The Korean shrugged. “Wouldn’t be all that into them. These things weigh, what? Around a ton?”
“Muscle pussy is still better than none.”
Xane shrugged again. “Can’t even fuck so what’s the point of pussy?”
Goro hummed. “Your lack of imagination disturbs me.”
Xane gave his friend a look and Marcus tried to high five the tall guy without getting a response.
An especially broad Troll swaggered toward them. The creature had to move side to side on legs so massive he looked like he was seen through a funhouse-mirror. He had two-inch nipple rings and a nose ring tied to his bull ears with a loose gold chain on either side.
He wore an iron chain around his neck and one as a belt. Both looking far too heavy for Marcus to lift without godly powers. A few rune tattoos on his biceps rippled as he moved his arm.
Chay raised his hands. The language of greenskins, Troglo, was pretty straight forward, almost stereotypically caveman-like.
“Oogaloo Boogaloo,” Chay shouted and pounded his chest. Marcus and the others imitated him. This was his new favorite language.
“Rvebnar sent us!” Chay continued. “Steam is not reaching the proto-pitch hub.”
The Troll’s voice was like a normal man’s, making it seem high by comparison to the body. “Seal?”
Xane held up an illusion he’d conjured behind his back. A disk of two crystal snakes biting each other’s tail. Hrailoth hadn’t had a sample of Rvebnar’s seal so the Korean mage had only been able to use a reference drawing.
Chay dropped the money they’d taken from the Hellions into the Troll’s large hand as a ‘tip’. It was good enough to distract the overseer, but the green tinted super-hunk had open skepticism written all over his face. “Our Anemometers are fine.”
“If it were a simple problem,” Chay said, “we wouldn’t be here. We’ll check the secondary hydro-nacelles.”
The Troll took on a thinking expression. Then waved them to follow.
His package was huge. Marcus didn’t *like* noticing it, but it was the only clothed part on the Troll’s body. The black pouch could have held a football with room to spare and was clearly stuffed to burst.
“Don’t stare,” Chay whispered.
Marcus tore his eyes off the Troll as the super-hunk turned around, his bulging glutes trembling ahead.
“Hard not to,” Xane said. “Didn’t even look big on his frame but up close… Fuck, they’re *all* equipped like that.”
“Jealous or gay?” Marcus asked.
“Fuck off.”
Chay gestured them to keep it down. “We’re not here for dick measu- Fuck…”
The pantheon and their guide passed a trough.
Three Trolls, seven to eight foot tall, pierced and rune-tattooed, chain-hung, were pissing side by side.
Troll dicks had no riffling or extra bulges, just being veiny like a human’s. Their roughly eight inch length was impressive but not impossible. What made them insane was the circumference. All three Trolls cocks were shaped like stout bullets, as thick as they were long, eight inches *across*. Below hung a pair of balls to match.
Marcus had sat on a man’s dick yesterday and it had spread him severely. (It had also felt great while high on unicorn dust but he wasn’t going to mention that.) And he knew there were chicks, and homos, who could take whole fists but that felt kind of gross and gimmicky to him. Troll dick on the other hand were literally impossible to take. No way a human ass or pussy would survive this.
“Note to self,” Xane whispered. “Don’t get raped by Trolls.”
“Promise me,” Marcus said, “if one of those things are about to enter my hole you just fucking kill me.”
Goro gave an amused grunt. “Who says you’re his type?”
Marcus huffed. “Not the moment to grow a sense of humor, dude.”
The pissing bull-man vanished from sight as they entered another cave where soul stones powered machines of heavy iron. Chain-link connecters, a furnace, leather treatment of some kind, water filtration… The working Trolls had their ridiculously wide backs to them.
Eventually they reached a large array of pipes – the pumps. Close to their real target.
“Good,” Chay said. “This could take a bit. We’ll find our way out.”
The Troll shrugged, his chains clanking. “I’ll check on you.”
He left them, just as they had hoped.
===***===
Rvebnar’s vaults was a secret even to the Trolls here. Their valuable industry was a convenient excuse for the Champion to keep security at the entrance tight. By sneaking through a side entrance to pass as emissaries of Rvebnar, the pantheon got access to the vault with nobody suspecting a thing.
A minute’s walk from the pump was a grate, covering a vertical shaft up. Difficult to ascend for anyone but demons — or demigods.
Once they were up, Xane lit the tunnel with an orb in hand. Marcus added his whitefire, making his faux-hawk ‘burn’.
“Here’s comes the challenging part,” Chay said.
They faced a dark brown surface clogging the corridor, veiny and slowly moving like a cluster of sloshing bags under a tarp.
The Creephorror — a colossal monster – caused dread in all who saw it and Marcus was pretty sure if they hadn’t been warned about it, he’d already be turning to run. He had goosebumps, although it didn’t look like much given his total lack of body hair.
Even the ever-composed Chay had to take a deep, slow breath.
“Okay then,” the leader said. “Ignore the dread sensation, it’s fucking with us but not that much.”
Goro grunted. Xane readied a bolt shimmering in every color of the rainbow. “Full spectrum blast ready, boss.”
“We killed things this caliber before,” Chay said. “Let’s add another. Go!”
Marcus had his chakram fly ahead and race across the pulsing veins in the creephorror’s skin. Red fluid leaked, looking just like human blood, which made it more unsettling than any of the actual blood Marcus had seen so far — or maybe that was just the dread speaking.
He was gripped by fear, his whole body quivering with the urge to turn and run.
A pseudopod shot forward, effortlessly stretching bleeding skin. The monster’s false arm with the diameter of a large melon grew bone-spikes as it zoomed at them.
Xane fired. Red blood splattered and bone shards clanked against the walls. The pseudopod had been shredded apart.
Chay was yelling his assessment. “Don’t bother with lightning or acid. Skin is weakest at the veins, hard to cut but easy to *tear*. Vulnerable to… what was that purple stuff?”
“Chaos?” Xane half-asked. “Difficult to make.”
At the word ‘tear’, Goro had rushed ahead and sunk his fingers into the blood. He ripped black skin, exposing more disorganized innards swimming in some kind of gelatin.
A bone shard the size of Marcus’ arm was ejected like a boomerang and slashed Goro’s bicep.
The berserker retreated for a moment and Marcus sent his chakram into the colossal monster to blunt any follow-up tosses.
The creephorror kneaded itself and the wounded part slid aside for fresh skin. Two shard-punctured pseudopods emerged and swung for Goro.
Marcus stepped in, arms pumped full of animus-magic. A hit of his burning fist sent the pseudopod into the ceiling and it retreated into the creephorror, while the other was pummeled by Goro.
A third ‘arm’ emerged, rushed at them and got stopped by Marcus’ fist-blow redirecting it up. He could give Goro a run for his money, his magic was just more about agility than raw strength.