seemed most appropriate. I went into the kitchen and made coffee. There was a message on the machine so I hit play. It was the same one from the night before. I had forgotten to erase it.

I took my coffee to the living room because I didn’t have a dining room table. Or a dining room, for that matter. I found a note on the coffee table.

Rain,

I’m sorry I’m bailing on you again. I have business. I’d like to see you again. I’m not in a place for a boyfriend but I don’t think you are either. You’re too hung up on that guy. But that’s ok. I’d like to be friends. And I really like the benefits. Call me.

Kisses.

Ryan

I sipped my coffee with a smile wondering why I couldn’t find a top who understood me that well. I finished my coffee and headed out to work, or my execution. At least I’d have a smile on my face while my head was on the chopping block.

Amazingly enough, it didn’t occur to me to be nervous. About being fired, yes. But I was so sure that was going to happen that I never thought about how difficult it would be to continue to work there. That is, until I was standing in the lobby of the building. I nearly had a panic attack just trying to push the button for the elevator. I didn’t want to be fired but I quickly realized that job hunting may be preferable to having to face Dylan. And his partners. And a whole firm of employees that probably all now knew that I was fucking the boss.

I convinced myself to go up and hold my head up high, like nothing had ever happened. As the day wore on, I heard not one peep from my company. I also saw neither hide nor hair of Dylan. I was anxious, relieved, and agitated. I was torn between needing to see him so badly that I ached and not wanting to see him at all. I really didn’t know what I wanted, which was not normal for me, and I found it very disconcerting. Usually my wants were pretty clear; a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my stomach, warmth, love. I was pretty low maintenance, so all this confusion in my life was… well… confusing.

I made it through the day without getting the dreaded phone call or visit from my boss. But I also never saw, or heard from, Dylan. He couldn’t avoid me for the next couple of weeks, could he? There were no new messages on the machine when I got home. Just the one from Ryan that I had never erased. I didn’t know why, sentimental I guess.

I took a long shower to wash some of the stress from the day away, then I settled sideways on the couch and picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“What’s your last name, Minx?”

“Rain?”

“Yeah,” I smirked. “How many people you got calling you minx?”

He giggled. “Just you… so far. But I like it. I’m considering collecting more.”

The possessive noise that came out of me was completely involuntary.

“Did you just growl at me?” Ryan laughed.

“Maybe.”

“Oh my God,” Ryan laughed. “You’re so funny.”

“So what is it?” I asked again.

“My last name?”

“Yes, Ryan. Your last name,” I teased. “Don’t you think we’ve achieved a level of intimacy that merits an exchange of names?”

“Tanner, Goofball,” he snickered. “My name is Ryan Marc Tanner.”

“Ah,” I grinned. “So you were using your real name after all.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “It was easier. What’s your middle name?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Really? I thought it was some sort of law,” he joked.

“What can I say? I’m a rebel,” I chuckled. “Come over. I’ll show you how rebellious I can get.”

“Hmm. I can’t. I have a thing tonight.”

“I know that you have a thing, Minx,” I purred. “I want to play with it.”

“Tease.”

“I’m not a tease, Ryan. You know better than that. I’m hard as hell just thinking about the way that you taste.”

“Stop that, Rain. You’re going to make me go to dinner with a hard-on.”

“Skip it,” I suggested. “I’ve got something for that gorgeous mouth of yours right here.”

His giggle was too cute. “You’re a horndog. It’s hard to believe that you went six months without sex. Didn’t you get enough last night?”

“You just don’t know how incredible it feels to slide deep inside you,” I crooned. “It’s so fucking amazing, filling you up, making you come, with your tight heat milking every drop of cum out of me. I don’t know if I could ever get enough of you.”

“Rain.” His voice was soft and poignant. “Don’t get attached to me. Not like that. I wasn’t kidding about what I wrote. I’m not in a good place. I can’t handle more than I’m already giving you. You’re not in a good place either and I don’t want you to try to latch on to me. I don’t want to hurt you and that’s what will happen if you get carried away. You’ve been hurt enough lately. Please don’t make me add to it.”

“I’m sorry, Ryan. I’m being pushy,” I sighed. “Yes. I’m a little needy right now but I’ll try to dial it back some, ok? I do want to be friends. I want more but you’re right about all of it. I do that. I destroyed one friendship already trying to rebound. Just… Don’t give up on me, ok? Slap me down if you have to. It’s alright. I need it sometimes.”

“Honestly, Rain, I’m afraid you’d like it too much if I started slapping you around.” he ribbed. “If I remember correctly, word was that you got off on the rough stuff.”

“Holy shit,” I groaned and rolled my eyes. “Seriously? That’s what they said about me?”

“Among other things.”

“Like what?” I prodded.

“I didn’t take too much stock in the gossiping of whores,” he replied. “But they did say that you had a golden mouth. Tony the bartender, not my Tony, used to tease the girls that he had it on good authority that you gave the best head. I just thought he was trying to get a rise out of them. Now I know it was probably true.”

“Thanks but I’m putting my money on your mouth. You’re better than I am.”

“I don’t think so,” he snickered.

“Why don’t you come over we’ll test the theory,” I playfully suggested.

He laughed. “You’re incorrigible.”

“You’re irresistible,” I chuckled.

“Oh shit!” he exclaimed. “I have to go. My lawyer’s here.”

“Lawyer? Are you in trouble?”

“No, Babe. It’s just business. I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

“Ok. Enjoy your business dinner.”

After he hung up, I snuggled down into the couch with a warm fuzzy feeling because he’d called me Babe.

When the phone rang a few minutes after ten, I lifted my head from the book that I was reading but let the machine pick it up.

“Hey Rain. It’s Ryan. I know it’s late but I said I’d call…”

I picked up the receiver. “Hey Minx. How was your dinner?”

“It was good. Thanks,” he replied. “I’m sorry it’s so late. Were you sleeping?”

“No. I was just…”

“Screening your calls?”

“Yes.”

“Well I’m honored to have made it through the process,” he teased. “Did he call?”

“Which one?” I asked.

“There’s more than one?” he asked. “I only know about Eric.”

“Yeah. There’s Dylan too. The guy that I’m working for that I told you about. The one that knew me way back when.”

“And you’re avoiding him too?”

“Not avoiding,” I told him. “We just had a little run in. Enough about that. What do you need a lawyer for?”

“It’s just business,” he explained. “When Tony died, he left me everything. He owned a bunch of little businesses. Mom and Pop sorts of things like dry cleaners and video stores. A couple of service stations, things like that. He didn’t manage anything. He let other people do that because he was basically pretty lazy. It’s all a huge mess and I’ve been trying to get it all under control. He had a son, an illegitimate one. The kid is eight but his mom wouldn’t let Tony get anywhere near him. I’m planning to hand everything over to him when he’s of age. I figure it’s the least I can do for Tony.”

“I thought you said that you didn’t love him. That sounds like love to me.”

“I said that I wasn’t in love with him,” he corrected. “I loved him. He was a good person and he died way too young.”

“You said he had cancer.”

“Yes,” he replied. “It was called small cell lung cancer. It sounds pretty innocuous but it was terrible. He wasted away in less than ten months. He was only forty-five.”

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that, Ryan. What are you going to do with yourself if you give everything to this kid in fifteen years?”

“I’m going to enjoy taking care of the one business that I actually own. It’ll be fun.”

“What do you own?”

He giggled. “The bar.”

“The one that…”

“Yes,” he snickered. “Doesn’t seem like me, huh? It’s where I met Tony. He bought it for me the night we met. He was at the bar that night because he was planning to buy it. On a whim, he put it in my name, instead. It was never in his name so it’s not part of his legacy. It’s mine. I don’t know if he was trying to impress me, or buy me, but, either way, it worked. I never left his side from that night until I buried him.”

“That’s a very sweet story.”

“I know it’s a hole-in-the-wall but it’s mine,” he said. “I keep it separate from Tony’s businesses. I want to fix it up but it doesn’t make a huge profit so I’m forced to go slowly.”

“The dive atmosphere is part of the charm, Ryan,” I told him. “Please don’t turn it into some swanky place.”

“I agree,” he responded. “It would just be nice to have functioning plumbing all the time.”

“That makes me feel better, in a way,” I admitted. “I was a little concerned about Barb giving my name out to random strangers, but I guess you’re her boss.”

“So tell me about this Dylan.”

“Oh God, Ryan,” I sighed. “My life is such a mess.”

“Talk to me, Babe,” he urged. “That’s what friends are for.”

I did. I told him everything. We talked for two hours and, after, I felt better. Better, but exhausted. I fell asleep while still holding the phone. The loud off-the-hook noise startled me awake. I hung up the phone and fell immediately back to sleep.

I saw Dylan over the next two days but we didn’t speak. He didn’t come to the server room and I had no occasion to be in his office. I kept my head down and my butt planted firmly in my chair at the console unless it was absolutely necessary for me to be somewhere else. I barely spoke, except to Jason, and only about things work related. I didn’t socialize. I came in early, worked through lunch, and stayed long after everyone had gone home. I was the first in the office and the last to leave, as Jason was on hourly and I sent him home at five. I didn’t get home until seven on Wednesday, and on Thursday, I decided to leave when I noticed that it was six-thirty.

As I walked out of the building, I was calculating how much longer until the job would be over. I already knew that Jason would have to stay when I moved on to the next job. The company was going to have to assign me someone else. It was too bad. I had just gotten to a point where I was comfortable around him and we worked well together. I came around the corner of the building, on my way to the nearly empty parking lot, to see Dylan leaning against my car.

“You haven’t called,” he accused me as I unlocked my car and dropped my case on the seat.

“I didn’t know that I was supposed to,” I replied.

His brow furrowed. “You’re still mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you, Dylan,” I told him. “I thought that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Because we had an argument?”

“No,” I whispered. “Because I outed you. I’m so sorry. I never would have done that on purpose. I didn’t know that he was there.”

He nodded. “I know,” he sighed. “It had to happen sooner or later.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

He shook his head. “It was as much my fault. Probably more. We came to an agreement. I told him to stay the fuck out of my personal life and he told me to keep my fucking life out of the office. Pun intended.”

“So I’m not going to be fired?” I asked.

“God no!” he exclaimed. “I would never let that happen, Rain. Never.”

“If you’re not mad at me, why haven’t you spoken to me?” I whined.

“You told me that you wanted space to get your head on straight,” he explained. “I thought that’s what I was giving you.”

“I thought that you were done with me.”

“I’m so sorry, Lover.” He shook his head sadly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wish I could hold you right now and kiss that wounded look off your face.” He checked his watch. “I need to go. I want to talk to you but I have a meeting with a potential client. I didn’t expect you to work so late. Will you come over tomorrow night?”

A hard knot formed in my stomach. “I can’t,” I admitted. “I have plans.”

His brow furrowed again. “Plans? You’re back with Eric.”

I shook my head. “I haven’t even heard from him since Monday. I have plans with Ryan.”

“Ryan?” I could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to place the name. “The bottom?”

“Yes.”

The pain on his expressive face was obvious.

“No, Dylan,” I rushed to explain. “It’s not what you think. He’s not my boyfriend. We’re just friends.”

“Friends who have sex,” he stated.

“Yes.”

“I thought you were mine.” His voice was scratchy and laced with sorrow.

“Were we supposed to be exclusive?” I asked. “We never discussed it. I’m not a cheater, Dylan. If you want us to be monogamous, I can do that. But it’s something that we would need to talk about. I would need more from you than you may be capable of, or willing to give.”

“I want us to be together,” he responded. “Just us. I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“I need you to think about that for a while,” I told him. “I can’t have another one-sided relationship. I just can’t. I’m not in the closet, Dylan, and I’m not going in. People will know that we’re together. If you can’t handle that then I can’t commit to you, not like that. I’m not trying to push you or force you. I’m just making things clear where I stand. You need to decide if that’s what you really want.”

He nodded his understanding but didn’t reply.

“Go to your meeting,” I prodded. “We can talk later, when you’ve had time to consider. Ok?”

He frowned. “And in the meantime you’ll be seeing Ryan.”

“Please don’t do that,” I sighed. “I don’t have many friends. I don’t make friends easily. Ryan is important to me. Even if he and I never have sex again, he’s still going to be my friend.”

He checked his watch again, even though less than five minutes had passed since the last time. “I really need to go. I’ll call you later.”

I watched him walk toward his car and get in. For some idiotic reason, I had expected him to kiss me goodbye. He didn’t.

I didn’t see Dylan all day on Friday. He was in the office, but he and the other senior partners were holed up in the conference room with a client. It must have been an important client because they never had meetings that lasted more than a couple of hours. Right at six o’clock, I was headed out the door when someone stepped into my path as I attempted to pass the conference room. Having almost plowed into him, I looked up sharply into familiar hooded eyes.

“Sheldon!” I exclaimed in shock.

He had not changed a single bit in the intervening years since I had seen him the one and only time. Everything, down to his all black clothing and brown pony tail, was exactly the same. The only thing missing was the pentacle around his neck, but I could see a silver chain peeking out from under his collar. He looked confused.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “You may not remember me. My name is Rain. Rain Dutton. Eric’s Rain.”

His sleepy eyes grew wide in surprise. “Goddess! Of course I remember you! Twelve by four!” he laughed. “I told that story for years! It was the funniest thing to see someone that unflappable get all flustered.”

I glanced around and realized that we had developed an audience. All three of the senior partners, and a few other people, were within earshot.

“How are you?” he asked. “And how is my favorite stoic artist?”

“I’m fine,” I replied. “We split up some time ago.”

He frowned. “I’m so sorry to hear that. You were good for him.” He turned suddenly then turned back to me and whispered, “Did I just get you in trouble?”

“No,” I whispered back, dramatically. “I’m out. Besides, I’m just the contracted network guy.”

“Good,” he whispered back with a big smile. “I hate having to throw the prima donna, wronged customer fit. It’s so boring.”

I laughed but noticed that no one else that had been in the meeting was smiling. “I should go. I don’t want to keep you.”

“No!” he exclaimed. “This is kismet! We were breaking for dinner. You must join us and explain to me all the benefits that this company can provide me in this digital age.” He dropped into a sotto voce, “They have to do whatever I want and they are boring me to tears! Please come. I’ll die if you don’t.”

“I have dinner plans,” I explained, still trying to bow out.

“Like a date?” He clapped his hands in excitement. “You must bring him. I insist. The suits won’t mind. Will you guys?” He had directed the question over his shoulder but didn’t wait for a response. “They don’t mind. We’ll hold dinner for you. Someone will tell you where we’re going. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“But Sheldon!” I argued as he turned away from me.

“No. See you there,” he tossed over his shoulder as he and two other guys strolled out of the office.

Holy crap. He’d just bulldozed over me and the partners didn’t look at all happy about it. The last time we’d met he must have been seriously stoned or something because he hadn’t been nearly that pushy.

Mr. Graham and Mr. Weston looked at each other. Mr. Graham shrugged. “I’m not even going to be there. It’s all you guys.” He turned and headed back to his office.

“Kyle!” Mr. Weston called. Mr. Graham just waved his hand over his head in a dismissive manner. Mr. Weston turned on Dylan. “Fix it,” he ordered.

“Fix it how, Al?” Dylan asked. “Do you want the account or not? Add up all the zeros before you answer.”

“How many queers do I have to have dinner with to secure one client?” Mr. Weston snarled, pissing me off.

“Looks like five, at least,” I retorted. They both turned to me, shocked that I would speak up. I was a little shocked myself, truthfully. It didn’t stop me from continuing. “Sheldon is gay and, unless I am mistaken, which is highly unlikely, one of those men with him was his lover. I could be wrong though. The last time I saw him was at a gay pickup place and it was fairly dark.”

They both stared at me but I could see a slight twinkle in Dylan’s eyes, encouraging me to keep going. “In fact, Mr. Weston, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that you were the only straight guy at the table. But don’t worry about it. I’m almost positive that it’s not contagious… Usually.”

“I’m sorry that I’m late,” I said to Ryan as I got out of my car in the parking lot of my apartment complex. “There was a delay at work.”

“Server problems?” he asked.

“No,” I explained, letting us into my apartment. “The client that they are romancing turned out to be someone that I knew. I have been ordered to come to dinner with them.”

Ryan pouted a little and his protruding bottom lip was irresistible. I bent down and kissed him. “I was looking forward to having dinner with you all week.”

“You still can,” I said. “Your presence has been requested.”

“Seriously?” he exclaimed. “I’m not dressed for a business dinner.”

He was wearing all white again. He had on tight jeans that hugged his little body just so and boots with high enough heels that he stood slightly taller than the 5’2 that he claimed to be, which I doubted. Over that, he had a white undershirt and a white button down that was unbuttoned and untucked. He was also wearing a touch of make-up, and his long blonde hair was loose and wavy, curling around his face and hanging down his back, just past his shoulders. Even though I was pretty sure every article of his clothing came out of a women’s department, it was still the most masculine outfit I’d ever seen him wearing. “You look beautiful, Minx,” I told him, honestly. “I’d love to skip it and stay here and mess you up some.”

“But?”

“But I told Dylan that I would go,” I admitted. “This account is important to him. You don’t have to go but I’d like it if you did.”

“Does Dylan know about us?” he asked, suspiciously.

“Yes,” I replied. “He’s not thrilled but he’s an adult. He’ll be fine.”

“Then I’ll go,” he grinned. “I’m dying to meet your heartthrob.”

I smirked at him. “He makes something on me throb, but I’m pretty sure it’s a little lower than my heart.”

I changed clothes into something more comparable to what Ryan was wearing, black jeans and a silver button down, and we headed out to the restaurant.

“Greek?” Ryan asked when we pulled into the parking lot.

“Yes. Is that ok?”

“It’s fine,” he said with a small frown. “I haven’t had Greek food since Tony passed. He was Greek and we ate it a lot.”

“I’m sorry,” I grimaced. “Do you want to bow out?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I can do this. It’s not so bad. It’s been over a year. It’s time to get over it.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. He didn’t look very confident.

“Yes.” He gave me a sad smile. “They’re good memories.”

We were the last to arrive, and the others were already at a long table, set for eight. Sheldon introduced us to Steve, his partner, and Edward, his lawyer. I introduced Ryan to the table. Dylan schooled his features into that dishearteningly blank look that I had seen only the once before.

“I know you,” Sheldon said to Ryan after we were seated. “You’re Tony Augustus’s boy.”

Ryan startled in surprise. “Yes. Have we met?”

Sheldon shook his head with a sad smile. “Steve and I were at the funeral. I saw you there but we weren’t introduced.”

“Thank you for coming,” Ryan replied. “Where do you know Tony from?”

“We went to school together,” Sheldon explained. “I’ve known Tony almost my whole life. I’m very sorry for your loss. Tony was one of the good ones.”

“Yes he was,” Ryan agreed. “I miss him.”

“And now you’re dating our Rain,” Sheldon added. “What a small world.”

“Dating?” Ryan giggled. “No. Rain and I are very good friends. We’ve known each other for almost eight years.”

Sheldon cocked an eyebrow but didn’t gainsay the statement. “So then you know our Eric too?”

“No,” Ryan explained. “I was with Tony while Rain was with Eric. We didn’t cross paths again until recently.”

Mr. Weston cleared his throat. “So about your project…”

“Don’t stress, Al,” Sheldon replied in a bored tone of voice. “I’m going to sign the papers. You and Edward can work out the details of the contract.”

At that, the party seemed to split into two groups with the business men at one end and the gay boys at the other. Only Steve seemed to have any interest in following both conversations. Ryan and Sheldon hit it off, and only Steve and I appeared to take any notice of Mr. Weston and Sheldon’s lawyer taking their leave after concluding their business. Mostly I noticed because Dylan got up and moved into the empty chair next to me. He reached under the tablecloth and ran his palm up my thigh.

“I’m feeling overdressed,” Dylan announced, glancing around the table. With Steve and Sheldon both in black shirts and pants, Dylan was the only one left at the table in a suit. He stood and signaled a waiter to take away the extra table while he shed his suit coat and draped it over the back of the chair. He loosened his tie and top buttons and sat back down with his elbows on the table. “Now that the stuffed shirts have left, where were we?”

Sheldon chuckled a bit. “I thought you were one of them.”

“God, I hope not!” Dylan laughed.

Ryan held out his hand to Dylan. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Dylan took his hand but didn’t shake it. Instead he bent over and bussed the back of it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you too. You’re far from what I expected.”

Ryan tittered a bit at Dylan’s charm. “Is that good thing or a bad thing?”

“It’s a good thing,” Dylan assured him.

Sheldon quietly watched the whole exchange. “There’s something here that I’m not getting.”

Ryan explained, “Dylan is Rain’s… What are you guys, exactly?”

“Boyfriend,” Dylan supplied.

“Lover,” I corrected. “The boyfriend part is still under consideration.”

“Not for me,” Dylan replied, staring deeply into my eyes.

“Oh yeah,” Sheldon moaned. “I’m definitely signing that contract as soon as Edward gets it ready.”

Steve laughed. “Leave it to you to find the one openly gay architect in the city of Dallas.”

“Hush you,” Sheldon admonished his partner. “I’m sure there are others.”

“How long have you guys been together?” I asked them. “I didn’t meet you, but you were there at Reverchon that night.”

Steve nodded. “We’ve been together for twenty-five years.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “How do you do it?”

Steve chuckled. “I have no idea.”

“I’m the only one that will put up with him,” Sheldon supplied.

“Oh yes, you diva,” Steve teased. “I’m tough to handle.”

“I’m not a diva,” Sheldon argued. “I just know what I want.”

“You know what everyone wants,” Steve corrected.

They were snipping at each other but they were both grinning. There was blatantly a lot of love there, and it was comforting to know that it’s possible to find someone like that. I wanted that kind of love in my life. I was tossing around the possibility of Dylan being that man for me when something Sheldon said broke through my reverie.

“Now, if you can just get my favorite artist to sign onto the deal, I’ll be in hog heaven.”

I groaned inwardly. Did he mean who I thought he did?

“Who’s the artist?” Dylan asked. “I’ll get to work on it on Monday.”

Sheldon looked right at me when he answered, “Eric Unger.”

Everyone turned to me. I had four sets of eyes drilling holes in me when I put my head down on the table.

I was on the floor, under the receptionist’s desk, when I heard her take a sharp breath. Holly had been leaning back against the wall behind her desk while I checked her cabling, but when I looked up at her gasp, she was standing straight up with a seductive smirk on her face.

“I have a two o’clock.” I heard the unmistakable sultry rumble of the voice that never failed to make my spine tingle and other parts of my body sit up and take notice. I cursed under my breath.

“And your name?” Holly purred and leaned over the desk, I’m sure, exposing her ample cleavage to him. I wondered if he looked, felt a twinge of jealousy, and brutally stamped those feelings into the ground.

“Eric Unger.”

“Oh yes, Mr. Unger,” she purred some more and I had the urge to do something mean to her legs. “They will be just a moment but I can show you to the conference room. Right this way. Would you like… something… while you wait?”

Ok. She was going to take him to the conference room. I could just hide under the desk until he was securely behind the door. Of course, the fact that she was blatantly offering him sex made me want to jump up and strangle her. Especially when I heard the deep rumble of his chuckle. “If I think of anything I need, you’ll be the first I call on.”

“Hey, Rain,” Jason called. “Whatever you did it’s working. It’s pinging now.”

“Rain?” Eric echoed.

Well, fuck. “Not anymore,” I said as I crawled out from under the desk with a nicked network cable. “The cable is damaged, Jase,” I explained. “Can you grab some CAT? Three feet should do.”

“What happened to it?” he asked.

I bent the cable at the slice. “Looks like it got cut.”

Jason took the cord and glared at it. “This is the third one.”

Jason and I both turned to Holly. She colored slightly. “I might have stepped on it.” Stepping on it wouldn’t have caused the damage. She had to have been cutting them intentionally. She was cute, if you went for the Cowboys Cheerleader look, but not very bright.

“Rain?” Eric repeated.

Jason and I both looked up at Eric.

“Is that…?” Jason whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“Yes,” I replied in a normal speaking voice.

“He’s really tall,” he whispered just as loudly.

I rolled my eyes. “Smooth, Jase,” I grumbled. “Why don’t you go replace the cable?”

“Oh yeah,” he said. “Sure.”

“What are you doing here, Rain?” Eric asked.

“Working,” I replied curtly and walked past him toward the server room.

“You work here?” he asked, following me.

I turned to face him.

“Ah. Mr. Unger,” Dylan interrupted upon walking out of his office further down the hall. “I see you’ve met our network guru.”

Eric ignored Dylan. “Rain?”

“Thank you, Rain,” Dylan continued. “I’ll show Mr. Unger to the conference room. Right this way, please.”

Eric didn’t budge. He didn’t even look at Dylan. He just kept looking at me with his stormy gray eyes filled with sorrow.

“Go have your meeting, Eric,” I said gently. “I have work to do.”

It wasn’t even ten minutes later when I looked up to a rap on the server room door. I rolled the chair over and opened it to admit Eric.

“I took a blood test,” he told me. “Will you talk to me again when the results come back and I have proof?”

I glanced at Jason behind me. He was openly staring at Eric. I glared at him until he noticed and went back to work. “That’s not the problem, Eric.”

“Then what is?” he asked.

I sighed. “This is neither the time nor the place. I’m working here.”

“You name the time and place, Rain,” Eric offered. “I’ll be there.”

“You want to talk now?” I snapped. “That’s rich.”

“Rain, please. I’m trying.”

He sounded so melancholy that I didn’t have the heart to bitch at him anymore. “Call me when you get the results. Maybe we can talk then.”

He smiled but it didn’t reach the sadness in his eyes. “Thank you.”

I nodded and turned back to the console. He stood at the door silently for a few minutes, watching me work, before he left. I waited until I was sure that he’d be gone before I left the room and went straight for Dylan’s office.

“You asshole,” I snarled. “You could have warned me.”

“We can’t do this here,” he replied. “I will be happy to talk to you but after work, ok?”

“Fine. Fuck it.” I stormed out of his office and back to the server room.

“That was your ex?” Jason finally found his voice.

I huffed.

“He’s…” His voice trailed off.

“Tall?” I suggested. “Intense? Gorgeous?”

“In love with you,” Jason replied. “I was going to say that he’s so obviously in love with you. The way he looks at you… I would kill to have someone look at me like that.”

After work, I went straight to Dylan’s house. I didn’t go home and change first. I didn’t even call. I just showed up on his doorstep, pissed.

“Rain, come in.”

“What the fuck was that?” I snarled. “You should have told me that he was coming.”

“If I had known that having Eric at the office would get you back into my house, I would have done it a week ago,” he smirked.

I gaped at him. “Are you trying to be funny? This is so not funny, Dylan!”

He sobered up. “It was business, Rain. Nothing else.”

“Bullshit!” I shouted. “You intentionally blindsided me! If it was just business then there was absolutely no reason not to warn me.”

“If I had told you ahead of time then you would have hidden in the server room,” he replied calmly.

“Well of course I would have!”

“I didn’t want that. I wanted things to play out naturally.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shouted.

“Do you know how long it took him to agree to my proposal? Two minutes. I hadn’t even finished explaining the project. He would have agreed to anything just to get out of my office and back to you.”

“He would have agreed to the job anyway, Dylan. He likes Sheldon. Don’t lie to me. This wasn’t about business at all. You wanted to see how I would react to him. This was some sort of test. Admit it.”

“That’s not what it was at all.”

“You’re so full of shit. You purposefully put us in the same room to see if we were going to fuck or fight. You treated us both like shit. You hurt both of us for no valid fucking reason. I have told you over and over how toxic we are but you can’t accept it. For some unknown reason, you seem to think that I’m going to run back into his arms the second that I lay eyes on him. What you did, that was just fucking cruel.”

“I’m sorry, Rain,” he sighed. “It wasn’t like that at all. It was just business.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” I snapped. “Maybe someday you’ll believe it, because to me, it’s a waste of air. You could have gotten him on the project without having to ambush us. But I’ll tell you this for free; the second that he finds out that I ever let you touch me, he’s out. He’ll never finish a single thing for your project so you might want to find yourself a backup artist now.”

“Rain, wait!” he called as I walked out.

“No!” I shouted back. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

I stood under the soothing spray of the showerhead long enough for my skin to prune but it didn’t alleviate my turmoil. The phone was ringing when I stepped out and I answered it.

“Hello.”

“Rain?” Ryan’s voice comforted me more than the water had. “What’s wrong?”

“How can you tell something’s wrong from ‘hello’?”

“You answered the phone,” he explained. “You never answer the phone.”

“If you thought I wasn’t going to answer then why did you call?”

“You always call back,” he replied. “What’s wrong? Do I need to come over?”

“Aren’t you working tonight?”

“I work every night,” he said. “You’re more important.”

“No, I’m not,” I argued. “What you’re doing for Tony and his son, that’s more important.”

“Tell me what happened, Babe,” he urged.

“I’m just tired of the games, Minx.” I sighed and glanced up at the ceiling. “I’m just tired.”

“What games?”

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I don’t think this thing with Dylan is going to work.”

“Shit,” he breathed. “I’m coming over.”

“Do you know that you’re naked?” he asked when I opened the door.

“Yeah.” I glanced down. “Sorry. I’ll put something on.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smirked. “I’ve seen you naked before. Besides, it’s your house. It’s your prerogative to be naked if you feel like it.”

He followed me into the bedroom and watched as I slipped on a pair of shorts. “What happened with Dylan?”

I sank down to the floor and he sat on the edge of the bed. The bed was high enough that his feet didn’t quiet reach the floor.

I reached out and skipped my fingers over the bas-relief of the chest beside me. “Have you ever looked at this?”

“Not really,” he said. “What’s in it?”

“Toys,” I told him.

“It’s a toy box?”

“The adult kind of toys,” I explained. “Dildos, vibrators, cock rings, restraints, a collar, a couple of floggers, a paddle…”

Ryan smirked. “So they were right about you and your proclivities.”

I shrugged. “I guess. What’s in it isn’t important though. It’s the piece itself that’s important.”

He hopped off the bed to get a closer look. “When I’ve been in here, I haven’t been paying attention to the furniture.” He studied the erotic scene carved into the top of the chest lid. “Holy shit. This is you. Is this Eric?”

“Yes. I forget that you’ve never met him.” I flattened my palm over the image on the front of the chest. “Eric made this for me when I first moved in with him.”

“I can’t believe that I never saw this,” he said. “This is…”

“Pornographic?” I offered. The chest was three foot by two foot and had a graphically rendered carving of Eric and me in a different sexual position on each side.

“Beautiful,” he corrected and ran his fingers over the top. He squatted down to examine the scenes on the front and sides of the chest. “Is there one on the back too?”

“Yes,” I replied. “Spooning.”

“Can I see?”

“Yes.” I slid the chest away from the wall so he could look at the back. The image on the top was of us in a standard missionary position. The front of the chest showed us in Eric’s favorite position, horizontal, back to front. The right side of the chest had me in his lap, riding him, face to face. The left side image was my favorite. We were both on our knees, facing forward. He was behind me with his mouth on my neck and his arms wrapped around me. “When I first met him, his work was very violent, bloody. After this, his stuff became far more sexual. There were still times when he would do something that was just plain gory; but, for the most part, his work was sensual and erotic.”

“He fell in love,” Ryan suggested.

“I know that he loves me. I love him so much, Ryan. It tears me up inside that we just can’t seem to be together. He can never tell me what he’s thinking or feeling and I’m not a mind reader. I can’t seem to do anything right for him because he won’t tell me what he needs or wants. He’s not getting whatever it is that he needs and so he goes elsewhere for it. He cheated on me but it’s not about sex. There was never a lack of that. It’s something emotional that he’s feeling the lack of that makes him step out and I don’t know how to make it right.”

He nodded. “You’re not communicating.”

“Not effectively,” I agreed. “We just end up screaming at each other. I know that I’m not good enough for him. I know that. I can’t make him happy. I know it’s me. I just don’t know what to do about it. There’s something wrong with me that I can’t figure out how to provide what he needs. I don’t know how this happened. I used to be so tolerant. I used to be able to accept him the way he was. It’s not even about him cheating on me. All this started way before that. I don’t know what happened to me. I’m the failure. Me. We used to just fit together but something got broken or twisted in me and I can’t seem to make it work anymore.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Rain,” Ryan argued. “Relationships are hard. Communication is important and you guys don’t do it.”

“It’s not his fault. He’s closed off and distant because his parents didn’t pay any attention to him, so he doesn’t know how to open up,” I explained. “I’m not saying it’s their fault that he won’t talk to me. I just mean that it’s the way he was raised. He doesn’t know any other way to be and I know that. I should be able to understand. I should be able to help him.”

“It’s not your fault either, Rain.”

“Everything hurts,” I said. “Seeing him hurts so much. I just get so angry and out of control every time I’m with him. Not being with him hurts even more. It’s killing me. Every night, I come home to an empty apartment and it hurts. I go to bed without him and it hurts. I literally feel like pieces of me are dying inside every day that we’re not together. If he’s feeling even a small portion of the amount of pain that I am, I don’t know how he’s surviving it. He isn’t like us, Ryan. He never lived on the streets. He never had to cope with the constant terror and the fight just to stay alive. He was never raped or beaten. He’s not tough like us. He’s hurting and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“God, Rain. It’s not your responsibility to fix everything for him. He’s an adult. He is just as much in this mess as you are.”

“Dylan brought Eric into the office today and he didn’t warn me. He intentionally set us up to run into each other.”

“What?” Ryan exclaimed. “Why would he do that? He knows how volatile the situation is, right?”

I nodded. “I don’t know why he did it. He says it was just business but I don’t believe that. I think he wanted to see how we’d react to each other. I think he was preforming some sick kind of experiment.”

“Is it possible that it was just business?” he asked. “Did he gain anything from it?”

I nodded. “He thinks so but I know better. He thinks that Eric agreed to work on the project just to be close to me. Eric would have agreed to work on the project as soon as he found out it was for Sheldon. So the only thing that he really accomplished was hurting me and Eric. I’m afraid that Dylan isn’t the person that I think he is. He either intentionally set his lover up to get hurt just for shits and giggles, or he did it for business. Either way, I don’t think I can be with him anymore. Even if it was exactly like he said, then he callously put his client’s whims before his lover’s needs.”

“He doesn’t know Eric like you do. Maybe he honestly thought he couldn’t get Eric’s cooperation without the incentive,” Ryan suggested, playing the Devil’s advocate.

“Then he should have talked to me. He might not know Eric but he knows that I do. I could have helped him get Eric onboard without anyone getting hurt,” I argued. “Besides, now Eric knows that I know Dylan. He’ll be on the lookout for anything unusual. If Eric finds out that I had sex with Dylan, he’ll go ballistic. He won’t work for him. Not even if Dylan sues him. There’s nothing the courts can do to force an artist to create. He won’t do it.”

Ryan frowned. “So I guess Dylan shot himself in the foot.”

“Exactly.”

“Did Eric sign a contract?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“Maybe you should warn Eric,” he suggested.

“Warn him?”

“Yes. Let him know that he’s being played. Tell him to protect himself.”

“How can I do that without betraying Dylan or hurting Eric?” I asked.

“Call him and tell him to be very careful about committing to anything. You don’t have to explain why.”

I shook my head. “I can’t. You don’t know what it’s like talking to him. I lose control of myself. We’d end up fighting and hurting each other.”

“Then I’ll talk to him,” he offered.

“Why? You don’t even know him.”

“No,” he replied. “But I care about you. If Eric gets hurt, it will hurt you too, and I don’t want that to happen.”

I stared at him, dumbfounded that he would do such a thing for me. “You’re a really good person, Ryan. It’s too bad that you’re not in love with me.”

He giggled. “I’m half in love with your cock, if that counts.”

I laughed. “I take it back. You’re a slut,” I said and stuck my tongue out at him.

He laughed. “Don’t point that thing at me unless you plan on using it.”

I had to have a drink, or four, before I worked up the nerve to dial Eric’s phone number. While I was bolstering myself with liquid courage, we went over everything Ryan was going to say. I wanted to do this. I felt like Eric had a right to know. I was just scared.

Once I had a good buzz going, I dialed and handed Ryan the phone.

“Oh God, Baby. I’m so glad you called,” Eric answered. Obviously he’d gotten Caller ID since I’d moved out.

“It’s not Rain. This is Ryan. I’m calling from his phone.”

“Ryan?” The menace in Eric’s voice was perfectly clear from my position on the couch, approximately two feet away from Ryan.

“I’m Rain’s friend,” Ryan explained.

“Why are you calling?” he asked. “Is he in trouble?”

“No,” Ryan replied. “Did you sign anything today?”

“Sign anything?” Eric asked. “At GWG? No. Why?”

“Rain doesn’t really work there. He’s on a short term contract that ends next week,” Ryan told him.

“Who the fuck are you and why does this have anything to do with you?” Eric snarled.

“I’m Rain’s friend,” Ryan explained again. “I just want you to be careful before you make any commitments. Be very sure of what you’re agreeing to.”

“This is for Sheldon,” Eric bit back.

“I know,” Ryan replied, nonplussed. “I met him. He’s cool. We all had dinner together. Just… the firm is not Sheldon and they may not have your best interests at heart.”

“I didn’t just fall off of the turnip truck.” Eric was getting more annoyed by the second. It was time for Ryan to end the call.

“No. I know,” Ryan replied. “It’s just… If you’re in anywhere near as bad of shape as Rain is, you might do something without thinking about it. Just don’t make any commitments without bringing your lawyer, ok?”

“Just how stupid do you think I am?”

“I don’t think you’re stupid at all,” Ryan assured him. “But I do think that you might be hurting. Rain seems to think that you hung the moon. And I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces when he falls apart because you were too distracted to protect yourself. I need to go. Just think about what I said. Bye.”

He hung up the phone and fanned his face.

“I know,” I groaned. “He’s so fucking sexy.”

“Did I do ok?” he asked. “It was so weird. He acted just like you said he would. Almost word for word.”

“You did great,” I grinned. “Now he’s going to call Sheldon to find out about you and, with any luck, Sheldon will take care of him. I hope so anyway. He did before.”

“What if Sheldon tells him that you’re dating Dylan?”

“Then, hopefully, Sheldon will be as gentle as possible. Eric will know everything and be able to make an informed decision. And I’ll expect a bat-shit crazy Eric to show up at the office on a rampage. Then he’ll go into a severe depression and Irish will scream at me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Ryan swore. “Drama.”

“Yeah,” I replied with a frown.

I must have drank myself into a stupor because I was jolted awake and I didn’t know why until I heard voices from the living room.

“Who the fuck are you?” Eric snarled.

“Ryan. You must be Eric.”

“Are you fucking my Rain?” Eric accused.

“Jesus Christ!” Ryan snapped. “Do I look like a fucking top to you?”

That gave Eric pause. “Where is he?”

“He’s sleeping. Hey! Wait!” Ryan exclaimed. “I don’t know if I should let you in.”

I smirked at the image in my head. Eric was nearly two feet taller than Ryan. Ryan probably came up to his belly button. There was no way Ryan could stop Eric from doing whatever the fuck he wanted but it didn’t keep Ryan from standing up to him.

“It’s ok, Ryan,” I called out. “Let him in.”

Seconds later, I felt the bed dip down as Eric crawled onto it. He grabbed me and manhandled me into the little spoon. “Is it true, Baby?” he murmured. “Are you fucking him? Have I lost you forever? Have I destroyed us?”

I knew he didn’t mean Ryan. “What time is it, Eric?”

“One.” My timing had been off by at least seven hours.

“I’m going to go,” Ryan called from the bedroom doorway. “You guys need to talk.”

“Don’t go, Minx,” I begged. “We can’t talk. We don’t know how. Besides, I’m tired. Come back to bed.”

Ryan giggled. “I don’t think there’s room.”

“Sure there is,” I argued. “You’re tiny. Eric will scoot over. Come back to bed.”

“You’re a freak, you know that?” Ryan snickered but walked over to my side of the bed.

“I know but you love me anyway.” I held up the covers and Ryan stepped out of the shorts he was wearing, my shorts, I noticed, and crawled back in bed. I tugged Ryan’s body into mine so now I was playing the middle spoon. Eric softly growled his displeasure at the situation. “Don’t be an ass, Eric. If anyone is leaving, it’s you. Do you want to stay in bed with us or not?”

Instead of a verbal response, he snuggled up to me tighter and kissed the crown of my head.

I drifted back to sleep sandwiched in between the person that I loved and the man that I was in love with. I had never been more content in my life.

When my alarm went off, there wasn’t a damn thing that I could do about it. It was on the other side of Eric’s body. I opened my eyes to find Ryan awake and facing me.

“You’re still here,” I smiled.

“Yeah,” he grinned. “I didn’t know if I should leave you alone with him.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me but I’m glad that you stayed.”

“Based on your toy collection, he hurts you all the time,” he replied with a frown.

“That’s consensual, Minx.”

He shrugged. “Things get carried away. Happens all the time.”

I kissed him on the nose. “I love you.”

He smiled. “I love you too.”

“That’s the first time we’ve said that.”

“I know.” He wrinkled his nose. “He’s fucking sexy.”

I chuckled. “I know.”

“He’s fucking annoyed,” Eric grumbled. “What the fuck is that noise?”

“It’s my alarm, Dickhead. It’s behind you. Turn it off.”

Eric released his grip on me and rolled. He slapped the clock a few times until the beeping stopped. Then he rolled back and snuggled into me again.

“He probably just snoozed it,” I smirked.

“Doesn’t he know how to work an alarm clock?” he teased.

“No,” I replied. “He has an amazing internal clock. He doesn’t even own any clocks.”

“Weird,” Ryan replied.

“We’ve got nine minutes, Minx. Whatever shall we do with them?”

He looked shocked and then giggled. “You should probably get up and get ready for work.”

“I’m up already,” I murmured and tugged his little body flush with mine.

I kissed him and he pulled away. “Ew,” he said. “Morning breath.”

“Mine or yours?” I smirked.

“Mine,” he replied. “Yours isn’t bad. You don’t snore.”

“Good to know,” I grinned. “You do and it’s adorable.”

He grimaced.

“I don’t care. Kiss me anyway.”

I pinned him down and took possession of his mouth, eliminating his choice. He responded after a few seconds. I didn’t forget that Eric was in bed with us, I was just tired of constantly worrying about, and trying to riddle out, his feelings. If he had a problem, he’d have to tell me.

He didn’t let go of me but he relaxed his grip enough to allow me maneuverability. I used it to my advantage. I pulled Ryan further under my body and slipped my hand between his legs. He parted and raised them for me instinctually. I rubbed circles around his entrance but didn’t try to penetrate him.

“I want inside you, Ryan,” I purred.

“For eight minutes?” he groaned.

I groaned out my frustration. “No. That’s not enough time. It will have to wait.” I kissed him and wiggled my way out of Eric’s embrace, over Ryan’s body, and off of the bed. I walked toward the bathroom, turning off the alarm clock on the way.

“You said that you weren’t fucking him.” Eric’s voice was soft but I could still hear it clearly.

“I’ve never fucked anyone in my life,” Ryan responded.

“Semantics, Squirt,” Eric replied.

“Really?” Ryan retorted. “Would it still be just semantics if I asked you if you let Rain fuck you?”

Eric scoffed, “That’s not the same thing.”

“It’s exactly the same thing,” Ryan responded. “And don’t call me squirt.”

I turned on the shower to drown out the sound of their argument. I trusted Ryan not to hurt Eric too badly, emotionally, and I trusted Eric not to hurt Ryan at all, physically. As the reverse was completely impossible, I had nothing to worry about. I was just going to let them work it out on their own. When I came back into the bedroom, only Ryan was on the bed. But he was fully dressed.

“Did he leave?” I asked, drying myself off.

He shook his head. “He went outside to smoke. He shouldn’t do that. It’s what killed Tony.”

“I know, Minx. He doesn’t do it all the time. He’s a pretty light smoker unless he’s stressed out. Which, I imagine, has been a lot recently.”

“Do you want me to go make coffee?” he offered.

“If you like. Did you argue the whole time I was showering?” I asked, digging through my closet.

“Not the whole time,” he assured me. “I see what you mean, though. He’s hurting. You can see it in his eyes. He needs to just let it out. Why can’t he do that?”

“He once told me that he didn’t talk about himself because he felt like people were just looking for something to judge him about or ways to hurt him. He doesn’t like to feel vulnerable.”

“He’s already hurting,” Ryan pointed out. “He should trust you more.”

“I do trust him,” Eric interrupted. “I trust him with my whole being; body, heart, and soul.”

Ryan turned to Eric. “Then talk to him.”

“I don’t know how,” Eric admitted. “Everything I say comes out wrong. I can’t make myself understood. We both get frustrated and we fight. I’m tired of fighting.”

“Is this better, Eric?” Ryan asked. “Are you happy? You’re going to lose him if you can’t figure this out.”

“What do you care?” Eric groused. “You’d rather keep him for yourself anyway.”

“Don’t do that,” Ryan said gently. “I’m not the problem here. I am not your enemy. Rain and I are friends. I love him and I want him to be happy. He is in love with you and believes with all his heart that you two would be happy together if you could just communicate. You said yourself that you want to stop fighting. Find a better way.”

“See! That!” I exclaimed. “Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I respond with logic and compassion when he gets all snarly?”

“Because you’re emotional and sensitive. He trips all of your triggers and you can’t help but respond with passion. You are both very passionate men. Maybe you guys should find a shrink.”

Eric and I both shook our heads. A psychiatrist was impossible.

“I can’t talk to him,” Eric argued. “I certainly can’t talk to someone I don’t even know.”

Ryan sighed dramatically. “I’m going to go make coffee.”

“I made it already,” Eric replied.

“Then I’m going to go drink some coffee.”

After Ryan left the room, Eric asked, “Is it true? Are you fucking that Granger guy?”

I arched my eyebrow at him.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Is he fucking you? Are you lovers?”

I sat on the edge of the bed to put my socks and shoes on. “Don’t ask me questions if you don’t really want the answer.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he croaked. “I had hoped that, with the little show you put on this morning, Sheldon was wrong.”

“Ryan and I are just friends.”

“Friends with benefits,” he corrected. “I know better than anyone how difficult it is for you to develop friendships, Baby. I would never try stand in the way of a friendship for you. But it drives me crazy that you touch him and you won’t touch me.”

“Do you want me to fuck you too, Eric?” I drawled, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

He ignored the question. “How many people are you having sex with, Baby?”

“Less than you,” I retorted.

He sat down on the bed next to me. “I’m not having sex with anyone, Rain.”

It was my turn to scoff. “You don’t expect me to believe that do you?”

“Not really. No,” he sighed. “It’s the truth though. I haven’t been with anyone in a long time.”

“What’s a long time for you, Eric?” I snapped. “A day? A week?”

“You’re the last person that I had sex with.”

That pissed me off. “Don’t insult my intelligence by lying to me! You and I both know that’s an outright fucking lie!” I shouted. “I fucking walked in on you!”

He sighed, “You’re right. THAT was the last person that I had sex with. Except that I didn’t finish. So I don’t know if it counts.”

“You had your dick in her, Eric. It fucking counts.”

“That being the case, I’ve had my dick in my hand a lot. So I guess the last person that I had sex with was me,” he half smirked.

“Don’t try to be cute, Eric,” I griped. “You didn’t go two days without sex the whole time that we were together. And that was only if you were so wrapped up in your work that you got lost. Don’t expect me to believe that you’ve suddenly been celibate for six months.”

“I don’t expect you to believe it, Rain,” he told me. “But it’s the truth. You just don’t understand and I can’t seem to make you. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I’ve even tried. It’s pointless. I can’t. All I can think of, all I desire, is you. I haven’t even had sex with Irish. Nothing and no one else feels right.”

“Then why did you cheat on me?”

He covered his face with his hands and groaned, “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.” He dropped his hands into his lap and turned to lock his gaze with mine. “I don’t know, Baby. I don’t know what I was thinking or why. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could undo all the mistakes that I made. I have fucked up, and fucked over, everyone that I have ever cared about. I just don’t know why.”

“Hey.” Ryan stuck his head in the doorway. “I have to go. I have a nine o’clock that I postponed from last night.”

I glanced at the clock. I no longer had time for coffee. “Shit,” I groused. “I have to go too.”

“Do you want me to turn off the coffee pot?” Ryan asked.

“Please,” I replied. “Thank you for last night and everything. Call me later.”

He nodded and blew me a kiss.

“Eric? I want to keep talking to you but I have to go to work,” I explained. “This has been good. It’s a good start. You were doing really well. I’m sorry that I’m cutting you off when you’re on a roll. Can we try this again?”

“Yes,” he frowned. “I have to go too. I was supposed to meet with my lawyer about the GWG contract.”

“Are you still going to do it?”

“Fuck no!” he barked. “I have a meeting scheduled with Granger at two. I feel like punching the douchebag in the face for touching you.”

“Please don’t do that,” I begged. “I do care about him.”

Eric snarled and I stood up and kissed him. “I’m not in love with him, Eric.”

He brought his fingers up to his lips in surprise and gently touched spot that I had kissed. His stormy gray eyes filled with moisture that threatened to spill over but didn’t.

“Thank you,” he whispered, reverently.

“Thank you for talking to me,” I smiled. “I know how hard this was for you.”

I waited all morning to see if Dylan was going to tell me that Eric was due in the office. He didn’t. I don’t know why I was surprised, but I was. After the blow up the day before, I expected him to be a tad more considerate of my feelings. I was disappointed. I didn’t get angry about it, just resolute. Dylan and I were simply not compatible. He was just as horrid at relationships as Eric, only in a totally different way. Eric was all action and no talk. Dylan was all talk and no follow-through. Really the perfect guy for me was Ryan. He had no problem telling me how he felt and he always kept his promises. I could have been happy with Ryan except for the matter of the fact that we weren’t in love with each other.

At fifteen ’til two, I went to the reception area under the guise of working on her terminal. I was leaning on the desk beside her when Eric walked in a few minutes later with his lawyer. I smiled at him and his return smile could have powered the building.

“Marry me,” he blurted out.

“What?” Holly tittered and blushed.

The ditz thought he was talking to her and I had to bite my tongue to refrain from laughing. “I can’t marry you, Goof. It’s not legal.”

“We’ll move to Denmark. We can get married there,” he insisted.

“Legal union, Eric,” his lawyer corrected, dryly. “It’s not marriage.”

“Close enough,” Eric brushed him off.

I did laugh then. “Do they even speak English in Denmark?”

“Dutch, I think,” Eric said.

“Danish,” the lawyer supplied, rolling his eyes. I had never met Eric’s lawyer, and I didn’t even know his name, but I decided right then that I liked him.

“Do you gentlemen know each other?” Holly asked. We all ignored her. Could she not remember back as far as the day before?

“I’ll get married when I can take my vows in the language that I speak and in the country that I live in,” I said.

Eric pouted. “How about a long engagement then?”

“You’re a dork,” I laughed. “Go to your meeting. And be nice!”

“Holly?” Dylan came strolling down the hall. “Has Mr. Unger… Oh. Good afternoon, Mr. Unger.”

“Granger.” Eric’s barely controlled rage was evident in his eyes but his voice was carefully modulated as to not be threatening. I wondered how long he’d practiced that particular skill. “This is my attorney, Stephen Harlow.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Dylan shook Mr. Harlow’s hand and extended his hand to Eric, only to be ignored. I knew why. Eric wasn’t overly fond of being touched by anyone that he wasn’t intimate with, but there was no way that he’d intentionally touch someone that he had hostile feelings toward. He was big and intimidating. He had a great deal of strength in him, he was full of fire, and, as Ryan had said, passion. He could very easily hurt someone by accident so he didn’t take the risk.

From the look on Dylan’s face, and the glance that he shot me, he didn’t understand. I just shook my head in incredulity. Dylan had really screwed up by not using his resources. He had a veritable fount of inside information on Eric and he blew it for no discernable reason.

Their meeting was short and I missed Eric’s departure. I was walking by Dylan’s open office door at half past two and he called out to me.

“Close the door,” he requested after I stepped into his office.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

I closed the door but didn’t move closer to him.

“Do you want to tell me what just happened here?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” I said, innocently. “Is there a problem with your computer?”

“No there isn’t. I mean with your boyfriend. Would you like to explain what that was all about?”

“If you mean Eric, he’s my ex-boyfriend, and I wasn’t in here so I can’t answer your question,” I told him. “I’m also pretty sure that this does not fall under my contracted job duties, and therefore, by your own guidelines, we cannot be having this discussion right now. Can this wait until after work?”

“Damnit, Rain. You know very well what I’m talking about. Just answer the damn question.”

“Here’s what I know, Dylan. If you wanted to know the ins and outs, whys and hows, of Eric Unger, you should have asked me. You should not have contrived to put us in the ring together like some sort of glorified cock fight for your amusement. If it backfired on you, you can’t say that I didn’t warn you. I’m going back to work. If you would like to continue this discussion, we can do so after work.”

The phone was ringing as I walked in the door. I grabbed it and plopped my sweaty ass on the couch with my mail.

“Hello?”

“You’re home!” Ryan exclaimed.

“Hey, Minx,” I grinned. “How was your day?”

“Good. Busy. How was yours?” he rushed though. “I was worried when you didn’t return my calls.”

“I was at the gym,” I explained. “I just walked in. I haven’t even had time to check the messages.”

“Ok. Well, ignore the ones from me.”

“You were worried?”

“Yeah, well… I left you guys alone.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me. I promise. You never have to worry about that.”

“I know you said that but…” He sighed. “It’s probably just my issues. It’s just… he’s big.”

For some reason, the knowledge that he was worried about my safety made me rock hard. “Come over,” I purred. “We have some unfinished business.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course, Minx. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I kinda thought that you were just doing that for his benefit.”

“I would never use you like that, Ryan,” I promised. “I’m sorry that I led you to believe that. I’m really sorry that I left you worked up and unsatisfied. I aim to fix that.”

“Hmm. Sounds wonderful but I can’t. I’m working tonight.”

I braced the receiver on my shoulder and started sorting through and opening my mail. I hadn’t picked it up the day before and there was more of it than I had expected. “What is it that you do every night?”

“I’m trying to get Tony’s businesses in order,” he explained. “And I’m having to learn how to manage everything.”

“So you’re taking classes?”

“In a way,” he replied. “More like tutoring. I have a business manager and an accountant and a lawyer that I meet with. They are all teaching me different aspects of business. I’m also spending some time in the stores to see how they’re being run.”

“Well shit!” I exclaimed as I read the letter in my hand.

“What?”

“I’ve been turned down for the apartment that I applied for,” I said. “That never happened before. It’s the only place that I applied and my lease is up at the end of the month. I have nowhere to go. Fuck.”

“Why were you turned down?”

“It says that I don’t have enough credit history,” I told him. “I don’t have any credit, actually. And I’ve only been working for my company for a year. This sucks. I guess I know what I’ll be doing Saturday.”

“You have a credit card,” he replied. “You use it at the bar.”

“It’s in Eric’s name,” I explained. “Everything is in Eric’s name. My car, my apartment, everything. The card has my name on it, and I pay the bills, but it’s just a secondary card. The account is in his name.”

“Didn’t you have student loans?” he asked. “That’s gotta be credit.”

“No,” I sighed. “Eric paid for my schooling. I feel like a suddenly divorced housewife with no name of her own.” I tossed the letter across the room in frustration.

He giggled. “That’s what you are, Babe. Don’t worry. It’ll get better.”

“Come over,” I urged. “Make me feel better.”

“I thought you wanted to make me feel good,” he teased.

He made me grin. “I do. That will make me feel astounding.”

“I wish I could,” he sighed. “I’ll be working late tonight, and I have to be back at it in the morning.”

“I could come there,” I suggested. “Then you wouldn’t have to get up so freaking early.”

“Umm…”

“Do you not want me to know where you live, Ryan?”

“No. It’s not that.” He hesitated. “I don’t mind you knowing. It’s just… It’s Tony’s house.”

“Say no more, Minx. I understand.”

“Do you?” he asked. “Because I don’t. It’s been over a year. Fuck it. Come over.”

“No.”

“No?” he echoed. “Why not?”

“Because you’re not ready,” I explained. “I don’t want you to be uneasy. Don’t push yourself, Minx. You’ll know when you’re ready and I’ll still be here when you are. You’re comfortable being here and I’m fine with that.”

“Sometimes you’re too sweet for words,” he groaned. “I’ll come by after I get done. It’ll probably be late, after ten. Is that ok?”

“Sure,” I smiled. “I’ll just nap until you get here.”

“Oh?” he responded with a teasing lilt to his voice. “Planning on a late night?”

“Oh yes,” I crooned. “Very, very late.” There was a harsh beep in my ear. “There’s a call on the other line,” I told him.

“Get it,” he said. “I have to go anyway. I’ll see you later.”

“Later.” I switched over. “Hello?”

“Rain?” Dylan greeted me. “Are you coming over?”

“Not tonight.”

“I thought we were going to talk about what happened.”

“Not tonight, Dylan. I have plans.”

“With Eric?” he accused.

“No. With Ryan.”

He was silent while he digested the information. His voice was laced with sadness when he finally responded. “You would rather spend the night with Ryan than me?”

“I’m not going to be arguing with Ryan. He hasn’t hurt me. I’ve had a rough couple of days. I just want to relax and have some fun with no pressure and no stress. You and I can get together tomorrow night.”

“Rain, I… I miss you. I’m sorry that I hurt you. It was stupid and petty and… You’re not the only one hurting here. Please come over.”

“Tomorrow, Dylan. I’ll come over tomorrow.”

The phone rang twice while I was in the shower. I checked the messages when I got out. There were a few from Ryan, he really had been worried about me, one from a telemarketer, and one from Eric. I finished drying off and then did something that I hadn’t done in six months. I called Eric back.

“Rain?” he answered.

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“Holy fuck,” he breathed. “Wait! Wait. Don’t… Just… Hold on a sec.” I could hear shuffling and the music in the background suddenly switched off. Everything got quiet and I thought I could almost hear him breathing. “Baby,” he crooned. “I’m so glad that you called. Thank you.” He wasn’t trying to saturate his voice with sensuality. That was just the way that he normally sounded. He was a highly charged sexual being and his voice reflected that, especially if he was emotional.

“You left a message,” I reminded him. “I was returning your call.”

“Yes but…” He paused. “Thank you. Have dinner with me. I… Please.”

“Not tonight,” I said. “I have plans.”

“I thought we could try again,” he suggested. “You know, the talking thing.”

“I’d like that, Eric. But not tonight.”

“Because you have plans?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Can I ask who with?”

“Ryan,” I informed him.

“Oh.” The melancholy was evident in his voice, even in just the one word.

“I haven’t had a good day, Eric,” I told him. “I need to be with someone who doesn’t stress me out. I do want to talk with you. I think we made a good start this morning. I just need some time to work some stuff out of my own.”

“What kind of stuff, Baby?”

“I’m going to be homeless at the end of the month.”

“Why?”

“Because my lease is up and I don’t have enough credit to get another place.”

“Rain, you know I won’t let that happen. All you have to do is tell me what you want and I will take care of it.”

“I want to be self-sufficient, Eric. I want to be able to do this on my own. You can’t give me that.”

“Rain…” He paused. He was dying to tell me to just come home but he knew it would start a fight. “The offer is there if you need it,” he said instead. “It’s open-ended.”

I wasn’t sure if he meant the offer to help me get a place, or the unspoken one to move back in with him, but I was grateful either way. “Thank you. I’ll let you know if I do. I’m going to go now. I’ll call you in a couple of days.”

“Wait! Baby I… I love you, Rain.”

“I love you too, Eric.”

By the time the latch engaged on the door, Dylan was already kissing me senseless. I could smell and taste the bourbon strongly on his breath and his kisses affected me the same way they always did, weak knees and body trembling. “Shouldn’t we talk first?” I gasped out when his lips traveled down to my neck.

“No. God please no,” he husked. “I’m so scared,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m so horribly afraid that once you’ve said what you’ve come to say, there won’t be an after. Not for us.”

“Dylan,” I moaned softly.

“Please don’t talk, Rain,” he begged. “Let me keep my hope alive. Just for one night. Please.”

He kissed his way down my smooth torso, unbuttoning my shirt as he went. His tongue and teeth unerringly searched out and homed in on all the spots that drove me wild and mindless. He got on his knees, sucking the top of my hip bone, marking me, while he opened and parted the front of my pants. He ran his tongue down my iliac furrow as he pushed my pants and underwear down my thighs.

My head slammed back into the door, and my fingernails scratched for purchase on the wood grain, as he swallowed my entire length down his throat. If I’d have the slightest ability for cognitive reasoning at the moment, I would have stopped him. He was breaking his own rule. He wasn’t being safe.

“Oh fuck,” I moaned and panted. “I’m going to… I’m going…”

He pulled his mouth off of me but continued to jack my turgid cock while he watched my face. “That’s right, Lover. Come for me.”

Then he wrapped his talented mouth around my cockhead and slipped his saliva slicked fingers between my legs. He gently pushed his finger inside me and it was my undoing. White light flashed on the backs of my closed eyelids and it felt like some vital part of me was ripped out of my body and deposited into the warm, wet recesses of his skilled and eager mouth.

He stood up, sliding his fully clothed body against my disheveled, but temporarily satiated, one. He captured my lips, sharing my now slightly bourbon flavored essence with me until there were no remnants left. “You shouldn’t have done that,” I told him when I regained the ability to think and speak. “It’s not safe.”

“Rain.” My name fell from his lips like a prayer. “If this is our last time together, I’m not going to spend the rest of my life regretting that I never got to taste you.” He entwined the fingers of one hand through mine and caressed my face with his other. “All of you.” He kissed me again. “Come on.” He tugged me toward his bedroom, tripping and stumbling over the pants that had, unbeknownst to me, pooled around my ankles.

He stripped us both and laid us across his massive bed, kissing and caressing my body the entire time. I didn’t eke out a single word of protest when he pushed my legs up and drew the flat of his wicked tongue over my entrance. It had been so long since anyone had rimmed me that I simply reveled in the spine tingling sensations of his slick and probing muscle. I was writhing and moaning under his ministrations, and when he stopped licking me, I groaned out my objections loudly.

“Fuck,” he husked. “Should have been doing that the whole time.”

“Don’t stop,” I gasped. “So close.”

“Need you, Lover,” he grunted while hurriedly sheathing and lubing his throbbing cock. “Need to be inside you.”

He gripped the backs of my knees and watched with rapt fascination as he breached my hole and slowly sank to the depths inside me. As before, the expected pain was just not present. He stretched me, and it burned, but the pleasure of being filled far outweighed the slight discomfort. I didn’t need the pause that he gave me to adjust. It was like his cock was built for the sole purpose of fucking my ass. I rocked my hips up to encourage him to move.

His eyes shot up and locked with mine. A smile broke out on his face. “Patience, Beautiful,” he chuckled. “You feel so fucking amazing. I want this to last.”

He slowly pulled halfway out and then back in. The second time, he pulled all the way out and reapplied lube before pushing back in. He was driving me crazy and a whimper tore out of my throat.

“Are you needy?” he husked.

“Yes,” I groaned. “Please.”

He, finally, started thrusting his hips in a steady rhythm. It was slow and deep and it made my eyes roll back in my head in bliss. After a few minutes, he shifted and my body reacted with a violent spasm as he slammed into my prostate.

“Yes,” he hissed. “Is that the spot?” he asked, repeating the same move and eliciting the same reaction from my body.

“Yes,” I moaned. “More. Right. Fucking. There.”

“Oh yeah.” He repeatedly drilled the spot. “Gonna make you come now, Lover. Then we’re gonna keep going and make you come again.”

“Oh fuck.” I clutched at the sheets as he let go of one thigh and got a firm grip on my weeping cock. He began stroking my dick in concert with the pounding that he was giving my sweet spot. I couldn’t survive. I wasn’t built to withstand such glorious torment. My orgasm burned a path through my body and spattered my stomach with stripes of white.

He milked me through the throes and then pulled out of me. He waited until I was watching him before he licked every drop of my seed off my stomach and visibly swallowed. After I was clean, he crawled up my body until we were eye to eye then he pushed back inside me. I arched up to meet his thrust.

“Fuck, Rain,” he breathed once he was buried to the hilt. “You are so gorgeous.” He kissed me hard and undulated his body, plunging deep inside me in wave after wave. He made love to me with his hands, his mouth, and his cock. It was passion and pleasure. At no point did he ever use the punishing rhythm I had known him to employ before, and at no time did he inflict any pain on me. He kept his promise about making me come again and he joined me soon afterward.

I was half lying on top of him, my back to his front, and he had his arms wrapped around me as if he was afraid that I might be stolen. I was somewhere between awake and asleep. I was trying to stay awake but it was a losing battle. We had been going at it for a couple of hours and I was exhausted.

“I’m so sorry, Rain,” he whispered as I drifted in and out of consciousness. “I should have kept my big mouth closed in the beginning and claimed you for myself. I could have had you this whole time. I should have treated you like you deserved. I should have come out for you. I should have trusted you with my heart. I never, ever, should have hurt you…”

I’m sure there was more. I wanted desperately to hear what he had to say but the sandman had other ideas.

I awoke to discover that we had changed roles. I was holding him. He was still on his back but I was facing him with my body mostly draped over his. I had one arm under his head and the other around his chest. I wondered if he had been having nightmares and I had attempted to comfort him in my sleep. I didn’t move. I didn’t want to wake him and I was very comfortable. Dylan didn’t produce the kind of heat that Eric did. Over the years, I had become tolerant of Eric’s body heat but I had never become comfortable with it. Except in the winter. I was very appreciative of it in the winter.

I let my mind contemplate that, drifting the way it does when you’re not really fully awake. I speculated as to the possibility of body hair playing a role. Neither Eric nor I had any significant body hair. Dylan had plenty. The night that I had slept between Ryan and Eric, I had been quite comfortable. But Eric had stayed fully dressed. Ryan and I had both been nude. Thoughts of Ryan being nude brought up memories of exploring every inch of his wonderfully reactive naked body. Images of Ryan crying out his pleasure as I worked over his body had me hard and dripping pre-cum on Dylan’s hip. And that was the condition he found me in when he chose to wake at that moment.

“Hmm.” He rolled us over so that he was on top and wrapped his fingers around my swollen shaft. “Yes,” he hissed as my breath hitched sharply. “We’re going to be very late to work.”

We walked in to the office together, even though we had taken separate cars.

“It’s ten o’clock,” Mr. Weston scowled at Dylan.

“Is it?” Dylan asked, innocently. “I had a problem with my system at home this morning. I needed Rain to help me get it resolved.”

The expression on Mr. Weston’s face relayed loudly and clearly that he wasn’t buying it for a second. “See that it doesn’t happen again.”

“You’re late,” Jason pointed out needlessly as I dropped my case on the floor of the server room.

“Yes,” I sighed. “I am.”

“Are you ok?” he asked. “Did you get hurt?”

“No,” I replied. “I’m fine. Just late.”

“Because you’re like, never late,” he explained. “And you’re kinda walking funny.”

I whipped around and squinted at him.

“What?” he asked.

I glared at him and then put my fist on my hip and arched an eyebrow at him. It took him more than a minute to do the math.

“Oh.” His face bloomed bright red. “Umm… Well, fuck.”

“Exactly,” I said.

Jason shut his mouth and wouldn’t meet my eyes for the rest of the day.