Jack looked through his cabinets and pantry, a frown on his face. He turned to the freezer with another look of disappointment and let out a huff “well, I’m sorry to say that I don’t have anything that’ll compare to what you made last night. Sorry.”
“All I made was spaghetti” Luke laughed “it was far from haute cuisine.”
“Well, it was amazingly delicious. Best I can do is salmon filets and frozen vegetables.”
Luke smiled at him “what’s wrong with that? Frozen vegetables taste just as good as fresh… and I’m betting the fish will be fantastic.”
“I appreciate the vote of confidence.” Jack laughed.
“Well, you’re great at everything… I’m betting you’ll be great at pulling this together too.”
Jack reached out and wrapped his arms around Luke’s waist, pulling him close for a kiss.
“I wish I had as much confidence in me as you do.” his face falling sullen.
“You know, we talked about what Chris did to me… seems like Mike did a number on you too.”
Jack broke their hug and let out a sad little chuckle “yeah, I guess you could say that. He may be out of the house, but he’s always here” he tapped his head “always making me second guess everything I do or say.”
Standing at the freezer, Jack looked down at his feet – almost frozen to that spot “I feel worthless, you know? He could be a great guy when he wanted to, loving and gentle, but when he wanted to be bastard…” Jack trailed off.
This time Luke reached out and pulled Jack in for the hug.
“What happened? Was he that way from the start?” Luke looked pained at the thought of Jack willing to accept someone like that.
“No… no… he was a great guy. Well, at one time he was a great guy. Before he cheated on me… at least before I found out he cheated on me. I’d be naive to think that was the first time” Jack raked his fingers through his hair “I don’t know when the switch flipped, but little by little he just wore me down. Nothing I did was right. He’d fly off the handle if I contradicted him. He belittled me… slowly making me feel like nobody else would ever want me – he’d be the best I could do… what I deserved.” tears began to fill Jack’s eyes “I guess that’s why I tried to commit…” he stopped.
Luke held Jack tightly with one arm around his back, the other wiping away his tears. Jack had said enough of that last sentence for Luke to know the rest.
“Well you have me now. I hope I can make up for all the shit Mike put you through.”
“Oh, believe me. You more than have already.”
The guys talked while they waited for the oven to warm up. Jack furrowed his brow and stared into Luke’s eyes. They were the kind of eyes that were welcoming… beckoning. They made Jack think about things he never thought he’d think of again after Mike. A future with someone who might be able to love him back – who’d ‘want’ to love him back. Jack leaned into Luke and ran his thumb over his lips.
“So, I just have to ask again… I’m sorry… but is this moving too fast for you? It’s only been days but I feel like I’ve known you forever. Everything was so fast with Mike too…I jumped in with both feet and look where that got me. I don’t want to make the same mistake with you. I don’t want to end up hurting you. I’m just a little freaked out.”
Luke cupped Jack’s face in his hands “look, I’m falling just as fast as you are. This is new for me too.” Jack leaned in for a kiss “I waited a while before I got serious with Chris. I did all the polite, courting rituals my parents taught me to do. I followed her around like the dutiful little puppy I was expected to be” Luke kissed Jack’s forehead, continuing down his nose, eventually landing on his lips “I was a good boyfriend and look… nothing. She destroyed me. I don’t get that fear with you. Fast or slow, I’m ready to be in this all the way… If you’ll have me.”
Jack pulled Luke tightly against him… chills running down his spine when Luke nuzzled his face into his neck. He repeatedly reminded himself that Luke wasn’t Mike… but Jack thought of Mike every time he thought of his future. He had no romantic feelings for him, hell, he didn’t even miss him. He was afraid of hurting – like the mental and physical torment Mike dished out. Then there was Luke. The last thing he wanted was to wound him, he’d already been through that too. Jack didn’t know if either of them could handle that again.
“You know” Luke kissed Jack’s cheek “we have time to kill before that oven heats up. Care to, oh I don’t know, go upstairs?
Jack broke out a huge grin, laughing “Mr. Larson, are you trying to seduce me?”
“Maybe” Luke laughed back “is it working?”
Jack grabbed Luke’s hand and pulled him toward the stairs “Fuck yeah it’s working!”
–
Jack sat on the bed. Luke put his palms on Jack’s chest and slowly pushed him back, pinning him down. Jack’s back now flat on the bed. Luke crawled on top of Jack and slowly pulled himself up so they were now face to face. Jack could feel the hard mound growing down Luke’s thigh. Eventually, working a hand free, Jack snaked it down to stroke Luke through his jeans.
–
Jack gripped Luke’s neck and pulled him down for a kiss. Each of their open mouths fighting for control, tongues battling for dominance. “Shit, Luke… shit. Fuck me!” Jack begged “I need you to fuck me. Please!” The heat emanating from Jack’s body was palpable.
“Are you sure? I.. I.. mean… are you sure you want that from me? You know I’m not experienced with guys.”
“Yes, I’m more than sure… but if you’re not ready, we can wait. I won’t push you, but I can guide you if that makes you more comfortable. I just want you.”
Luke took a deep breath as his eyes began to get wet “I just don’t want to screw this up. I want this so badly.”
Jack reached his hand up and ran his fingers under Luke’s eyes, wiping away tiny tears that began to fall. “You set the pace, remember. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
“No, no more waiting!” Luke sounded sure and confident “I know I want this… I know I want this to happen with you.” Jack pulled him in for a kiss. This one wasn’t hot or lustful, but sweet and romantic.
“We’ll start where you’re comfortable.”
“I’d like to start with what you want.”
Jack smiled sweetly “I want you to fuck me. That’s what I want. I need you Luke… my god I want you so much. You take control.”
–
Luke quickly shed his clothes and hovered naked over Jack. As he tried to stand to undress himself, Luke forcefully pushed him back onto the bed. Jack looked at him stunned “what was that for?” Luke smirked, “did I say you could get up?” the slightest bit of a smile lifting the corner of his lips “I’m taking control.” He slowly began stripping Jack. First unbuttoning his dress shirt, laying it open exposing Jack’s bare chest – the smattering of light blonde chest hair standing on point from excitement. Luke licked from Jack’s navel, across his pecs, and gliding up around each nipple.
Jack threw his head back and moaned from Luke’s touch, his tongue now licking the side of his neck and back behind his ear. “Oh, Shit! Luke, fuuuuck” he dragged the words out in a long, breathy whisper. Luke ran his tongue across Jack’s ear, breathing warm, moist air inside. Jack closed his eyes, pursed his lips, and exhaled. Luke was teasing him almost to his breaking point “stop it! Damnit! Why won’t you fuck me already.”