A gay story: Filthy Man with a Pure Heart This is a true story, with some details (like names) being changed. It is about how I met my partner and about our relationship, it is sort of a memoir for me and it will probably have more chapters than this one. It isn’t that much about sex, it’s much more about how attraction between us developed but I still hope at least someone will like it. I am not a professional writer so keep in mind that it may not be highest quality writing.
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My name is Joseph. Currently I am 20 years old and I live in Europe. I am slim and of average height and I have brown hair. I am gay, have always been, but since I live in a not-so-open environment, I never came out.
Although gay, I never liked typically “handsome” men. I always preferred beer guts over muscles, hairy bodies over shaved ones and natural smell of sweat over perfume.
It was couple of weeks after my 18th birthday, and my friends and I decided to visit the bar we frequented since I was 16 for some drinks. It is a small bar in suburbs, often full of local drunks and bar fights are not rarity there. One of those drunks was handsome, but frightening looking man. He was 38 then, his face even when relaxed already looks really angry, he is fat, bald-headed with bushy beard and has a deep, authoritative voice. Always when I would pass him I would feel the smell of a man who isn’t keen on hygiene, but I noticed that his balding head is always neatly shaved. He would often join a bar fight, not asking any questions, just throwing punches and kicks. My friends just called him “Pig”, since we didn’t know his name.
Later in the night, I stayed alone with one of my friends who suggested that we go sit at the bar. Walking up to there, I realized that Pig is sitting in the corner and there are only two available chairs, right next to him, and my friend took one further from Pig. “Fuck”, I thought to myself but I sat down. Around half an hour later, my friend’s phone rang, and he said that it’s an urgent call about situation the night shift has in his company and that he will probably come back when he deals with it and to just wait him at the bar. I felt discomfort and bit of fear because of sitting next to Pig but I waited.
Soon enough, an already well known argument has started in a bar; an argument that most definitely leads to a bar fight, which just made my discomfort stronger. “Sit here. Change places with me”, an strong voice has said and beer-breath hit my nose. I couldn’t think of a reason why Pig would have wanted of me to sit on his place in the corner, but because of fear I complied. An expected bar fight has happened, and angry bar owner shouted at everyone to finish our drinks, pay up and go home. Exiting the bar I caught up with Pig:
– Excuse me, Sir… –
– I’m not “sir”. I’m Matt – he muttered angrily.
I introduced myself and continued with question:
– Why did you make me seat in the corner? –
– I don’t want some kid’s skull smashed on the floor next to me –
– That was kind of nice of you –
– I guess. See you around – he said and left.
What Matt did and the fact that he said “See you around” (I expected that he would actually say “fuck off now” or something alike) made me think of him in a different light. I started going to the bar alone and would sit at the counter, hoping that I would see him again. Next time he saw me he recognized me and we would start chatting every time we saw each other. He was still this big, violent brute and I had certain dose of fear of him, but on the other hand I felt protected when I was with him. He would also always listen to what I have to say, and even though there were things I was bit ashamed to tell him, he never laughed at me or teased me.
Matt and I have met couple of times when another bar fight occurred. It was so serious that ambulance had to pick one man and Matt said that he would have joined in if I wasn’t sitting next to him. Bar got closed very early again and Matt invited me to his apartment for some drinks and to chat. At the time I had a lot of problems at home with my family and I was happy that I had someone who listened to me. After explaining him the situation I was in, I asked him bit fearfully:
– Would it be fine if I hugged you? –
– Fine – he muttered and opened his arms
I put my face on his shoulder and pressed myself onto him, and surprisingly he closed his arms around me and put his hand on my head. I told him that I enjoy how he is warm and soft and his smell and he just said “good” and stroked my hair.
We stayed hugged for few minutes and I lifted my head so our faces would be close.
– Do you like it? – I asked.
– Sure – he said and paused for few moments. – I haven’t hugged anyone in years –
I kissed him on his cheek and returned my head on his shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind. We cuddled for some time and he burped close to me couple of times which I kind of find attractive and I started to realize that, despite my fear, I really like him, not only as a friend. I decided to try to show that to him, encouraged with the fact that he was okay with my kiss on his cheek.
I sat on his lap with my legs around him, so that we we’re facing each other. I put my forehead on his. It was very comfortable but I was still scared and I was shaking a bit.
– Why are you shaking? You are scared of me? – he noticed.
I didn’t know what to say so I was just quiet. After a moment he stroked my back and said:
– Don’t be – and gave me a small peck on my cheek.
– We’re you ever so close with a boy, sir? – I had to ask.
– No. You with a man? –
– No –
– Do you like it? – he asked.
– Yes sir –
– I don’t know what is to be liked about being close to me – he mumbled.
– Do you like to be close with me? – I asked quietly.
– I do. I like you, kid –
Alcohol and time was taking a toll, and soon our eyes started to close. Matt suggested that I sleep in his bed with him. He borrowed me one of his t-shirts and pair of shorts (both really too big for me) and he took off his t-shirt and pants and we got between sweat-smelling sheets. I have fallen asleep on his arm and he hugged me and it was most comfortable thing ever. I even found his snoring to be nice to me.
Waking up, I got really nervous. I thought that Matt wouldn’t appreciate to find me in his bed after sobering up, and I thought that he would get really angry and possibly hurt me. I decided to try to sneak out unnoticed. I did my best to slowly get out of the bed, but a voice thundered behind me:
– Where are you going? Lay down back with me –
I complied and got back to Matt’s comfortable hug. I was really happy that he wanted me to keep laying with him and that he didn’t get angry or aggressive like he usually does. I rubbed his big hairy belly softly and kissed his hairy chest. I noticed he started to breathe very deeply and that his boxers are tenting so I continued.
Suddenly, Matt rolls on me, pressing me with his fat body. He wasn’t hurting me, but I couldn’t move under him. I thought to myself how even when there is nothing to irritate him he looks and sounds angry and how I actually find this attractive. I smelled last night’s beer on his breath as he was getting closer to me. He put his slimy tongue in my mouth. The kiss was kind of clumsy, but it was still soft and passionate, which I didn’t expect from someone like Matt. We moaned very softly in each others mouth and he started to undress me.
– Want to come inside you – he said.
– Sir… please be gentle… –
– Of course, boy – and kissed me again.
He spat in his hand to lube his cock up and he really gently put it in me. It hurt but it was a sweet pain of giving myself to someone who I liked and started to love. He really wasn’t with anyone in long time as he came on my asscheeks and sheets very fast. He rolled off me, but hugged me tightly again. I was curious to what his cock actually looks like so I removed the sheet still covering us and touched him. I was examining his uncut piece of meat surrounded by dark hairs and decided to taste it. It tasted just like it smelled: dirty, sweaty, manly. Even though he came mere moments ago, he came again after just few minutes of me sucking on him. He was moaning quietly and occasionally snorted. He came in my mouth and on my face. I swallowed what got in.
Still between his legs, again fearfully I asked him if I may kiss him, since I just sucked him off. He just pulled me up, wiping my face with his hand and his slimy tongue was in my mouth again. My cock rubbing on his fat hairy belly was enough for me to cum. I wanted to cuddle more with him, but I was really supposed to come back home. He invited me to come visit him later in the day and I happily accepted his invite. I took a quick shower in his bathroom while he was watching me and as I was leaving he kissed me one more time. Walking home I still had his smell in my nose and was thinking about evening.
Hours until evening just kept dragging and I was pretty nervous with how things will go. I shaved my entire body thinking that perhaps sex and cuddling would be more pleasant to him, since he wasn’t ever with a boy before me. Whole time as I was walking towards the building where his apartment is my knees were shaking and my heart was beating as crazy. I contemplated giving up and just going back home but the wish to see him and to be with him was stronger. I pressed a button next to his surname on the intercom and instead of hearing his voice first I just heard a signal that building doors are now unlocked. I knocked on his apartment door and he opened them in his boxers, chewing on a sandwich.
– Hello, sir – I said.
– Mhhm – he mumbled with full mouth
– Sorry to bother you while you eat, I probably should have called you before I came – I said feeling a bit of guilt as I was entering his flat.
– What, you wont hug me? – he asked, ignoring what I said.
I hugged him and we sat on his couch. He offered me a bite of his sandwich and, even though I wasn’t hungry at all, I took it since I wanted to try eating out of his hand. He put final bite in his mouth and opened a beer for me. As he was about to open another one for himself, I asked him if we could drink out of the same bottle and he just murmured “fine”. I sat on his lap and felt that he is hard. I kissed him tasting the beer on his tongue and stroked his hairy face and he was stroking my back under my t-shirt.
– Take off your clothes – he said with commanding tone.
I stood up and started to strip. He was looking at me, his angry eyes now having a bit of lust in them. After I was naked, he stroked me all the way from my shoulder to my butt and said that I didn’t have to shave. That what matters to him is being with me, not if I’m hairy or smooth. He also told me to take off his stained boxers. I took them to my face and took a deep sniff as I was climbing back on his lap.
– You really like the smell? – he asked.
– Yes sir. I always liked the true smell of a man –
– Good. I’m too lazy to shower anyway –
– Would you shower for me today if I didn’t tell you that I like your smell last night? –
– I don’t know. Could be. But my little faggot likes it when I stink, doesn’t he? – he said and licked my face from my chin to my nose. We kissed and I was pressing myself tightly to his body.
– I want you inside me again, sir – I moaned in his face.
He picked me up and carried me to his bed. I realized that despite being fat he is really strong, since he is a construction worker. He almost threw me on the bed and on all fours walked over me until his cock was over my face. He stood above me on his knees and pulled his foreskin. I took his cock in my mouth and tried to suck it as deep as I can, my goal being not only his pleasure but also being able to rub my nose in his smelly bush. He told me to pinch his nipples too and just breathed slowly but heavy, quietly moaned and occasionally snorted. After minutes of sucking, he pulled the cock out of my mouth and lied on top of me, again not with his whole weight but just so enough that I can’t move and he kissed me.
– I won’t suck you. Men don’t suck cocks. But I will lick that hole of yours – he said as droplets of his spit hit my face and I agree with him. To this day I can’t imagine having my cock sucked by him. He is just too much of a man to do that.
He turned me on my stomach and spread my cheeks and started licking. His warm wet tongue and rough beard were driving me crazy. I thought he would be disgusted by that but he, being the pig he is, just kept doing it. He wanted to fuck me in doggy position, but I had to ask for my favorite:
– Sir, could you do it when I’m on my back? So I can look at your face? –
– You want this old ugly mug, ha – he said turning me on my back and getting on top of me again. He spat in my mouth. – You like the taste of yourself? Do you taste me too? –
– Yes sir… Do you too? –
– Tastes just like I would imagine a nice boy hole to taste – he said and kissed me.
This time he wasn’t gentle as he was in the morning. He just rammed his cock in my wet hole and started pounding me. When I would moan too loud for him he would shut me up either by covering my mouth with his hand or by kissing me. It was kind of painful, but it felt really good to give myself to him. His sweat dripping on me, his beer breath and his moans and snorts just made it so much hotter. On occasion he would also spit in my mouth or just let the spit slide from his tongue to my mouth and call me his “little faggot”. I know he wasn’t saying it to humiliate or offend me, it is just his weird little way of showing affection. He kept ramming his cock inside me until his head dropped next to mine, he grunted loudly and I felt warm fluid in my intestines. He took his cock out, sucked his cum out of my ass and kissed me.
Like that morning, he rolled off me but hugged me tight. He realized that he was a bit rough:
– Did it hurt? –
– It kind of did –
– I will try to be more gentle next time – he surprised me.
– No need to, sir. I liked it, every bit of it –
– I like to be greedy when someone is mine –
– Wish I was yours forever – I said impulsively and I immediately regretted it, because I thought this all was a little “fuck-trip” in his mind, but thankfully he said:
– We could try that –
– I wouldn’t like to share you with anyone else then, to be honest – I told him
– I don’t think you have to worry about that. No one wants a big smelly man except for one crazy boy – he said stroking my face with his thumb – I wouldn’t like to share my boy either – and after that answer I just had to kiss him.
I finally got what I always wanted. A man who I consider real man, just for myself. And he wants me back. And even though I even at this day look at him a bit in awe he makes me feel safe and loved. The man I thought once was a dirty, heartless bastard showed me that even underneath the sturdiest skin might be a soft, warm heart ready to give love to someone who needs it.