I wanted to find a hole to crawl into and die. This was so private-so personal that I rarely even thought about it much less discuss it with anyone.
“I-I, uh, well-you know-“I stammered. I was grateful when he interrupted me.
“Oh my God!” he said. I saw a look on his face that told me he’d figured it out. “You don’t even touch your dick, do you? You lie on your stomach and grind it against the mattress, don’t you?”
He made it sound so dirty and depraved that tears welled in my eyes. My face was burning with shame.
“Sweetie, that’s how little boys discover their tiny dicks aren’t just for pissing…you never outgrew that phase, did you?”
I was vanquished. In a lifetime of embarrassing moments, this was by-far the worst. Knots formed in the pit of my belly. I thought I was going to be sick.
He took me in his arms and pulled me close. I hid my face in his chest. I held onto him for dear life. He tenderly stroked my hair.
“Sweetie,” he whispered in my ear. “That was your ‘old’ life…I’m going to help you…I’m going to teach you everything that a boy like you needs to know…”
Oh my God, there it is again-that phrase I’d heard so many times in my life-those words that caused me to doubt myself and make me feel as though I was different from other guys my age.
‘A boy like me’-what the hell does that mean?
“Sweetie,” he said staring intently into my eyes, “…I’m going to teach you to accept and embrace who you are…instead of feeling shame for your thoughts and emotions, I will teach you to be proud of who you are…”
I already know who I am-sure, maybe I’m not a ‘normal’ guy, but I’m certainly not the freak that he seems to think I am!
“…and we will work together on this…you will face your demons and you will conquer them-I will help you climb out of the darkness so you can live your life free from restraints and inhibitions and live openly and totally unashamed of the real you!”
Icy cold shivers ran up-and-down my spine. I couldn’t breathe. I was paralyzed with a fear I’d never before known.
HE’S CRAZY! WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m here for the weekend-three-days at the most. He makes it sound like we’ll be together forever!
I timidly searched his eyes for insanity, but saw only tenderness and concern. I shivered again…there was no doubt in my mind he was serious, but I had no clue or idea on how to react to his crazy words.
The intensity was too much; it felt like I was suffocating.
“I-I have to take a piss,” I said, which was true, and it would also put an end to this terrifying, deeply personal moment.
He lightly brushed my hair, kissed my forehead then took my hand and led me to the bathroom. He held my hand the whole way there.
I saw the toilet seat down so I reached to raise it.
“No, I want you sitting,” he said. “Sweetie, men piss or take leaks-a boy like you ‘pees.'”
Tears came to my eyes. WHAT IS HE TRYING TO DO TO ME???
I was naked, sitting on a toilet while a man I’d known for just a few weeks stood and stared at me. I lowered my head and let go a torrent of piss. This wasn’t real-I prayed to God this wasn’t happening.
Something to the right of me caught my eye. I looked over and saw a porcelain bowl, almost like a small urinal.
I heard Danny chuckle then he said: “That’s a bidet…do you know what it is used for?”
I slowly shook my head.
“My lovers squat over the bowl and wash my semen from their pussies…very soon I’ll be teaching you how to use it.”
Huh? What on earth is he talking about? His lovers use it to wash their pussies? I thought he was gay?
He suddenly said, “I’ll be right back, Sweetie-don’t forget to wipe when you’re finished.”
He saw the puzzlement in my eyes and explained.
“From now on, Sweetie, you will sit to pee…when you’re done, you will use tissue to wipe any excess urine from your pee-slit-do you understand me, Sweetie?”
This was too bizarre-this was so outside the realm of my understanding all I could think of saying was “I-I understand, Darling.”
Yes, John, this is crazy, I told myself when he left me alone, but you have to keep it together! You have to be mentally tough…he’s playing mind-games with you-just do as he says and play along and three-days will be over before you know it!
The vanity area outside the bathroom lit-up. Danny had the panties in his hands then placed them on the counter next to the sink.
I finished peeing, took two squares of toilet tissue and dabbed them against my slit. I stood, flushed the toilet then washed my hands.
I chuckled to myself, Sure, Danny-I’ll play along!
I was losing my self-consciousness about being naked. I stood beside him, looked at the pile of panties and saw the bar soap and generic plastic squeeze-bottle with what appeared to be laundry detergent.
I froze! My heart pounded as my body violently trembled and shook! My eyes grew wide; bells and whistles went-off in my head.
Then a voice was pleading; I heard it crying-begging for mercy. It was my voice:
“Please don’t make me do this, Momma-please, I’ll be good-I promise I won’t do it ever again-PLEASE MOMMA!?”
“Honey, it’s for your own good…you can’t keep taking our panties and using them for your own self-gratification…”
“BUT MOMMA-”
“Your sisters and I will never mention this to anyone-believe me, Sweetie, we’re all a little concerned- perplexed, by your, uh, unusual method of relieving yourself…”
“Please, Momma…”
“Darling, this is for your own good…maybe this will cure you of your problem…from now on, we’ll save our panties and twice-a-week you will stand here and wash them for us…do you understand me, Sweetie?”
“Sweetie, I asked if you understood.”
It was Danny’s voice. I hadn’t heard what he said.
“I, uh, huh? I’m s-sorry, Darling-what did you say?”
“I said, ‘twice a week you’re going to stand here and clean your panties’, now do you understand me, Sweetie?”
OH MY GOD-HOW COULD HE KNOW ABOUT THIS?? HE CAN’T-HE CAN’T POSSIBLY KNOW ABOUT THIS-RELAX-BREATHE-IT’S A COINCIDENCE!! HE DOESN”T KNOW ANYTHING!! OH MY GOD…
He stood behind me and wrapped me in his arms and kissed my cheek.
“Sweetie, you’re trembling…you’re safe here with me…don’t you worry your pretty little head about anything, I’ll take care of you, okay Sweetie?”
His words were meant to calm and soothe my nerves, but they had the opposite effect.
What is happening here? ‘I’ll take care of you?’ What does that mean? Why is he saying these things to me?
He leaned over me and plucked my red panties from the counter. He ran the smooth nylon over my chest; he kissed my neck and lightly nipped at my earlobe. My penis began rising. When he pinched my nipples my prick stood at full attention; he took the panties and wrapped them around my prick and slowly stroked my erection.
“You’ve been a good boy today,” he whispered in my ear, “…you deserve a reward…”
He removed his hand from my prick. I groaned in disappointment.
“Don’t worry, Sweetie, I’m going to give you the best orgasm of your life!”
He opened a drawer on the vanity and brought out a white case. He unzipped the case and when I saw its contents my breath caught in my throat.