“Reed are you on speakerphone?” Seth asked coming out of his office. “Brad, what are you doing here?” Seth’s gaze flicked over his boyfriend then to me and back. I couldn’t read his eyes.
“I came to take you to lunch lover,” Brad wrapped his arms around Seth’s waist and leaned in for a kiss. I turned away then, maybe if I didn’t see it, it wouldn’t hurt.
“Um, okay, let me get my coat,” Seth said. When I looked back up they were walking hand in hand to the front door. “Reed, I’ll be back in an hour okay?” I didn’t say anything and he didn’t wait for it.
I picked up the phone and called my mother.
“Honey what’s wrong?” she asked after our hellos.
“I need to find a new job,” I said before I burst into tears.
*******
Things where vastly turning black. Every time Brad would show up to take Seth to lunch, which was every day now, more started to fade from my vision. Mom said that I couldn’t let something like Seth having a boyfriend get in the way of my job, that I should be a professional. But I didn’t think I could last much longer having to deal with Brad’s perfect-ness. It was driving me nuts. It wasn’t only that he was dating someone who I like very much; it was the fact that he seemed to always have to prove he was better then me every time I saw him.
“That’s a nice watch, where did you get it?” Brad had asked the morning I decided I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Oh, thanks. My brother got it for me at a state fair,” I smiled. I had seen it, the watch, and fell in love. It had a thick lather band with a silver start sewed in it and a square face. It wasn’t usually my taste but I had wanted it so bad Wes asked the woman to wrap it up for me. It was one of the many times I was “between jobs”.
“Oh, state fair? That’s cute,” He flashed me a glimpses of a thick silver Rolex that lay on his wrist. Why the hell would someone pay that much for a watch? You could go to Wall-Mart, buy one for ten dollars, and have it tell time just as well. But, I guess, if I had a lot of money I would buy things like that too. Maybe.
I grabbed at the hair on the back of my head, something I had been doing often lately, and tried to calm my nerves.
“So, why haven’t I met your boyfriend? Doesn’t he ever take you to lunch?” I looked up and smiled, trying not to show how much that comment had hurt. Even when I did have a boyfriend, none of them came to take me to lunch. I hated that he gave me another reason to feel unwanted.
“Someone has to watch the place while your out with Seth,” I said and tried to ignore him by doing work that I didn’t really have.
“I don’t think Seth would mind, I could always bring some food here I guess. I must admit I have wanted to try out his desk, if you know what I mean.” Brad was evil; I could tell by the way he was laughing at his own joke. I was having a hard time believing he was only joking though.
I stood and walked into Seth’s office. He had been on the phone when Brad got here, and seemed to still be on it. Seth took one look at me then told who ever it was that he really needed to go.
“What’s wrong?” he asked and moved to me. I put my hands up to stop him; I really didn’t want him near me.
“I would really like to get everything out in the open before I leave.” I said and leaned up against the door, just in case Brad tried to come in before I was done saying what I had to say.
“Out in the open?” Seth asked and sat down on his desks top.
“Yeah. See I have liked you sense I first started here. I never thought that you would feel the same way so I just kept my feelings to myself. Then last month you asked me out. Do you know how happy that made me? How totally ecstatic I was that you would want to go on even one date with me?” I brushed my hair out of my face then grabbed some at the back of my neck before continuing. “Then, the next day, you acted like it never happened. And okay yeah, I was hurt, but I guess it was my fault for having gotten my hopes up. But that isn’t okay Seth; you can’t do that to people. It’s wrong to play with peoples emotions as if they don’t matter.
“I thought I could deal with this whole you and Brad thing, but I can’t. I’m tired of him making me feel like I’m less then him. And I’m tired of watching you with him. I know I should be a grown up, just do my job or whatever, but I can’t. I’m quitting, and I’ll be done here by the end of the day.”
“I don’t know what to say Reed,” he said. I looked up to find his eyes at his hands. How about I’m sorry? How about I’ll kick Brad to the curb for hurting your feelings? How about I need you to stay?
“That’s okay,” was all I could get out. Maybe my politeness had started because I was scared of confrontation. I was scared of what else he was going to say, and saying “its okay” would magically make him not say things I didn’t want to hear. “Anyway, Brad’s waiting to go to lunch with you and I have to finish some things.” I opened the door and come face to face with Brad, who was smiling like the villain he is. “He’s all yours,” I said and moved back to my deck.
I ignored Seth for the rest of the day, which I’m sure he didn’t notice. I made arrangement for one of those temp girls that Seth hated to fill in for me till he could hire someone on permanently. It took most of the day to get all my stuff out of the desk and the rest of the office. After three years stuff does start to pile up though I guess. After I throw out all the useless crap that was only taking up space in the first place, I had a single small box of things to bring home.
It contained only a few things. Toothbrush, day planner, CD’s, and other stuff like that. But I did find something that I didn’t remember bringing to the office. I had probably done it to show Seth then promptly forgot.
It was a five by six inch photograph of Seth and me from last thanksgiving. He had joined us at my Grandparent’s house for the holiday. We had been walking around the back yard, talking about work, when he stopped under a tree and looked straight up.
“This tree must be really old, it’s so big,” he said then looked back at me.
“My great-grandmother plated it when she found out that she was going to have my grandpa,” I informed and leaned up against the trunk. “I used to come out here a lot and try to clime up it. I can’t even reach the branches at my height now; I don’t know what I was thinking back then.” We laughed. I loved his laugh, so smooth and alive.
“Your hair is getting long again,” he said and tucked one of my locks behind my ear and smiling at me with his eyes. It seems that is when the picture was taken, when his fingers had moved across my cheek to move the hair. Wes had to have been a few hundred feet away when taking it, but the quality was so good it looked to only been a few feet. That’s what Wes did for a living, by the way, take photographs.
Today I was going to leave a little early. I didn’t want to talk to Seth right then, and if we left at the same time words would mostly like be exchanged.
I placed the picture down in the middle of my desk, along with me keys to the office, and left.