“Let me tell you a story, John. Back when I was the head of the Marketing Department, we had a new guy named Michel. I knew there was something odd about him, it was how he talked like a woman sometimes and how he was generally flamboyant; gaudy and over the top you might say. I tried to pass it off as his native flavour, since he was from France, but I knew that wasn’t the case. Michel was a homosexual, and a lot of people in the department were bothered by his behaviour. It came to a head when he tried to have a relationship with one of our male employees.
“One day we all just came into the office dumbfounded because that male employee was quitting and filing for assault charges on Michel. It was as bad as you can imagine. It was quite a fracas at the time; the department was getting so much ridicule. I think the charges were dropped over time, but none of us were really sure anymore. In the years after that all of us were promoted or given new projects, and I became VP for corporate affairs. Thing is, Michel just stayed there in Marketing and was never picked for anything. Out of the blue I heard he was fired for no reason. It’s illegal to fire anyone without a reason, but I heard Michel just accepted it and vanished. No one ever came to his defence and the way the story goes, the new guys at Marketing were glad to have him gone.”
“Wh…why…are you..telling me this, dad?” John was trying his hardest to remain composed but he was miserably failing. He was certain now. His dad knew.
“John, homosexuals are treated badly by others. Being gay will make your life impossible. As your father, I want you to have a future. And for you to have a future, you need to be straight and proper like the rest of us.”
“What…are you tr..trying to say?”
“I’ll be frank with you, son. I know you and William have been experimenting with your bodies together. Anything sexual you do with someone of the same sex is homosexual. It’s gay. And it’s one big step closer to being gay yourself; to being like Michel.” Connor said gravely.
“But, dad! We-“
“I don’t want to hear it. Your reaction already makes you guilty. From now on, William is banned from ever stepping foot in our house. You are not allowed to go over to their house anymore either. You are not to associate with him and you will sever ties with him. I cannot monitor what you do outside the house, but I will be having a talk with his parents when I can, just to make sure you two stay apart. He’s a bad influence on you and if I let you boys be, he’ll turn you into a homosexual, I’ve no doubt about that.”
“Dad, NO! You don’t know what you’re saying! William’s my best friend! You can’t do this!” John half pleaded and half angrily shouted.
“Don’t talk back to me, John! That is my decision! If I get wind of you cavorting with William I’ll have you live with your aunt in Denver and I’ll have you transfer schools, is that clear?!” Connor said, raising his voice but maintaining the steely glint in his eyes.
John was getting teary eyed as he looked at his father with terror. Conner took it as a sign of confirmation. Sensing that John had nothing left to say, he left his son’s room in the same stoic manner. Before he closed the door he said, “This is for your own good.” From his tone, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
*************
It was Monday, and William walked along the school corridors trying to find John before class started. He hadn’t heard anything from John over the weekend, and he thought that as strange; they’d at least talk to each other online. He also wanted to regale his trip with Peter to his best friend.
He found John already on the way to their classroom, and he hesitated when they both looked at each other. John looked extremely miserable.
“Hey…buddy? What’s up?” William said apprehensively.
“Nothing much.” John muttered.
“Ookay?” William sensed the dismissal in John’s tone.
For the rest of the day, John was silent. William kept looking at him hoping to start up a conversation, but the younger boy just seemed despondent. It was increasingly awkward for William, especially since John was his seatmate. He thought back to when he was having his spell of depression two weeks ago and wondered if it was John’s turn to have one now. And if it was, he wondered what could have caused it.
When lunch came, William walked beside a still silent John as they went to their lockers and shelved their books before heading off to the canteen. William was getting annoyed with John and his silent treatment and resolved to return his friend to his former non-depressed self. “John, what happened to you dude? C’mon you can tell me.”
“I don’t think I can. “
“Why not?”
“I just don’t feel like it.”
“John.” William stopped the boy from leaving by grabbing his arm. “Bro, whatever it is, I want to help you out. Do you want to hang out after school so we can talk and stuff?”
“No thanks. I’m busy. Maybe you can hang out with Peter or whatever.”
“What? What’s this got to do with Peter?” William said apprehensively.
“Nothing. I mean you can find other people to hang out with if you want.” John said in a monotone.
“Dude, c’mon, what’s worrying you?”
“Well, for starters, I’m worried about our video, if it gets leaked and stuff. Do you have an idea who PBear might be?”
“Huh? Well, no. I mean He’s a dude online how am I supposed to know him? Besides I haven’t seen him online recently and, dude, I told you nothing bad’s gonna happen!”
“Will, there you go again!” John said accusingly. “You’re so sure of yourself but you don’t even know if you’re right! You don’t have proof that thing won’t be seen by anyone, but you’re not even worried at all! I have this suspicion that PBear is someone who knows you. But you don’t care! You’re even acting like it’s not a problem!” John hissed at William discreetly so that no one else could hear.
“John, wait…” William tried to hold on to John’s arm, but his grip slackened as John’s words hit its mark. Of course John was right, he didn’t have the slightest idea who PBear was, and now that John said that it might have been someone he knew…a sense of urgency filled him, the kind that he knew should have felt before. It was true that he didn’t really care back then; he wanted to trust PBear…perhaps he only wanted to because he didn’t know what else to do.
John shook off William’s hand and hurried to get away from him. William walked beside the young boy but then stopped when John faced him again.
“Will…please…leave me alone.” John whispered with sadness. William saw that John’s eyes were starting to get red, as if he was on the verge of tears. He let John go feeling hurt, confused and ashamed.
John went outside to the school grounds to get some air and to wipe his wet eyes. For now, he was at a loss. He was trapped between two problems, his father on one end and PBear on the other. As he walked on, looking for a solitary place to sit, he saw Johnson Masters being dragged to the far-off gym bathrooms by an older student. With his short, curly hair and with his toned looking arms…if John hadn’t known any better, he could’ve sworn the older teen was Peter McMahon.