A gay story: Unknown Love Ch. 04 Jamie Flint*
Life just gets away from you sometimes. I don’t know how to explain any other way. My father used to tell me that a man has to be reasonable when it comes to his expectations. “You’re not gone be President, boy. You’ll be lucky if you get a job making thirty five grand a year. You best learn to make do.” As much as he was and is a bastard, the man had some points worth remembering.
Still. What’s life if not a long hallway full of doors. You pick a door and see what happens. No matter what, you have to live with the consequences. Some doors shut after you’ve opened them, while others hang open till you close them. That’s how I viewed Gavin at this point. His inevitable returns always brought with them good sex and heartache. The first almost covered for the last.
I felt like my head was going to melt. Not from the hangover either. I’d been drinking more, something Alex was all too happy to let me know. He was staring a hole in the side of my head while I tried to watch the TV.
“If you’re just going to do that until I crack or something, you can quit now.”
He kept staring. I could see his head shake out the corner of my eye.
“Why do you keep doing this? You know how—”
“You’re right, I do. So leave me alone about. Nothing you say is going to be something I haven’t thought about fifty times before.”
I turned to look at him, just in time to see every chord in his neck tighten up. Alex wasn’t a violent man. I’ve never been scared of him physically. Emotionally however, he could make you feel like you were a piece of shit with just one look of disappointment. Avoiding those looks is easier than I had first thought. Just make him angry.
“Enjoy your shows.” He said, grabbing a jacket as he stormed out the house.
Alex had been extremely irritable in the month and a half since Gavin returned, who had apparently been staying with an aunt in Florida this time. He’d been snapping at me for no reason. Whenever Gavin was over, either Alex would leave or invite Kyle over.
Kyle seemed to be the only constant in my life at the moment. He provided a buffer from Alex whenever the Bulldog wanted to fight with me or Gavin. Gavin would egg Alex on every chance he got. I wanted to stop the arguing. Just didn’t see any way I could. Kyle apparently did. Whenever they started up, he’d change the subject. At first, Gavin didn’t noticed how Kyle was playing them. Now, he sneers whenever Kyle tries to help. I told him to be nice to Kyle. Alex is more than fine fighting over petty bull shit. He can hold his own with Gavin. Kyle wouldn’t hurt a fly, physically or otherwise.
A vibration drew my attention. Gavin had texted me, as always. He wanted to go out to some stupid little fancy restaurant that had just opened in the next town over. I knew what that meant. Slacks, jacket, and tie were all required, as well as hair gel. I’ve always kept my hair a certain way. Sides and back shaved to the skin, with the top stretching down to my eye when straight, slicked back when gelled. I don’t mind gelling it, but Gavin has always wanted me to cut it shorter and spike it. It’s one of the few things I’ve never bent on.
An hour later, we’re in line at this place, which is packed to the brim.
“I can’t believe you would wear those pants.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth as he said this, a habit of his I can’t stand.
“What is wrong with these pants.” I held the material between my fingers, thinking maybe they were stained.
“It’s the spring, James.” I cringed. Only my father called me James. “Those are clearly winter pants. Just look at the material and the color.”
“Is navy not allowed in the spring?”
“Not with me it’s not.”
I didn’t say anything. Wouldn’t matter what I said anyway.
A nice hostess sat us in a booth. The booth was in the middle of the wall. Gavin wanted a corner booth and was quietly seething as the waiter walked away to get our drinks.
“Why the hell would they put us here? This is clearly the worst seat in the place.” He rubbed the booth seat with one hand while twirling a fork with the other.
“The place is crowded tonight. I don’t see any other places they really could have put us.”
“Don’t make excuses for them, they should have—”
“Would either of you nice gentlemen like to try the house special tonight?” The waiter had returned without a sound. Then again, it was hard to hear footsteps on carpet over the usual cacophony of a business restaurant. The waiter was looking at me. Before I could answer, Gavin chimed in.
“No thank you. I’ll have the grilled salmon with French dressing on my salad. He’ll have the broiled tilapia with French on his as well.”
The waiter looked at me to confirm, to which I gave the barest of nods. I could stomach a lot of things without complaint, though I really didn’t like fish, or salad for that matter. I couldn’t help thinking about Kyle for some reason. Of all the times we’d been somewhere, the only time he told me anything about the menu was if the place had something weird they served, like buffalo burgers. I wouldn’t mind a buffalo burger right now.
We spent the next fifteen minutes talking. I’m sorry. What I meant to say was he rambled on endlessly about some lady who cut him off in traffic, as well as some other shit I didn’t hear. I tuned out after five minutes or so. Kyle is always easy to talk with. Or be quiet with. Or just be with.
“Did you even hear me?”
My head snapped up. “What?”
I know he was about to start in on me. Thank god for that waiter. He filled up my tea while Gavin glared across the table at him. Gavin’s phone went off. While he answered whoever had texted him, the waiter looked at me, raised his eyebrows, and nodded his head ever so slightly towards Gavin. I rolled my eyes and mouthed ‘You have no idea.’ He shook his head and walked away.
When our food came, Gavin really tried to make an ass out of himself. Sometimes, I think he is trying for some obscure record. The waiter had laid our food out, stopping before he left to ask me if I needed anything else. I’m sure he was going to ask Gavin the same thing, for his head had already started to turn towards him after I’d shook mine no. He wasn’t quick enough.
“I’d,” he said with a lot of emphasis, “Like a refill as well as for you to quit trying to chat up my man.”
I felt my face getting read and I could see the guy about to chew Gavin out. There is something about watching someone trying to hold their temper in check which makes me want to laugh. If the situation had been different or perhaps occurring at another table, I would have. As it was, I wanted to see if there was a way to blend into the booth. The man stormed off after a few seconds of visibly restraining himself from murdering a certain small man in a high priced suit.
To say the dinner was tense is like saying grizzly bears don’t make good house pets. The waiter practically threw Gavin’s diet coke down before storming off. I wanted to rip the grin off Gavin’s face so bad I though I actually would. I could see the headline already. ‘Local gay couple thrown out of new eatery. Proof of a destructive lifestyle?’
My fish sucked. I can’t stand the taste of the ocean. That’s what my father always called it. I’d asked him why catfish tasted that way once, since they were river food. “Quiet boy. Eat.” The only fish I like is crappie, and that’s just cause it has an honest name.
The waiter brought the check out. Normally, I’m betting he would’ve taken a few dishes away. Not this time. When he said, “Thank you sirs, and have a lovely evening.” He never once looked at Gavin. I went to look at the bill. A hand slid over my shoulder. I looked up to catch what could only be called bedroom eyes from the waiter along with a wink. I was stunned to the point where I couldn’t even talk. Not that I could’ve. Gavin immediately started calling him a son of a bitch. I’m sure he would’ve caused a scene if I hadn’t told him to go warm the car up with a chuck of my keys while I paid the bill and used the restroom. He left with a huff. I shit you not. An actual huff, like some god damn Victorian Princess. Upturned nose and everything. I was fuming.
I didn’t go to the bathroom. I found the waiter. I had already paid with a card. I shook his hand with a twenty. That’s called a Baptist handshake around here.
He looked down at the bill in his hand.
“Dude, you don’t need to tip me that much.” He looked torn between handing it back and keeping it. I’m sure it’s one of the largest tips he gets with the cheap assholes around here.
“You earned every cent my man. I can’t apologize enough for Gavin.”
His face lit up with anger. “Pardon my asking, but why the fuck are you with that guy?”
“It’s a long complicated story.”
“Well start a new chapter. This one’s not working for you man.” His eyes lit up. “How did he take my little bit of flirting?”
I laughed. “I thought he was going to come kill you.” We both had a chuckle.
“I figured. I made sure to hide in the kitchen. I did it just to piss him off.”
“I figured. You’re not even gay, are you?”
He looked surprised. “Not at all man. How’d you know?”
“Call it instinct or gaydar or whatever you want. I just knew. I’m pretty good at that.”
“Impressive. Look, I’ve gotta get back to work. Here’s my number,” he wrote it down on his order pad and ripped it off. “Text me and we’ll hang. Just do me a favor, make sure he’s not around.” I laughed.
“Will do…”
“Nathan Garnett.”
“Jamie Flint.” We shook hands.
When I got to the car, Gavin was just as hot as the inside of the car. He didn’t give me one second’s silence before starting up.
“I can’t believe,” He can’t believe a lot of things. “That piece of shit had the gall to flirt with you right in front of me. He doesn’t know who the fuck he’s messing with…” it went on like that for what felt like ever.
I checked my phone when it vibrated. Kyle texted me, asking if I wanted to hang tonight.
“Who’s that?”
“Kyle.” I mumbled.
“Why is he texting you this time of night?”
“It’s eight thirty on a Friday.”
“That little midget better not get any ideas. I’ll make the emo boy even sadder than he is.”
Some things are guaranteed to set me off. I know of them and always take measures to avoid them when I see them possibly coming up in conversation. I found a new one that night I hadn’t considered before. My blood went from cool to lava in a second.
“You don’t talk about him. Say whatever you want to about Alex, but the next time you say anything even remotely negative about him will most certainly be the last.” I pointed my finger in his face.
“Oh what, is he your little bitch now?”
“Pull the car over.”
“What?”
“I SAID PULL THE GOD DAMN CAR OVER!”
“NO! We’re on the highway!”
“Gavin you pull this car over before I grab that wheel and take us into a tree.”
The car came to a sudden, jerky stop on the curb. He turned to say something to me. I cut him off.
“You lose my number the second I get out this car. If you call me again I will personally finish what those baseball players started all those years ago.”
“Baby, you know I love you—”
“DON’T!” I couldn’t help the way my eyes filled up. I shook my head to clear it. “Don’t even start that shit Gavin. I’ve heard it too many times before. We ARE done. No more half assed apologies, no more calling me after six months of not so much as a hello. This should’ve been over long ago. Well it is now. Get out of here before I really lose my temper.” I slammed the door as hard as I could. The car sat there for just a moment before he kicked up rocks peeling off the shoulder.
I texted Kyle. Alex was clubbing, plus I already knew Kyle was free. I asked him to pick me up at a fire house just a mile and a half up the highway. It started to rain just as I was entering the fire house’s parking lot. The lights inside were all off. It was a volunteer crew after all. They only showed up for functions and fires. I stood under the awning above the entrance.
Thirty minutes later, Kyle’s little Honda pulled in. He was looking around the lot, head moving on a swivel. Cute. I stepped out the shadows, though he didn’t see me till I was almost to the door. The door locks shot up just as I reached for the handle.
“Nice weather we’re having.” He said. It was pouring down
“Real frog strangler. Thanks for coming to get me man. I rode with Gavin.”
He grimaced while looking down the highway as we pulled out.
“I take it that’s over.”
“For good.” I said.
“That’s good.” He muttered.
It was quite for a while.
“We’re hanging out tonight.”
I stared at him, more than slightly shocked. Kyle was never presumptuous. Never had I ever heard him say something even close to that. He always asked to come over, even when he knew I didn’t have anything else on.
“Fine by me.” I said after I recovered. “Just stop off at the liquor store.”
A nod was all I got in response. Silence is so underrated. If I was with Gavin right now, he’d have to tell me every little dipshit thought which happened to dance across his brain. Kyle knew the worth of peaceful silence.
We were in the store for all of five minutes. I always got the same thing whenever Gavin had been through me like a tornado through Kansas. The biggest bottle of Johnnie Walker Red they carried, the one with the milk jug handle. Kyle grabbed a liter bottle of Smirnoff Watermelon Vodka and sat it on the counter with mine along with a big plastic bottle of strawberry daiquiri mixer. Once again, I was shocked by his unusual forwardness. Kyle would usually have sorted out what we were getting, as well as price, in the car before we came in. I tried to read his face. Some fancy liquor behind the counter had his attention.
“I.D.?” The man behind the counter said. I usually don’t get carded. I guess Kyle made him want to be on the safe side. My little friend didn’t look old enough to be out of high school, much less in a liquor store. We both showed our cards, to which the man looked like he thought for sure Kyle’s was a fake. He let us go though.
This new Kyle had me thrown a bit. Sure, he slid me thirty bucks when we got in the car, which I declined, but it was still unnerving.
He pulled in behind my truck, throwing his door open before the car had stopped.
“Ready to get sloshed?” I asked.
“Oh yeah. Gonna kick your ass in Madden too.”
“You wish.”
Kyle set the Xbox up while I put the liquor in the freezer, the mix in the fridge. We had enough Mike’s left over from a few weeks earlier to hold us over till the good stuff got cold.
I watched his perky little ass from the kitchen archway. Doesn’t do any good to want what you can’t have. Don’t hurt to look though.
“We good to go?” He asked over his shoulder?
“You know it.”