I expanded my range, kneading his arms to the elbow one at a time, working any areas that seemed tight. Then I followed his spine downward, rubbing the muscles woven around his rib cage, but not yet venturing to his flanks or the slight taper of his waist.
The next time I reached his shoulders, I kept going past his collarbone to smooth my hands over the hard plane above his pecs, and I was encouraged to notice that he leaned back a little, subtly inviting more touch. I left my hands flat against his upper chest, almost like a hug, and spoke softly behind his head.
“You’re safe with me, Julian. Just like I told you the first time I penetrated you. I would never intentionally cause you harm. Do you know that?”
After a moment he nodded, so I resumed rubbing stress from his body, focusing on the tender places around his throat and the joints where his shoulders met his chest.
I gave him another minute before my next inquiry. “Have you missed me?” I was afraid to hear the answer, in case it was no, but I was more afraid of losing this opportunity to reconnect.
“Yes,” he whispered, and he could have just been placating me, but by the way he was yielding beneath my fingers, I didn’t think he was.
“Can I kiss you?” I finally dared to ask.
In answer, he turned enough that I could reach his lips. I moved in carefully, but his kiss was much less constrained than the rest of him. He pressed into my mouth with something like relief, maybe even hunger, and when I tested with my tongue, he opened wider and met me with his own.
I moved one palm to anchor the nape of his neck, which seemed to escalate his craving. His lips and tongue began to devour mine, as if he’d completely forgotten that only this morning he’d avoided even looking at me. Our kisses had always tended to get smoky fast, and although everything else had gone wrong over the past two weeks, that apparently hadn’t changed.
I’d basically forgotten Avery was in the room by the time I let my free hand drift to Julian’s areola. His reaction was positive — it actually appeared to soothe him, to allow me to touch him there. He relaxed into the deft pleasure my oiled fingers cultivated, while we drank passion from each other’s mouths.
“I want to be with you,” I told him when I managed to come up for oxygen, my face still next to his. My chin rested at his shoulder, and my thumb kept caressing his nipple. Not necessarily to rouse him; just for the simple joy of regaining access to his private control system. “But I don’t think you’ll fully be able to let go of what’s been keeping us apart until you have nothing left to hide behind. So I’m going to tie you up, unless you tell me you’re not willing.”
He didn’t tense up or move away, which I took as a positive indicator. “How?”
I’d planned this out earlier. “Face down on the bed. Your ankles tied to the corners, not too far apart. Your wrists tied parallel above your head and attached to the headboard.” My rope skills weren’t advanced enough to try anything overly complicated. That position should leave him physically comfortable yet also completely defenseless. Particularly his ass, which he couldn’t fail to notice was the defining feature of my chosen setup.
There was a long hesitation, but in the end his answer was more disclosure than protest. “I’ve never been restrained that comprehensively, other than as an exercise when I was learning the practice.”
“I figured,” I told him. “But that’s what I want, and I think you can give it to me.”
His head pivoted to study me, and I saw anxiety in his intelligent gaze, but some other impulse won out. He relented with a single word, little more than a breath of air beside my ear. “Alright.”
I pulled his mouth to mine and kissed him again, slower this time. Lavishing him with the affection I’d been forced to withhold since LSDF’s attack; fortifying him for the challenge ahead. He was just as responsive as before — like his body recognized what he needed even though his mind kept trying to block him. We stayed in that sacred space a while longer, renewing our union until the sharpest hunger pangs faded and it seemed possible to release him again.
I’d been too preoccupied by his emotional state to think much about sex until now, but as I got the ropes out of their storage crate and watched him strip nude, my libido took a definite interest. I tossed the coils of twisted hemp onto the quilt, then I visited Avery’s side of the bed for a moment.
“Ok?” I checked, giving his curly head a quick caress.
“Mm hm,” he agreed.
I switched positions with Julian, taking the stool and placing him on the bed. First I bound his wrists, sliding the supple rope into cuffs that held them next to each other but with hands pointing in opposite directions. That would allow his arms to rest comfortably with elbows bent against the mattress instead of extending straight and putting pressure on his shoulders.
He watched me work in silence, and I glanced up frequently to monitor his expression. Voluntarily forfeiting freedom of movement is an extraordinarily intimate act, and so is the process of encircling a lover’s limbs with unbreakable cords. I had a front-row seat to the fascinating duel between desire and dread that was playing out on his face, as well as the blood slowly gathering between his legs. My own erection wasn’t nearly as ambiguous. Of course, I wasn’t the one about to be spread, immobilized, and violated.
“Everything feeling alright?” I asked when his arms were tied together. I’d been careful not to over-tighten any loops, sliding fingers beneath them to ensure no damage to his nerves or circulation. If he really worked at it, he’d have been able to loosen them with his teeth. But only until he was secured to the bed frame.
He tugged experimentally, and the conclusive demonstration that he was well and truly trapped in my bonds was clearly doing something to both of us.
“Yes,” he confirmed, swallowing hard against the dryness in his throat.
I gripped the length of cord attached to his wrists and leaned up to steal a kiss. It was dangerously exciting to taste his lips while he was bound, and he didn’t resist, nor did he seem to want to.
Then I knelt to fix knots above each ankle, and once again I had him examine my results for safety before ordering him to stand. I smoothed my hands down his still-slick arms and stared meaningfully into the sapphire jewels of his irises. He wanted me; I could see that. And god, did I want him. Yet we both knew our journey tonight was going to be much more difficult on his end.
“I’ve got you, Major,” I assured him. “I know you’re brave enough to handle this. Let me show you.”
He searched my face for another moment before relinquishing a nod.
“On your stomach,” I ordered, pointing to the towel I’d spread on his side of the mattress, and my pulse accelerated as he stretched out, folded arms lifting over his head. Avery stared too as Julian’s perfectly sculpted ass presented itself for my exclusive use.
“Open your legs to wherever they can be comfortable for a while,” I said next. My cock thrilled to the sight of his buttocks parting tantalizingly, the fragile globes of his testicles peeping from between his thighs.