At last Graham gave me relief. He took my arms down, moved from beneath my head, and bent to kiss me.
“I think you’re gonna like part two,” he told me, before turning his attention to my partner.
* * * * *
Julian:
Possibly for the first time ever, I worried I’d bitten off more erotic torment than I could chew. I didn’t undergo denial that often, it not being a particular kink of mine — not to suffer, anyway — and on the occasions that I did, my belief in my immunity to the kind of psychological manipulation I subjected Avery to had always been plenty to carry me through.
It turned out that my immunity offered next to no protection against Graham’s particular variant of domination. I’d always known that his insolent smirks and fearless banter affected me differently than any weapons other lovers had wielded. But after witnessing his cunning, exquisite, and extensive teasing of Avery’s sensitive body, I was quite uncertain about my ability to tolerate much more. And by the time I’d obeyed Graham’s commands to climb over Avery, push his legs back, and thrust my throbbing cock into his thoroughly heated back chamber, I was about ready to fold.
It was Avery, surprisingly, who read my escalating stress and lent his strength. I shouldn’t have needed it; the gods know how often I’ve coaxed my valiant husband into waiting far longer for release than he thought was possible. But I couldn’t access the logical justification for allowing this to happen when I was locked in a battle for survival with my primal craving for completion.
“Julian,” he interrupted, taking hold of my shoulders. Graham had left his hands free, on the condition that he didn’t touch himself. “Look at me.”
When I forced my focus to Avery’s face, he seemed genuinely concerned. “You’re shaking, and you look like you’re literally being tortured. Remember what you always tell me, and take a few breaths. I don’t want to do this with you if it isn’t fun.”
His suggestion was surely unreasonable. How could it be fun to experience this tormenting need all night and all day, while undergoing the most intolerably arousing stimulation? Nothing in the world made me more desperate to spill my seed than being in Avery’s ass. But if our roles were reversed, I would have expected him to cooperate, so I paused my motion, stared into his warm mahogany eyes, and took three tactical breaths.
In the slightly less charged space that opened up, it was easier to recognize I’d been on the verge of panic. I focused on my beloved’s hands at my deltoids, his abdomen rising and falling beneath me, and tried to remember there were facets of existence besides relieving the pressure in my balls.
“Hey,” he said, amazingly gentle for someone who’d just gone through intense exploitation and currently had my tool sheathed in his anus. “Do you want to stop, or do you want me to talk you through this? You know that whatever you’re feeling, you’ve made me feel a million times.” Avery offered a tender smile, and something else throbbed, this time in my chest.
My breathing still wasn’t that steady, but I managed to say, “I’m listening.”
“Ok. Well I’m just going to repeat things you’ve taught me, probably not as well as you. But when it seems like you can’t handle any more, that’s just in your head. If you give up the belief that there has to be a certain outcome, and you accept what you’re feeling in the moment, it should feel really good to be so excited and on edge. It does for me.”
He ran his hands down the tense swells of my arms. It was starting to come back to me — all the reasons I gave him for letting me torture him this way. Graham must have been nearby, but he didn’t interfere. I took another four-count breath and waited for Avery keep going.
“You love fucking me,” he reminded me unnecessarily. “And you usually can forever without coming. Try to relax and enjoy it. That’s what I’m doing, and you saw what he just did to me.” He paused as if collecting his thoughts. “You always tell me to let you decide what I feel, because then I get to experience a lot more pleasure than I could normally tolerate. And that’s true. So let Graham do that for you. Nothing terrible is actually going to happen if you have sex and don’t orgasm,” he concluded in a lighter tone.
Right. I did know that. It was just hard to believe, in the grip of this kind of searing need.
Avery stroked my arms again. “Relax, Julian. Like actually loosen your muscles. And slow down your breaths. It’ll help convince your brain that you’re not in any danger. It’s just me and Graham. No one wants to hurt you.”
It was surely what I’d be telling him to do if he were panicking, so I did my best to comply. I retained only the amount of tension I needed to stay suspended over him, and I focused on drawing my inhales out a little more. The exhales followed more naturally on their own. Gradually I grew less frantic, and more ready to appreciate the man spread around my cock.
Seemingly satisfied with my progress, Avery reached to brush my cheek. “You know you can talk to us, or use the safe words, if you need to.”
“I know,” I conceded, really wishing Graham hadn’t witnessed this mortifying lapse in composure.
I felt the captain move closer to my side, and I was ashamed for him to see me, but he just said my name softly and waited without touching me, until eventually I gathered the nerve to look over.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly, reminding me of the first time I’d tied him up. I was bound now, in a way — by the acute need I wasn’t allowed to relieve, and by his placement of me in this most frustrating of all positions. When Graham had been trapped and helpless, he’d trusted me with both his physical and his emotional vulnerability. Surely I could manage the same for these two men who’d been so generous with me.
I nodded, and he guided my face in. His lips were sweet and reassuring; nothing like how he’d been with Avery in front of the women last week.
When the kiss ended, Graham’s tender fingers brushed the cropped hair layering the back of my skull. “It’s good for your husband to see you’re human like the rest of us,” he told me, still gentle and intimate.
It was all quite a bit beyond what I was equipped for: too much intimacy, too much humanity, and too much nakedness that had nothing to do with my exposed skin. But I let him have it anyway.
His hand moved to smooth my shoulder blades, and his voice turned more sultry. “He’s right, you know: if you really give me control, I think you might be surprised by how amazing we can make you feel. And in any case, it’s going to drive Avery wild to experience me edging you.” He changed direction to follow my spine downward, and with my knees wide around my husband’s body, suddenly it was the nakedness of my ass that seemed most glaring. “Isn’t that worth a little delayed gratification?”
Little was a gross understatement. Unbearably comprehensive was the phrase that came to mind. But I knew from my long experience in the dominant role that it was entirely possible to enjoy erotic deprivation. If my partners could both do it, surely I could find the place they went to, where the loss of control became arousing and the intense need exhilarating.