“Get these assholes up to C block and lock them down. I want them out of here first thing in the morning,” said the CO. The boys left holding up their pants with one hand and holding up Alex with the other. Crossing the courtyard from Administration to C block was like running the gauntlet again to Aaron. There were hundreds of men in green uniforms standing around, and as they passed, Aaron felt like he was being visually raped.
The boy’s cells were on the third floor in “special housing”. The boys would sleep that night with inmates who were being driven crazy by prison or those who would be murdered if they were in the general population. One by one, the boys entered their cells and were told to stand there facing the wall away from the front of the cell until they heard the door close behind them. The last order the boys got from the guards was to “drop your drawers and kick them out of the cell. If you want to hang up, do it at Elmira, not here”. said the guard.
AARON’S FIRST NIGHT
Doors never just close in prison, they slam. They slam with a loud bang and then the noise reverberates for a few seconds afterward. It’s made to be that way to remind Aaron of exactly where he was: in hell.
Once the door slammed shut, Aaron turned and looked at the cell. It had a small table attached to the wall and a seat. It had a flat metal bed also attached to the opposite wall with no sheets, blankets or pillows. It had a metal toilet with no seat and no toilet paper. That was it. Aaron knew that this was the same thing all the other boys were looking at too. He sat down on the slab in a fog. He was in a nightmare, and it didn’t stop. It hadn’t stopped now for more than 4 months for him and he didn’t know when it was going to end. There were no tears; he didn’t have any left inside him.
“Hey kid!” the man in the cell next to him said. He looked up and could see a man’s arm reaching around from the cell next door and he was holding a mirror in his hand. “Kid, don’t be afraid, come over here and I’ll give you some stuff from the commissary” he said. “I can’t hurt you”. Aaron hadn’t eaten since that morning and was hungry and thirsty. If he was to get anything to drink, it was going to have to come from the toilet bowl, so he got up and moved closer to the arm. When he got closer, the man’s mirror moved up and down. At one point, Aaron could see part of his face, but most of the time, the mirror was too low for his face to come into view. The mirror was locked onto Aaron’s genitals and he knew it. The boy covered his body with his hand and asked him if he had anything to drink. “I’ve got soda and milk and some chocolate bars if you want to have them, but it will cost you” he said. “But I don’t have anything,” Aaron said. “I’ll give you the soda and candy kid, you just have to stand there while you’re eating it.” Aaron knew that what the man wanted to do was to look at his genitals. His throat was burning and he agreed. He passed Aaron the soda and the boy drank it as the mirror moved up and down in the man’s hand. Aaron could hear him jerking off in the next cell. Aaron finished the soda and the man asked him if he wanted another one and a chocolate bar. The boy was starved and still thirsty. “Yes,” said the boy. “OK, you come over here to the corner and let me touch your dick and balls and I’ll give it to you,” the man told him. Aaron thought about it. “I won’t hurt you kid and I’ll give you the soda and candy while I’m touching you.” Having someone touch Aaron’s genitals was nothing new to him. Being in jail for 4 months, he had been molested and raped more times than he could remember by some of the older boys there, by trustees and by guards.
Being around sex was common by now for Aaron, the last time he was in an elevator in jail he was with Conner when the trustee stopped the elevator in mid floor and told Aaron and another boy there to turn around and face the wall while the man dropped Conner’s pants and sucked Conner off. Conner said nothing, this happened to him several times a day. At 9, it had been going on for 7 years.
Aaron figured he had little to lose. The worst thing that could happen was that the man would get close enough to him and choke him to death. Aaron wondered how long that would take. “OK,” said Aaron and he moved into the corner next to the wall. The man reached back into the cell with another soda and bar of candy and took his hand back out and sat down. Now he reached back into Aaron’s cell and found what he was looking for. Aaron wasn’t particularly interested, but the man’s stimulation was making the boy erect. Aaron hated that, because it always meant that the other person would think that Aaron liked being touched. His body was doing something he didn’t want it to and he didn’t know how to stop it.
The man rolled Aaron’s testicles around for a little while and then slowly made his way towards the boy’s anus. Aaron was still very sore back there and pulled back as the mans fingers reached it. The man knew that Aaron could withdraw completely and told Aaron he would just touch his dick. Aaron moved forward again. “Turn sideways kid and I’ll jerk you off while I jerk myself off,” the man said. Aaron turned. The man started slowly, but as he neared orgasm his movement accelerated on Aaron. Aaron knew it would stop when he climaxed, and not before. He wanted the man to get up to the “stroking speed” that he was taught in jail. Aaron concentrated on stiffening his penis. The man took about 2 minutes to make himself and the boy climax and Aaron was thankful that he came just after the man did. “Wait just a second kid,” and the man withdrew his arm and brought it back a few seconds later. He dropped another chocolate bar on the ground and asked Aaron if he could have one more little feel of his balls. Aaron turned towards the front and the man’s hand found his testicles and rubbed them all over. The boy felt wet in his scrotum and moved back away to look down.
“Thanks kid, my name is David, David Berkowitz, maybe you’ve heard of me?” “No sir” the boy said. “I’m the Son of Sam! Ever hear of me?” “No sir” Aaron said. “That’s OK kid, it really doesn’t matter, but hey, just for your own information, I have AIDS, so don’t drink any of that scum I rubbed on your balls OK? I just put it there to help them grow a little.” Aaron stared down at his crotch. He knew from the boys at the Albany County jail who had already started to cum and made him suck their penises that what he was looking at was really scum. Aaron thought about it. How long does it take to die from AIDS? He picked up his candy bar and sat down on the slab. Eventually, the boy ate the candy and curled himself into a ball to try to keep warm. The boy didn’t really sleep, he turned his mind off.
Sometime in the middle of the night, Aaron got off the slab with a throat ripping thirst. The chocolate bars and soda made his thirst a hundred times worse. Aaron knew there was only one source of water available. He sat down in front of the bowl for almost an hour staring at the water. Finally, he dipped his head in and drank. Aaron was the last of the boys except for Alex to drink from the fountain provided by the State for them. Years later Aaron heard that Berkowitz had found god. If he did, Aaron was sure that the creep would be trying to fuck the lord.