A gay story: Secret Prayer Ch. 04 First thing the next day, after mutually enjoying each other’s bodies for a bit, Gage used Jarek’s laptop to start searching for help for LGBTQIA youth in the area. The best option he found in the area was a group called the Silas Foundation, which had been set up to help anyone in the LGBTQ+ community that needed help getting out of bad situations. They seemed to work a ton with youth, but also helped anyone that needed the help no matter the age.
He set up a meeting with them the next day so they could talk about what kind of help he needed and what they might be able to do for him. It didn’t take long for his family and the mission president to start contacting Gage once they knew he had left. Tate wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret for long. Missionaries weren’t supposed to go around alone. Part of it was to keep missionaries in line but the other side was for safety. Missions could get dangerous depending on where you were located. Even in well populated and developed countries like the US, missionaries were shot and killed sometimes.
Gage only answered the calls from the Mission President, to tell him he was done with the church and his mission; and his mother, who begged him to rethink this or come home. He could hear his dad screaming in the background that if he didn’t come home, then he was shutting off his phone line. By the time his phone line shut down later that afternoon, Gage had walked down to the bank to take out everything from his bank account so his parents couldn’t get it and bought a cheap plan from a different company, which luckily let him keep his same number.
When Jarek got back from classes, he found Gage laying down on the couch with his arm over his eyes. His body language spoke to just how stressed and defeated he felt. Jarek set his things down and sat down near Gage’s feet, pulling his shoes off and rubbing them gently but firmly. “Want to tell me about it?” he asked.
“Dad turned off my phone, so I went and paid for a cheap plan so I could still contact people,” Gage explained. “I’m getting non-stop messages from my family begging me to reconsider my choices, repent what I’m doing. My sister Kayla told me I’m disgusting and making mom cry all day and night…”
“Wow, that’s got to be difficult to swallow all at once. How do you feel about it?” Jarek asked quietly, continuing the foot rub.
Gage finally moved his arm away from his eyes and looked at Jarek. “Kayla is kind of always terrible, but I’m feeling a lot of guilt about mom. She sounded devastated on the phone, and dad was livid. I heard him screaming and slamming things. Addison has been the only level headed one so far, and she told me that she just wanted me safe and happy.”
Jarek looked concerned, “Do you think your family is safe around him?” he asked delicately.
“Craig wasn’t,” Gage replied with a severe look darkening his features. “Addison will likely be fine, and Kayla is always on dad’s side. I don’t know about mom though. I think mom sometimes just goes with the flow. She enables him, you know? She was the parent that believed me when I told them the bishop was…he was doing things he shouldn’t have done to me. Dad said I was lying for attention. And now Mr. Hartman wants to come over with the Bishop of the nearby church to talk to me about my decisions.”
“I won’t tell you they’re unwelcome here, but I will ask that I be present and I will warn you that I will physically eject them before I let them do lasting damage to you,” Jarek said with the kind of quiet determination that made it clear that he would brook no nonsense from anyone when it came to Gage’s safety.
“They’ll keep hounding me until I give in, but I accept your conditions. They don’t have to like it, but they have to accept it,” Gage said. “And I meet with a representative of the Silas Foundation tomorrow to get help finding a job, building up a wardrobe, getting health insurance and IDs, and the like.”
“Sounds like you’ve worked everything out!” Jarek praised. “I’m proud of you, Gage!”
Gage blushed a bit at the praise. “I really just talked to people, mostly. In some cases, heatedly.”
“Yes,” Jarek agreed, “you talked to people. You didn’t sit here and mope. You didn’t panic and run back to the church. You didn’t pore over your holy books trying to justify your experiences through the lens of the corrupt theocracy you came from.”
“I did the poring over the holy books thing in the weeks leading up to all of this,” Gage admitted. “Nothing really fits what Craig and I have been going through, and the general consensus of the church and Apostles is to just abstain.”
“How do you feel about that?” Jarek asked, leaving the question open-ended.
Gage looked at the ceiling for a moment, considering the question before he shook his head. “I just don’t understand how love could be a sin. And if it’s not, then that means the Apostles are wrong in what they have told us before. The Apostles aren’t supposed to be wrong, ever. The more I look through the history, though, the more I see where later Apostles have ‘fixed’ things older ones did, like refusing to give blacks the priesthood until it was making it hard to get people of color to join the church. It seems hypocritical. So, if it’s not a sin, and if the apostles are just people who let their biases get in the way of what they are supposed to be doing for the church, then it’s hard to view the church as true, let alone the true church.”
“That’s the danger when you deal in absolutes,” Jarek said, nodding along.
“Honestly? I can’t imagine a world where God can exist and he does nothing to try and stop someone like Craig from killing himself,” Gage explained, tears coming to his eyes that he didn’t try to hide. It felt like his heart was having a hole carved out of it where Craig used to be. “I know he’s not supposed to get involved in most human things, supposedly, but…my brother is dead for no reason other than loving someone, and how could a God exist and let him suffer like that? I’m not so sure I even believe he does.”
Jarek grimaced slightly at Gage’s words. “I don’t think Craig’s sexuality is what killed him so much as the ignorance, intolerance, and condemnation from the people he loved,” Jarek said carefully, running his hand along Gage’s leg to help sooth him, as well as reminding him he was there for him.
Gage nodded his understanding, staring at the ceiling. “And if it wasn’t suicide, it could have been murder. We had a brother at my church murdered for it. It was the hot gossip for a while when I was sixteen.”
“I’m surprised he wasn’t excommunicated posthumously,” Jarek muttered.
Gage laughed at that, not hiding the bitterness in it as tears slipped down his face. “Oh no, they would never do that. The LDS church is known for baptizing the dead in order to let them get into heaven. It makes them a permanent member of the church. They’ve done it to the Jews from the holocaust, saints, Gandhi, Buddah, and more. His family did a blessing for him right after the murder, hoping it would absolve him of his sins so they could see him again as he had let his membership slip a little.”
Jarek shook his head. “That’s definitely different from the Catholic church’s practices. They like to withhold the promise of heaven from families of LGBTQ+ people. Honestly, I’m not sure which is worse!”
“I’m not sure either,” Gage admitted before he sat up and curled into Jarek’s side for comfort, reveling in the feeling of Jarek putting his arms around him and holding him close. “Both are messed up ways of dealing with it.”
The next day, a woman named Kennedy Ward showed up at Jarek’s house in the afternoon. She was a short woman, only about five foot two, and was dressed and styled in a much more masculine way, with jeans and a t-shirt on with a flannel shirt over that. Her hair was dark brown and cut short and spiky. She smiled at the two of them and asked if she could come into the residence. Jarek laughingly asked to see her teeth before inviting her inside, which gained him a grin from her before she swore she wasn’t a vampire.
“My name is Kennedy, and I’m from the Silas Foundation,” Kennedy explained as they sat down in the living room. “Your situation is far more unique than we’ve handled before. I mean, obviously, we have had people fleeing from religious households, but nothing like an LDS missionary leaving in the middle of his mission. My boss is planning to fly in to help with this in case it becomes a big one, but I can help with some of our immediate issues now.”
She went through a bunch of questions, asking Gage about his history, age, if he had done any schooling, if he wanted to go to school, what his aspirations and dreams were, and more. She made it clear that they had ways to help him get through school if he wanted to, such as helping him prove his parents weren’t supporting him, getting him grants and scholarships, and the like.
Gage said he was open to that, but he really wanted to work with his hands if he could. He knew how to hunt and break down animals, he knew how to woodwork and build furniture and fences, and he had worked on cars before as well. Becoming a furniture designer had been his ultimate goal, and Kennedy said she would look into if they had any contacts that could help him get an apprenticeship for that.
“Do you have your important documents with you?” Kennedy asked him. “We’ll need those for things like medicaid, Illinois drivers license, etc.”
Gage shook his head. “I only have my insurance card and ID in case of emergencies. I brought the rest with me, but the Mission President has them. He has my birth certificate, social security card, and my passport.”
“Those are all government documents, and thus belong to the government,” Kennedy pointed out. “And in some cases, you. He can’t keep them from you. We’ll get you legal representation to help you get that kind of stuff back.”
By the time they were done, Kennedy had Gage set up for a counseling appointment with a therapist and an appointment with a psychiatrist to see if he needed any sort of help with medication for depression, his clothing sizes so she could bring some for him, and planned on sending over a lawyer for when he met with the Mission President and Bishop.
Kennedy came back the next day with a few bags of folded clothes and two pairs of shoes in Gage’s size based on what he said he would like to wear if it was his decision. It included pairs of jeans, shorts, soft t-shirts in solid colors, some t-shirts that had band logos and animal designs on them, a few button down shirts that included a few plaid patterns, work boots, and sneakers. There were also new packages of boxer briefs in black and dark colors, and socks in both white and black, and plenty of pajama pants and oversized shirts for bed. It was actually more clothes than Gage had been expecting.
She also told him that he was in luck because the leader of the Silas Foundation knew a few people in the area who made custom furniture thanks to the business he ran with friends, Table of Five. Gage was set up with a time in three days to meet with a man who owned a furniture store in Chicago named Beachwood Creations.
She handed a bag to Gage with woodworking tools and a few pieces of wood for him to work on carving to show his skill level to Xavier Wellington III, who owned the store. It was a beautiful set of woodworking tools, and they looked like they had been taken care of over time. Gage ran his hands along the handles of them, wondering how many people had used it before him.
Jarek remained supportive without being obtrusive through all of this, busying himself with class, studying, and generally tidying up around the house. He gave positive comments about the new wardrobe and was happy to fawn over the new tools with Gage, but he felt like this was Gage’s time. He didn’t want to take away from his self-discovery.
Gage spent the rest of the next two days sitting out on the patio in the backyard carving the wood. There were a few smaller pieces, which he carved into small animals in various poses, and two large pieces of wood that he carefully carved into fox bookstands. He chose foxes because it made him think of Jarek. He even walked over to a hardware store to get a few sanding squares and a dark cherry wood stain for the foxes. They turned out beautifully and Gage brought all of them inside once they had dried and put them on the table for Jarek to see when he got back from classes.
Gage looked nervous when Jarek came into the house and put his backpack down. “I think they’re all done and ready for tomorrow. What do you think?”
The two foxes were set in different poses, with one playfully batting at a butterfly while the other was sitting regally in place and looking up with a butterfly on its nose. The other small carvings were of an otter that was standing on its hind legs looking around, a cat sniffing at a rose, a penguin sitting on an egg, and finally a cartoon-like statue of a cow. Gage had used a lighter mahogany stain for the smaller animals with little touches of a darker brown stain to highlight details.
Jarek looked them over appraisingly, his face serious as he flipped his imaginary scarf over his shoulder and peered down his nose through his nonexistent spectacles. “Young man, what do you think the artist was trying to say with the theme of these pieces? Ob-viously they were intended to represent things individually, but what can they tell us about the process?”
Gage laughed at Jarek’s impersonation of an art critic. “I think the theme is all about playfulness, which maybe the artist has never been allowed to do before.”
“They all look amazing!” Jarek said, kissing Gage on the cheek and taking a photo or several with his phone.
Gage beamed at that, smiling brightly and blushing while he accepted the kiss from Jarek. The next day, Gage was up before Jarek was, getting dressed and packing up the wooden carvings to head over to the furniture store. He left early so he would have the ability to walk there without hurrying himself or getting too sweaty.
Xavier was waiting for him and showed Gage to the back of the store, into what looked like a warehouse set up to make the furniture. He instructed Gage to set out the carvings on the work table and explain how he used his tools to make them. Gage didn’t find it difficult to explain to the man how he had gone about doing the carvings, and he spoke passionately as he went. Xavier looked them over closely, checking every single detail with critical eyes. He never said anything out loud, which was nerve wracking to Gage. Finally, Xavier set down the last one he was looking at and gave a nod of his head.
“What types of materials have you worked with before?” Xavier asked.
“I’ve worked with multiple types of wood, concrete, granite, and fabrics such as leather and suede,” Gage replied.
“Have you worked with resin before?” Xavier asked him.
“No, but I’ve wanted to,” Gage commented.
With a nod of his head, Xavier showed Gage to some of the current works in progress, explaining what he was trying to do with them. He gave directions and set Gage to work on finishing certain aspects of each piece, wanting to see how he could handle the fast paced work. He left Gage in the back to do that while he went back to the front of the store to work with customers. A few hours later, Xavier came into the back to check on how Gage was doing.
Gage had finished everything that Xavier had asked him to do, at a good pace and with care. Xavier checked over every single element to make sure it was done well before he gave another nod.
“The store opens every day at nine AM, and we generally close around five PM, though people working in the back sometimes get here as early as six and sometimes leave closer to eight depending on the work that day. You’d be working in the back mostly, making the furniture. I’ll help you in areas you don’t know as well. I pay my workers a living wage here in Chicago, and if you agree to be full time, it comes with benefits. Health insurance, life insurance, dental and vision. What do you think?”
“Is that a job offer?” Gage asked to be sure.
Xavier grinned at him. “Yes, it is. Do you want it?”
“Yes, I definitely do, sir,” Gage replied, unable to hide the smile.
He promised to bring Xavier his paperwork once he got them back from the Mission President and they would start his employment. Gage practically skipped back to the house, he was so happy. Jarek was gone when he got back, so he showered and then worked on making a simple dinner of chicken and rice for when Jarek got home before he had to go to work.
“Guess who is no longer freeloading off of you?” Gage asked when Jarek came into the house.
“Wait, someone was freeloading off of me? I thought you were paying me in sexual favors…” Jarek said with a sleepy grin as he sipped his coffee and poured a cup for Gage.
Gage smirked at him. “That’s true, but now I’ll be able to pay for my own bills, like my phone and such. He said I have to get my papers back from Mr. Hartman though, or else we can’t set up my employment. Luckily, we’re supposed to meet with him and the bishop tomorrow. Kennedy said my lawyer already sent a letter informing him that he had to give me all of my papers back.”
Jarek winced in sympathy. “Be ready for them to have ‘forgotten’ or ‘lost them’,” he said regretfully. “They’ll do whatever they can to keep control over you for as long as they can. If you can convince them to give you just one document back, take it. You can always get the rest by yourself after that, though that’s by far the hardest way for things to pan out.”
“I know,” Gage said as he sat down. “I’m hopeful but also expecting the worst. If I can just get my birth certificate, then the social security card is a simple replacement. The passport I can report stolen. The birth certificate will take the longest though. They said they would be here by two PM by the way.”
“What time is it?” Jarek asked, squinting myopically at the microwave clock.
Gage looked at his watch. “Six PM right now. So we have less than twenty-four hours. I asked them to come in the afternoon since you work tonight.”
Jarek smiled and patted his cheek. “You’re a good boy. Want to hit the gym with me? You don’t have to pay for anything. You’ll be my guest,” he offered.
Gage melted a little at the first sentence, looking content. He brightened at the offer too. “I’d love to. I haven’t been in one in a while. I love any way I can get all sweaty with you.”
“Go get ready, while I gather myself mentally,” Jarek said, smiling to himself while he hid it with a sip of his coffee.
Gage agreed and then went into the bedroom to get dressed for the gym. The clothes were ones he had bought while out in Chicago to be able to do his physical therapy in. Sitting on top of his dresser was a smallish blue box with a bow on it and a hand-calligraphed card with his name on it. Gage gingerly picked up the box and card, turning it over in his hands before he sat down on the bed and opened the card first.
“May this gift bring music to your life like the music you bring to my soul,” it said in beautiful script.
Gage smiled at that and put the card to the side so he could open the present. Inside he found, nestled within a white tissue paper bed, a chunky metal and glass mp3 player and wireless bluetooth headphones. He looked toward the door as Jarek leaned against the doorjamb. “I prefer to know my music player is there, so I got you the chunky one in case you decided you didn’t like it. It’s got a 256 gig micro-SD card and 32 gigs of onboard storage. It does video and audio playback and audio recording, in case you discover that you’ve got a beautiful singing voice. It’ll playback for up to 70 hours, too,” Jarek said, all in a rush as if trying to sell him on the gift.
Gage took it out of the tissue paper to get a feel for how much it weighed and then smiled over at Jarek. “It’s amazing, thank you. I’ll need to start looking up new music. I think most of the music we played at home was Mormon in some way or form, though I’ve heard enough pop and rock at school. I’d like to listen to more though.”
Jarek smiled. “I wanted to get you started, so I pre-loaded my playlists. There’re several of my favorite albums on there, all the way from oldies recorded in the 1900’s to modern music,” he said, still sounding mildly apologetic. It occurred to Gage that he may not share this much of himself with people and may feel insecure doing it right now.
Gage got up from where he was sitting, the MP3 player still in his hand, and came across the room to kiss Jarek. “I love it, thank you. I can’t wait to listen to the songs. I can’t put into words how much this means to me.”
Jarek smiled, “I’m glad you like it.”
When they got to the gym, Gage put the headphones in and turned the MP3 player on to play music while he warmed up by running. It was an eclectic mix of music, but Gage found that he really loved most of the songs that he heard during their workout. They took some time to shower the sweat off back at the house before Jarek had to go to work.
Gage sat down once he was gone to look through how to get his birth certificate and passport sent to him if he had to go that route, still listening to music, before he laid down to read a book for a while. When Jarek got home from the club, he found Gage asleep on the couch with the book laying open on his chest.
Jarek smiled at his sleeping form before taking a shower and getting his shorts on. He came back into the living room and gently picked up the book. He bookmarked the page and knelt beside the couch. Jarek gently brushed his fingertips over Gage’s brow, brushing back the forelock sitting there. Jarek considered throwing a blanket over him and leaving him to sleep in peace, but he didn’t think Gage would want to face the meeting tomorrow after having slept on the couch all night.
Kissing him gently on the forehead, Jarek quietly and soothingly called Gage’s name. All of the little touches and his name being said made Gage stir and open his eyes, looking up at Jarek like he couldn’t quite figure out where he was for a moment before it clicked and Gage smiled. “Hey, sleepyhead. You fell asleep on the couch. Wanna come to bed?”
“Yeah,” Gage replied and sat up. He let Jarek help him get standing and followed him into the bedroom. Jarek was usually pretty turned on from dancing all night but Gage had started noticing that it seemed to correspond more to whether or not Gage made it out to watch him dance. Tonight, he simply stripped Gage down for bed and held him sweetly, expecting him to fall back to sleep quickly.
It took a little longer to fall back asleep, though, as his mind kept racing about what tomorrow was going to bring. Part of him wondered if he shouldn’t have met with the bishop and Mr. Hartman at the church or something, but Jarek had mentioned that it wasn’t the smartest or safest choice. He couldn’t picture them trying to go to extreme lengths, such as forcing him to stay or forcing him to go back to Utah, but he was willing to listen to Jarek’s worries there to make him feel safer.
Jarek had a class in the late morning, and then Kennedy showed up with Gage’s lawyer, Lucia Oliver, and the two founders of the Silas Foundation, Jeremy Thayer and Jimmy Sparks, who Gage found out were married to each other. Gage let them come into the house while they waited for Jarek to get home.
Jeremy explained that he normally let the people working the foundation in the city do the work on their own, but Gage’s current case could turn much bigger if his family and the church tried to make it so, and thus Jeremy wanted to be there to deal with any backlash that could happen. The LDS Church wasn’t one Jeremy had dealt with yet in the Foundation, but he’d fought against people getting away from Catholic families and Church of Christ ones as well.
“What, am I a legal liability to the Foundation?” Gage asked.
“No, not at all,” Jeremy replied. “Churches like this will sometimes do whatever they have to in order to get their members back in line, though. Families within churches like this will do so as well. I can handle whatever your family or church might say about my foundation and what we are doing, but I wanted you to have the best representation and help that we could get you just in case.”
“Do you really think my parents or the church might try to pull something?” Gage asked them.
“Always consider and expect the worst angles and then you can’t be too surprised later,” Jeremy replied.
“That sounds like it comes from experience,” Gage commented.
Jeremy just smiled but didn’t reply to that, which was all the answer Gage really needed. Jimmy sat forward and started trying to prepare Gage for the types of things that the bishop might try, though Gage could tell that most of his experience with the LDS church was mostly second- or third-hand. He stopped when he noticed Gage’s attention begin to drift and said, “Okay, I admit I don’t know much about the LDS church, but I do know religious types. Can you tell me some things that they might try so I can be prepared?”
Gage considered that for a moment, turning over in his mind things he had seen done before in the church and by Mission Presidents. They could use the fact that he was now the oldest and only boy in the family against him, as girls always left their families to make new ones. They could also use the fact that his way in his mission was originally paid for by his aunts and uncles and parents, and some of the church members who believed in him, and that he owed them back the money or to finish what he started or go home now that he was doubting.
The church could also threaten them with his entire family shunning him. For most people in the church, people or things that were more or less out of sight were out of mind. He had watched it with three of his own cousins who moved away to live with their mom in another state. The only time the family seemed to remember they existed was when they visited their father, and no one put a lot of thought into them anymore, though Gage always wondered what they were up to and how they were doing.
Worse than anything, though, was that they might try to act like Jarek was a predator who preyed on a weak and innocent Gage by leading him astray, and that one he could definitely see happening.
“My brother just killed himself,” Gage added after he explained all of that. “So I’m sure they’ll bring up my mental state. It’s still very new right now, and it does have something to do with why I left, but it’s not in the way they will try to portray it. I left because Craig made it clear that if I didn’t release myself from my family’s expectations, that I’d wither the same way he did. They’ll tell you he claimed he was bisexual, so he was able to make a better choice, but it’s not much choice when they are making you leave the person you’re in love with, is it?”
Jeremy and Jimmy exchanged a look that said they could understand exactly what Gage meant. They all offered condolences on his loss and while he was sure it was heartfelt, Gage just wasn’t feeling very receptive to it just then. He said as much and they all nodded knowingly. Just then, while everyone was no doubt trying to come up with a way to break the uncomfortable silence, Jarek walked through the door. “Hey everybody!” he greeted them, “Get your game faces on, there’s a car out front with a whole pile of people in it.”
Jarek disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared in completely different clothes and smelling amazing just as the doorbell rang. Gage cleared his throat as he got up, like he was trying to calm himself a little bit and went over to open the door. Mr. Hartman was the first person he saw standing there, followed by the bishop of the nearest church to where Jarek lived, which happened to be a bishop Gage had only met once. Bishop Aaron Hawley was just starting to get some gray all through his hair, and he was looking at Gage with an amiable smile on his face though there was some tension there too. These were the two people Gage and Jarek had been expecting. Tate stood not far behind them, which was a surprise to Gage, but not an unwelcome one.
What Gage wasn’t prepared for was to see his dad, mom, and sister Kayla standing behind those three. Gage stood there stunned for a moment before Mr. Hartman cleared his throat to get Gage’s attention. Gage moved aside and turned to look at Jarek and the people from the Silas Foundation with a look that said he was suddenly terrified.
Neither of Gage’s parents had his beautiful blonde hair or green eyes. They both had brown hair, though Gage’s father, Arthur, was starting to bald while his mother, Valerie, had her curly brown hair down to her shoulders. Valerie was a heavier set woman who was far shorter than her children, while Arthur towered above even Gage. The man was easily six foot five, and made like a brick house of a man. He was muscled but had a bit of what looked like a beer belly and he smelled of tobacco.
Kayla was just a few inches shorter than Gage, standing around five foot ten, with long dark brown hair that reached down to her mid back. It was just slightly wavy and very thick, and she had the same brown eyes as her mother. She had those eyes narrowed at her brother now, like she was looking at some gum on the bottom of her shoe.
Gage looked outside once they had all come in, as if he was expecting someone else, before he turned to his family. “No Addison?”
“Addison is still so young,” Valerie said to him. “She doesn’t need to see her brother like this…”
Gage stared at her for a moment in shock. “Addison is engaged to be married, and an adult. It should have been her choice.”
“Don’t you back talk your mother!” Arthur growled, making Gage go silent.
Gage turned away from him and walked over to where Jarek was, unable to handle being barked at by his father, and told everyone they could sit down in a flat, almost dead tone of voice. There had been some folding chairs brought out to make sure there was enough seating. Jeremy, Jimmy, and Kennedy sat on those, leaving most of the nicer seating for the others. Lucia brought one of the folding chairs over to sit right next to the chair Gage sat down in, showing that she was specifically there to represent him.
Jarek sat on the arm of the chair Gage was in, taking Gage’s hand in his. Arthur glared at the two of them but didn’t say anything while Valerie looked like she was about to cry.
“To start off with, do you have Gage Belford’s papers?” Lucia asked Mr. Hartman.
“I gave them to his father,” Mr. Hartman replied.
Lucia blinked at that before laughing in surprise. “Gage Belford is an adult, and thus the papers should be under his possession. The birth certificate, social security card, and passport are all the property of the government. You can’t just hand them to whoever you please.”
“I gave them back to his parents, who have had them under their possession and protection long before they were given to me for safe keeping,” Mr. Hartman explained. “He can get them back from them.”
Gage looked at his parents, and Arthur spoke before he could even ask about it. “I will give them back to you once we’re all back home in Utah.”
Jarek cleared his throat. “Before we continue, I must insist on a point of order. You see, this is my home, and as such I determine what is allowable here. While I appreciate all of you meeting us here, I will not tolerate homophobic behavior or language. The offender will be ejected immediately and will not be allowed reentry. Secondly, as this is my home, what I say; goes. I will brook no argument.”
Everyone nodded their agreement, though Arthur looked very unhappy and Kayla rolled her eyes but stayed silent.
“I think those are rules we can all abide by,” Jeremy said finally. “Thank you for the use of your home. We’ll all show the respect it deserves.”
Gage squeezed Jarek’s hand in thanks and then looked at his dad. “I appreciate that you are doing what you think is right, but I’m not coming back to Utah. I might be willing to travel back for Addison’s wedding, but it would include a return ticket back to Chicago.”
“That’s unacceptable,” Arthur argued. “It’s your home, where you belong with your family, and you cannot just cut out on your mission and run off doing whatever you please.”
Jimmy spoke up, “Legally, yes he can. And not to belabor the point, but you cannot keep his identification documents away from him as he is an adult and those are government documents.”
Valerie piped up, speaking directly to Gage as if Jimmy hadn’t said anything. “Gage, you’re not in your right mind right now. Craig just died, and it’s understandable that you feel adrift and anxious, but this isn’t the right direction to go in. I think deep down you know that. We love you and want to get you the help you need back home.”
“You’re acting like I’ve had some sort of psychotic break or something,” Gage cried, getting up to start pacing between the chair he had been sitting in to the end of the chairs they had set up and back. “I was gay before anything happened with Craig, and I knew it. I was just too afraid to admit it.”
“You’ve dated plenty of women!” Kayla argued. “And I saw you getting…” She paused here, glancing at their parents before looking back at Gage and speaking quieter. “I saw Farrah going down on you in the car once…”
“Did you miss that Farrah and I broke up not too long after that?” Gage asked her, ignoring the shocked faces from his parents, the bishop, and Mr. Hartman. “Every time I’ve tried to be sexual with women, it hasn’t worked out well. Almost like I’ve been gay the entire time!”
At this, Bishop Hawley coughed and then said, “I understand that you are having doubts in the church right now, and in your path within the church. That is not the time to be talking to people outside of the church though. It is a time to speak with your bishop, your companion, and God. You should be praying for guidance and seeking guidance to ask your questions and calm your doubts with us.”
“I did do that,” Gage interrupted him as he sat down next to Jarek again, his voice cracking. “I prayed for weeks and weeks, I read the Book of Mormon for guidance, I looked through the Bible. I went to forums on preparation day to speak to other LDS members who have dealt with similar issues. And I read the CES Letters.”
Mr. Hartman’s face twisted from its neutral look to one of disbelief and disgust. “Those letters would not help someone in your situation right now.”
“Maybe not, but it sure was enlightening,” Gage replied.
Bishop Hawley shook his head in dismay. “I am afraid of the road you are going down, Elder Belford. You are risking your soul here on earth and in the afterlife. Do you not want to be with your family when you die?”
Gage was silent as he thought about that implication. “I’m not sure I believe it, to be honest. So I feel indifferent to that. Your church’s prejudices are why my brother is dead. He wouldn’t have killed himself if you all didn’t oppress him and try to change who he was!”
Valerie gave her son a look that showed just how heartbroken she was by that statement, and Arthur looked furious. Kayla stared at Gage with wide eyes, but Gage noticed Tate in particular, who was standing behind where Mr. Hartman was sitting. He was looking at Gage in surprise, but he looked proud of his friend for saying that.
“He only started acting this way after meeting you!” Arthur said to Jarek, like this was all his fault.
“Excuse me, Mr. Belford, but that’s not true,” Jarek said, brushing aside the accusation easily. “You have no idea what has occurred here and your assumptions are ugly, sir. The reality of it is that I have not tried to challenge his faith in the least and have been nothing but supportive of him as a person since the day he first set foot on my porch. Furthermore, I was the one who insisted that he get his infected leg checked out at the hospital when Mr. Hartman and his cronies told him it would be fine.”
“The doctor at the hospital said it would have turned septic if we left it,” Tate added, which earned him a glare from Mr. Hartman. “Big infection, could have lost his leg and life. You know. Nevermind.
“Elder Caldwell,” Mr. Hartman warned, and Tate gave a placating smile as if he was going to shut up now.
“We made a mistake when we didn’t have you come home right after Craig died, but we’re here to correct that mistake now. Come home, we’ll get you into the right mental health care that you need, and we’ll figure this out as a family,” Valerie appealed to her son.
“I’m not going back to die like Craig did,” Gage replied.
Jimmy watched the discussion as it devolved into this dramatic display before speaking up again, “So are you refusing to surrender Gage’s government identifications to him, as requested and as required by law?”
“I am his parent, and I will give them back to him once he is home,” Arthur reiterated.
“Once again,” Jimmy nearly interrupted. “Gage is an adult, so your status as his parent no longer matters, in this or any state, with regard to returning government property.”
Arthur had a stony expression on his face but finally he nodded and said he had to go get it from the car. Kayla followed him out while Valerie tried to reason with her son for why going back to Utah was the best course of action. Gage just kept repeating that he wasn’t going to go back just to become a prisoner like Craig was.
Jarek stayed quiet, preferring not to get involved in family politics so long as everyone was respectful and followed his established rules. Besides, while he had done some research on what the LDS church was like, he did not feel prepared to argue intelligently about their beliefs as an outsider. Jimmy appeared to be on the edge of his seat as he watched the door for Gage’s father to return.
It wasn’t Mr. Belford who returned though, but Kayla with someone who looked like an EMT and a cop. Jarek stood immediately and placed himself between the cop and Gage. “Folks, the meeting is over, please leave my home now. You included,” Jarek said, pointing at the cop. “You were not given admittance to my home by a resident here.”
“My brother is in a mental health crisis and needs medical help,” Kayla cried.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Gage cried out as he stood up and came up behind Jarek. He wanted to scream in his sister’s face but Jarek was shielding him with his body.
“We just want to speak to Gage Belford for a moment,” the cop explained. “We got a call that he was a danger to himself and others.”
Jeremy was also on his feet now and shaking his head. “I don’t believe that’s a good idea.”
This was when everything devolved into chaos, and things seemed to happen faster than Gage’s mind could keep up with. More cops entered behind Kayla, who helpfully moved away to let them in. The people from the foundation were kept away while Jarek was forcefully pulled away from Gage while he told them in a loud voice that they weren’t allowed in his residence. Gage only had enough time and forethought to tell Kennedy to record the interaction on her phone before he was pulled away and out of the room towards the front door.
Somewhere in the ruckus, Tate slipped outside the back door and ran for the front yard, stopping at the side of the house long enough to figure out where everyone was before he slipped around to the car they arrived in. Tate was glad that Gage’s dad was over where the cop cars and ambulance was because it meant the car was unattended. Mr. Belford had used the identification papers to show who Gage was and then put them haphazardly back into his briefcase, and Tate grinned when he saw them there.
Gage didn’t try to fight the cops at all, letting them lead him outside with both of his hands up to show he wasn’t threatening anyone while Arthur explained his son was in a mental breakdown and being brainwashed by the owner of the residence.
Jarek leaned over and told Jimmy that it may be a good idea to push the issue on that restraining order they had discussed. “You know I dislike weaponizing the police, especially after what they’ve done to our community, but it’s necessary,” Jarek pointed out. Jeremy was in agreement with that.
Lucia had gone off ahead of the others, yelling at the cops to let her client go and that they had no right to take him from his residence like this. The cops only let go of Gage once he was seated in the ambulance that had come. The EMTs were asking all sorts of questions while checking his blood pressure, which was high right then, his heart rate (also high), and his temperature.
“Excuse me a moment,” Jimmy said calmly to the nearest police officer. “How are you so certain that that man is Gage Belford? You asked for no identification and you are going completely off the word of people who are intruders onto private property.”
“We were given a description and saw identification from his dad,” the cop replied.
“I see. That identification was stolen, sir,” Jimmy continued, writing down the officer’s badge number and name from his uniform. “These people are members of a dangerous religious cult and are using your authority to attempt to kidnap Mr. Belford. I strongly suggest you prepare to see us in court.”
“A cult? Preposterous,” Mr. Hartman grumbled.
The cop seemed unimpressed with the threat but they could hear Lucia’s voice cutting through some of the noise. “Mr. Belford is in out-patient treatment right now for depression, anxiety, and possible C-PTSD. Hospitalizing him just puts him at the mercy of the very people who have contributed to that. I will be happy to call his psychiatrist and therapist to aid us in making sure he stays out of in-patient care.”
“Do you feel like harming yourself or anyone else?” one of the EMTs asked Gage.
Gage clenched his jaw as he looked over at where his father was, because he did, in fact, feel like punching his father in his smug face. With a lot of control and effort though, Gage shook his head. “No. I have only ever considered hurting myself before, but have never acted on it and do not feel like doing that now.”
Lucia got Gage’s doctor on the phone and, with Gage’s permission, she spoke to one of the EMTs in order to come to a compromise. Eventually, Gage was allowed to leave the ambulance with the promise that he would be going in to see his psychiatrist the very next day. Gage wasn’t against it, either, because he was shaking with anxiety and anger. When they let him get up, he rushed across the grass toward Jarek, just wanting to feel safe again.
Jimmy quickly rounded on the police. “And now that you see that their allegations were false, Sergeant, would you mind seeing to it that they return his property to him?”
Tate came walking over to them around that time, slipping past some of the cops and Kennedy until he was standing next to Jimmy. The cop turned to ask that Arthur hand over the documents, but Mr. Belford refused, saying this was a family matter and he could have them returned once he was home.
“Luckily for Gage, he is home,” Tate replied and pulled the birth certificate, social security card, and passport out of his pocket and handed them to Jimmy.
Jarek, meanwhile, had stepped forward and caught Gage in a bear hug, to the cheers of some of the neighbors, who had gathered on the edges of the property at the sight of the ambulance and police cars.
Jeremy took the papers from Jimmy and handed them off to Kennedy, who he told to get Gage and Jarek inside the house. Mr. Hartman was trying to reprimand Tate, but Tate ignored him, walking over to join Kennedy while flipping off the Mission President.
“I think this meeting is over with,” Jeremy told the bishop and Mission President. “I’d suggest you get off this property. The cops are still here and I’m positive the owner of the home would be happy to have you trespassed if necessary.”
“One of my charges is still on the property,” Mr. Hartman cried. “I can’t leave without him.”
They heard Tate call out from near the front door, “Get fucked, old man!”
“I believe Mr. Campbell is also an adult who can make his own decisions,” Jeremy pointed out with a smile that was anything but warm and friendly. “If something changes with his choice, you’ll be the first to know. Until then, leave.”
Jeremy didn’t wait for any of them to agree. He turned around and put his arm around Jimmy so the two of them walked back into the house together and shut the door behind them. Jeremy locked the door and when he came into the living room, Gage and Jarek were on the couch together with Gage resting his forehead on Jarek’s shoulder. Gage was still shaking and his hands were in fists that were clutching onto Jarek’s shirt.
Jarek was petting Gage’s hair soothingly and murmuring to him about how proud of him he was. Jimmy, who had followed Jeremy into the room, looked at Jeremy and smiled affectionately, nodding in their direction. Jeremy put his arm around Jimmy, smiling at the two because it reminded him a lot of them many years ago before they created the foundation.
When Gage calmed himself enough to be able to focus on anything other than Jarek, he turned to look at Tate. “That was a big risk you took. What about your identification papers? What about your dad?”
Tate chuckled at that. “My dad won’t bother to come out to try and collect me. He’ll assume that I’ll fuck around here in Chicago, fail miserably, and then come crawling back in a few years. I’m going to shock him by not doing those last two parts. As for my papers.” He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his birth certificate and social security card.
“How did you manage that?” Gage asked, sitting up in surprise.
“Remember that family that had that big supply of fireworks?” Tate asked Gage with a laugh, and only continued once Gage nodded. “I was around when your parents came in and were given your papers. Mine were in the safe too, and I knew that. So I added a bunch of fuse and made sure it was going to go off when the safe was open. There was too much chaos for them to notice me slipping them out.”
“Did they not suspect you?” Gage questioned.
“No, because I was in the room for a good fifteen minutes listening to them talk when everything happened,” Tate explained. “They likely didn’t think about adding fuse wiring to it. I’m sure he’ll put two and two together soon though.”
“You didn’t have to do this because of me though,” Gage replied.
Tate sat down so he was right across from Gage, looking him in the eyes. “Yes, I did. I have met so many people in this church because of my dad. People of all ages, sometimes different races, all different types of income. You are the only person I’ve met though that has looked at me and said I wasn’t a lost cause. Out of hundreds of people, it was only you.”
Gage swallowed hard, trying to blink back the tears that came to his eyes again. “Well, go on,” Jarek said, nudging Gage ungently on the shoulder with a wink, “Invite him into the room for a threesome.”
That broke the tension that had been through the room since the cops came in, with everyone laughing.
“No threesome,” Gage said after he stopped laughing. “But, we do have this second room with a bed I haven’t actually been using, you know.”
“And here I was just telling your family that I hadn’t been corrupting you!” Jarek said in mock-surprise.
“What they call corrupting sometimes is just introducing new things,” Gage replied with a wink. “If this is corruption, you can keep doing it though.”
Tate pretended to gag, and the others laughed while Jeremy looked at Jimmy with a glint in his eyes as if he was thinking through something. He motioned toward Tate with a questioning expression. Normally, the Silas Foundation only helped people in the LGBTQIA+ community as that was their specialty, but he seemed to be asking if they should make an exception this time with Tate.
Jimmy shrugged. “I mean, they do say the A in LGBTQIA is for Ally…” he said with a smirk, knowing full well that’s not what it meant.
Jeremy chuckled at that, and then asked Kennedy if they could start a file for Tate so they could get him some help as well. Kennedy seemed more than happy to do so, and started asking Tate in what ways she could help him now that he was settling in Chicago. Once she had all of the information she needed, Jeremy went back to the front door to check that the cops, ambulance, and Gage’s family and church leaders had left.
With that, they left the three of them alone there. Gage let Tate borrow a t-shirt and shorts to lounge in and go to sleep in before Jarek and Gage went into the master bedroom to strip down to shorts and snuggle up against each other.
Gage needed to feel Jarek against him, solid and real, for safety and security that night. He would deal with this mess more in the morning, but for now he was exhausted and needed to be in Jarek’s arms.
[zilla_likes]